It's the Arockalypse
May 15, 2006 9:18 PM   Subscribe

Hardrock Hallelujah Finland's entry for this year's Eurovision contest. It is indeed the day of Rockening.
posted by EtJabberwock (50 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
They did a fun bit about this on CBC's As It Happens a couple of weeks ago. The main story on April 27, 2006 (probably at the end of part 3 [realaudio]), but don't miss the listener comments from April 28, 2006 (probably at end of part 3 again [realaudio]).
posted by Chuckles at 9:27 PM on May 15, 2006

Ya, and..
Oh Lordi!
posted by Chuckles at 9:29 PM on May 15, 2006

I don't know what's wrong with me: initially I read this as Hardrock Fallujah.

Which puzzled me.
posted by jouke at 9:35 PM on May 15, 2006

After seeing the video:

Oh, to be 14 again.
posted by jouke at 9:36 PM on May 15, 2006

posted by awesomebrad at 9:37 PM on May 15, 2006

Haha, I just happened to stumble across this kid's Milli Vanilli rendition. Check out some of his other hits as well.

I just hope he has the camera rolling when he comes back and watches these about four years from now.
posted by EtJabberwock at 9:41 PM on May 15, 2006

Kewl ..stupid ... kewl ... Euro Slipknot or Kiss guys with a knack for Abba melodies. Parents .... forget Avian Flu .. this could infect 7 year old boys minds faster than Ivan Ooze's Purple slime.
posted by celerystick at 9:43 PM on May 15, 2006

comrades arm your Oozinators (tm) and ready to do battle
posted by celerystick at 9:45 PM on May 15, 2006

Erm, though I have to admit, that kid is so much cooler than this one. I think his eyebrows must've been drummers in a past life or something.
posted by EtJabberwock at 9:45 PM on May 15, 2006

Yeah, ok, that was pretty sweet. I wish I could've lead a horde of zombie cheerleaders down the halls of my high school. Hell, I wish I could've just thought of the idea of zombie cheerleader hordes running through the halls. Carrie was a chump.
posted by Doublewhiskeycokenoice at 9:48 PM on May 15, 2006

Holy crap, Lordi rocks on so many levels it's like a flaky, delicious Napoleon of awesome. Only Napoleons are kinda faggy and not very awesome, so maybe replace the pastry with black leather and the frothy cream with fake blood. Oh, and zombies.

more videos
posted by xthlc at 9:59 PM on May 15, 2006 [1 favorite]

If you think that's kind of outside the Eurovision norm, take a look at Germany's entry: Texas Lightning. A English-language country quintet formed by the stars of a German comedy show, who insist "It's not a joke, it's country!" but still, the drummer is known as Ringofire. With sweet-voiced lead singer Miss Jane Comerford (as Herself), they do straight-forward country songs like "Gentle on My Mind" and "Jackson", and countrified arrangements of "Like a Virgin", "Walk on the Wild Side" and "Highway to Hell". (Plus one original contribution "No No Never" to qualify for the Grand Prix)
posted by wendell at 10:02 PM on May 15, 2006

The UK's entry this year may be their worst ever.
posted by dw at 10:18 PM on May 15, 2006

MetaFilter: My fangs are sharp and my eyes are red
posted by p3on at 10:33 PM on May 15, 2006

According to the current odds, Portugal is the longest shot, running as much as 500-1.

CAUTION: The following video contains extreme kitsch and may possibly cause permanent brain damage.

Here's the video.
posted by dw at 10:39 PM on May 15, 2006

WTF? Is this intentional? Why are acts like these chosen?
posted by zabuni at 10:46 PM on May 15, 2006

Wig Wam (Norway 2005) - (warning huge image)
posted by zenzizi at 10:57 PM on May 15, 2006

I think there's a general underappreciation by us Americans of how crazy this Eurovision thing is. I hadn't ever heard of it before a year ago this time, when I was traveling in Europe with some friends. We were in Athens at the time, on the night that the Greek entry, (the ridiculously hot) Helena Paparizou, won the contest. We were walking back to our hostel through a large public square in the middle of the city (Omonia Square I think) when we saw a gathering of thousands, lots of car alarms going off, large fires, shouting, and hundreds of Greek flags. We immediately assumed that a revolution was going on, and took an alternate route back to our hostel to barracade ourselves in and wait for instructions from the State Department.

We discovered the next day on seeing an English-language newscast the cause of the celebration. We were in a crowd and were laughing in a amused / mocking way at the TV, surprised that people could take Eurovision so seriously, until we noticed those around us smiling and paying rapt attention to the footage of Helena meeting the Prime Minister, and we decided to stop mocking their victory. Anyway, the whole thing was a huge deal in the news for a week - I guess it's quite an event.
posted by bbuda at 11:33 PM on May 15, 2006

israel is clearly the winner.
posted by Kifer85 at 11:43 PM on May 15, 2006

zabuni: I think citizens of each country vote on who represents them, some countries take it less seriously then others.
posted by delmoi at 11:46 PM on May 15, 2006

The UK entry this year is pretty abysmal, but it's got some tough competition to beat to win the worst UK entry ever award. Remember Jemini?

I always look forward to Terry Wogan's wry commentary - "oh, and the Greeks have awarded the Cypriots 10 points, now there's a surprise".
posted by greycap at 12:24 AM on May 16, 2006

There's an enormous Europe-wide campaign for Lordi up at They've managed to get their propaganda (rockaganda?) message translated to a whopping 18 European languages by supportive volunteers in a very short time. I hope they succeed in their "Agents in Athens" campaign, although time's a bit short.

I live in Finland, and it's too bad I can't make it to the contest venue to wave huge banners. If Lordi wins, the resulting shocked media frenzy, outraged letters to the editor etc. will be delicious beyond measure.
posted by lifeless at 12:46 AM on May 16, 2006

The costumes and antics seem ridiculous, but really, the Finnish metal scene is fairly awesome. Also recommended are In Flames and Arch Enemy (from nearby Sweden). Click those links and have a listen. But make sure you are wearing socks first. Because they will be rocked to a significant degree.

If Lordi wins, I will dance a jig. A jig of happiness.
posted by Drunken_munky at 12:50 AM on May 16, 2006

zabuni: yes, it's very much intentional... Lordi can be compared to Kiss (and they probably owe their existence to Kiss) both musically and in terms of showmanship.

Lordi won the Finnish Eurovision representative election with something of a landslide from young voters, who predictably found the concept of sending a shocker like Lordi to the contest irresistible.

Whoever at Yleisradio (the Finnish state broadcaster) was responsible for inviting the band to be a contest candidate is a freaking genius.
posted by lifeless at 1:00 AM on May 16, 2006

That was hilarious. I'm so voting Lordi.
posted by sveskemus at 1:53 AM on May 16, 2006

I'm swedish and I'm rooting for Lordi. A statement like that is high treason this time of year. :)
posted by soundofsuburbia at 2:37 AM on May 16, 2006

Finally, a Finnish entry to the Eurovision Song Contest I can be proud about. My mum told me the second she found out and I had a major giggle-fit about the absurdity of it all...

They have an official website with videos and things, y'know. No need for the googlevideo.

Lordi ftw indeed!
posted by slimepuppy at 4:03 AM on May 16, 2006

God Bless Eurovision.
posted by GuyZero at 6:02 AM on May 16, 2006

lifeless: Actually, I'd compare them more to GWAR, only without the massive styrofoam genitalia and "disgusting for the sake of disgusting" lyrics, and with a much catchier sound.

I guess part of the history of this whole Eurovision thing is that, for a while, it was viewed as an honor to win, since the winner's country hosts the next awards, and it results in increased tourism, etc, etc. But I guess more and more countries started viewing it as a joke, and it became more of a burden to host it than anything. Ireland won three times in a row, and lost progressively more money on it each time.

The reason Ireland kept winning was because there used to be a rule that the entries could only be in the primary language of the country submitting. But people are more likely to vote for lyrics they recognize, and with English being a secondary language among a vast number of people, English language songs would get more votes. And, of course, there's no way Ireland is going to vote for the UK, so Ireland kept turning up victorious.

That's what I've heard, at least.

I think the competition is so much more fun and entertaining when people stop taking it and themselves so seriously. When you start getting songs with meta themes and groups like Lordi and that joke performer Sylvia Night, the serious acts just seem somehow pathetic. Like, you just know that some of them are all "You guys! Stop goofing around! I trained for years for this! This is important!" Like, it comes down to really awesome non-serious acts vs. manufactured, cliche, boring old American Idol-ish shit like the aforementioned British entry.
posted by EtJabberwock at 8:45 AM on May 16, 2006

On the day of Rockening
It's hooters that wins..

Is that what it says? Perhaps something is lost in translation for me.
posted by dness2 at 9:50 AM on May 16, 2006

zenzizi: "Wig Wam (Norway 2005) - (warning huge image)"

Here I thought it might have been this Wigwam—imagine my disappointment.
posted by kenko at 10:12 AM on May 16, 2006

Starts to hum Te Deum by Charpentier.
posted by jouke at 11:16 AM on May 16, 2006

This is so beyond awesome.
posted by dejah420 at 11:20 AM on May 16, 2006

zabuni, bbuda & other non-eu mefi's: in the Netherlands there are a lot of people, a lot of gays among them, who like to gather to watch the Eurovision contest to cheer on all the acts in their supreme kitsch and tackiness.
I expect that's the case in other countries too.
posted by jouke at 11:21 AM on May 16, 2006

I was thinking GWAR too, when someone up above said Kiss. Lordi looks awesome, though I think my favorite Eurovision act ever was Germany's Guildo Horn in the 1998 contest. Can't seem to find video of it online which is a crying shame. I used to have it on VHS before it got Katrina'd.
posted by Hal Mumkin at 12:14 PM on May 16, 2006

Rock and roll angels bring the hardrock hallelujah!

I'm going to sing this all day!
posted by Justinian at 2:46 PM on May 16, 2006

The reason Ireland kept winning was because there used to be a rule that the entries could only be in the primary language of the country submitting. But people are more likely to vote for lyrics they recognize, and with English being a secondary language among a vast number of people, English language songs would get more votes. And, of course, there's no way Ireland is going to vote for the UK, so Ireland kept turning up victorious.

Hold on there Lord England, Ireland won due to far SUPERIOR songs
I can't find a link to my favourite, the winner in 1994, "rock'n'roll kids",
but the Irelands 1993 winner is on youtube.
Ireland won three in a row and couldn't finance any more victories so left the voting open to the public to pick future entries, which was brilliantly parodied in an episode of Father Ted
posted by quantumonkey at 2:59 PM on May 16, 2006

I remember watching so many Eurovision contests where we got 1 or 2 pity point from Swedes even after the media had hyped for weeks that this time there was a "real" chance of surprise.

So I think that this is the greatest entry of all times..
posted by zeikka at 6:50 PM on May 16, 2006

Update to the fans: Lordi is in the finals!
Oh yeah!
posted by slimepuppy at 2:19 PM on May 18, 2006

I just watched the end of the semi finals or whatever the hell that was and Lordi looked so wonderfully out of place with their hideous masks and costumes on stage between all those bleeched teeth and fake boobs.
posted by sveskemus at 3:21 PM on May 18, 2006

"Treble", the act that apparently followed, seems from the videos I've seen like they were what Lordi used to pick their teeth, and after all the carnage, the bones just sort of gathered themselves together and did their own little thing before being swept offstage. (No offense intended to any of their supporters/fans, of course. They're a cute act and they don't really sound that bad, but come on.) I'm wondering if all the smoke was still floating around when they were performing. I can picture the members of Lordi all hanging around just offstage, looming, while Treble set up.
posted by EtJabberwock at 11:18 PM on May 18, 2006

And hey, they've pretty much wrapped up the title, with four countries to go.
posted by dw at 2:53 PM on May 20, 2006

Holy shit!
posted by sveskemus at 2:54 PM on May 20, 2006

I was going to say "Dear Lordi!" but that sounded too punny.
posted by dw at 2:56 PM on May 20, 2006

So ss this is Laplander payback for decades if not centuries of opression by the Finns?

(sure I went there. It's metafilter.)
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 3:03 PM on May 20, 2006

Holy crap. They won!
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 3:15 PM on May 20, 2006

posted by Justinian at 3:18 PM on May 20, 2006

Holy shit!

Lordi rules you all!
posted by slimepuppy at 3:24 PM on May 20, 2006

This is good.
posted by jb at 4:39 PM on May 20, 2006

That was hilarious. I havenät watched a eurovision since I was a kid but Lordi sucked me right back in.

Rätt låt vann!
posted by dabitch at 1:38 AM on May 21, 2006

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