Know your metal!
June 3, 2006 12:02 PM   Subscribe

Well, wouldja, punk? "6/6/06 is only days away! If you were tied to the goat head alter and forced to differentiate between Grind Skronk and Math Prog Metal, would you be able to do it?"
posted by goo (28 comments total)
I must admit, I would not.

I think I'm a better person for it.
posted by kafziel at 12:14 PM on June 3, 2006

posted by davebush at 12:16 PM on June 3, 2006

It' grindcore and mathrock, not -metal.
posted by bardic at 12:29 PM on June 3, 2006

it's altar, not alter.
posted by quonsar at 12:44 PM on June 3, 2006

Stupid is as stupid does.

(Never a better place for that)
posted by HTuttle at 12:46 PM on June 3, 2006

I think I could, based on the names alone.
posted by StickyCarpet at 12:48 PM on June 3, 2006

I've always been skeptical of all these classifications, it seems so superficial (and gimmicky) on the surface. Sepultura, really? They had fairly mainstream success and I don't see how the fact that they are from Brazil makes it "Brazilian Death Metal"... once they hit it big they moved to the states anyway, so did that make those subsequent albums "US Death Metal"? No. Also, how are these terms supposed to relate to the sound at all... it's like an infantile expansion of the allusions inherent in "metal" - "grind, slash, shred", etc. Silly.
posted by prostyle at 12:51 PM on June 3, 2006

My feelings about this post would best be summarized by a sampling of lyrics from the band Carcass' seminal 1988 album "Reek of Putrefaction." To wit, here's a bit from the song "Foeticide":

"Spasmodic convulsions of pleasure are gained
Pumping out the boiling gunge as you languish in pain
Scouring out the womb from effervescing rot
Scrubbing-brush comes in handy to clean out all the clots."
posted by bardic at 12:57 PM on June 3, 2006

I never thought I'd actually be thankful for SQL, but 06-JUN-2006 solves this little problem quite nicely.
posted by eriko at 1:02 PM on June 3, 2006

Could've chosen a better Kyuss tune. And what's with the Noam Chomsky?
posted by Orange Goblin at 1:25 PM on June 3, 2006

You may not like this post but the WFMU blog post is great.
posted by kenko at 1:26 PM on June 3, 2006

This seems a good occasion to post the Top 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pics of All Time. And also the updated 2005 edition (NSFW).
posted by exogenous at 1:42 PM on June 3, 2006

I like the Laswell stuff, but I think it's out of place here.
posted by 2sheets at 1:53 PM on June 3, 2006

I like the Laswell stuff too, but I remain unconvinced that he and his frequent collaborators are singlehandedly producing several distinct genres of metal music.

Many genre fans seem to have this thing where they try to put everyone who was every vaguely connected to their preferred form under the same umbrella. Is there a name for this phenomenon?
posted by box at 2:11 PM on June 3, 2006

Remember back in the old days, when a band might play songs that varied thematically from one another? What would happen, say if a band came along and played BOTH Grindocore AND Emocore? Could people handle such a heavy concept?
posted by Devils Rancher at 2:13 PM on June 3, 2006

The Metal Maker. (I was gonna work it into a FPP somehow, but it kinda fits in here.)
posted by milquetoast at 2:55 PM on June 3, 2006

I have to admit, I don't get it. The devotees of this kind of music seem to have more in common with the nerds the listened to Yes, Rush and ELP in my day, than their headbanging forebears that were fanatical about Sabbath, Judas Priest and Iron Maiden. The iconography is still somewhat related to the old metal, but the fetishistic obsession with it seems a litte more geeky or something.
posted by psmealey at 3:38 PM on June 3, 2006

Metalheads have _always_ been geeky. It's a stereotype that every metal band has the nerdy, softspoken guitar wiz who spent his teenage years in his bedroom practising (Eddie Van Halen or Marty Friedman) and the more savvy rhythm section or singer who fortifies the image of the band. The nerds and the tough guys live very well together in metal, they know they need each other and they seem to get along. I'm sure jonmc would have something to say about that.
posted by Space Coyote at 4:33 PM on June 3, 2006

The other thing to keep in mind is that that WFMU blog post was aimed at, well, WFMU listeners. They(I speak as a WFMU listener) are probably much more likely to be geeky about music than most. Also, as eclectic as WFMU is, they do tend to like certain kinds of things better than others, and that list definitely reflected that. It was a bit weighted towards the proggy/noisy/mathy side of things.

The headbangers who loved Sabbath, Priest, and Maiden are definitely still around, though. I think a lot of them refuse to listen to anything made after that period, but those that do listen to new music mostly listen to power metal and/or thrash metal.

Anyway, if you thought that list was confusingly complicated, I read it and the first thing I thought was "hmm, not bad, but there's a lot it's leaving out." Which, I realize, puts me quite squarely into the geek category. Still, metal certainly isn't the only form of music to have a bewilderingly huge number of sub-genres...
posted by a louis wain cat at 5:51 PM on June 3, 2006

Let us not forget metal's answer to the National Day of Prayer: National Day of Slayer. Warning: your speakers will be assaulted.
posted by WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot at 7:32 PM on June 3, 2006

The Grind Noise example is just an example of Noise. There's no "metal" or "grind" in it.
posted by Bugbread at 8:10 PM on June 3, 2006

posted by VirtualWolf at 9:05 PM on June 3, 2006

I really think nonmetal songs about metal need to be their own separate microgenre. Metametal?

Think about it--"The Best Ever Death Metal Band Out Of Denton", "Heavy Metal Drummer", "Nonmetal Dude Wearing Metal Tee", "Power Ballad for Ozzy Osbourne", hell, even "Teenage Dirtbag". Metametal doesn't just rule, it METARULES!

Also, that Warhorse track is frickin' awesome.
posted by arto at 10:01 PM on June 3, 2006

only on WFMU. They have to be one of the best college radio stations in the country. Fond memories of listening to WFMU many years ago travelling in the car looking for skate spots. LOL!
posted by Funmonkey1 at 12:28 AM on June 4, 2006

This is good. Thanks.

I've recently quite gotten into noise/doom/prog metal. Lots of really interesting work going in the subgenres that most people rarely hear about. Well, didn't used to, but now that Sunn0)))'s been featured in the NYT, I'll be curious to see what happens. I agree that the classification 'system' is a more than a little daft, but to say that you listen to metal doesn't really narrow it down much any more. Slipknot (thankfully) != Dillinger Escape Plan.
posted by slimepuppy at 1:43 AM on June 4, 2006

Putting my pedant's hat on: 'grind skronk' should really be 'jazz grind'.
posted by macdara at 4:45 AM on June 4, 2006

I hear that people are having their kids induced to avoid accidentally giving birth to the antichrist. Idiots.
posted by Artw at 8:54 AM on June 4, 2006

about that, does everyone remember the news post maybe 8 months ago stating that scholars translating super-early greek versions of christian scriptures realized that they've had the 666 "mark of the beast" number completely wrong? They actually read it as 616.

So, yaknow. apparently the anti-christ is already among us.
posted by Parannoyed at 2:01 PM on June 4, 2006

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