Penny for your thoughts?

June 12, 2006 4:42 PM

Elongated Pennies. Pressed pennies, flattened pennies, squished pennies, smashed pennies, whatever you call them, they are an exciting, kid-enticing presence at any tourist attraction, amusement park, or museum. For two quarters and a penny (pre-1982 preferred by the serious buffs) you can legally flatten the lowest of our nation's currency (and sometimes Canada's) into a souvenir disk that's embossed with a picturesque reminder of your trip. But these pennies don't live and die by the child's pants pocket, pressed penny collecting is serious business. Heck, there's even a museum devoted to the hobby, as well as a thriving collecting scene. So next time you pass by one of these cool machines, pause, elbow the penniless kids out of the way, and get yourself a neat little trinket of remembrance.
posted by lychee (51 comments total)

I misread "elongated pennies" as "elongated penises" then chanced on "by the child's pants pocket" in my glance at this post, and was afeared. Now I'm afeared to click anything.
posted by cgc373 at 4:45 PM on June 12, 2006

Yeah, i did exactly the same thing. And coincidentally, I also have a flattened, kid-enticing penis.
posted by macmac at 4:46 PM on June 12, 2006

They had the penny-smashers at the Hogle Zoo when I was a kid, and the plastic-molded-animal thingies. They were the best part of the zoo, as far as I was concerned.

Well, second to the poo-flinging monkeys, anyway.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:46 PM on June 12, 2006

Aw. My 3.5 year old is obsessed with these. Has one of those little "penny wallets" and everything.

I once whacked her silly with the crank of one of the machines, when we were making her a clownfish-embossed coin at the Steinhardt Aquarium in San Francisco. She cried for about five minutes (I whacked her HARD), blew her nose on my shirt, and then looked up and said "Where's my Nemo penny?".

Good times.
posted by padraigin at 4:47 PM on June 12, 2006

You're all doing it wrong!

The correct way to do it is place a penny on an active railroad track, and come back later. None of this namby-pamby zoo stuff.
posted by Floach at 4:58 PM on June 12, 2006

I misread "elongated pennies" as "elongated penises"

So did I.
posted by ericb at 5:02 PM on June 12, 2006

place a penny on an active railroad track

Yup!
posted by StickyCarpet at 5:41 PM on June 12, 2006

They've got one of these at Stone Mountain outside of Atlanta that crushes out the face of Abraham Lincoln and replaces it with the noble visage of Confederate President Jefferson Davis....
posted by mr_roboto at 5:42 PM on June 12, 2006

I misread it too. It's a conspiracy!
posted by Addlepated at 5:48 PM on June 12, 2006

The correct way to do it is place a penis on an active railroad track
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:49 PM on June 12, 2006

DEFACING UNITED STATES CURRENCY IS A FEDERAL CRIME, BUb.....oh hell, I almost pulled it off with a straight face...

We used to stick quarters and nickels on the tracks when I was a kid. The metal composite layers in quarters especially looked cool when squishified.

Of course, there were always the childhood rumors that either a: the coins would cause the trains to derail (ridiculous in retrospect) or b: that they would come squirting/shooting out the side with such force as to potentially maim or kill.

Probably also ridiculous, but we weren't taking any chances. We always ducked down behind a tree, rock, etc when the train came by.
posted by stenseng at 5:49 PM on June 12, 2006

Pennyphiles.
posted by Colloquial Collision at 5:53 PM on June 12, 2006

A penny is worth around 1.2 cents at current zinc prices. Crush away.
posted by econous at 5:57 PM on June 12, 2006

I grew up with my brothers smashing pennies Floach's way, terrified that the train would, indeed, jump the track.

I have a cool smushed penny with an image of the Hunley submarine on it. A penny machine put the picture on - not a train.

But that could be cool, too, I guess.
posted by ersatzkat at 6:10 PM on June 12, 2006

train-tracks are the only way to do this right...put a whole row down and see how many are still there after a train goes by. : >
posted by amberglow at 6:17 PM on June 12, 2006

I had never heard about penny-squashing machines. Squishing pennies is illegal in Canada, so the only way you can do it is on a railroad track.
posted by arcticwoman at 6:22 PM on June 12, 2006

Oh yes b1tr0t. One should begin collecting pennies and selling them as scrap, or shaving them.
posted by econous at 6:40 PM on June 12, 2006

I also misread it. Yikes!
posted by thejoshu at 6:49 PM on June 12, 2006

arcticwoman - there are penny-punching machines, too. The machine will leave the penny its original dimension, but punch a shape out of the middle so you have a star-shaped hole or a heart-shaped hole or some such. Somewhere upstairs I have a star-shaped-hole penny that was issued my birth year.
posted by ersatzkat at 6:50 PM on June 12, 2006

mr_crash_davis: I spent my childhood at Hogle as well. Whenever I smell melting wax, it takes me back to those fresh pressed wax animal figurines. That machine is still magic to me.
posted by fatbobsmith at 6:53 PM on June 12, 2006

I have never heard of the penny punching machines, and now desperately want to go search for them.
posted by lychee at 7:03 PM on June 12, 2006

Those damned penny's caused me a long day at EPCOT last year as my wife tried to get one from each country. I wanted a beer tour of all the countries myself but got vetoed.
posted by UseyurBrain at 7:11 PM on June 12, 2006

lychee - I'm certain my experience with penny punching machines has all been highway-rest-stop related, for what it's worth. Smushed pennies are more common at visitor's center places - for instance, my HL Hunley penny was smushed at the Charleston Visitors Center, for the princely sum of 50 cents plus a sacrificial penny.
posted by ersatzkat at 7:16 PM on June 12, 2006

If you can't squish a penny, you're not actually on vacation.
posted by Biblio at 7:22 PM on June 12, 2006

"I misread "elongated pennies" as "elongated penises""

Whew! It wasn't just me (I thought I was going to have to cut-back on the Fark).
posted by MikeMc at 8:28 PM on June 12, 2006

Shoot; I have two of them, which is a collection, I suppose - Bermuda and Virginia Beach. Anyone wanna trade?
posted by yhbc at 8:31 PM on June 12, 2006

It should be noted that Godspeed You Black Emperor's F#A#∞ LP includes a locomotive-flattened penny.
posted by sigma7 at 8:34 PM on June 12, 2006

Wow. I also misread the word pennies. This is a disturbing trend.

On topic, I seem to remember a penny press machine at Segaworld in Picadilly that would make a little Sonic the Hedgehog. Can anyone confirm that?
posted by danb at 8:41 PM on June 12, 2006

Squishing pennies is illegal in Canada

Well then the gift shop in Peggy's Cove is a hotbed of subversive criminal activity, not to mention elongated penises.
posted by CynicalKnight at 8:42 PM on June 12, 2006

Yeah, the Winnipg Zoo has a penny crushing machine, as well as some of the most depressing bears I've ever had the misfortune to encounter.

Me, I do all my penny-crushing with my penis.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:57 PM on June 12, 2006

place a penny on an active railroad track

I think I was maybe 12 years old when I learned this trick. Imagine my surprise when one of the trains actually stopped and the driver got out and gave chase! My mischief analysis had not considered that possibility. Lesson: don't put pennies on lightrail tracks.
posted by ryanrs at 9:10 PM on June 12, 2006

punch a shape out of the middle so you have a star-shaped hole
Shuriken!!
posted by tellurian at 9:20 PM on June 12, 2006

Strange. I read the title as 'Penis for your thoughts?'
posted by horsewithnoname at 9:55 PM on June 12, 2006

Do these "pennies/penises" mix-ups bespeak a certain . . . insecurity . . . 'round these parts? Or is this perfectly understandably lexicographical swappage?
posted by cgc373 at 9:59 PM on June 12, 2006

Somewhere I have the words to the Canadian national anthem stamped into a smashed penny, which I bought in Ottawa. Oddly, the smashed penny is a U.S. penny.
posted by schmedeman at 10:33 PM on June 12, 2006

schmedeman - well that's because having it on a Canadian penny would've been illegal.

Some friends had a penny smasher at their wedding that made a cute memento with names and date of the happy couple etc. So they are apparently for rent and you can get a customized design set up. For a price...?
posted by zoinks at 11:53 PM on June 12, 2006

I got one when I visited Marsh's Free Museum many moons ago, they stamp theirs with Jake The Alligator Man. Jake's there too, in a big glass display case, kinda creeped me out when I saw it.
posted by squeak at 1:29 AM on June 13, 2006

One of my strangest and possibly most macabre possessions is a World Trade Center elongated penny. I remember getting it 'minted' in the WTC on 11 September, 2000.
posted by randomination at 3:42 AM on June 13, 2006

Penises!
posted by beerbajay at 5:23 AM on June 13, 2006

My wife collects these and has the wallet, too.

It's been a while since she's added to the collection, though. I'll have to send this to here.
posted by lyam at 6:33 AM on June 13, 2006

I recently made a Frank Zappa penny (scroll down). Who knew?
posted by exogenous at 7:07 AM on June 13, 2006

When I was a kid, we used the "train method" too.

What's funny when I think about it is that my mom let a six-year-old me sneak under the lowered guards and put a quarter on the tracks, as the lights flashed and the warning bells rang. Usually there would be several other kids doing this at the same time, as the tracks ran by a park popular with kids.

A machine to do it for you sounds much safer. Less exciting, though.
posted by meringue at 8:43 AM on June 13, 2006

i have you all beat...i have a penny with the face of frank zappa on it. it was in a penny smushing machine off of I-95 in maryland. i saw frank's face and knew i MUST HAVE ONE! i think he would want it that way.
posted by ShawnString at 10:04 AM on June 13, 2006

i have you all beat...

Not exogenous you don't.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 10:35 AM on June 13, 2006

arcticwoman -- There are actually squished "penny" machines in Canada. They just use a blank copper disk instead of a penny. The rest of it works the same, though. You still put in your 50 cents (or whatever the cost) and turn the crank.

I've been collecting elongated coins for probably 20-25 years now. Can't get enough of them. I keep thinking I have this huge collection (I'm up to around 300 coins), but then I talk to others with the same hobby and it turns out I really don't have that many.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that there's a support (err... enthusiast's) group for those of us who seek out these wonderful little souvenirs -- The Elongated Collectors.

And one final note regarding the little penny wallets. If you're a serious collector of elongateds, these are probably the worst way you could store them. The plastic in them contains PVC, which will eventually eat into the coins' finish and lessen their value.
posted by aine42 at 11:16 AM on June 13, 2006

I've got penny envy.
posted by Catfry at 11:36 AM on June 13, 2006

sorry exogenous...i guess you did beat me.

thanks PinkStainlessTail, i guess thats what happens when you just kinda skim stuff...
posted by ShawnString at 11:57 AM on June 13, 2006

My now-husband and I squished a penny in a general store (read: tourist trap and souvenir shop) on our first date. I wanted to rent a penny pressing machine to have at our wedding, and let guests make their own favors, but they aren't exactly portable and it would have been wicked expensive to arrange. I even used the original pressed penny during our vows, some cheesy metaphor about the penny and our now-priceless love (shut up, it was a wedding, what do you expect).

Take note, Penny Machine People: you could rent these out to brides and make a killing, if you would charge something slightly under one jillion dollars for the service.
posted by pineapple at 12:45 PM on June 13, 2006

We were told not to put BULLETS on railroad tracks.

Not that I ever heard of a train actually being derailed by a bullet.
posted by small_ruminant at 4:34 PM on June 13, 2006

I'm relieved that others misread that first line, too. I was starting to get a little freaked by the time I read "squished penises" and "kid-enticing" sequentially.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:36 PM on June 13, 2006

My initial reaction to this post was more along the lines of "this is news?" These things are quite familiar along I-95. While I have heard of the museum (one of these days I should go, it's nearby), I had not heard of PennyCollector.com. So thanks to exogenous for that.
posted by etoile at 11:38 AM on June 14, 2006