June 19, 2006 2:58 PM   Subscribe

Its not awesome.
posted by Ironmouth at 3:03 PM on June 19, 2006

This is awesome, damn it. I love the transforming sound, too.
posted by brundlefly at 3:08 PM on June 19, 2006

Awesome. What's awesomer? Remembering how if a heated GI Joe/Transformer/Space Legos battle got out of hand (my childhood posse and I weren't purists), you could do some serious damage to a lamp, a flower pot, or a human foreheard with a Transformer. Those suckers were heavy.

And I had Starscream, SSIH.
posted by bardic at 3:10 PM on June 19, 2006

This is pretty cool.
Though I do get pretty annoyed with the constant "The page “Botch's Transformers Box Art Archive has content of MIME type “application/x-oleobject”. Because you don’t have a plug-in installed for this MIME type, this content can’t be displayed." alert.
posted by Thorzdad at 3:11 PM on June 19, 2006

posted by bardic at 3:12 PM on June 19, 2006

Botch is a really awesome guy who I worked with for a very short period last year. Lots of great music stuff going on there, too. Damn you BlackLeotardFront, you beat me to this post!
posted by Captaintripps at 3:13 PM on June 19, 2006

What? No decodable tech specs?
posted by logicpunk at 3:15 PM on June 19, 2006

Standard Metafilter. First comment is snark, plus poster gets its/it's wrong.
posted by emelenjr at 3:16 PM on June 19, 2006

Ironmouth writes "Its not awesome."

If you look on page 47 of your manual, you'll discover that it is, in fact, awesome.
posted by Bugbread at 3:18 PM on June 19, 2006

I have the "originals" of most of those last links. Dog eared after two generations of play, but the boxes are still there, with their styrene, and the toys still work. :)
posted by -harlequin- at 3:20 PM on June 19, 2006

Logicpunk, that's a pretty great link too! Everyone should go there as well. Glad there are other Transformers fans in the Mefi.

Post anything else you guys have, this can be a real Transformers resource.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 3:21 PM on June 19, 2006

I know someone who will go bonkers for those links, thanks.
posted by nickyskye at 3:28 PM on June 19, 2006

Wow, THIS brings back memories. I look forward to the nostalgia inducing links...
posted by taursir at 3:28 PM on June 19, 2006

I put my vote in for "awesome" as well.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:35 PM on June 19, 2006

Standard Metafilter. First comment is snark, plus poster gets its/it's wrong.

Now that's awesome. I reckon you should draft a RFC or perhaps an ISO standard as per the ISO standard cup of tea.
posted by pivotal at 3:35 PM on June 19, 2006

Ironmouth: please use correct punctuation when making obvious snarky comments.
posted by freebird at 3:37 PM on June 19, 2006

damn, now I see several people beat me to the anti-snark punctuation snark. I love MeFi.
posted by freebird at 3:38 PM on June 19, 2006


WikiPedia Entry
posted by eurasian at 3:38 PM on June 19, 2006

How... how did he... get all these box arts.... I read around on his page, I guess he's.. collecting... and scanning? I mean, my god, wow.
posted by cavalier at 3:52 PM on June 19, 2006

This IS awesome, and with good timing. I've been searching the internets in vain all day for a copy of the leaked script for the upcoming movie. I've found many photos from the set, including Bumblebee, who will be a camaro. But I can't find the script! The script review says Bumblebee won't speak, because of a war wound, ala Snake-Eyes from G.I. Joe.I'd quit geeking out here, but I must link to an old Transformers techno song from about 1992. So there.
posted by mattoly at 4:00 PM on June 19, 2006

If you want to get your Grimlock on (or Bumblebee, or Hoist, or Jawbreaker or...) I suggest Click on the "Toys" link at the top. Many of the Transformers, from lines old and new, have terrific amateur-shot, but pro-quality, photos there. Some favorites are here, here and here. Of course this guy's rad, too. And... and... I could just keep going.

The first "here" link I provided is to a Japanese-only Transformer from the Beast Wars Neo line. Some of that line's packaging was pretty cool, too. These can usually be found MISB on eBay for not too much. I've got three of four anyway, and I'm stingy on my purchases.

Now Diaclone Transformers (eBay link) on the other hand...
posted by Slothrop at 4:07 PM on June 19, 2006

I never noticed Megatron's huge schlong before...
posted by beerbajay at 4:09 PM on June 19, 2006

There was a Transformer named "HUFFER"?
posted by justkevin at 4:11 PM on June 19, 2006

This is awesome. I've just remembered how hard it was to transform the dinosaur bit of the Grimlock Pretender into the robot and back. My fingers still hurt.
posted by armoured-ant at 4:14 PM on June 19, 2006

Starscream could never get a fair shake on the cartoon. Though, maybe it was because he was a whiny bumbling bitch!
posted by starscream at 4:16 PM on June 19, 2006

Best. Memories. Ever.

G.I. Joe / Transformers / Space Lego - hells yeah!

This brings me way back. Thanks for the link.
posted by C.Batt at 4:34 PM on June 19, 2006

Sorry, but I just can't get worked up about the transformers. The original '70's G.I. Joe is more my thing. As for the its/it's dichotomy, when you're trying to get your snark in fast, there's no time for grammar.
posted by Ironmouth at 4:47 PM on June 19, 2006

Ooh, the memories. I used to have a huge collection of Transformers toys when I was small -- the original set, made of metal. (The only one I couldn't ever find/get was Shockwave, god I wanted that). Being anal, I kept all the boxes too.

Then when we moved house, my mum decided I'd outgrown them. And binned them all! Boxes and all! The money I could have made from geeks!
posted by bonaldi at 4:48 PM on June 19, 2006

posted by Galvatron at 5:13 PM on June 19, 2006

Transformers. Eh.

What I miss are the Micronauts! I want my Rocket Tubes back!
posted by eyeballkid at 5:24 PM on June 19, 2006

We didnae have toys where i grew up , we went fishing with carrier bags in the canal AND WERE GRATEFUL.
posted by sgt.serenity at 5:26 PM on June 19, 2006

I'm remembering the look of bewilderment on my parents' and grandparents' faces as I would effortlessly transform those toys back and forth.

"How do you know how to do that?"
"Well, it's easy. Look, you just do this..."
posted by emelenjr at 5:34 PM on June 19, 2006

Oh, and:

We're 15 days away from the launch of the web site.
posted by emelenjr at 5:42 PM on June 19, 2006

Uhh, beerbajay, you want to talk about huge transformers schlongs?

Scattershot, the Transpornstar

posted by BlackLeotardFront at 5:52 PM on June 19, 2006

What, no Millenium Falcon?
posted by TonyRobots at 6:00 PM on June 19, 2006

Huh. Never knew they had different names in Japan. Strange that they would bother to change them, since no translation was evidently needed.
posted by hoborg at 6:06 PM on June 19, 2006

Definitely awesome. I got a lot of flashbacks looking over these. For three or so years when I was a kid all I wanted for Christmas was a Transformer. My favourite was Soundwave with the cassettes that fit in the front but turned into dogs and stuff (birds?). Now all I need is scans of the comics...
posted by ny_scotsman at 7:11 PM on June 19, 2006

Yeah, this is pretty awesome. I hate to be total dork, but I might actually be looking forward to the Transformers movie.

Okay, now that I read that back I realize how embarassing an admission it is. Better just delete is andohnowaitjustaminute
posted by jonson at 7:23 PM on June 19, 2006

d'oh. Oh well, my secret is out.
posted by jonson at 7:23 PM on June 19, 2006

I never had any Transformers when I was a kid, my mom got me those ghetto-ass GoBots.

I'm going to my room to cry now.
posted by Alexandros at 7:31 PM on June 19, 2006

This is the most awesomest thing on the internet EVER.
posted by DakotaPaul at 8:05 PM on June 19, 2006

I'll correct the snarky spelling. This is not awesome, it is stupid.
posted by nlindstrom at 10:39 PM on June 19, 2006

I might actually be looking forward to the Transformers movie.

Only if the writers of this one are as stoned as the writers of the first one were. Brought new meaning to WTF, that did.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:58 PM on June 19, 2006

nlindstrom, were you born the ruiner of worlds? or did you have to work at it?
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 11:30 PM on June 19, 2006

Surely, "this is not awesome; this is stupid"?

Elsewhere (and notwithstanding that I suspect Ironmouth may simply be envious of the comparative fame of his relative Ironhide), it's curious to think that Transformers appear in fact to have remained in some form of cultural circulation almost constantly, but slightly underneath the radar of all but the most enthusiastic (oh God) transfan. So, after the Golden Age there was Generation 2 (ill-fated), Beast Wars (ill-conceived), Beast Machines (illmatic), Machine Wars (I may actually be hallucinating by now), Machine Elves, Armada, Energon and now this return to the comparative old school of Bumblebee and Optimus Prime. In common with many in the UK, I tend to draw a fairly simple dividing line - if it isn't Furman, it isn't worth it.
posted by tannhauser at 4:44 AM on June 20, 2006

I still have my brother's transformer sheets (Twin size) which I'm planning to give to one of my nephews as a precious, precious heirloom. But I'm curious, if I sold them, would I be a millionaire? Will my nephew have to pay exorbitant estate tax on them?
posted by overanxious ducksqueezer at 5:18 AM on June 20, 2006

I never noticed Megatron's huge schlong before...

What? He's a gun. There's absolutely nothing more phallic than that. Except maybe a missile.
posted by norm at 6:28 AM on June 20, 2006

I never had any Transformers when I was a kid, my mom got me those ghetto-ass GoBots.

Heh. I had one GoBot, and then got a bunch of Transformers. Afetrwards, every play session would start with the GoBot trying to join the Deceptacons and getting a solid beatdown for being so lame.
posted by COBRA! at 6:49 AM on June 20, 2006

norm : "What? He's a gun. There's absolutely nothing more phallic than that. Except maybe a missile."

I dunno. "Big long tube" is certainly phallic, but "big jutting protrusion from crotch" strikes me as more phallic.
posted by Bugbread at 7:51 AM on June 20, 2006

GoBots? GoBots?!

You were lucky. When I asked for a Transformer, I got a friggan Lock-Bot. Yeah! You heard me! A Lock-Bot! It was a robot that would, get this, turn into a lock! Even the BB-flecked ScooterBot, who sat lone in the corner recovering from the time I smashed ones of his spindly legs with a hammer, a hammer borne of my rage at getting a friggan Scooter GoBot when I clearly had asked for a Transformer that could be both a locomotive and a space shuttle in addition to being an evil robot scoffed at the Lock-Bot.

Cheaply made, the Lock-Bot wasn't even a good lock! It broke easily, one of its arms simply falling out of its sockets when faced with my nine year old brawn. I thought this was great because it meant that my folks would wise up and get me the Transformer I asked for, maybe a Dinobot because to a nine year old 'Robot' + 'Dinosaur' = 'Christmas in July'. But No! Did you know there was more than one Lock-Bot out there? No? Well there was! Because my folks replaced Combo-the-Lock-Bot-who-broke with Keyo-the-Lock-Bot-whose-key-got-lost-and-would-never turn-back-from-a-lock. Yay! Great! And it looked like they fixed Combo's major design flaw in a more lasting manner than simply slapping a sticker reading 'Warning: Do not Attempt To Have Fun With This Toy-It Will Break' - No! They actually made the damn thing sturdy! So it wasn't my fault that I tied it to a string and hit my sister with it, Mom! That's all I could do!

My parents never understood how much this wounded me. I tried to explain again and again, but no, the damn Lock-Bots kept on coming. By the end of that summer, I was pining for anything that wasn't a Lock-Bot. Anything! GoBots were cool again! Cheap GI Joe 'SoldierMan' knockoffs? Please! Just no more Lock-Bots!

But now my parents understand. Now they see! I kept all my Lock-Bots, all of them! Combo, Keyless, Mr.Firecracker, and Nails the Hobo just to name a few! They can play with the Lock-Bots all day! I was nine and could break Combo and they're at least 60 now, so Mom and Dad should have no problem breaking the Lock-Bots and freeing themselves before the gas fills their room. No Problem Whatsoever! If not, well, I know they asked for 'air' but 'fumes from a broken gas pipe' is so much cheaper!

You can breathe it and have fun too, Mom, just use your imagination!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:02 AM on June 20, 2006 [11 favorites]

posted by freebird at 10:18 AM on June 20, 2006


I had the best of both worlds. Transformers (including a dinobot) AND a lock-bot. And while a lock-bot by itself seems kinda lame, if you already have a dinobot, there's no cooler way to lock up your trapper-keeper than with a transforming lock.

My toy agony (which, at age 31, I recently found myself reminding my mom about again last month) was when I found the ridiculously-scarce-extremely-coveted-impossible-to-find new model of Snake Eyes in a Mexican grocery store, and asked mom if I could have it. She said "Ok", and put it in the shopping cart, and I continued to walk around the store. After she checked out, she found me, and we left. We got home, I looked through the bags, Snake Eyes. "Mom, where's Snake Eyes??" "Oh, I thought maybe you wouldn't want him after all, that it was just spur of the moment, so I put him back before going through the checkout." I never did manage to find another new Snake Eyes.
posted by Bugbread at 10:25 AM on June 20, 2006

I really feel you, bugbread. Snake Eyes was the most bad-ass dude in GI Joe. I mean, come on.

I think I've had some experiences like that, except they were my older brother's awesome toys and my mom tossed them instead of giving them to me.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 11:34 AM on June 20, 2006

Wow, bugbread! That is rough! The first time I saw Snake Eyes I begged my grandmother to get him. He was in a hardware store. I managed to convince her that he was the rarest one and that I would never see him again. I did actually see him two more times. I should have gotten both of those too given how much they go for now!

robocop, is there any irony in the fact that the main dinobot was called Grimlock..?

As for Go-Bots, one or two of them were cool...
posted by Slothrop at 3:02 PM on June 20, 2006

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