Hey, I'm walkin' here!
June 27, 2006 12:35 PM   Subscribe

Coming soon to a crowded sidewalk near you: the Excuse Me Belt. (Flash. First link is video.) via
posted by hydrophonic (34 comments total)
 
I suppose one can never have too many phallic pennants.
posted by jonmc at 12:39 PM on June 27, 2006


Coming soon to a crowded sidewalk near you: karate kick to solar plexus.
posted by deadfather at 12:43 PM on June 27, 2006 [1 favorite]


chindogu da na.
I could almost imagine using it if the pole were invisible (as it sort of appears in the video!), but otherwise it's too phallic for day-to-day, public excursions.
posted by grobstein at 12:44 PM on June 27, 2006


What a great way to get oneself smacked upside one's stupid head.
posted by Gator at 12:46 PM on June 27, 2006


its all fun and phallic games....until someone loses an eye.
posted by lemonfridge at 12:47 PM on June 27, 2006


deadfather wins. And so soon in the thread!
posted by squirrel at 12:51 PM on June 27, 2006


The font, she is ugly.
posted by iconomy at 12:58 PM on June 27, 2006


Not using metafilter for a spot of market research, by any chance, hydrophonic? Here's my two cents any way.

Women could wear them, because it's a perfect invitation to hit on them.

"Yes? What can I do for you, baby?"

But as for men -- well, if you're walking behind them, they can't see it. If you're walking towards them, polite people will get out of your way, flag or no flag. Aggressive people will insist that you be the one to give way because they aren't going to obey some stupid command on a flag.

And as soon as somebody gets poked..... "See you in court, buster."

Or deadfather's karate kick.

I'll expect my £20 voucher in the post.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:01 PM on June 27, 2006


I'm gonna go with smacked upside the head.
posted by 2sheets at 1:06 PM on June 27, 2006


Well excu-u-u-u-u-u-u-use me!
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:06 PM on June 27, 2006


How about a nice punch in the jaw? Oh, excuse me.
posted by tastybrains at 1:14 PM on June 27, 2006


Destined to take its place alongside the Urban Sombrero.
posted by lordrunningclam at 1:17 PM on June 27, 2006


I like in principle the idea of a mechanism that moves people out of one's way on the sidewalk, but this one is much too subtle, and as has been indicated already, practically invites other pedestrians to do something more agressive. The pole should be electrified, and should make a loud warning sound, an even louder crackle upon contact, and should also protect the wearer from rear attacks.

Unfortunately, wearing one of these things in NYC doesn't change the fact that it's full of overcrowded sidewalks. The problem is not the individual people who choose to get out of the way (or not), it's that there are so many of them to begin with.

Well, okay, some of them individually are an even bigger problem, especially if they're trying to hand you a piece of paper.
posted by bingo at 1:19 PM on June 27, 2006


So like... when he gets impaled with that thing, is it 'assault with a deadly weapon' or 'justifiable homicide'?
posted by ninjew at 1:21 PM on June 27, 2006


has anybody, er, flagged this post yet?
posted by jepler at 1:24 PM on June 27, 2006


Excellent use of the 'chindogu' tag. I've never had to Google a mefi tag before.
posted by ninjew at 1:25 PM on June 27, 2006


So if you bought one of these in Beijing would it say nothing at all? (As the residents of Beijing do when they bump into you.)
posted by three blind mice at 2:02 PM on June 27, 2006


The flag should just say "dork."

Wait, I think it already does...
posted by InfidelZombie at 2:08 PM on June 27, 2006


As much as I smile at the dorkiness of the idea, it's an obnoxious product. Try wearing one of these in a US metropolis and see how long you last.
posted by blucevalo at 2:18 PM on June 27, 2006


To say nothing of the annoyance of having a yellow flag waving in the center of your field of vision...
posted by bullitt 5 at 2:25 PM on June 27, 2006


What happens if two "excuse me belt" wearers come face to face from opposite directions?

Would there be some sort of retarded stalemate, or would they have an earth shattering revelation realise what tools they had become, and go home?

If they're going to market the flag needs to have a stars and stripes background.
posted by verisimilitude at 2:41 PM on June 27, 2006


As an expert in passive-aggression, this is too passive and not sufficiently aggressive.

Perhaps if it were combined with a taser?
posted by jewzilla at 3:11 PM on June 27, 2006


Goofy.
posted by Skygazer at 3:19 PM on June 27, 2006


Can we get the flags printed with something other than "Excuse me?" Maybe "Baby onboard?" Or "Wide load?"
posted by FormlessOne at 3:38 PM on June 27, 2006


This is the worst idea I've ever seen, for a product or a joke product this is terrible. God who ever came up with this idea should be forced to play taste the bandsaw.
posted by I Foody at 4:00 PM on June 27, 2006


I find that not making eye contact works in most situations. People headed towards you will notice if you make eye contact, and then it becomes an issue of Alpha versus Beta (especially between two males) of who will move out of the other's way. As such, I keep my vision slightly above general head level (like a tourist gawking at store signs), and walk using peripheral vision, unless in uncertain terrain. If the person thinks you don't even see them, they'll usually step to the side thinking you're just spacing out, and therefore are not really to blame. I live in NYC, and utilize this tactic on a daily basis. Try it... it does work, and you won't have to wear some fucktard "Excuse me!" Flag.... Unfortunately, I can't charge $60 per person who does this... Damn the internets!
posted by Debaser626 at 4:45 PM on June 27, 2006


That whole website is an example of why we shouldn't let "Perfomance Artists" handle web design.
posted by Megafly at 4:49 PM on June 27, 2006


What I Foody said.
posted by nickyskye at 5:33 PM on June 27, 2006


If the Excuse Me belt is sposed to be phallic, that is one penis I would like to see.
posted by DenOfSizer at 6:30 PM on June 27, 2006


Excellent use of the 'chindogu' tag. I've never had to Google a mefi tag before

me neither: "One upon a time Chindogu were useless Japanese inventions, but they are taking the world by storm and now know no nationality."
posted by whatzit at 7:02 PM on June 27, 2006


Destined to take its place alongside the Urban Sombrero.

And the Segway.
posted by scheptech at 10:47 PM on June 27, 2006


Leaving soon from all crowded sidewalks: acceptable behaviour
posted by Serial Killer Slumber Party at 4:18 AM on June 28, 2006


That's a guaranteed ass-kicking. Funny video.
posted by rush at 12:27 PM on June 30, 2006


Destined to take its place alongside the Urban Sombrero.

And the Segway.


And the invisible dog on a leash.

And the "I'm With Stupid (arrow)" T-shirt

And the sneakers that blink as you walk.

And the codpiece.

And the pet rock...
posted by ZachsMind at 2:06 PM on June 30, 2006


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