No, these Chaps are not the kind that is commonly preceded by the adjective "assless".
July 12, 2006 6:24 AM   Subscribe

Advice for the Chap at heart.... "The web site you are about to enter contains words and images that may induce excessive languidity and an increase in levels of panache, leading to an overall rise in self-esteem. So sink into your deepest armchair, pour yourself a gin and tonic, light a cigarillo, and prepare to join the sophisticated world of The Chap." Being a Chap is, apparently, much more than just an excuse to wear a fedora and spats. The proper Chap has a Manifesto and a valet, shops at the Chap Emporium, and possibly practices the gentle art of househusbandry.
posted by orange swan (41 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
Chaps are not people, they are garments for cowboys.
posted by jonmc at 6:25 AM on July 12, 2006

“I find it sad that by not talking about who I sleep with, that makes me mysterious. There was a time when I would have been called a gentleman.” ~ Kevin Spacey

And I suddenly like Kevin Spacey quite a lot.
posted by orange swan at 6:26 AM on July 12, 2006

I would love to have a gentleman's gentleman. No, not that sort--I have one of them already.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 6:42 AM on July 12, 2006

Watch this: Monty Python - Upper Class Twit Of The Year
posted by homodigitalis at 6:43 AM on July 12, 2006

Uh oh, I feel my panache increasing.
*runs to the bathroom*
posted by Plutor at 6:43 AM on July 12, 2006

Huzzah Cheahs ! ! !
posted by mk1gti at 6:45 AM on July 12, 2006

Goddammit, I miss Miguel.
posted by languagehat at 6:56 AM on July 12, 2006

Oh, wait, I spoke too soon! What I should have said was: Calling Miguel... Miguel Cardoso wanted in thread 52942...
posted by languagehat at 6:58 AM on July 12, 2006

I did not know one could walk into a hostelry and order some pussy.



Got it. Never mind.

But I would like to buy a nice fez.
posted by willmize at 7:01 AM on July 12, 2006

I apologize in advance for this long quote, but I must...from the letters section:

I feel moved to write to you in light of a curious encounter I had last Thursday week at five and twenty to four in the afternoon. I had just taken an afternoon stroll to my tobacconist and was in the process of taking myself off to tea when I chanced upon a very unlikely sight. As I waited to cross a busy thoroughfare, I chanced to look out into the traffic, where I aspied a Hackney carriage which was waiting to turn onto the main road. The taxicab's rear windows were wound down with some species of plastic mesh preventing any passage through the opening and there, sitting upon the back seat, was a solitary beagle. The hound in question was sitting politely, facing the front of the taxi with an air of the utmost canine civility and, for a moment, I was gripped by an enormous sense of pride to live in a country that treats man's best friend so well.
But, I am sad to say, my sense of pride quickly turned to rage when I realised the ramifications of this spectacle. Gentlemen: what business has a beagle to be in a taxi? What chance does a hare have against such an unfairly motorised adversary? With such flagrantly unsporting behaviour is it any wonder that field sports are under threat?

Yours etc.
Major The Right Hon. Bentley Collingwood-Hilliam (Disgraced)

posted by poppo at 7:37 AM on July 12, 2006 [1 favorite]

I'm still laughing
posted by poppo at 7:38 AM on July 12, 2006

I haven't started yet. Maybe I need a Chap-Stick in my chaps.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 7:55 AM on July 12, 2006

I believe one of the contributors to Chap Magazine is also a member of the very lovely Handlebar Club! Chaptastic! I curtsy to all of you gents!
posted by mrs.pants at 7:57 AM on July 12, 2006

Top shelf old man! And long overdue, I might add.
posted by Scoo at 8:12 AM on July 12, 2006

I wonder if The Chap was inspired by The Chap-Book ,which was inspired by chapbooks.
posted by GeorgeBickham at 8:22 AM on July 12, 2006

We find ourselves very amused by the gentleman.
posted by dejah420 at 8:46 AM on July 12, 2006

The New Yorker used to publish such letters to British editors under the headline, There'll always be an England. Except they were real.
posted by dhartung at 8:52 AM on July 12, 2006

this is awesome.
posted by Stynxno at 8:53 AM on July 12, 2006

The Chap is on the Internet? I sensed a certain joie de vivre about the old mechanical brain this morn, but dared not hope for such a splendid and civilised advance! Ahmed, bring me a glass of gin and I shall peruse some scandalous French lithographs in celebration.
posted by alasdair at 9:01 AM on July 12, 2006

Sounds like Victorian-Era Superhero
posted by Dipsomaniac at 9:05 AM on July 12, 2006

"In a high-street coffee chain which offers tea on its menu, ask for a pot of Lapsang souchong, a cup and saucer and some toast with Gentleman’s Relish."

Gentleman's Relish?
posted by itchylick at 9:06 AM on July 12, 2006

The mere fact you are unaware of Gentleman's Relish speaks volumes about you sirrah. I only hope that you are either a Lady or you are from one of the new territories.
posted by seanyboy at 9:15 AM on July 12, 2006

Gentlemen's Relish is anchovy paste. Not something exclusive to Chaps, however. Blokes like it too. Or at least mine does.
posted by idest at 9:17 AM on July 12, 2006

Dammit, I even previewed to see if anyone had gotten there FIRST, seanyboy!
posted by idest at 9:18 AM on July 12, 2006

Y'all might like Lord Whimsy too.
posted by sciurus at 9:26 AM on July 12, 2006

Indeed. From Lord Whimsy:


If it weren't for the first and last, I'd have thought he was referring to MetaFilter.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 9:48 AM on July 12, 2006

That is positively delightful. Freshens the old heart a nudge.
posted by redsparkler at 9:51 AM on July 12, 2006

I certainly do like Patum Peperium. And I've been an avid reader of The Chap for a long time. Dashed shame to have the old rag exposed to the great unwashed here at MetaFilter, mind. Not quite the thing at all. Poor show.
posted by Decani at 9:52 AM on July 12, 2006

Patum Peperium is one of my vices - I ignore the fact that it's target audience is 80 year old Tufton Bufton's in St James's gentlemen's clubs, it's great on toast or muffins.

Unfortunately I can't make it to the Chap Olympics...
posted by greycap at 10:01 AM on July 12, 2006

Oops, awful apostrophe use there - that should be its and Tufton Buftons.
posted by greycap at 10:02 AM on July 12, 2006

Offer “gentlemen of the road” (hobos) not money – which they might spend on food – but a nip of cognac from your hip flask.

This almost made me fall out of my chair.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 10:15 AM on July 12, 2006

Nice post, old bean!

Is there a out there?
posted by jason's_planet at 12:28 PM on July 12, 2006

Chaps are not people, they are garments for cowboys.

With respect, sir, it appears that supposition was fully put paid to by the exhibitionist antics of a certain 'Christina Aguilera' within (in the most sympathetic of ironies) a pit full of the worst kind of mud. However, feel free to cling to your cherished colonial notions. They are, after all, most adorable.
posted by Sparx at 3:03 PM on July 12, 2006

My chapette and I went to this marvellous place tonight. It was sheer chap heaven.
posted by Decani at 7:04 PM on July 12, 2006

The Williamsburg location, not the East Village. So much more chapesque.
posted by Decani at 7:05 PM on July 12, 2006

Double post, sort of.
posted by Mocata at 1:47 AM on July 13, 2006

The band are really very good as well (also on MySpace) (Lo-fi/punk/electronica, rather intense live, but inspired by the magazine). Yeah, yeah my favourite band sucks etc.
posted by infobomb at 2:25 AM on July 13, 2006

I found that one, Mocata, but since there are no comments at all in that thrad and three out of its four links are dead and the other one just leads to a map, I figured there was no way of even knowing what that post was talking about.
posted by orange swan at 6:35 AM on July 13, 2006

Oh sure, totally fair enough.
posted by Mocata at 10:07 AM on July 13, 2006

The Chap Olympics pictures are now available thanks to the electric services of the British Broadcasting Corporation.
posted by imperium at 4:37 AM on July 14, 2006

Oh God, that looks hilarious. It is now my ambition to enter the chap olympiad. How sad is that?
posted by Decani at 1:10 AM on July 16, 2006

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