I'm the Internet. You're the Internet.
August 1, 2006 4:38 PM   Subscribe

Wow. Wowie wow wow. Christ.

posted by cortex at 4:43 PM on August 1, 2006

I don't... I'm... jesus.

Who's that first lady? She's the only one I don't recognize.
posted by borkingchikapa at 4:47 PM on August 1, 2006

She's the gem sweater lady.
posted by bob sarabia at 4:50 PM on August 1, 2006

Wow, that was truly awful. The Internet is doomed for sure.
posted by patr1ck at 4:50 PM on August 1, 2006

I had no idea who the first person was. "Great," I think when I'm watching this, "I'm not going to recognize any of these people."

Man, was I wrong.

This is awesome.
posted by Cyrano at 4:50 PM on August 1, 2006

I guess this is a better link
posted by bob sarabia at 4:51 PM on August 1, 2006

She's the sweater lady.

That video rules in so many ways.
posted by mathowie at 4:53 PM on August 1, 2006

As much as i (kinda) enjoyed the video and support the cause, I'm afraid these were the wrong person to go send pleading the case to the suits.

Kinda like the Gay Pride Parade dilemma, you know.
posted by sourwookie at 4:54 PM on August 1, 2006

posted by sourwookie at 4:55 PM on August 1, 2006

You can't get to her site thru the Gem Sweater Girl link above. Here it is.
posted by wsg at 4:59 PM on August 1, 2006

oh.. man..
posted by jimmy at 5:13 PM on August 1, 2006


When Tron Guy did his dramatic light-up and entrance, I had to stifle a weep of joy. I ♥ the Internet.
posted by symphonik at 5:50 PM on August 1, 2006

Exactly when do any celebs appear on that video?
posted by wfc123 at 5:56 PM on August 1, 2006

I was pleasantly surprised: it wasn't unbearable, and it featured folks who can rightly be called e-celebrities. The production values were much higher than I expected, and as a whole, the thing sucked a lot less than its premise.
posted by frecklefaerie at 6:10 PM on August 1, 2006

What, was Mahir busy?
posted by fidgets at 6:12 PM on August 1, 2006

I haven't clicked on the video, but I will say this:

If dooce.com girl or Cory Doctorow are in it, then I hope the government sells the internet to Verizon. I hope Verizon shuts the web down, replaces it with paper cups connected by string and requries you to prefix every call with "Klondike 5...".

Such is my loathing.
posted by Pastabagel at 6:14 PM on August 1, 2006 [2 favorites]

A shame they couldn't get Jenni to cameo.
posted by cortex at 6:16 PM on August 1, 2006

I was ambivalent till I saw the kitten playing guitar.
posted by chrissyboy at 6:20 PM on August 1, 2006

It had "Tron Guy"!! call your congressman or woman and tell them to support "Tron Guy"
posted by Megafly at 6:23 PM on August 1, 2006

Looks like some folks trying a last hope grap to hang on to their 15 minutes...
posted by Eekacat at 6:28 PM on August 1, 2006

On the plus side, I support the ability of people like Tron Guy and Peter Pan Man to get out there and let their freak flags fly. But on the minus side, I have that song stuck in my head!
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:45 PM on August 1, 2006

Yeah if that's the internet, I'd really like it to go away. Maybe not what they intended?
posted by xmutex at 7:07 PM on August 1, 2006

I simply cannot see the Tron Guy having that good a sense of humor about himself ...

Wasn't he a guest presenter on an American chat show (possibly Conan)? I'm sure I remember him doing an anti Michael Moore segment on something.
posted by chrissyboy at 7:23 PM on August 1, 2006

Gem Sweater Girl is Leslie Hall, and she is mighty. And I too wept with joy... especially when the Spongemonkeys made a cameo. I am so cool that I embedded this video on my Myspace page. No lie.
posted by kimdog at 7:32 PM on August 1, 2006

So it turns out, the Internet is a dump truck.
posted by signal at 7:40 PM on August 1, 2006

"Exactly when do any celebs appear on that video?"

I think I recognized that dancing baby.

That song was effin' stupid. If these people are actually net celebs, they'd know that corporations have been around on the net since before dot com. For cryin' out loud this is nothing new. It's a natural progression. When money feeds somewhere and then the well starts to run dry this is what happens. Am I the only one who saw Deadwood on DVD?

Just what constitutes "Net Celebrity" anyway? Who thought this shit up? I mean hell I thought Matt was a Net Celebrity. Or Craig. Or.. uhm... maybe Will..? Whoever put theforce.net together should be a net celeb don't you think? I know this guy is a ShorDurPerSav to some people. Then there's this girl who's become a celebrity to a small fraction of a small fraction of television enthusiasts. As has this girl. Should celebrity be objective or subjective? I mean, this guy is a celebrity to somebody isn't he? And the fact that Emily is now a redhead should prove important to someone, even if she never makes it on page six of The Star. Would Drudge count? Or is he a has been? a whatever happened to?

The people behind wikipedia, the people who invent the memes other people use, the people who make flash games or silly web based distractions that make us giggle and surf on, those are the true celebrities aren't they? Or is it that they can't be celebrities because in so many cases they're faceless and anonymous? Most of the time we don't know who brings us the things we enjoy about the Web.

We take the true Net Celebs for granted. I'd be upset that I never attained true Net Celebrity, but so far doesn't look like there's much of a paycheck in it. Then again, that tron costume couldn't have been cheap.
posted by ZachsMind at 8:10 PM on August 1, 2006 [1 favorite]

Where was nunna guy and dancing Matt? Could we not get some singing Ze Frank so the rest of us don't have to?
posted by c:\awesome at 8:10 PM on August 1, 2006

Whatever happened to that guy who spent a year trapped inside a house with the cameras on and you could watch him do infomercials sixteen hours a day but for some reason the cameras were off while he was sleeping? net guy..? something?

Can there actually BE net celebrities? This is gonna keep me up tonight trying to contemplate the quandary here, I just know it.
posted by ZachsMind at 8:35 PM on August 1, 2006

No ceiling cat, badgers, snakes on planes, or O RLY owls. Those are the real net celebs.
posted by ninjew at 8:45 PM on August 1, 2006

wow Peter Pan has a much deeper voice than my nightmares depicted

This is really cool though, although sad in a way, that I know these dudes over 99% of celebrities in People.
posted by evilelvis at 9:44 PM on August 1, 2006

We take the true Net Celebs for granted.

I think you may be misapprehending what "celebrity" means, in American culture: a celebrity is somehow who is, generally speaking, famous for reasons other than substantial functional merit.

In the Real World, celebrities are actors, pop singers, television personalities. Tim Berners-Lee is not a celebrity, and neither is Dean Kamen (Segway hype cycle aside) nor Andrew Wiles or any of a thousand other important people doing useful, meaningful, fame-worthy work.

So on the Internet, yes. Tron guy. Sweater girl Leslie Hall. Mahir. These are the celebrities. Funny-or-not people famous for their visible personalities more than the merit of what they offer to the world. Jimmy Wales' shop? The w3c folks? Apache hackers? Not celebrities. Just people doing intersting and useful work that you might—might—know them for.
posted by cortex at 11:50 PM on August 1, 2006

Net celebs are JPG's, not people.
posted by sourwookie at 12:23 AM on August 2, 2006

I agree. Notoriety, fame, and celebrity are one in the same.
posted by nonmyopicdave at 12:34 AM on August 2, 2006

At first I was happy that "Hey! I know who that is!"

Then I was sad with the realization that somewhere in my brain there is a cluster of neurons currently occupied with the knowledge of motherfucking "Fat Sweater Girl," "Arrested Development Peter Pan Guy," "Nutsack Cleavage Tron Guy," "Subservient Chicken," et al.

Then I was ashamed thinking about the DARPA geniuses in the 60's and their dreams of a network to share vital information, and what we did to those dreams.

And now I'm just sort of embarrassed that I'm posting on the fucking Internet about my varying emotional states while watching this stupid movie.

Moments of clarity really suck sometimes.
posted by quite unimportant at 1:16 AM on August 2, 2006 [3 favorites]

@ZachsMind: I think the idea behind this video (which I dearly, dearly love) is that none of this people wold have risen to their level of fame (or infamy) if it had not been for net neutrality. Using the model the telcos want to impose, as soon as those people went beyond a certain level of fame their pages would have been throttled unless they paid to become accessible again. This is the future we should fear: no more oddballs and accidentally famous people but planned (and paid for), made-up "stars" that just happen to endorse certain products / corporations / whatever. This independent wackiness would be a thing of the past, since none of those "celebrities" from the video would have paid for their status.
posted by PontifexPrimus at 4:38 AM on August 2, 2006

Ask a Ninja did his own 2-line song about the subject, they could've invited him to the party...
posted by flameproof at 6:24 AM on August 2, 2006

This song made me sick.

Also made me happy.

I was only sad enough to recognise Tron Guy and the 2 Japanese Backstreet Boys and the dancing baby.

Which means, despite a consistant belief otherwise - I do infact have a life.

(though a bit of me wishes I caught the wave of the other celebs featured)

(and for me that video should have had the Star Wars kid and Hurra Torpedo in it)

(or just been Hurra Torpedo doing Total Eclipse of the Heart)

~goes to watch Hurra Torpedo...
posted by 13twelve at 7:10 AM on August 2, 2006

It works really well without audio. That's good video.
posted by cavalier at 7:29 AM on August 2, 2006

No goetse?? Where's my incentive?
posted by dgaicun at 8:52 AM on August 2, 2006

"So on the Internet, yes. Tron guy. Sweater girl Leslie Hall. Mahir. These are the celebrities. "

Not my celebrities. I refuse to claim them. Maybe I do have an inferior definition firing my neurons when it comes to the "C" word. I'll stick with my inferior definition of celebrity.

My top four hundred doesn't include Red Hot Chili Peppers, Tool, or Korn. Just as Kristy, Thomas, Annette, Kevin, and Jenny are some of my favorite rock stars, the cast of MeFi are my celebrities long before anyone on that video qualifies.
posted by ZachsMind at 7:08 PM on August 2, 2006

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