Tonight - The Bionic Man vs Bigfoot

September 1, 2006 4:40 PM

Even though there's no listing for this cliche in the Shark Jumping database, inevitably in every superhero TV show of the 1970s, the hero would face (and defeat) a creature with powers similar to (and usually greater) than their own. Like when Steve Austin battled the SEVEN million dollar man (or when he fought bigfoot). Or when the incredible hulk fought the incredibler hulk. Or when the Knight Industries Two Thousand did battle with its prototype, KARR.God bless YouTube for collecting these precious moments
posted by jonson (65 comments total)

I would refer to these encounters as "great." Oftentimes I've wondered what I would do if I encountered my superior clone, but I think we'd just end up playing Co-Op video games, baking cakes, and trying to score with cute girls. He could give me tips.
posted by ®@ at 4:43 PM on September 1, 2006 [1 favorite]

Finally, YouTube links that don't suck. Thanks!
posted by dbiedny at 4:49 PM on September 1, 2006

The trouble with YouTube-only posts is that I read very fast but I watch videos at the regular speed -- so a video-only link is equivalently consumptive to a dozen other MeFi posts for me.
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 4:50 PM on September 1, 2006 [1 favorite]

My wife SWEARS that Wonder Woman (Linda Carter) once had to fight ANOTHER Amazon from her home island in one of the episodes, but I couldn't find any proof of that. Also, the miserable live action Spider Man series didn't seem to feature any Spider Man vs even more Spidery Man episodes, but that could be because it was cancelled after like five weeks.
posted by jonson at 4:53 PM on September 1, 2006

haha, is every action shot in the six million dollar man in slowmo?
posted by delmoi at 4:54 PM on September 1, 2006

And yes, nitpickers, I realize Knight Rider wasn't a "superhero show", technically, any more than it was "of the 1970s".
posted by jonson at 4:54 PM on September 1, 2006

This is where I remind you people that the Japanese Spider-Man show rules the roost. He has a GIANT ROBOT and a SUPER CAR and shouts "SPIDER-STRING!" and "SPIDER-WEB!"
posted by beaucoupkevin at 5:01 PM on September 1, 2006

Delmoi, yes, that was the special effect in SMDM signifying "super strength in use."
posted by localroger at 5:09 PM on September 1, 2006

but I watch videos at the regular speed
Doesn't everybody?
posted by Joeforking at 5:15 PM on September 1, 2006

My wife SWEARS that Wonder Woman (Linda Carter) once had to fight ANOTHER Amazon from her home island in one of the episodes, but I couldn't find any proof of that.

The pilot episode had a disguised Wonder Woman fighting other Amazons for the right to leave the island and represent all the other Amazons to the global populace.
posted by frogan at 5:26 PM on September 1, 2006

Also, the miserable live action Spider Man series didn't seem to feature any Spider Man vs even more Spidery Man episodes, but that could be because it was cancelled after like five weeks.

According to Wikipedia, that show had 14 episodes and the fifth episode was "Night of the Clones", which of course, featured an evil Spider-Man clone.
posted by faster than a speeding bulette at 5:34 PM on September 1, 2006

I remember KARR. I was in first grade, and the day after that episode had shown on channel 7, in homeroom, my classmates were animatedly talking about "Good KITT" and "Bad KITT" having a fight, and I told them, "The bad one was named KARR" but they went right on referring to KARR as "Bad KITT." My attempts to correct them got louder and louder, when suddenly the teacher stood up and yelled at me, "PAULO YOU ARE SCREAMING." I was called to the desk for a stern talking-to, after which I returned to my seat while the conversation started up again. They went right on calling him "Bad KITT." Idiots.
posted by brownpau at 5:45 PM on September 1, 2006 [1 favorite]

Brilliant work, faster than a speeding bulette. Et, voila, YouTube FTW.
posted by jonson at 5:46 PM on September 1, 2006

When does MeFi jump the shark?
posted by caddis at 5:56 PM on September 1, 2006

Even though there's no listing for this cliche in the Shark Jumping database,

Jumping through KARR?

Did you see that shit? KITT just totally jumped right the fuck through KARR like Bruce Lee finger-punching a soggy kleenex. WTF!?

The Six Million Dollar Man vs. Bigfoot episode is pure therapy, as it was one of the seminal WTF moments of the earliest TV memories of my childhood. I wasn't so much as traumatized by Bigfoot or Austin but more about how just utterly surreal and bad the whole episode and show was.
posted by loquacious at 5:57 PM on September 1, 2006

jonson - that clip is brilliant, it shows both why Venom is a superior superior and why it's a Good Thing™ that they gave him non-mechanical web shooters in the movie.

Also, what's up with the compression on that incredibler hulk clip? It looks like it's being streamed over a 2400 baud modem.
posted by revgeorge at 6:04 PM on September 1, 2006

Doppelgangers, the lot of you!
posted by furtive at 6:05 PM on September 1, 2006

Loquacious - I was concerned about that too, but it turns out there was a perfectly scientific reason why KITT could jump through KARR. See, KARR's unbreakable polymer coating had been eroded by years of exposure to sea water (KARR had been buried on the beach for a long while immediately prior to this episode), only KARR didn't know of the effects, while KITT (and Michael) did.
posted by jonson at 6:05 PM on September 1, 2006

I kinda like how Bad Kitt has the voice of poor man's Vincent Price.
posted by dhammond at 6:06 PM on September 1, 2006

Wasn't there an episode where the $6MdM and Sasquatch collaborated on a project? I distinctly recall something being thrown into an active volcano.
posted by vito90 at 6:07 PM on September 1, 2006

I can't find the Greatest American Hero fighting Andre the Giant. (but man, they flew high in this slick).
Is it just me or is the Six Million Dollar man tragically early for it's time (pre-cyberpunk)?
posted by Smedleyman at 6:09 PM on September 1, 2006

These videos are all sorts of awesome. But, um, what would a rich man's Vincent Price sound like?
posted by Nelson at 6:11 PM on September 1, 2006

BIZARRO! BIZARRO! BIZARRO!
posted by furtive at 6:11 PM on September 1, 2006 [1 favorite]

/my superior clone already has drawn a bead on me from 1000 yards out. Which is why I've set the claymores there.
posted by Smedleyman at 6:11 PM on September 1, 2006

Vito - you're referring to what has to be the greatest five minutes & two seconds of footage ever captured on film, the Return of the Bionic Woman. Featuring a mustachioed Lee Majors, super hot Lindsey Wagner AND the most ridiculous Jew-Fro'd Bigfoot in Sasquatch history.
posted by jonson at 6:12 PM on September 1, 2006

Sorry, make that "The Return of BIGFOOT", not The Return of the Bionic Woman.
posted by jonson at 6:18 PM on September 1, 2006

Upon reading this post I imediately rememberd my supreme disappoinment when I was a kid with Superman IV where...

"Lex Luther steals a hair of Superman's head from a museum and uses it to create Nuclear Man, an android that gets energy from the Sun. His purpose of course is to use him as a weapon to kill Superman, so that Louther will be free to realize his criminal plans." <-from imdb
posted by pwb503 at 6:22 PM on September 1, 2006

It always seemed to me that every super-hero cartoon or live-action TV show (at least in the 80s) had to have one really bad episode featuring a rock band that can hypnotize their audience to do terrible things. It's like a requirement.
posted by oraknabo at 6:56 PM on September 1, 2006

ATTACK, SASQUATCH!

Good god, that was the best thing that I've ever seen.
posted by octothorpe at 7:01 PM on September 1, 2006

Meet Airwolf's evil twin: REDWOLF! Will Hawke finally meet his end within the fiery gaze of Redwolf's laser cannons?
posted by Iridic at 7:25 PM on September 1, 2006

Featuring a mustachioed Lee Majors, super hot Lindsey Wagner AND the most ridiculous Jew-Fro'd Bigfoot in Sasquatch history.

Now, am I totally addled by age, or do I recall this as a special extended two hours of Six Million Dollar Man, then continued with a two-hour Bionic Woman a night or two later?
posted by hangashore at 7:29 PM on September 1, 2006

what museum keeps Superman's hair?
posted by Busithoth at 7:30 PM on September 1, 2006

Kirk vs. Picard — there's no school like the old school.
posted by cenoxo at 7:36 PM on September 1, 2006 [1 favorite]

how the fuck did I never hear of Redwolf before tonight?
okay, [this is good]
posted by Busithoth at 7:36 PM on September 1, 2006

Here's the great thing:

Knight Rider aged badly.

Airwolf? Airwolf remains totally awesome.

Speaking of Jumping the Shark...holy crap, it's actually so much worse than I ever imagined.
posted by effugas at 7:39 PM on September 1, 2006

Wow, jonson, that was... uh... something.

My favorite part was the 3-team throw of the guy in the yellow suit. Bionic Woman gives him some air, Lee Majors keeps him giong, and Sasquatch gives him that final acceleration for the win!
posted by Stauf at 7:43 PM on September 1, 2006

It's interesting, hearing folks rant about how awful the Sasquatch episode was... I loved that one as a kid, it was one of my favorite Six Million Dollar Man shows. I'm kind of afraid to look now!
posted by Malor at 7:43 PM on September 1, 2006

Iridic - god bless you!
posted by jonson at 7:43 PM on September 1, 2006

A word of advice to $7M dude.

There's an AXE on the wall. You're evil. Why are you punching???
posted by bigbigdog at 8:18 PM on September 1, 2006

Thank you, bigbigdog. The whole time I was saying "Get that fucking axe already!" Then what did he do? Picked up the fire extinguisher next to the axe!
posted by bob sarabia at 8:28 PM on September 1, 2006

I mean, he's standing right next to the axe!!!

!!!
posted by dirigibleman at 8:46 PM on September 1, 2006

Man, jonson/metafilter crew, get outta my head - I was just blathering on to my wife about watching Six Million Dollar Man as a kid this morning - and blammo - all my efforts to remember to look up Sasquatch/6MMann youtube vids comes back as Metafilter karma - just wow ...
posted by mctsonic at 8:53 PM on September 1, 2006

and I think I know why my WW2 vet Grandpa did not like the 6MMan - the friggin falls sound like incoming artillery fire - sheesh! I remember my distinct disappointment at Universal Studios California in 77 when I found out all those boulders and logs were just foam ...
posted by mctsonic at 8:55 PM on September 1, 2006

mctsonic - do you remember being made incredibly dizzy by the fake avalance/rotating tunnel @ Universal Studios? That thing really messed with my head.
posted by jonson at 9:05 PM on September 1, 2006

Oh dear, I didn't realise quite how terrible the shows were that I watched as a kid. :-)
posted by -harlequin- at 9:25 PM on September 1, 2006

OK, that Star Trek mashup was lame. There's no way such a battle would be so one sided [/suckered in]
posted by Popular Ethics at 9:33 PM on September 1, 2006

The premise was always that the evil "other" was the dark side of the hero, and had full knowledge of the hero's weaknesseses (usually an abundance of moral compunction inadequate to being a real badass). I always bought thaat -- me minus whatever moral compass i have (ha) makes super-evil-me, on paper a far superior version of self. Of course, in the end, right always wins out because of some strategic advantage conferred by the moral sensibility of the hero and unforeseen by the evil other.

The did it with Lt. Cmdr. Data and his prototype on Star Trek/Next Generation, too. Don't ask me how I know. The device is as old as fiction, probably as old as narrative itself.
posted by fourcheesemac at 9:53 PM on September 1, 2006

May I present Blue Thunder - the TV series. Starring Dana Carvey, Bubba Smith and Dick Butkus.

...and Airwolf vs. Blue Thunder.
posted by gottabefunky at 10:36 PM on September 1, 2006 [1 favorite]

Flat Daddy vs. Flat Decider
posted by homunculus at 11:17 PM on September 1, 2006

KITT and Michael vs. Goliath and Garth (YourEvilTwinTube)
posted by LinusMines at 11:56 PM on September 1, 2006

*mockingly* "I am not less perfect than Lore."
posted by adipocere at 12:04 AM on September 2, 2006

OHHHH... okay, I had never seen that Bionic Man/Sasquatch hookup before (or I had supressed the memory). Now the Venture Bros episode where Steve Austen and Sasquatch are gay lovers makes more sense...
posted by Dunwitty at 12:12 AM on September 2, 2006

effugas - that clip makes it all worth it. Who knew he jumps the shark in slow motion?

Re: Superman, does this count?
posted by criticalbill at 3:07 AM on September 2, 2006

fourcheesemac The device is as old as fiction, probably as old as narrative itself.

Ooh, good point. But can we think of any examples? I've got Holmes versus Moriarty and Banquo versus Macbeth (cited in Christopher Booker's THE SEVEN BASIC PLOTS) but both are surely examples of a more general situation (hero versus another figure who has the hero's characteristics but without their goodness). What examples do we have of a hero fighting an explicit copy of themselves that lacks their good qualities?
posted by alasdair at 3:44 AM on September 2, 2006

Awesome.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:19 AM on September 2, 2006

What examples do we have of a hero fighting an explicit copy of themselves that lacks their good qualities?

Italo Calvino's "Cloven Viscount" comes to my mind. Humankind's first two siblings, according to the Bible, are a more obvious reference...
posted by Skeptic at 6:25 AM on September 2, 2006

Wait wait wait...why does Sasquatch get the bionic noise when he picks up the boulder at 1:51? Also, why are the bad guys dressed like the Partridge Family? And I love how in the fight at the end Sasquatch runs in slow motion even when he's in real time. Also, Sasquatch looks like Ron Jeremy.

This thread is possibly the best use of YouTube and MetaFilter the web has ever seen.
posted by biscotti at 8:11 AM on September 2, 2006

Tragically, while filming this clip they blew up the sets of MASH, Little House on the Prairie and The Dukes of Hazzard.
posted by Flashman at 8:23 AM on September 2, 2006

there's a guy that comes in every once in a while, red hair, glasses, really tall, to talk about when Knight Rider and Airwolf! DVD sets are slated for release. he'd geekgasm if I told him I sat in KITT as a kid or if a new season was coming out soon or something---face flushed, knees involuntarily bending, sputtering emphatically, "heh *snort* uh, heh, THAT'S SO AWESOME!"

this Saturday morning I know how he feels. AWESOME!
posted by carsonb at 10:22 AM on September 2, 2006

What examples do we have of a hero fighting an explicit copy of themselves that lacks their good qualities?

In the Epic of Gilgamesh, the gods created a man named Enkidu to be the nemesis of Gilgamesh. Enkidu was a match for Gilgamesh in strength, but he was wild and anarchic in opposition to Gilgamesh's authoritarian, civilized ways. Just as Steve Austin befriended the Sasquatch, Gilgamesh also eventually won Enkidu over to the side of law and order.
posted by Iridic at 10:24 AM on September 2, 2006

If only Beowulf & Grendel could have put aside their differences...
posted by jonson at 10:32 AM on September 2, 2006

Wait wait wait...why does Sasquatch get the bionic noise when he picks up the boulder at 1:51?

Because, duh, Bigfoot is actually a bionic robot created by aliens, of course.
posted by straight at 5:37 PM on September 2, 2006

Even as kids my friends and I knew Knight Rider was cheesy. Michael's car is KITT, then he fights KARR, then Goliath? We named him TRUKK. And there was also BOATT, and HELIKKOPTR and BIKKE
posted by Pastabagel at 8:03 PM on September 2, 2006

Because, duh, Bigfoot is actually a bionic robot created by aliens, of course.

*hangs head in shame* Of course. I'll return my geek card.
posted by biscotti at 10:00 PM on September 2, 2006

Michael's car is KITT, then he fights KARR, then Goliath? We named him TRUKK. And there was also BOATT, and HELIKKOPTR and BIKKE

Don't forget TRUKKK and HELIKKKOPTR, robotic vehicles complete with robo-hood.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:23 PM on September 2, 2006