Russian urine against a scalpel of the doctor!
September 6, 2006 6:29 AM   Subscribe

Something's wrong here. Why is Russian urine better?
According to our agenda, the whole world should be standing in long lines just to get a descent gargling's worth of American urine.
posted by Balisong at 6:43 AM on September 6, 2006

Why is Russian urine better?
All that vodka perhaps?
posted by chillmost at 6:47 AM on September 6, 2006

So the porn people is right !
posted by elpapacito at 6:48 AM on September 6, 2006

You're taking the piss!!
posted by Pendragon at 6:54 AM on September 6, 2006

[scene change: Edmund is passed out or sleeping at the galley table. A knock comes at the door]

Edmund: Enter. [Baldrick and Percy come in, carrying bottles. Edmund sits up and we see he that his face is tired and drawn] So soon?

Percy: You said today. [They set the bottles on the table]

Edmund: Yes, well, I'm not feeling very thirsty at the moment. I had an egg-cup full of stagnant water three weeks ago... Oh all right, come on, let's get on with it. [He stands up]

Baldrick: Should we drink each other's or stick to our own?

Edmund: Is Captain Rum joining us for this bring-a-sample party, or is he going to sit this one out?

Percy: Oh no, he's been swigging his for ages. He says he likes it. Actually, come to think of it, he started before the water ran out.

Edmund: Oh, God. [Resigned] Well, let's get on with it.

[Caption appears, "Ten Minutes Later" Then, we see the three of them with their backs to the camera and their hands apparently in front of them]

Edmund: It's always the same, isn't it; you get all keyed up and then you can't go.
posted by GuyZero at 6:56 AM on September 6, 2006

My grandma was Russian, and she always claimed that you should 'pee in the shower' to prevent athletes food.

This is also the same woman who put Vicks up her nose for congestion among MANY other home cures.

In her defense, she survived 26 years of breast cancer that doctors said would kill her in 6 months. So, take that into consideration I guess.
posted by gregschoen at 7:10 AM on September 6, 2006

Sing the song?

Everybody talkin 'bout pistols, gats is borin / He came with a new topic to flip you, vats of urine / All pro, check the stats, his style scorin / While you at it, double check that Cristal you're pourin / Born of the pleads that needs a P in geniuses / Broads don't see it, since they don't got these, conveniences / Thank God she's not a ho / In the studio when you gotta go, you gotta go / Before you flow, make sure you practice or you losin / You don't wanna miss and let the cactus get to oozin / If any contestant splash, he's disqualified / Even if one drip should slide down the bottle side / Put a bum in a even better pickle / Reality show, how far would you go, to get a nickel? / ... let alone a buck / Listen by the window, you can hear him moanin - yuck! / Remember, tomorrow is garbage day / It's not the kind of stuff you want to save and harbor away / Once it gets ripened and fermented / It takes on a bouquet that I should say is naturally scented / Tempted by a empty can of Guinness / Or waitin until we get there, say two or three minutes / Yeah, when it's fresh, it's sterile / Some say digestible, even edible / If you was stranded out to sea, alone and in trouble / Survive dehyrdation, guzzle your own cup full / Some day, you may even show your son how to use it to make potassium nitrate for gunpowder / Funded by friends of ours who's generous / Join us next time when we discuss disgusting enemas
posted by ND¢ at 7:13 AM on September 6, 2006

Don't forget about this.
posted by owhydididoit at 7:50 AM on September 6, 2006

unSane, urinesane.
posted by CynicalKnight at 9:20 AM on September 6, 2006

thanks, this is a wonderful site..
posted by hard rain at 11:54 AM on September 6, 2006

If all you have to cure your sickness is pee, then urine trouble.
posted by TwelveTwo at 1:31 PM on September 6, 2006

First bottled water, now this. Soon, only the rich will be taking golden showers.
posted by TwelveTwo at 1:31 PM on September 6, 2006

Russian capitalism is really something.
posted by TwelveTwo at 1:32 PM on September 6, 2006

I'm impressed by their salesmanship. They can sell piss and call it piss, all we can do is sell piss and call it beer.
posted by TwelveTwo at 1:33 PM on September 6, 2006

Ok, now I'm tapped out.
posted by TwelveTwo at 1:33 PM on September 6, 2006

I'm surprised there's been no 'In Soviet Russia...' comments in this thread.
posted by gregschoen at 3:18 PM on September 6, 2006

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