"Chicken, the deadly white meat."
February 1, 2001 9:51 AM   Subscribe

"Chicken, the deadly white meat." An 8-year-old boy was suspended from school for 3 days after pointing a breaded chicken finger at a teacher and saying, ``Pow, pow, pow.''
... What else do I have to say?
posted by Hackworth (16 comments total)
"back off... or I'll pop a capon in your ass"
posted by ericost at 10:01 AM on February 1, 2001

What bothers me is the thought of chickens having fingers.
And then someone decided to bread these mutant fingers. And serve them to schoolchildren. The Horror!


posted by salsamander at 10:06 AM on February 1, 2001

Hey suspendin' 'em is what you have to do when you can't do what's really necessary: a smack upside the head for being a rude little ratbastard...
posted by DiplomaticImmunity at 10:10 AM on February 1, 2001

I can not recall a single day of first through third grade that recess was not spent running around playing guns with sticks, fingers or just mimed guns. Generally the theme was Star Wars, but cowboys and indians were topics of interest too.

Our teachers would actually let us dig holes to bury our stick gun, so the forth graders would not find them.
posted by DragonBoy at 10:18 AM on February 1, 2001

That was before kids started bringing guns to school.....and the media and TV started showing and talking about kids with guns....thus more and more kids see guns in school as an everyday and possible more normal than not activity. Look out for the Viscous Circle!
posted by bkdelong at 11:24 AM on February 1, 2001

Damn it... when will we ever learn -- we need to mandate chicken finger locks before more innocent children die!
posted by mikewas at 11:42 AM on February 1, 2001

is a viscous circle one that runs really, really slowly?
posted by DiplomaticImmunity at 11:51 AM on February 1, 2001

I scoff at your chciken finger. Feel the sting of my DethChicken!
posted by shinybeast at 12:11 PM on February 1, 2001

He must have learned that at the NRA restaurant...

Seriously, you can't have an imagination anymore, listen to music you want, or seek freely anymore. We are trying to protect our freedoms by denying the very freedoms we are trying to preserve. Does anyone else see the problem here?
posted by Bag Man at 12:40 PM on February 1, 2001

Uh, exactly what freedoms are they attempting to protect here?

posted by sonofsamiam at 1:02 PM on February 1, 2001

Wow, I am suddenly all too aware how much things have changed in just the six years since I was in 5th grade running around the schoolyard with my friend playing "Star Wars" with my officially licensed lightsaber and light-up "blasters". If we ever did that in this day and age... well, I'd probably be in prison. Scary.
posted by elf_baby at 1:05 PM on February 1, 2001

Just a few weeks ago a friend of mine's ten year old son received a one day suspention for "shooting" some teachers with his finger. He was pretending they were space aliens. They have a zero tolerence policy in a region which never has had any real incidents of gun-school violence.

From the article: "It's not the object in the hand, it's the thought in the mind."

Thoughtcrime, anyone?

posted by D.C. at 2:40 PM on February 1, 2001

If I were a parent and this happened to my kid I would, if I had the means, switch my kid to a private school and sue the other school. I hate frivolous lawsuits but I think kids are getting a worse and worse rap as time goes on.
posted by amanda at 4:01 PM on February 1, 2001

Whoops! I didn't realize this was in Jonesboro. I imagine that everyone there is a little (pardon the pun) gunshy, to say the least.
posted by amanda at 4:04 PM on February 1, 2001

I agree with DiplomaticImmunity. Pointing a stick of chicken at a teacher is rude and should be punished accordingly. Writing something inane like "I will not make rude gestures during lunch," 100 times on the board, Bart Simpson-style and missing recess would be appropriate.

A three day suspension is completely unwarranted. It's also a bit of a reward, for an 8 year old.
posted by Loudmax at 4:28 AM on February 2, 2001

In middle school, I shot my principal in the ass with a rubber band. She let me off the hook with a slap on the wrist. These days, they'd probably have me up on assault charges.
posted by ratbastard at 12:29 PM on February 1, 2002

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