Hi! When I was pregnant, I gorged myself until I doubled my body weight.
November 30, 2006 7:48 AM   Subscribe

"Hi! When I was pregnant, I gorged myself until I doubled my body weight. Now, my body is covered in disgusting rolls of fat and I have so many stretch marks it looks like someone took a magic marker and scribbled on me. But that’s all just part of motherhood, right? Pregnancy does that to everyone, doesn’t it?" Weight gain, pregnancy, gluttony, and The Shape of a Mother (discussed previously).
posted by rsanheim (25 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: ugly controversial site certain to start a flamewar



 
I believe this response is referring to the post above, though its not named or linked.

I post this as someone who is constantly impressed and proud of my wife, as she is five months along with our second and exercising regularily and eating well. If she craves a double cheeseburger or a sundae she'll have it, but she balances it out over time with smart choices. (now if only I could do the same...)
posted by rsanheim at 7:54 AM on November 30, 2006


would even argue that gaining a freakishly large amount of weight during your pregnancy is a glaring omen that you’re not ready to be a parent. Parenthood is about setting a good example.

That's a bit extreme. I mean, being fat doesn't make you a bad parent, right?

People seem to be brimming with "X makes you a bad parent" condemnation, when many of those things have nothing to do with parenting. It's a little idiotic.

Still, she does have a point, you don't really need to get that fat while you're pregnant, I've heard that about 20 pounds is normal.

The flip side of this is tall thin women for whom 20 pounds doesn't make much of a difference getting dirty looks and being accused of 'starving' their baby. (I can't believe I managed to find that old salon article)
posted by delmoi at 7:58 AM on November 30, 2006


I post this as someone who is constantly impressed and proud of my wife, as she is five months along with our second and exercising regularily and eating well.

It's great that your wife is so virtuous and self-disciplined, but I'm not sure how that justifies linking to what is pretty much a borderline hate site (and yes, I'm aware that the writer may be a woman.)
posted by transona5 at 8:03 AM on November 30, 2006


What exactly is the point of this post? It can't be the Shape of a Mother site, because that's been done. What did you find interesting about the first link?
posted by Armitage Shanks at 8:06 AM on November 30, 2006


You know what pisses me off? Lame people with lame blogs telling women what to do with their own bodies when pregnant, as if not trusting women in general to make their right choices during their pregnancy.

Your friend Laura only had veggies and fish while pregnant? Whoah! Good for her!

For f's sake... Can we all give pregnant women a serious break and let them handle their own bodies as they wish, as long as it does not endanger the baby? And yes some women have a glass of wine a week when pregnant, and do not deliver deformed babies, thank you very much - most often then not they even consulted doctors in the first place and do not want to hear your sorry IANAD advice.
posted by Sijeka at 8:07 AM on November 30, 2006


It all depends, but 25 to 35 lbs is about right for women who were normal weight before hand. Of course, since some crazy percentage of Americans are overweight, "normal" might really be 15 to 25 lbs gained.

The amazing thing to me was how my wife dropped about 15 lbs within a few days of having our first kid. He was over eight lbs, plus the loss in fluids and, uh, other stuff, amounted to about half of her total weight gain. Of course, the additional 15 lbs is the hard part, but still...
posted by rsanheim at 8:07 AM on November 30, 2006


In fact this thread reminded me of that:

Unless you are my doctor or my husband, you may keep your opinions to yourself; I'm not interested.
posted by Sijeka at 8:10 AM on November 30, 2006


I predict this thread will end up like every other Metafilter thread that has to do with the nebulous cultural constructions symbolically referred to by the terms "overweight" and "obese".
posted by sciurus at 8:12 AM on November 30, 2006


Obesity on Metafilter? This will go well.
posted by Khalad at 8:12 AM on November 30, 2006


transona: C'mon, the linked post is mean but its not like she isn't making a point. She isn't saying "zomg look at the fat preggies!!". She is obviously talking about a certain percentage who take pregnancy to mean an excuse for eating whatever and however they want.

Any the glowing overall acceptance on the shape of the mother site was just bound to get a response like this...
posted by rsanheim at 8:13 AM on November 30, 2006


I think the goal is to present some balance. No, a woman can't go from pregnant one day to a supermodel the next. However, the other extreme--that a mother's body will be fatter, flabbier, and more marked, and that should be beautiful without question, isn't right either.

At the end of the day, a healthy lifestyle--pregnant or no, man or woman--is what we should strive for.
posted by MrGuilt at 8:14 AM on November 30, 2006


*ducks and covers*
posted by quite unimportant at 8:15 AM on November 30, 2006 [1 favorite]


Any the glowing overall acceptance on the shape of the mother site was just bound to get a response like this...

Yes, women not hating their bodies do tend to attract a certain kind of response from a certain kind of person.

Here's the woman described on this blog as having "a cunt for a belly." Does she look like someone who's been gorging herself and using pregnancy as an excuse?
posted by transona5 at 8:20 AM on November 30, 2006


I'd rather see women who are fat & pregnant than the more common site of petite pregnant 16 year olds pushing a pram along while smoking Royals...

Also: "I fucking hate retarded people."
Classy lady.
posted by slimepuppy at 8:20 AM on November 30, 2006


I'm not sure I even get "Shape of a Mother". The idea is that women think they look bad because of pregnancy but they want to feel good about being good people otherwise so they post pictures of themselves to say that they're not ashamed of what they've become? Is that it?

Because I'm missing the part where anyone expected women to look perfect after pregnancy. I'm not really sure who these women are defending themselves against? Their own disappointment with getting a lot of stretch marks?

As to the attack, yes, some women look great post-partum. Some women don't. It hardly had anything to do with self-discipline. Well, maybe sometimes, but it's not like women who get stretch marks were "asking for them".

Anyway, both sites are all defensive about things but I'm not really seeing any attackers.
posted by GuyZero at 8:20 AM on November 30, 2006


Unless you are my doctor or my husband, you may keep your opinions to yourself; I'm not interested.

I'll drink to that.
posted by peeedro at 8:21 AM on November 30, 2006 [1 favorite]


Yes, women not hating their bodies do tend to attract a certain kind of response from a certain kind of person.

A little hate is pretty motivating.
posted by smackfu at 8:21 AM on November 30, 2006


This is bullshit. Even women who get back to their approximate pre-baby size won't look the same after pregnancy. This woman, about whom the first linked site said had a "cunt for a belly," looks downright hot in her clothes. She isn't using having been pregnant as an excuse to be overweight.
posted by frecklefaerie at 8:21 AM on November 30, 2006


On preview, what transona5 said.
posted by frecklefaerie at 8:23 AM on November 30, 2006


Peeedro - thanks for the link. I liked this line:

"My husband, frankly, is uncomfortable with it. But he recognizes that there is no way for him to put himself in my position, or to know what he would do under the same circumstances."

I'd really like to think that most people are fine with considering the pregnant woman the person in the best possible place to make choices about her and her baby, but alas not trusting them seems to be the rule.
posted by Sijeka at 8:27 AM on November 30, 2006


Yeah, upon reading more of "Violet Acres" site, what exactly is her angle? She's a loud-mouth asshole who hates people? After reading the entry bragging about her site traffic, I feel bad for reading it.

Anyway, asshole on the internet, film at 11.
posted by GuyZero at 8:28 AM on November 30, 2006


transona: That last woman I can't tell whats going on, as she has three different pics and doesnt say what she actually gained throughout the pregnancies. I agree she looks normal in the last pic.

The other women linked to are a bit more clearly in the zone of "gaining 70 lbs for a 8 lb baby territory". And thats fine, if we can call a spade a spade - its lack of self control or genes or bad choices or whatever...just because you did the whole "miracle of birth" thing doesn't mean its normal or healthy to gain that much weight.

I didn't post this to incite a flamewar, though I'm well aware of the mefi/obesity history :). I just thought it was an interesting balance to the over fawning acceptance on the shape of a mother site.
posted by rsanheim at 8:32 AM on November 30, 2006


This is a blog that exists to shit on people, particularly people of the "mommy blogger" persuasion. The blogger has also, in the past, done some creepy trolly things to other bloggers. If it were funnier, better written, even a great page design, I can see getting a kick out of it, but it's not, so much, any of that.

I mean, it has the right to exist, but the only reason to post it here is to say "Look, meanspirited people have blogs!" and I truly think that if you wanted to send that message, you could find a better blog.

It's also somehow related to Tucker Max, of Tard Blog fame, so consider throwing giant grains of salt in this blog's general direction.
posted by padraigin at 8:34 AM on November 30, 2006


peedro: thanks for that link, I was wondering about that exact thing just the other day actually.
posted by rsanheim at 8:36 AM on November 30, 2006


What a horrible person.
posted by boo_radley at 8:38 AM on November 30, 2006


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