The dolphin is eating the tank again. Call Bao Xishun!
December 15, 2006 7:08 AM   Subscribe

The world's tallest man saved a dolphin by reaching into its stomach to retrieve plastic the dolphin had eaten. Bao Xishun, the world's tallest man at 7' 8.95" (2m, 36.1cm), is a herdsman from Inner Mongolia and is just naturally tall, not suffering from acromegaly or gigantism. At least there's some good dolphin-related news coming out of China. (Previously.)
posted by nekton (39 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
I love Mongols (heart heart heart)
posted by thirteenkiller at 7:12 AM on December 15, 2006


Happy news! I love that the tallest man in the world is Asian, especially since he is just naturally tall. I hope they compensated him well for reaching into the dolphins' stomachs.
posted by arcticwoman at 7:16 AM on December 15, 2006


Reaching into dolphins' stomachs is its own reward.
posted by chrismear at 7:20 AM on December 15, 2006 [5 favorites]


So long, and thanks for all the gaaaaghgllrk! - Hey!
posted by CynicalKnight at 7:23 AM on December 15, 2006


About time he started pulling his weight around here, I've been on the waiting list for him to help me change the lightbulbs in the office for months.
posted by Divine_Wino at 7:33 AM on December 15, 2006 [1 favorite]


But can he leap tall buildings in a single bound?
posted by econous at 7:39 AM on December 15, 2006


Those dolphins owe him one.
posted by Milkman Dan at 7:55 AM on December 15, 2006


I wonder how the world's second tallest man feels.
posted by Jeff_Larson at 7:59 AM on December 15, 2006


World's tallest woman is also Chinese. Must be somethin' in the rice.
posted by RavinDave at 8:01 AM on December 15, 2006


I wonder if he stays on call for this type of thing.
posted by dead_ at 8:02 AM on December 15, 2006


Bao: I just want to say two words to you--just two words.
Dolphin: Yes sir.
Bao: Are you listening?
Dolphin: Yes I am.
Bao: No plastic.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:03 AM on December 15, 2006 [2 favorites]


I love that the tallest man in the world is Asian

Assisting in the procedure, a teetotaling Irishman held the dolphin down while the Italian veterinarian gave directions without using with his hands.
posted by horsewithnoname at 8:07 AM on December 15, 2006 [5 favorites]


Vet 1: How are we ever going to get these plastic shards out of these dolphins' stomachs?

Vet 2: Wait a minute! Let's call the world's tallest man!
posted by dsword at 8:44 AM on December 15, 2006 [1 favorite]


I want to know the story behind this. I'm envisioning a swarm of helicopters racing over the steppe, herds of sheep scattering under them as they chase down the World's Tallest Man riding on the World's Tallest Horse. His cloak billows behind him. The air stings cold and sharp on his wind-weathered face and he smiles; when he is away from the duties of the World's Tallest Man this is what he loves, the herding and the horses and the wild steppe extending on and on beyond the horizon.

He rides on for a moment more, then pulls his horse around as the helicopters land in front of him. A woman steps out. She is dressed smartly but her expensive haircut and suit cannot hide the obvious worry in her eyes.

"Mr. Xishun, the world needs you."

He nods. It has happened before. It will happen again. He is really, really tall. This is his job; this is his life. He did not choose it, but like Spider-Man, he is unable to deny it.
posted by schroedinger at 8:44 AM on December 15, 2006 [32 favorites]


Wait, the tallest man in the world is only 7'9"? Hot diggity! I'd better start growin'!
posted by tehloki at 8:57 AM on December 15, 2006


Inspector Gadget was unavailable?
posted by sonofslim at 9:05 AM on December 15, 2006


I loved this post!
posted by serazin at 9:07 AM on December 15, 2006


thanks for clearing the acromegaly thing up.
posted by trinarian at 9:24 AM on December 15, 2006


schroedinger, I will be chuckling about that scenario all day.
posted by elendil71 at 9:27 AM on December 15, 2006


+1 to schroedinger

It is just so...I don't know, out of the movies. Scientists brainstorming around a table, the clock ticking, dolphin lives on the line. We must save the dolphins!!

Running out of options. The dolphins mustn't die. Our last hope: We must call the world's tallest man to save the day. Yes! But what if he is busy? There is no other option! He is our last hope!!

And of course he saved the day, and the dolpins.
posted by fstutzman at 9:27 AM on December 15, 2006


Bet they had a really tough time getting him into that helicopter, though.
posted by NationalKato at 9:28 AM on December 15, 2006


It's a great story about the tall mongolian.
But Leonid Stadnik from the Ukraine is the tallest man with 8'4'. And he's still growing at 33 yrs. Poor guy will probably die soon. Just watch the picture where he drinks from a 3 liter jar!
posted by jouke at 9:33 AM on December 15, 2006


This may be the oddest story I've read in a really long time. It's fantastic that everything turned out well, but yeah... odd.
posted by quin at 9:38 AM on December 15, 2006


jouke, it's a shame they couldn't call Leonid Stadnyk - he's a vet (according to the Wikipedia article about him.) Then again, perhaps pulling plastic out of a dolphin doesn't requre a lot of skill, just long arms.

Also in the Wikipedia article, Guinness thinks Mr. Stadnyk might be a liar: "Leonid Stadnik refuses to be measured by us. We have been told that it is because he doesn't want to court publicity — yet he continues to claim to be the tallest. Unfortunately we can only conclude due to previous experience, that he refuses to be measured officially by us because he is not the height he claims to be."
posted by nekton at 10:09 AM on December 15, 2006


probably inspired by 1978, when cliff ray, then center for the golden state warriors, stuck his arm down a dolphin's throat to retrieve a bolt. i remember reading about it in some book about dolphins when i was a kid.
posted by sergeant sandwich at 10:27 AM on December 15, 2006


I give it a week until there's a dolphin oral-fisting fetish website.

Two weeks, tops.
posted by Cyrano at 10:44 AM on December 15, 2006


I bet Ray and Xishun were just thankful it wasn't a fecal impaction.
posted by TedW at 11:32 AM on December 15, 2006


schroedinger, when will the screenplay be finished?
posted by winston at 11:48 AM on December 15, 2006


Awesome!
posted by pwedza at 1:04 PM on December 15, 2006


I declare this the funniest thread in quite some time. Special props to schroedinger for the nod to Armageddon!
posted by The Card Cheat at 2:24 PM on December 15, 2006


Worlds tallest man in 2008!
He can save us all!
(But differently)
posted by Iron Rat at 2:59 PM on December 15, 2006


Yeah, I'd look tall if you photographed me in and around a tiny hovel with only shrunken babooshkas crouching down around me, too. I call BS.
posted by Meatbomb at 4:49 PM on December 15, 2006


uh, dude?
posted by tehloki at 5:02 PM on December 15, 2006


I was talking about the Ukrainian.
posted by Meatbomb at 5:06 PM on December 15, 2006


darn........ \'/ selfpwned.
posted by tehloki at 5:08 PM on December 15, 2006


Bao: I just want to say two words to you--just two words.
Dolphin: Yes sir.
Bao: Are you listening?
Dolphin: Yes I am.
Bao: No plastic.


Now I have to change my pants.
posted by docpops at 6:07 PM on December 15, 2006


This is possibly the most incredible thing I've ever read. Moreover, the thread is fantastic. You're all geniuses...thank you, world's tallest man.
posted by baphomet at 1:34 AM on December 16, 2006


What a swell guy! Mongols are cool.
posted by Jess the Mess at 8:57 AM on December 16, 2006


In sadder news, the Baiji is functionally extinct (update to the previous thread.)

My hope is that this will galvanize the microscopic environmental movement in China to get more action taken.

I'm getting worried about the environmental movement here in the US, and how much of a chilling effect the AETA will have on it.
posted by homunculus at 1:00 PM on December 16, 2006


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