BEES! BEES! OH GOD BEES!
December 24, 2006 11:43 PM   Subscribe

 
I was hoping that the fucker in the first link would have his house catch on fire. No such luck.
posted by Liosliath at 11:49 PM on December 24, 2006


Is this post about bees?
posted by jonson at 11:49 PM on December 24, 2006 [1 favorite]


Pics? Where's the pics thic rebel xt supposedly took?
posted by IronLizard at 11:55 PM on December 24, 2006


....

I'm on dailup, so can't watch the videos. But the somethingawful forum post makes my stomach turn. My dad is a beekeeper, and I've helped him out a lot. Those bees were probably in swarm mode... the reproductive part of a hive's lifecycle where the old queen leaves with a bunch of bees to found a new colony. In their swarm state, bees are pretty docile as you can tell by the poster's repeated attempts at dislodging them to no avail and --if you'll note-- to know agression on the part of the swarm.

They probably would have been gone in the morning. Beese need a safe place to stay, a swingset, some random exposed place is not ideal.

Ugh... stupid people. If you are respectful of a bee's space, you will not get stung. Don't mess with an established colony, don't poke them with sticks, stay out of the fucking flightpath and they'll leave you alone so that they can collect pollen.

I'm in a fine state of anger. Wild bee colonies in the United States are being devastated by varroa mites right now and we need their pollination power to keep growing crops like almonds and the like...

Mmm. Someone step in and reassure me that native bee populations can handle it.
posted by Mister Cheese at 12:01 AM on December 25, 2006


MC, I'm with you. It would have been better if one of the perpetrators ended up on fire instead. And funnier.
posted by Liosliath at 12:06 AM on December 25, 2006


From the way they swarm the mountain dew cans in my backyard, I think they're doing fine.
posted by IronLizard at 12:06 AM on December 25, 2006


Bees! They're everywhere! They're ripping my flesh off!
posted by Pollomacho at 12:09 AM on December 25, 2006


From the way they swarm the mountain dew cans in my backyard, I think they're doing fine.

Great. Just what we need - extreme bees.

Instead of flowers they'll be attracted to bright green cans, bottles and the sound of skateboards, clicky keyboards or explody video games. Next thing you know they'll be coding or threatening to wipe some luser's disk quota.
posted by loquacious at 12:20 AM on December 25, 2006 [1 favorite]


The idiots in the 'STUPID!!!' link deserved to be stung horribly almost as much as the idiots in the first link.

Also: The Chaos Grid.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 12:25 AM on December 25, 2006


threatening to wipe some luser's disk quota

Bastard Bee Operators From Hell. EXTREME Version.
posted by IronLizard at 12:28 AM on December 25, 2006


I suspect most people are not aware that wild bees are nearing extinction. They act in ignorance.
posted by five fresh fish at 12:39 AM on December 25, 2006


I like how the guy considers "Cropping" to be "post processing"
posted by delmoi at 12:59 AM on December 25, 2006


Ugh... stupid people. If you are respectful of a bee's space, you will not get stung.

Well, Turns out you wont get stunk if you burn them in an inferno as well.

I had a bunch of bees living on my balcony last year. Jesus Christ they are hard to kill. I had to seal off the crack they were using, completely, three times. Once with duct tape, which they ate through. Once with expanding foam, which they ate through, and finally with caulk. Pretty interesting to watch.
posted by delmoi at 1:02 AM on December 25, 2006


I quite liked that last link. The guy really seemed to know what he's doing. And I'd never heard about the mating ritual, which was interesting.
posted by kisch mokusch at 1:17 AM on December 25, 2006


< zim> That was no human bee. < /zim>
posted by sparkletone at 1:36 AM on December 25, 2006


I like my women like I like my coffee - covered in bees.
posted by greycap at 1:57 AM on December 25, 2006


I hear there are people that will deal with swarming bees for free; the bees can be captured without harm and are actually valuable, so they'll take the swarm off your hands for nothing.

Personally, I'm amazed the guys in the first link were so unworried about the bees. You couldn't get me within a mile of such a large bundle of bees. I can't stand the evil little things. I'm supposed to depend on insect intelligence to determine friend from foe? Screw that.
posted by Mitrovarr at 3:44 AM on December 25, 2006


Once with duct tape, which they ate through. Once with expanding foam, which they ate through, and finally with caulk. Pretty interesting to watch.

delmoi: Glad you found something that worked. But I really don't want to see your caulk.
posted by hal9k at 5:51 AM on December 25, 2006


stay out of the fucking flightpath and they'll leave you alone so that they can collect pollen.

i would , but i don't know were to get a copy of "bee flightpath monthly"
posted by nola at 7:43 AM on December 25, 2006


A Thousand Baited Hooks: "The idiots in the 'STUPID!!!' link deserved to be stung horribly almost as much as the idiots in the first link.
"

The gun control lobby needs to utilize videos like this more: do you *really* want morons like this carrying deadly weapons around in public places? In their hands, anything more deadly than foam rubber nunchucks is a disaster just waiting to happen.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 8:08 AM on December 25, 2006


Holy cow. Good call, PMcD. Those good ol' boys were born stupid and getting more retarded as time goes on. They had it right down to the redneck "hyuk-hyuk" and squeals of violence=inspired glee. Lordy, with citizens like that, who needs enemies?
posted by five fresh fish at 8:41 AM on December 25, 2006


If you get tired of the cruelty, there's a beautiful story a few entries down in the second-last link.
posted by nebulawindphone at 9:12 AM on December 25, 2006 [1 favorite]


so yeah, about 5 years ago my wife and i came back to our rental house from house-shopping and found the backyard swarming with bees. they eventually (after a couple of hours) came to rest in a tree... the ball had to be about 1.5 feet in diameter.

we called around and found a beekeeper and he came out for free and collected them into one of those bee-hutch boxes as in the video above. whats interesting though is he went into full beekeeper gear to do the job - maybe he was afraid that they were africanized bees? the guy in the video just does it in street clothes.

anyway he was a bit more methodical overall, and when he got the queen in the box he left it open a crack and then instructed us to close the box a couple of hours after sundown. i guess all the bees come home at that point. he came by the next day and collected the box. i guess maybe the difference is that he had a permanent box for them and wouldnt have to transfer them all later.

i have to say it was one of the most interesting wildlife experiences i've ever had.

i cant believe those rednecks in the first link. but what did we expect from SA? they are worried that the bees are on the swingset and its not safe for the kids, and then they proceed to destroy the swingset. great.

now in our new house we have paper wasps living in the roof tiles (spanish tile roof). they are very docile and supposely good for eating garden pests but there are quite a few of them and eventually someone's going to step on one and get stung... yikes.
posted by joeblough at 10:32 AM on December 25, 2006


De bees come down! De bees come down! Gonna look into your bones

Sorry, that was the first thing I thought of.
posted by oaf at 12:06 PM on December 25, 2006


OH THE BEEMANITY!
posted by alby at 12:24 PM on December 25, 2006


with citizens like that, who needs enemies?

Just wanted to read that again.
posted by poweredbybeard at 12:40 PM on December 25, 2006


Those bees were swarming to make a new hive. Humans rely on bees to survive. Bees are vanishing.
posted by Brian B. at 12:40 PM on December 25, 2006


<Gir> Aww, my bees </Gir>
posted by quin at 1:57 PM on December 25, 2006


Bees as pollinators.

Honeybees vanishing.
posted by Brian B. at 2:45 PM on December 25, 2006


Sorry, duplicate links above.
Honeybees vanishing.
posted by Brian B. at 2:46 PM on December 25, 2006


< marge> Oh my, they sound angry. And Africanized. < /marge>
posted by cerulgalactus at 3:13 PM on December 25, 2006


Jeez.
posted by dozo at 6:00 PM on December 25, 2006


I am a beekeeper.

The bees in the first link are swarming. They find a branch or picnic table or swingset and clump there while scouts look for a new hive. Swarming bees aren't usually a problem, as aggressiveness rises in proportion to honey stores, and these bees obviously have nothing to protect. You can, I'm told, pet a swarm of bees with your bare hand, though there's no way in hell I'm trying it.

Of course, they look intimidating, so I can understand wanting to get rid of them. Yes, call a beekeeper if you can; you can find your local bee inspector online. Here in Ohio there's one per county. Otherwise, you can kill exposed bees by hosing them down with a mixture of laundry detergent and water. This technique won't work on bees in a hive or underground because you probably won't get the queen.

That hole in the wall from whence the bees departed is going to be another problem. Bees swarm because there's been a sudden catastrophe, e.g. fire, or because they've grown too big and the colony is reproducing. They produce a new queen and the old queen leaves with around half of the old workers. That means he's still got a wall full of comb and bees.
posted by Nahum Tate at 7:11 AM on December 26, 2006 [1 favorite]


Also, I'm covered in beeeeees.
posted by Nahum Tate at 7:16 AM on December 26, 2006


"You couldn't get me within a mile of such a large bundle of bees. I can't stand the evil little things."

Another person who can't tell bees, hornets, and wasps apart.
posted by Sukiari at 9:34 PM on December 26, 2006


It's one thing to want to get rid of hive and whole 'nother ball of beeswax to torture them. I admit to a certain fondness for bees and every last one of those boneheads pestering the bees deserve a million stings.
posted by deborah at 11:26 PM on December 26, 2006


Sukiari: "Another person who can't tell bees, hornets, and wasps apart."

Of course I can. I understand that bees are important, but that doesn't mean I can't dislike them on a personal level. As far as wasps and hornets, well, don't even bring those little bastards up.
posted by Mitrovarr at 4:18 PM on December 27, 2006


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