How to Good-Bye Depression:
February 18, 2001 5:43 PM   Subscribe

How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?
via pigs & fishes. scroll down for the hilarious review.
posted by rmw (17 comments total)
"Hello, gentlemen..."
posted by Kikkoman at 6:51 PM on February 18, 2001

Wow. This is... wow. Words fail me.
posted by kindall at 7:14 PM on February 18, 2001

In some strange way, it's analogous to ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US, or as Lisa Simpson says when she sees a movie marquee reading Yahoo Serious Festival, and I paraphrase "I know what those words mean, but they don't make sense when you put them together like that."

Curiouser and curiouser...
posted by jpoulos at 7:36 PM on February 18, 2001

It's working!
posted by frenetic at 8:17 PM on February 18, 2001

I had to triple-check that that was really Amazon and not some clever URL-a-like.
posted by dhartung at 8:22 PM on February 18, 2001

I did some digging. It seems that the review on Amazon is actually an excerpt from the book. You can sample more of the book here.

I'm not sure which I find more humorous, the content or the bad translation.
posted by saturn5 at 8:28 PM on February 18, 2001

Doesn't that make it easier to control the muscle around the prostate allowing men to delay orgasm? Or something? That's what I heard anyway...

Not that I've tried it.

posted by davidgentle at 8:46 PM on February 18, 2001

Heh, butt-squeezing exercise.
posted by Zool at 9:32 PM on February 18, 2001

Sugoi na hon da ne! Sugu yomitain dakedo chuusa wa chotto okashii na....I'd like to read it, but it'd be better if I could get the Japanese version to avoid any bad translation. Ambiguity could be fatal when dealing with a toopic such as this, ne???
posted by Capn_Stuby at 10:03 PM on February 18, 2001

I have to admit that when I heard was going to let anyone publish his or her own book, I thought a lot a junk would suddenly see print.

Now I'm beginning to see the light. If traditional publishing houses pass on material like this, well, it's their funeral.

Death to the dinosaurs.
posted by bilco at 10:08 PM on February 18, 2001

Okay, what makes me really, really sad is that this book's amazon sales ranking (31,449) is a couple hundred thousand higher than my book. Sigh. Maybe I need to run it thru debabelizer a few times to drive up sales, or at the very least use the word 'anus' more often.
posted by kokogiak at 11:17 PM on February 18, 2001

So fitting that a day that started with a friend sending me a link to "All Your Bases..." would end with "Constricting Anus..."... Maybe I'll wake up and this will have all been some strange, beautiful dream.
posted by ritualdevice at 12:49 AM on February 19, 2001

"I'm doing them now"
posted by fullerine at 2:39 AM on February 19, 2001

Don't know about anyone else, but one of the related books that Amazon listed was Love Thine Enemas & Heal Thyself. Unfortunately it did not then lead itself to more wacky titles. Still, the description was ... well, I'll just give you an excerpt:

The book builds from page one from physical feelings and emotions to explain the indepth effects of our private thoughts and feelings about enemas and colon treatments to all other areas of our lives.... This is all blended in the 7th chapter wedding ceremony, in which all this work, comes together to explain how to meld two people into a working, loving, sharing unit that can share life fully and become something extra-ordinary.

posted by dhartung at 5:49 AM on February 19, 2001

I hope everyone who checked out this link also had a look at its fine companion tome, "Love Thine Enemas & Heal Thyself". Here's a quote from the author's review:

"This is a book about the enema, a simple loving gentle treatment that properly used is very healthful. Enemas fill the colon. They can fill the soul with love when properly understood and used as a part of the interaction of humans caring for each other, with love."

I think I'm going to go and fill my soul with love...RIGHT NOW!!!
posted by MrBaliHai at 5:50 AM on February 19, 2001

That's not your soul you're filling. Um, that's not love you're filling it with, either.
posted by jennyb at 6:49 AM on February 19, 2001

well duh... and here I was thinking laughter is the best medicine.
posted by auntbunny at 7:40 AM on February 19, 2001

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