Tonight we are having Roast Bee
March 2, 2007 2:02 AM   Subscribe

How to solve a bee problem. A story in twenty-three pictures.
posted by Turtles all the way down (42 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: It's a double, honey bee. -- cortex

posted by soundofsuburbia at 2:14 AM on March 2, 2007

I guffawed out loud.

And in my not-so-humble opinion, it shouldn't count as a double if the link was previously posted as part of a MY NEW HYPERLINK TECHNIQUE IS UNSTOPPABLE.
posted by chrismear at 2:19 AM on March 2, 2007


posted by patricio at 2:22 AM on March 2, 2007

I did search for "bees", but in my defense it wasn't clear from his title that loquacious' post was about bees.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 2:28 AM on March 2, 2007

Aw, well I hadn't seen this so thanks!
posted by the other side at 2:31 AM on March 2, 2007

It would have been much better if the bees had stung his eyes so he ran around blind and bashed his face into stuff and set himself on fire and died and freaked out his relatives so that they started a cult that had to be exterminated by feds with flamethrowers.
posted by pracowity at 2:34 AM on March 2, 2007 [2 favorites]

"We had to destroy the swing set in order to save it."

It's really kind of an incomplete narrative as none of the protagonists were gravely injured by their stupidity. I feel all empty inside.
posted by rocketpup at 2:35 AM on March 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

Bees, being eusocial, are some of the most socially sophisticated of insects.

Was it really necessary to kill them? If a beekeeper had turned up and captured the queen in a matchbox they should've followed the matchbox anywhere. I guess beekeepers are a bit hard to find :(
posted by algreer at 2:38 AM on March 2, 2007

Notice all the flowers in their yard.
posted by srboisvert at 2:49 AM on March 2, 2007

That is so like, three years ago.
posted by toddbass10 at 3:17 AM on March 2, 2007

posted by meh at 3:21 AM on March 2, 2007

Missing a batshitinsane tag.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:21 AM on March 2, 2007

Yeah... jackass attacks bees that are not hurting anybody. Lovely. What a jerk. Doesn't he know that there's already a bee shortage??
posted by antifuse at 3:50 AM on March 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

You know, I'm pretty sure that most states consider that sort of activity (the gasoline & paint thinner explosions) at least a misdemeanor. So why would anyone document themselves doing it on camera? Why do people routinely videotape themselves in the commision of a crime? It is beyond stupidity.
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:53 AM on March 2, 2007

W.T.F. This isn't funny. Bees rule and he just roasted them. Pretty stupidly and dangerously, too.
posted by DU at 4:21 AM on March 2, 2007

Ah, redneck justice. Nice pictures, btw.
posted by zardoz at 4:27 AM on March 2, 2007

What a waste!
posted by furtive at 4:49 AM on March 2, 2007

my (85-year-old) nana got rid of a wasp problem underneath her house by, basically, going up to the grill they were coming out of, with a can of insect-repellent, and spraying the whole thing into the grill. while wasps were coming out. did i mention she's 85 and needs a walking stick?

of course, being the independent lady she is, she didn't tell anyone until a few days later, in an offhand manner, because it hadn't worked. she got a telling off for such reckless endangerment of her person and we assured her we'd handle it at the soonest opportunity.

the next day, she did it again. this time the wasps didn't come back. those guys should have asked their grandad to come over, he would have got rid of the problem, probably with just a rolled newspaper.
posted by cardamine at 4:59 AM on March 2, 2007

being the daughter of a beekeeper I'm horrified. There is something wrong with us if we think this is funny. Bees are one of the most socially sophisticated insects out there and it is easy, even for someone who doesn't know anything about them, to shake them into a box and find them a new home as long as you get the queen.... a google search would have given them the basic steps. What an unnecessary act of violence and evidence of wilful ignorance.
posted by gnomesb at 5:05 AM on March 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

You know, these things are little fuzzy bunnies to the Alien queen. Wait til She shows up and sees what you have done.
posted by jfuller at 5:05 AM on March 2, 2007

Now killing *wasps* I can get behind. I'm all about destroying the wasps. You know what works great and leaves the refreshing smell of mint? Mint. Apparently it's a neurotoxin to wasps (all insects?). You can buy spray bottles of it at a farm/agricultural store (there's an Agway across the street from my house). The only real downside is that you have to get it right onto the wasp to work, so spraying a nest only kills the wasps that are in there at the moment, not the ones that are out killing babies and rippings the heads off puppies.
posted by DU at 5:07 AM on March 2, 2007

Why is it that everything I've seen on the internet after watching Idiocracy last night makes it seem more and more like the most poignant film of 2006?
posted by saraswati at 5:25 AM on March 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

I was really hoping he'd burn his house down.
posted by mr_book at 5:31 AM on March 2, 2007

What a fucking idiot.
posted by dobbs at 5:35 AM on March 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

I bet the kids cheered for Dad and Uncle until they noticed that they melted the frickin seats of their swing set...
posted by sweetwildandmad at 5:43 AM on March 2, 2007

The should have tried diplomacy first. War is never the answer.
posted by ColdChef at 5:45 AM on March 2, 2007

This right here is the difference between red state and blue state. In blue states, this is cruel, wasteful, and short-sighted. In red states, this is prime entertainment and a damn good story to tell.
posted by Saydur at 5:50 AM on March 2, 2007

When I typed in the other thread, a hornet flew in my window and into my face, then escaped before I could get my electric fly-swatter on it.

I a swarm of wasps inhabit that dude's scrotum!
posted by Goofyy at 5:57 AM on March 2, 2007

Geez. That's supposed to be "May a", not "I a"

And what Saydur said. Red states are red to match their necks.
posted by Goofyy at 5:58 AM on March 2, 2007

So this should have been posted to the red instead?
posted by chrismear at 6:08 AM on March 2, 2007

Yeah, sure. If this had been a swarm of kittens, you'd be wanting their heads on a pike.

seriously, though, if your first reaction to finding something as fascinating as a swarm of bees is to kill it, you are terminally incurious and should be denied access to any technology ever
posted by phooky at 6:16 AM on March 2, 2007

I'm a hobbiest beekeeper and this makes me sick.

During a swarm, which is pictured here, it's difficult for bees to sting even if they wanted too (which they don't). They are full of honey they are transporting to the new hive location.

This guy still has bees behind his stucco. Many hives divide during spring, so he got the swarm, but not the originating hive. Maybe he'll burn his house down getting that one.

At current bee prices, this guy burned up about $90 worth of bees a hobbiest would have gladly removed for him.
posted by mania at 6:16 AM on March 2, 2007

There's no need to be ashamed, Goofyy. So what if you are a swarm of wasps? I say go for it — inhabit that dude's scrotum, and don't let anyone tell you there's something wrong with it.
posted by nebulawindphone at 6:21 AM on March 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

I have a bee nest in my yard. How can I get rid of it? Will they sting me?:
If you see a swarm of exposed honey bees in your tree, but no permanent nest (honeycomb), you are lucky enough to witness a wonderful part of the colony life cycle. Swarming is how honey bee colonies reproduce. These bees are searching for a new home, and are very often not defensive at all. They will take a couple of days to find a new home, and then disappear as suddenly as they arrived.

If you see a swarm, you are best off to just leave it alone and let them pass through...they should be gone in a few days. Remember, swarms have no permanent nest structures, just bees. If you see a nest you don't have honey bees - you have wasps. If you see honey comb, the bees have settled down in your tree (unlikely unless it is in a hole in the trunk). You may consider having them removed if this is the case.
Do not do it yourself with a gasoline/paint thinner Molotov cocktail (great lesson for the kids, BTW). These guys were very lucky not to toast themselves or anything else.

What gnomesb and mania said: more on bee swarming.
posted by cenoxo at 6:22 AM on March 2, 2007

This is sad.
posted by iconomy at 6:28 AM on March 2, 2007

Yeah, what a fucking crime. Honeybees are dying in record numbers and we don't know why. Please stop encouraging the kind of idiocy that destroys a harmless swarm.
posted by mediareport at 6:31 AM on March 2, 2007

Sometimes life just takes a little Vitamin G.
posted by ND¢ at 6:32 AM on March 2, 2007

Bee & Swarm Removal Nationwide — a national beekeepers registry.
posted by cenoxo at 6:36 AM on March 2, 2007

I think you guys are all being a little ridiculous on this matter.
posted by zhivota at 6:37 AM on March 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

Honeybees are dying in record numbers and we don't know why.
Well, we do now.
posted by Flunkie at 6:41 AM on March 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

posted by kirkaracha at 6:41 AM on March 2, 2007

you are lucky enough to witness a wonderful part of the colony life cycle, for sure.

i had a swarm land in my yard and stay suspended from a low branch for three days before moving on. during that time i watched the swarm change shape from ovoid by day to spherical at night. i figured it had to do with surface area and heat loss. i was reading just now: swarms (also) have mechanisms whereby the outermost workers in a bivouacked swarm of honey bees, when rained upon, form a water repellent curtain of bees over the swarm cluster, and more. beautiful.

those pictures were sickening, despicable.
posted by de at 6:41 AM on March 2, 2007

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