Iced Out Water
March 8, 2007 10:41 PM Subscribe
Bling h2o is the invention of Hollywood producer Kevin G. Boyd. It;s water in a frosted glass bottle with a cork and emblazoned with Swarovski crystals. At $24 a 750ml bottle, it's targeted at the super-luxury market. Is water from Tennessee really worth that much? Apparently, for some celebs, it is:
"A lot of times when you have some water, people are like, 'You're drinking water?' Instead, you say, 'Naw man, I'm blinging." -- Jamie Foxx
Pissing in that natural spring would have to be one of the most satisfying experiences that a human being could ever enjoy.
posted by FreedomTickler at 10:55 PM on March 8, 2007 [4 favorites]
posted by FreedomTickler at 10:55 PM on March 8, 2007 [4 favorites]
I believe there's a Chris Rock reference here about black people getting money and buying shiny shit.
He said it, I didn't.
I'd paraphrase his bit about being "rich" and having "wealth" but I'm probably in enough trouble already.
posted by squidfartz at 10:56 PM on March 8, 2007
He said it, I didn't.
I'd paraphrase his bit about being "rich" and having "wealth" but I'm probably in enough trouble already.
posted by squidfartz at 10:56 PM on March 8, 2007
I hate to say this because I used to really like him & was rooting for him... but my opinion changed a while ago. So I shall now say my first thoughts after reading this post, out loud for all to hear.
Jesus Christ has Jamie Foxx become a pompous, self-absorbed ass. I wish he hadn't won that Oscar and instead had retained his humility & likability. "Naw man, I'm blinging?" Please. His beloved grandmother who forced him to "keep it real" and "be a gentleman" should reach out to him from the grave and slap him upside the head.
posted by miss lynnster at 10:56 PM on March 8, 2007 [1 favorite]
Jesus Christ has Jamie Foxx become a pompous, self-absorbed ass. I wish he hadn't won that Oscar and instead had retained his humility & likability. "Naw man, I'm blinging?" Please. His beloved grandmother who forced him to "keep it real" and "be a gentleman" should reach out to him from the grave and slap him upside the head.
posted by miss lynnster at 10:56 PM on March 8, 2007 [1 favorite]
In a perfect world each bottle would be supplied with shotgun slug shell that automatically fired when said hyperconsumer took their first drink.
An important note to idiotiarian celebrities: Swarovski crystals are glass. Shiny pieces of very expensive, leaded glass. It would be more cost effective - and vastly more entertaining - if you simply smashd the safety glass side windows of your "Benzo" or "Rolls" and rolled around in all the pretty, shiny pieces. Now that's bling. Now we just have to make suicide fashionable for the ultrarich-and-ultraworthless set.
posted by loquacious at 10:57 PM on March 8, 2007 [2 favorites]
An important note to idiotiarian celebrities: Swarovski crystals are glass. Shiny pieces of very expensive, leaded glass. It would be more cost effective - and vastly more entertaining - if you simply smashd the safety glass side windows of your "Benzo" or "Rolls" and rolled around in all the pretty, shiny pieces. Now that's bling. Now we just have to make suicide fashionable for the ultrarich-and-ultraworthless set.
posted by loquacious at 10:57 PM on March 8, 2007 [2 favorites]
bling-2-ho.
posted by gorgor_balabala at 11:04 PM on March 8, 2007
posted by gorgor_balabala at 11:04 PM on March 8, 2007
"It's water in a frosted glass bottle with a cork and emblazoned with Swarovski crystals. At $24 a 750ml bottle..."
So the crystals are just ornamental; the meth is dissolved in the water?
posted by davy at 11:07 PM on March 8, 2007 [2 favorites]
So the crystals are just ornamental; the meth is dissolved in the water?
posted by davy at 11:07 PM on March 8, 2007 [2 favorites]
Such are the ways we go to hell in a handbasket.
i was reading that delivering a 1L Fiji water to the North America market costs us 1L of petroleum, 23L of water used in the industrial processes, and releases a couple pounds of CO2 into our atmosphere.
All for a bottle of water.
We humans are fucked.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:13 PM on March 8, 2007 [7 favorites]
i was reading that delivering a 1L Fiji water to the North America market costs us 1L of petroleum, 23L of water used in the industrial processes, and releases a couple pounds of CO2 into our atmosphere.
All for a bottle of water.
We humans are fucked.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:13 PM on March 8, 2007 [7 favorites]
"Bling h2o is pop-culture in a bottle. But it's not for everyone, just those that bling."
posted by scalespace at 11:14 PM on March 8, 2007
posted by scalespace at 11:14 PM on March 8, 2007
Bling h2o. Not Even Once.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 11:15 PM on March 8, 2007 [5 favorites]
posted by flapjax at midnite at 11:15 PM on March 8, 2007 [5 favorites]
I believe we've found a product that describes Hollywood in a nutshell.
posted by spiderskull at 11:17 PM on March 8, 2007
posted by spiderskull at 11:17 PM on March 8, 2007
Why not, oh, run tap water through a home faucet filter into any container you choose?
posted by davy at 11:19 PM on March 8, 2007
posted by davy at 11:19 PM on March 8, 2007
Surely this is a pisstake and your outrage is uncalled for?
posted by wilful at 11:20 PM on March 8, 2007
posted by wilful at 11:20 PM on March 8, 2007
I believe the phrase "Die in a fire" sums up my general reaction to this.
posted by VirtualWolf at 11:20 PM on March 8, 2007
posted by VirtualWolf at 11:20 PM on March 8, 2007
Eh, this is no worse than a diamond ring, right? It's a lot of money for a shiny thing with no real purpose, with a price that is only justified by marketing.
posted by Richard Daly at 11:21 PM on March 8, 2007 [5 favorites]
posted by Richard Daly at 11:21 PM on March 8, 2007 [5 favorites]
Eh, this is no worse than a diamond ring, right?
Agreed, except that proceeds from Bling (as far as we know) are not funding any rag-tag "revolutionary" mystic armies of hopped-up, automatic-rifle toting child soldiers in African countries.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 11:25 PM on March 8, 2007 [1 favorite]
Agreed, except that proceeds from Bling (as far as we know) are not funding any rag-tag "revolutionary" mystic armies of hopped-up, automatic-rifle toting child soldiers in African countries.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 11:25 PM on March 8, 2007 [1 favorite]
Agreed, except that proceeds from Bling (as far as we know) are not funding any rag-tag "revolutionary" mystic armies of hopped-up, automatic-rifle toting child soldiers in African countries.
You've obviously never been to eastern Tennessee.
posted by three blind mice at 11:30 PM on March 8, 2007 [9 favorites]
You've obviously never been to eastern Tennessee.
posted by three blind mice at 11:30 PM on March 8, 2007 [9 favorites]
Superluxe product turns out to be no better than standard product, status only justified by exorbitant price; film at 11. Also, kittens: why are they so cute? News 7 correspondent Tricia Tanaka has the details.
posted by chrominance at 11:35 PM on March 8, 2007
posted by chrominance at 11:35 PM on March 8, 2007
kevin boyd used to work on the jamie foxx show. im amazed that conflict of interest wasn't mentioned in the article. have you ever seen foxx's old routine on def comedy jam? that was the shit. of course nobody comes close to bernie mac. he came out of nowhere.
posted by phaedon at 11:43 PM on March 8, 2007
posted by phaedon at 11:43 PM on March 8, 2007
Also, kittens: why are they so cute?
Actually, I do find that an intrigueing question. Are they our parisitizing our parental instincts?.
posted by jouke at 12:01 AM on March 9, 2007
Actually, I do find that an intrigueing question. Are they our parisitizing our parental instincts?.
posted by jouke at 12:01 AM on March 9, 2007
When I think of Tennessee water, I don't think of bling. I think of acid mine drainage, blackwater sludge, arsenic, mercury...
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:09 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:09 AM on March 9, 2007
I think it's funny that they get their spring water from a source that has won an award--then they purify the hell out of it...
Here's a suggestion for anyone wanting to make their own "snob value" bottled water. Near me in Lake County, CA is the old Bartlett Springs resort, where Bartlett Springs mineral water was once bottled. The company went belly-up ten years ago, and the spring and resort sit idle. The bottling plant is now the Tulip Hill winery. Bartlett Springs is a rapidly fading memory, though it was one of the world's most popular mineral waters. It didn't taste all that nice, but then Perrier isn't very sweet either...
Bet you could buy the source for cheap!
(You'll have to truck the water down a very steep, narrow and unpaved road, however....)
posted by metasonix at 12:23 AM on March 9, 2007
Here's a suggestion for anyone wanting to make their own "snob value" bottled water. Near me in Lake County, CA is the old Bartlett Springs resort, where Bartlett Springs mineral water was once bottled. The company went belly-up ten years ago, and the spring and resort sit idle. The bottling plant is now the Tulip Hill winery. Bartlett Springs is a rapidly fading memory, though it was one of the world's most popular mineral waters. It didn't taste all that nice, but then Perrier isn't very sweet either...
Bet you could buy the source for cheap!
(You'll have to truck the water down a very steep, narrow and unpaved road, however....)
posted by metasonix at 12:23 AM on March 9, 2007
What about the Ohio River, where Louisville gets its water from?
posted by davy at 12:26 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by davy at 12:26 AM on March 9, 2007
How soon before someone starts selling Designer Air? "Carefully bottled at our plant in the mountains of Austria, far from the nearest coal plant, and filtered to remove all greenhouse gases, our air is the purest and best tasting you can buy!"
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 12:42 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 12:42 AM on March 9, 2007
Ask, and ye shall recieve.
Be careful of what you ask for.
posted by loquacious at 12:55 AM on March 9, 2007
Be careful of what you ask for.
posted by loquacious at 12:55 AM on March 9, 2007
How soon before someone starts selling Designer Air?
It's not quite the same, but the last hotel I stayed at had canned oxygen in the minibar for thirty bucks a pop.
posted by bunglin jones at 12:55 AM on March 9, 2007
It's not quite the same, but the last hotel I stayed at had canned oxygen in the minibar for thirty bucks a pop.
posted by bunglin jones at 12:55 AM on March 9, 2007
Please tell me that's a Spaceballs reference, and not the actual truth. If only for the sake of my sanity.
posted by kosher_jenny at 1:11 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by kosher_jenny at 1:11 AM on March 9, 2007
Yeah, it's been what -- ten years since I saw an oxygen bar for the first time? Never became popular, but maybe it was ahead of its time. I don't mean that as a compliment.
posted by dreamsign at 1:27 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by dreamsign at 1:27 AM on March 9, 2007
This was the stuff they had in the hotel:
Oxia is not only a market leader, it is a market creator. The team at Oxia have achieved a world first by bringing portable Oxygen to the masses and in the process created a new market segment
/sorry for the derail
posted by bunglin jones at 1:36 AM on March 9, 2007
Oxia is not only a market leader, it is a market creator. The team at Oxia have achieved a world first by bringing portable Oxygen to the masses and in the process created a new market segment
/sorry for the derail
posted by bunglin jones at 1:36 AM on March 9, 2007
Bring on the airstrikes.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:32 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:32 AM on March 9, 2007
Portable Oxygen!
Why didn't I think of that?
posted by flippant at 2:37 AM on March 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
Why didn't I think of that?
posted by flippant at 2:37 AM on March 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
They're preparing us for the day when everybody pays $24 for a 750ml bottle of water. It's the one, most important liquid we're really not careful with.
Easy for me to say, I drink, shower, and flush with Poland Spring water daily. Of course, that's because my well is close enough to theirs to call it that.
posted by SteveInMaine at 3:02 AM on March 9, 2007
Easy for me to say, I drink, shower, and flush with Poland Spring water daily. Of course, that's because my well is close enough to theirs to call it that.
posted by SteveInMaine at 3:02 AM on March 9, 2007
Bling aside, this is just as fucking stupid as any bottled water. (I think this is the issue that will finally turn me into my own Dad - I'm finding it increasingly difficult to avoid berating my friends for sipping bottled stuff when the water that comes out of the taps in this city is totally delicious, as clean if not cleaner, and flows from a ridiculously pretty Loch - maybe the council should brand everyone's taps with that image.)
posted by jack_mo at 3:17 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by jack_mo at 3:17 AM on March 9, 2007
Idiots.
posted by fourcheesemac at 3:49 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by fourcheesemac at 3:49 AM on March 9, 2007
Bottled water is for idiots. Expensive bottled water is for rich idiots. So the only thing to glean from the comments is that we are all poor. Which is precisely what Bling, in all its incarnations, is supposed to tell us. Mission accomplished.
posted by srboisvert at 3:58 AM on March 9, 2007
I'm finding it increasingly difficult to avoid berating my friends for sipping bottled stuff when the water that comes out of the taps in this city is totally delicious, as clean if not cleaner, and flows from a ridiculously pretty Loch - maybe the council should brand everyone's taps with that image.
We're not all so lucky. Even through a filter the tap water here has a little chlorine taste to it. Doesn't come through in coffee or boiled foods, but it is very noticeable when drinking straight. The 22 cents a bottle store brand spring water is well worth the ultra lavish expense that I'm foolishly laying out on it.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 4:09 AM on March 9, 2007
We're not all so lucky. Even through a filter the tap water here has a little chlorine taste to it. Doesn't come through in coffee or boiled foods, but it is very noticeable when drinking straight. The 22 cents a bottle store brand spring water is well worth the ultra lavish expense that I'm foolishly laying out on it.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 4:09 AM on March 9, 2007
Jamie Foxx is a fucking moron.
Also, to offer some counterpoint, consider Belu, a bottled water company that comes in a compostable bottle, and donates all profits to securing clean, drinkable water for populations that can't afford Bling.
posted by Hobbacocka at 4:38 AM on March 9, 2007 [3 favorites]
Also, to offer some counterpoint, consider Belu, a bottled water company that comes in a compostable bottle, and donates all profits to securing clean, drinkable water for populations that can't afford Bling.
posted by Hobbacocka at 4:38 AM on March 9, 2007 [3 favorites]
Seriously. WTF. Drinking real mineral water (Gerolsteiner, Contrex, Pellegrino, etc.) is one thing, as it does have some benefits beyond the taste, buying filtered tap water (Dasani, Aquafina) is idiotic, and this... well, I don't know what this is, but sub-moronic doesn't seem to cover it.
posted by psmealey at 4:51 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by psmealey at 4:51 AM on March 9, 2007
Actually, wasn't it Marx (Groucho or Karl) that said:
"Now that's what I call commodity fetishism!"
posted by psmealey at 4:56 AM on March 9, 2007
"Now that's what I call commodity fetishism!"
posted by psmealey at 4:56 AM on March 9, 2007
I could make fun of Bling, but I live in a place that has good water and I still buy a bottle of Volvic almost every day. In my defense, I'm from California and it's part of my culture.
posted by betweenthebars at 4:58 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by betweenthebars at 4:58 AM on March 9, 2007
Volvic is honest mineral water, betweenthebars, there's no shame in that. It also ain't a "status symbol".
posted by psmealey at 5:05 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by psmealey at 5:05 AM on March 9, 2007
I hate to tell you this chrominance, but Tricia Tanaka is dead...
posted by miss lynnster at 5:38 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by miss lynnster at 5:38 AM on March 9, 2007
The original working name for this product was "Pretty bottle that happens to come with water in it" but those crazy marketing guys wouldn't go for it.
posted by Rhomboid at 5:40 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by Rhomboid at 5:40 AM on March 9, 2007
I support this product and any other stupid thing the separates the ultra-rich from their money.
posted by ColdChef at 5:46 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by ColdChef at 5:46 AM on March 9, 2007
From their copy — 'You can tell a lot about a person by the bottled water they carried'.
Rilly¿ Pray fucking tell.
'Image is of utmost importance'. Nuff said.
I salute them in trying to beg to be called Kristal, but couldn't, so the walkabout to stick Barbie crystals on the bottle for the connect. That's fucking brill and if you can get away with it and charge $24.00 and still be in business in 5 years, then good for you. I'm on the phone with my Asian connection knocking off blingH20 using plastic crystals, which will sell for half the price. Who'll tell the difference¿ No one. :)
I don't buy bottled water, which is water from city taps profiting large corporations. I do buy 2L bottles of soda water ]89¢ea.[, love those bubbles.
posted by alicesshoe at 5:54 AM on March 9, 2007
Rilly¿ Pray fucking tell.
'Image is of utmost importance'. Nuff said.
I salute them in trying to beg to be called Kristal, but couldn't, so the walkabout to stick Barbie crystals on the bottle for the connect. That's fucking brill and if you can get away with it and charge $24.00 and still be in business in 5 years, then good for you. I'm on the phone with my Asian connection knocking off blingH20 using plastic crystals, which will sell for half the price. Who'll tell the difference¿ No one. :)
I don't buy bottled water, which is water from city taps profiting large corporations. I do buy 2L bottles of soda water ]89¢ea.[, love those bubbles.
posted by alicesshoe at 5:54 AM on March 9, 2007
Didn't I read an article somewhere that claimed that these guys were just water-iers and not water-makers. Ya just don't get that kind of de-bunking journalism anymore these days!!
posted by TwoWordReview at 5:58 AM on March 9, 2007 [2 favorites]
posted by TwoWordReview at 5:58 AM on March 9, 2007 [2 favorites]
The best water I've ever had was passed through a superfine filter to try to keep out the giardia (beaver fever). It was so clean and tasty after that. Those filters aren't cheap - about $200 (one time cost), and you have to sit their pumping all your water by hand. But hey, you won't get exposed to giardia.
posted by jb at 6:08 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by jb at 6:08 AM on March 9, 2007
You should all check out my website - I'm selling "benjablings" - new, blinging US$100 bills for fashion leaders who want to make a statement with their money.
Each bill has one 100% pure diamonte stud in each of its four corners - and, instead of "conformist" green, these "pimpbacks" are black squares with the hand-crafted, gold-coloured lettering: "100, yo".
Benjablings - for people who know that money talks - and it's talking about YOU.
Each benjabling costs only US$230.95, exclusive of shipping and handling. Allow 4-6 weeks for delivery.
"I'm blingin' it!"™
posted by the quidnunc kid at 6:16 AM on March 9, 2007 [4 favorites]
Each bill has one 100% pure diamonte stud in each of its four corners - and, instead of "conformist" green, these "pimpbacks" are black squares with the hand-crafted, gold-coloured lettering: "100, yo".
Benjablings - for people who know that money talks - and it's talking about YOU.
Each benjabling costs only US$230.95, exclusive of shipping and handling. Allow 4-6 weeks for delivery.
"I'm blingin' it!"™
posted by the quidnunc kid at 6:16 AM on March 9, 2007 [4 favorites]
The best water I've ever had was passed through a superfine filter to try to keep out the giardia (beaver fever). It was so clean and tasty after that. Those filters aren't cheap - about $200 (one time cost), and you have to sit their pumping all your water by hand. But hey, you won't get exposed to giardia.
Could it have maybe been "the best water [you've] ever had" because it came from a mountain stream? I'm not saying the filter didn't help purify it, and probably did make it taste a bit better. But if you consider the source (ha) — the couverture, if you will — maybe that had more to do with the taste than the filter.
posted by Alt F4 at 6:34 AM on March 9, 2007
Could it have maybe been "the best water [you've] ever had" because it came from a mountain stream? I'm not saying the filter didn't help purify it, and probably did make it taste a bit better. But if you consider the source (ha) — the couverture, if you will — maybe that had more to do with the taste than the filter.
posted by Alt F4 at 6:34 AM on March 9, 2007
hrm... don't see this so much as a example of the idiocy of the uber-rich as much as an example of the idiocy of hip-hop culture. it's all about appearance & bling & jewelry, etc... doesn't matter if you can actually afford it, as long as you have it. and if you don't, you apparently have no "game".
morons.
posted by jbelshaw at 6:39 AM on March 9, 2007
morons.
posted by jbelshaw at 6:39 AM on March 9, 2007
Actually, the bottle of water only costs $1.00. The other $23 is the retard tax.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 6:50 AM on March 9, 2007 [3 favorites]
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 6:50 AM on March 9, 2007 [3 favorites]
I heard that If you pay jess howie $10 you can bling your username with a 100% gold star.
"Dude, you on the internet?"
"Naw man, I'm metablingin'."
posted by the quidnunc kid at 6:51 AM on March 9, 2007
"Dude, you on the internet?"
"Naw man, I'm metablingin'."
posted by the quidnunc kid at 6:51 AM on March 9, 2007
You can tell a lot about a person by the bottled water they carried'.
yeah, you can tell that they're tacky nouveau riche idiots.
posted by atrazine at 6:55 AM on March 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
yeah, you can tell that they're tacky nouveau riche idiots.
posted by atrazine at 6:55 AM on March 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
Image is of utmost importance...
When you otherwise have no substance.
posted by psmealey at 7:22 AM on March 9, 2007
When you otherwise have no substance.
posted by psmealey at 7:22 AM on March 9, 2007
I'm going to wait for the counterfeit version of this come out and then I'm going to clean up.
posted by psmealey at 7:23 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by psmealey at 7:23 AM on March 9, 2007
I suddenly had a mental image of people fighting over the empty bottles in the recycle bin outside Jamie Foxx's house.
Hey! Maybe someone could start some kind of NPO where celebrities donate their used bling h2o containers to help regular, Oscar-less people buy cars & pay their bills & stuff!
posted by miss lynnster at 7:28 AM on March 9, 2007
Hey! Maybe someone could start some kind of NPO where celebrities donate their used bling h2o containers to help regular, Oscar-less people buy cars & pay their bills & stuff!
posted by miss lynnster at 7:28 AM on March 9, 2007
hrm... don't see this so much as a example of the idiocy of the uber-rich as much as an example of the idiocy of hip-hop culture.
I love how everyone has carefully avoided this in the thread.
This has nothing to do with being uber-rich. I would wager that you will not see Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, or anyone else on the Fortune list drink this (except possibly Steve Jobs, because there is pretty much no telling what that man will do from day to day).
Bottled water has always been a sore spot for me, too. But, I have later in life realized the convenience of picking up a couple of bottled waters when out and about. To me, bottled water is about convenience, and sometimes its worth a couple of quarters to just get it easily. I don't exactly want to carry a canteen around like I did when I was a kid. (And I did. I drink liquids like a freaking beast of burden.)
Although I have visited some places where the municipal water supply is horrid. I truly feel for those people. In those cases, yeah, by all means, get some packaged water.
As a matter of coincidence, I had just finished a nice cold draught from the office water cooler, supplied with Tennessee spring water at $8 per 5 gallons, which works out to not quite $0.32 per 750ml, and I already consider that expensive.
posted by Ynoxas at 7:37 AM on March 9, 2007
I love how everyone has carefully avoided this in the thread.
This has nothing to do with being uber-rich. I would wager that you will not see Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, or anyone else on the Fortune list drink this (except possibly Steve Jobs, because there is pretty much no telling what that man will do from day to day).
Bottled water has always been a sore spot for me, too. But, I have later in life realized the convenience of picking up a couple of bottled waters when out and about. To me, bottled water is about convenience, and sometimes its worth a couple of quarters to just get it easily. I don't exactly want to carry a canteen around like I did when I was a kid. (And I did. I drink liquids like a freaking beast of burden.)
Although I have visited some places where the municipal water supply is horrid. I truly feel for those people. In those cases, yeah, by all means, get some packaged water.
As a matter of coincidence, I had just finished a nice cold draught from the office water cooler, supplied with Tennessee spring water at $8 per 5 gallons, which works out to not quite $0.32 per 750ml, and I already consider that expensive.
posted by Ynoxas at 7:37 AM on March 9, 2007
Just to take the other side, the quote was attributed to Jamie Foxx to Entertainment Tonight. Without seeing the quote in context, and heck even after seeing it, you can't be sure if 1) he was serious, 2) it's not product placement. Just saying.
phaedon, thank you so much for that old bernie mac clip. Been forever since I seen that.
posted by cavalier at 7:47 AM on March 9, 2007
phaedon, thank you so much for that old bernie mac clip. Been forever since I seen that.
posted by cavalier at 7:47 AM on March 9, 2007
"idiocy of hip-hop culture"
Which just underscores the futility of and wasted bandwidth over the outrage over this. It's yet another dumbass mindless hip-hop fad, and it'll be gone just as fast as those goofy Fila faux-leather berets everybody had five minutes after they saw Eddie Murphy wearing one in The Golden Child. Go back to bitching about Iraq, global warming, or Peak Oil, or Newt Gingrich's hypocritical sex life -- something that matters.
When I buy bottled water, it's usually to have a refillable water bottle with a pull spout. Gatorade bottles have even better tops for this purpose, and I learned a long time ago to buy the Gatorade powder and mix my own refills. Most places I've lived, the tap water's potable.
posted by pax digita at 7:50 AM on March 9, 2007
Which just underscores the futility of and wasted bandwidth over the outrage over this. It's yet another dumbass mindless hip-hop fad, and it'll be gone just as fast as those goofy Fila faux-leather berets everybody had five minutes after they saw Eddie Murphy wearing one in The Golden Child. Go back to bitching about Iraq, global warming, or Peak Oil, or Newt Gingrich's hypocritical sex life -- something that matters.
When I buy bottled water, it's usually to have a refillable water bottle with a pull spout. Gatorade bottles have even better tops for this purpose, and I learned a long time ago to buy the Gatorade powder and mix my own refills. Most places I've lived, the tap water's potable.
posted by pax digita at 7:50 AM on March 9, 2007
You are are missing the essential point. It's not the water, it's the bottle. They might as well sell and empty corked bottle that you fill up on your own. And the superrich are never going to buy this. Jamie Foxx is never going to buy it. He's going to get it free because he's endorsing it.
The target market is very obviously low to middle class people who cannot afford it but who will buy it at the "club". Rich people don't get rich spend $24 for a bottle of water.
posted by Pastabagel at 7:51 AM on March 9, 2007
The target market is very obviously low to middle class people who cannot afford it but who will buy it at the "club". Rich people don't get rich spend $24 for a bottle of water.
posted by Pastabagel at 7:51 AM on March 9, 2007
Well, that ET quote aside, I've listened to enough clips of him over the last year to firmly believe Jamie Foxx has become an unbearably smug fool whose corporal punishment-loving grandmother should be reanimated just to slap him around. YMMV.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:01 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by miss lynnster at 8:01 AM on March 9, 2007
And I loved Ray, actually.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:01 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by miss lynnster at 8:01 AM on March 9, 2007
The plastic bottles of that water sell online for $1 a bottle if you buy a 24 bottle case, by the way.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:04 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by miss lynnster at 8:04 AM on March 9, 2007
Its spelled Bling but its pronounced Sucka H20.
Also, does the water come out of that model's butt or was there some other reason she's trying to shove that bottle in there?
posted by fenriq at 8:23 AM on March 9, 2007
Also, does the water come out of that model's butt or was there some other reason she's trying to shove that bottle in there?
posted by fenriq at 8:23 AM on March 9, 2007
But it's a joke, right? Right? I mean, come on -- that ass on the website? Joke? Yes?
Please?
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:23 AM on March 9, 2007
Please?
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:23 AM on March 9, 2007
On second thought -- maybe it's like haute couture. Very few people will buy the $40 bottles of water, but there's no shortage of idiots willing to pay to advertise the company on their t-shirts.
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:27 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:27 AM on March 9, 2007
jermaine dupri's 3 Vodka - distilled from soy, people - is available at BevMo for $3.99.
posted by phaedon at 8:30 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by phaedon at 8:30 AM on March 9, 2007
Hahaha! What a great parody!
posted by Cookiebastard at 8:41 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by Cookiebastard at 8:41 AM on March 9, 2007
America: Still Leading The World In Selling Crap To Rich People.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 8:42 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by EndsOfInvention at 8:42 AM on March 9, 2007
And Donald Trump's Super Premium Vodka was soundly beaten by Damon Dash's Armadale Vodka, 1 star for taste to 2 1/2 stars.
posted by fenriq at 8:44 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by fenriq at 8:44 AM on March 9, 2007
Doesn't Foxx almost exclusively play young ingenue characters that become outrageously successful, and mostly, through their own lack of self-control, allow themselves to be ruined by their excesses?
I wish Foxx could be less like the characters he plays, and Lindsey Lohan more like the ones she does.
posted by psmealey at 8:50 AM on March 9, 2007
I wish Foxx could be less like the characters he plays, and Lindsey Lohan more like the ones she does.
posted by psmealey at 8:50 AM on March 9, 2007
Lynnster:
I loved Ray too, but I've grown to hate Jamie Foxx lately.
You know what I'm really ashamed of? Watching I Walk the Line. That was Ray with white people. For this you get Oscars?
posted by Mister_A at 8:52 AM on March 9, 2007
I loved Ray too, but I've grown to hate Jamie Foxx lately.
You know what I'm really ashamed of? Watching I Walk the Line. That was Ray with white people. For this you get Oscars?
posted by Mister_A at 8:52 AM on March 9, 2007
And "watching" was not supposed to be capitalized, nor italicized. Even more shame for me.
posted by Mister_A at 8:52 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by Mister_A at 8:52 AM on March 9, 2007
Eh, this is no worse than a diamond ring, right? It's a lot of money for a shiny thing with no real purpose, with a price that is only justified by marketing.
posted by Richard Daly at 2:21 AM EST on March 9
That's stretching things a bit. My mother proudly wears her mother's diamond engagement ring and someday I and my daughter will inherit that "shiny thing with no real purpose." Something tells me that nobody is going to be inheriting a Bling H2O.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 9:02 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by Richard Daly at 2:21 AM EST on March 9
That's stretching things a bit. My mother proudly wears her mother's diamond engagement ring and someday I and my daughter will inherit that "shiny thing with no real purpose." Something tells me that nobody is going to be inheriting a Bling H2O.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 9:02 AM on March 9, 2007
Drinking real mineral water (Gerolsteiner, Contrex, Pellegrino, etc.) is one thing, as it does have some benefits beyond the taste, buying filtered tap water (Dasani, Aquafina) is idiotic, and this... well, I don't know what this is, but sub-moronic doesn't seem to cover it.
Agreed. Real mineral water is actually good for you. The only thing this water's good for is raising my blood pressure as I watch idiots get rich off of even bigger idiots.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 9:06 AM on March 9, 2007
Agreed. Real mineral water is actually good for you. The only thing this water's good for is raising my blood pressure as I watch idiots get rich off of even bigger idiots.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 9:06 AM on March 9, 2007
This reminds me oh so much of the Noka Chocolates story.
posted by jacquilynne at 11:26 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by jacquilynne at 11:26 AM on March 9, 2007
Who the hell even says "bling" anymore aside from zany morning radio hosts?
posted by Mister_A at 11:31 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by Mister_A at 11:31 AM on March 9, 2007
While the example of "Bling h2o" is um...crass, I really don't see how it's any more decadent or wasteful than anything else the ultra-rich of the world have ever been consuming or doing. What they are buying is status; it frustrates people with brains because it demonstrates how utterly shallow many extremely privileged people are (especially ones who possibly grew up poor -- just a guess on my part). They take pride in waste.
posted by inoculatedcities at 11:54 AM on March 9, 2007
posted by inoculatedcities at 11:54 AM on March 9, 2007
We have bottled water here - in our emergency kit. That's the only place for it.
And just in case you think it's only celebs, I give you a new job opening for modern times, the water sommelier.
And yes that is on a site dedicated to people who love fine waters no I don't know anything about it as long as the water is wet I am fine with it.
posted by Salmonberry at 12:03 PM on March 9, 2007
And just in case you think it's only celebs, I give you a new job opening for modern times, the water sommelier.
And yes that is on a site dedicated to people who love fine waters no I don't know anything about it as long as the water is wet I am fine with it.
posted by Salmonberry at 12:03 PM on March 9, 2007
Okay, blinging your friggin water is just too damn much, but I think I actually found a stupider (but less overtly obnoxious, anyway) water bottle.
Behold!
posted by Talanvor at 12:15 PM on March 9, 2007
Behold!
posted by Talanvor at 12:15 PM on March 9, 2007
I believe we've found a product that describes Hollywood in a nutshell.
Not true. To be a perfect representation, the bottle should be empty.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 12:15 PM on March 9, 2007 [2 favorites]
Not true. To be a perfect representation, the bottle should be empty.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 12:15 PM on March 9, 2007 [2 favorites]
From Penn & Teller's Bullshit -- Bottled Water [video]
posted by ericb at 12:22 PM on March 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by ericb at 12:22 PM on March 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
Both of these fancy waters' web sites feature pictures of the bottle near a woman's hinders [NOT WOMANIST]. Are they suggestin' that that's where it's from or that's where you're headin'? Or maybe, more simply, that these here waters is best enjoyed with or on a sexy naked lady? Just sayin'.
posted by Mister_A at 12:27 PM on March 9, 2007
posted by Mister_A at 12:27 PM on March 9, 2007
From the 10 thousand bc page:
This precious live resource is literally bottled to "inspirational music" since research shows water has a memory.
Oh just...just...I don't know, just "fuck you" is all. I can't come up with any other response. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 12:37 PM on March 9, 2007 [2 favorites]
This precious live resource is literally bottled to "inspirational music" since research shows water has a memory.
Oh just...just...I don't know, just "fuck you" is all. I can't come up with any other response. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 12:37 PM on March 9, 2007 [2 favorites]
Yeah, as a chemist, I'm not sure where to begin about the glacier water... so basically, just one big BULLSHIT is going to have to do.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 1:03 PM on March 9, 2007
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 1:03 PM on March 9, 2007
Jamie Foxx was great in Collateral.
posted by kirkaracha at 1:13 PM on March 9, 2007
posted by kirkaracha at 1:13 PM on March 9, 2007
The best bottled water? My Sigg* bottle filled with reverse osmosis filtered water. (The RO filter is one of my most favorite parts of my Wife's fish tank hobby.)
* Any aluminum bottle would probably do, but I like the opening size on the Siggs best.
posted by quin at 1:20 PM on March 9, 2007
* Any aluminum bottle would probably do, but I like the opening size on the Siggs best.
posted by quin at 1:20 PM on March 9, 2007
The best water I've ever had came directly out of a pipe sticking out of the side of a hill. Natural artesian spring.
This is shit, but, hey, I'm in a police station.
posted by neckro23 at 1:55 PM on March 9, 2007
This is shit, but, hey, I'm in a police station.
posted by neckro23 at 1:55 PM on March 9, 2007
quni, aluminum is not so good for the ingesting, no (scroll down to precautions)?
posted by nonreflectiveobject at 2:00 PM on March 9, 2007
posted by nonreflectiveobject at 2:00 PM on March 9, 2007
I guess this isn't the place to say that I want a crystal studded water bottle, and I wonder where I can buy one?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:02 PM on March 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:02 PM on March 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
quni, aluminum is not so good for the ingesting, no (scroll down to precautions)?
That link is to aluminium. Whole different thing.
posted by Mister_A at 2:02 PM on March 9, 2007
That link is to aluminium. Whole different thing.
posted by Mister_A at 2:02 PM on March 9, 2007
nro, the Sigg bottles use a coating on the inside to keep the liquid from touching the actual aluminum. They are designed in such a way, that even if the bottle gets dented, the inner coating is supposed to continue working.
Supposedly.
Anyhow, I figure they have been making the things for damn near a hundred years, if they haven't figured out how to make the things safe by now, no one is going to.
posted by quin at 3:07 PM on March 9, 2007
Supposedly.
Anyhow, I figure they have been making the things for damn near a hundred years, if they haven't figured out how to make the things safe by now, no one is going to.
posted by quin at 3:07 PM on March 9, 2007
Hey! I actually found water that's even more expensive! Whaddayaknow.
posted by miss lynnster at 6:58 PM on March 9, 2007
posted by miss lynnster at 6:58 PM on March 9, 2007
Best water I've had was from a glacial pool on a limestone mountain in south-east BC (Elk Lake Park), unfiltered and untreated. Best. Water. Evah.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:07 PM on March 9, 2007
posted by five fresh fish at 7:07 PM on March 9, 2007
the notion that hip hop culture is solely responsible for selling over-priced crap for the sake of image is disingenuous, bordering on racist. sure, it's more in your face with all the flash. but you can find people of any color or subcultural leaning overextending themselves financially to in order to bolster the beating there self confidence takes in our society.
posted by andywolf at 7:15 PM on March 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by andywolf at 7:15 PM on March 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
psst, miss lynnster, the 10 Thousand BC water is ~$90 for the same amount. I guess it's expensive to play a CD of "inspirational" music...? And I wonder what they mean by that, hymns? Sounds of the Rainforest?
posted by Talanvor at 7:21 PM on March 9, 2007
posted by Talanvor at 7:21 PM on March 9, 2007
Huh. I didn't see that 10,000 BC water link, actually. No end to the stupidness!
posted by miss lynnster at 10:07 PM on March 9, 2007
posted by miss lynnster at 10:07 PM on March 9, 2007
Could it have maybe been "the best water [you've] ever had" because it came from a mountain stream? I'm not saying the filter didn't help purify it, and probably did make it taste a bit better. But if you consider the source (ha) — the couverture, if you will — maybe that had more to do with the taste than the filter.
There are no mountains within hundreds of miles of where we were - and any within a few thousand miles are small (really big hills). It was out of the city, but it was from the delta of a large river system with some small cities upstream. There may have been pulp factories upstream, I don't know (I know there are other in the area, but they were along the lakeshore from where we were). No, I think it was just that the water was cold, we were hot, it was a beautiful day, and the filter was so fine that whatever had been in the water was filtered out.
Second best water I've ever had is Toronto tap water. No clorine, sand filtered for purity. Used to have a hint of yummy flouride but I don't know if it does any more. If you live in Toronto and your water tastes bad, it's because of your taps and pipes, not the water.
posted by jb at 8:53 AM on March 11, 2007
There are no mountains within hundreds of miles of where we were - and any within a few thousand miles are small (really big hills). It was out of the city, but it was from the delta of a large river system with some small cities upstream. There may have been pulp factories upstream, I don't know (I know there are other in the area, but they were along the lakeshore from where we were). No, I think it was just that the water was cold, we were hot, it was a beautiful day, and the filter was so fine that whatever had been in the water was filtered out.
Second best water I've ever had is Toronto tap water. No clorine, sand filtered for purity. Used to have a hint of yummy flouride but I don't know if it does any more. If you live in Toronto and your water tastes bad, it's because of your taps and pipes, not the water.
posted by jb at 8:53 AM on March 11, 2007
Actually - I had some, it was on the menu at the restaurant for the ol' office Christmas party and as I had heard about it the week before and nearly busted a gut telling my wife, we absolutely had to have some...
... after all, it was on someone elses' dime.
So.... Pellegrino kicks it's ass.
posted by jkaczor at 6:10 PM on March 11, 2007
... after all, it was on someone elses' dime.
So.... Pellegrino kicks it's ass.
posted by jkaczor at 6:10 PM on March 11, 2007
So.... Pellegrino kicks it's ass.
I don't doubt that for one second. San Pellegrino is damn tasty water, the best I know of that's readily available on the mass market in many of the countries around the world.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:26 PM on March 11, 2007
I don't doubt that for one second. San Pellegrino is damn tasty water, the best I know of that's readily available on the mass market in many of the countries around the world.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:26 PM on March 11, 2007
Pelligrino does have a great taste. It is actually worth the money, IMO.
posted by caddis at 7:32 PM on March 11, 2007
posted by caddis at 7:32 PM on March 11, 2007
Pellegrino. Costing as much in oil as it supplies in water.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:40 PM on March 11, 2007
posted by five fresh fish at 7:40 PM on March 11, 2007
[actually, it's Fiji-brand water that uses a liter of oil for each liter of water, but I can't imagine any other transnational-shipped water is going to do much better.]
posted by five fresh fish at 7:42 PM on March 11, 2007
posted by five fresh fish at 7:42 PM on March 11, 2007
« Older Not Even Once | People who live in glass houses. Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by Dizzy at 10:51 PM on March 8, 2007