Fire in the Hole, from A to Z
April 2, 2007 10:25 AM   Subscribe

Army men as alphabet (Warning: serious plastic army men carnage).
posted by miss lynnster (17 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
I searched & it didn't seem to be a double. If it is, I'm sure you'll tell me. :)
posted by miss lynnster at 10:26 AM on April 2, 2007

It's really disturbing and fun! To quote Dr. Johnson, "It is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all."
posted by Mister_A at 10:30 AM on April 2, 2007 [2 favorites]

Now it needs to be a font.
posted by unSane at 10:39 AM on April 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

I like 'N' best. It's like he's calling back to base saying "All that's left of Jim is his leg, and it's sticking straight up out of the ground."
posted by serazin at 10:43 AM on April 2, 2007

I'm not crazy about J, Q or U, but that is disturbingly fun.

In my personal hell, legions of G.I. Joes will be waiting, armed with cans of Aqua Net and butane lighters.
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 10:45 AM on April 2, 2007

Somehow, that's kinda poignant!

.. and funny.

Barbelith on Barbie mutilation.

Melted soldier bowl.
posted by Drexen at 10:57 AM on April 2, 2007

Excellent. (The melted bowl, too.)
posted by OmieWise at 11:02 AM on April 2, 2007

Hee, very cute! This brings back fond memories of shooting little green men to bits with an air pistol in my parents unfinished basement. "Decapitation By .177 Wadcutter" is a tricky shot to pull off; it's even harder when you're trying to dodge ricocheting bits of lead wildly caroming off concrete walls while your mom yells down the stairs to knock it the hell off and go outside if you want to blind yourself, you little weirdo.
Good times.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:05 AM on April 2, 2007

posted by grapefruitmoon at 11:24 AM on April 2, 2007

If only I had been as imaginative as this as a kid with my army men. Instead I had to settle for watching a buddy of mine repeatedly throw a poseable action figure against a wall until his arms and legs left his torso.
posted by the dief at 11:39 AM on April 2, 2007

I heard they're making amazing advances in the field of wounded-plastic-army-men prosthetics.
posted by Dizzy at 11:54 AM on April 2, 2007

They are, but they're housed in virtually unlivable conditions during their convalescence and therapy.
posted by OmieWise at 12:11 PM on April 2, 2007

I used to like to do this sort of thing on Sunday afternoons in the summer. You can graft another set of arms to the officer holding the pistol, and you can melt a neat hole in the chest of nearly any army man and pretend that it's the work of an alien's raygun and the soldier is still alive despite having what would be a softball-sized hole through his torso.
posted by Mayor Curley at 12:13 PM on April 2, 2007

My men were wiped out by a truly apocalyptic weapon in the heavy foliage. This despite having the strategic advantage of time to entrench, camouflage and superior numbers. Every man but me lost. The entire unit.

It was a sunny humid day. No sign of bad guys. HQ ordered us to hunker down and set an ambush. We had a proper perimeter. Scouts deployed. Everything seemed good. We were doing what soldiers always do. Killing time. Slaughtering time with stories of where we were from, where we go and the women we pretended either to have slept with or would have a chance to sleep with.

That's when we heard it. A giant roar. Wind picked up. We couldn't see anything through the foliage but the wild life was fleeing and wind was picking up. I seemed to come from every direction at once. The roaring got louder and louder and the wind got faster. I threw myself to the ground in a sniper position just as the sky went dark. I closed my eyes and prepared to meet the man who poured my plastic into the mould.

Then just as quick as it had started it was gone. With it went the tops of all the foliage and the heads of every single member of my unit. I lost it. I couldn't move. I just lay there not moving. One week later I was still there and it happened again. I stayed in the wild for the entire summer before search and rescue found me. I reported the details of the weekly attacks of the enemy uber-weapon to HQ I had codenamed: Lawnmower.
posted by srboisvert at 12:27 PM on April 2, 2007 [4 favorites]

I remember the fist time I shot a GI Joe with a BB gun. It was the original "Roadblock". I shot his hand clean off. Looking at the disfigured soldier somehow evoked a sense of remorse in me. After a few days of guilt for attacking a brave hero, I learned to put duty before conscience and shot his head off at medium range. Then, killing GI Joes became easy.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:13 PM on April 2, 2007

Looking at the disfigured soldier somehow evoked a sense of remorse in me.

I know what you mean. A friend and I spent hours mutilating a bunch of toy soldiers for an anti-war thing a few years back. Snipping parts off with nail clippers, melting, twisting limbs... After a while it got more than a little distressing, the intentionality of our cruelty, even if it was directed at little plastic dudes.

This is great, miss lynnster. I like ideas that balance clever and disturbing.
posted by hippugeek at 5:36 PM on April 2, 2007

My GI Joe was a lucky man. Always getting to kiss and rub against the naked dolls that my sisters never knew were missing.
posted by ColdChef at 3:06 PM on April 3, 2007

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