Moral fiber
April 2, 2007 10:31 AM   Subscribe

Porn Flakes and their fallout. Previously.
posted by serazin (27 comments total)


 
Wow, that's a great read; thanks!

Samuel Graham was born in the little town I grew up in, and as such was kind of idolized by the locals. I had a high school history teacher who was a bit... taken, let's just say, with some of the more insane points of his ideology, and he once regaled us for half an hour about the evils of self-flagellation. Bizarre. Also, I once had a true Graham cracker at a town festival--one of the healthful concoctions Graham had designed as part of his regimen. It was the most foul, inedible thing I've ever had the misfortune of tasting--sort of how I imagine a mothball tasting. I kind of admire the pluck of anyone who could turn this sort of health-food abomination into Honey Grahams.
posted by Mayor West at 11:03 AM on April 2, 2007


Porn Flakes!

When you pour the milk on them they go "Snatch! Nipple! Crotch!"
posted by squalor at 11:04 AM on April 2, 2007 [3 favorites]


Ugh. Samuel Sylvester Graham. My 5th grade history teacher would be crushed.
posted by Mayor West at 11:05 AM on April 2, 2007


All I can say is, that circumcision cure for masturbation? Does not work.
posted by nanojath at 11:07 AM on April 2, 2007 [1 favorite]


A remedy [for masturbation] which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision...The operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering an anesthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind.-- Dr. John Harvey Kellogg

OK, so that's evil. And bound to het up our usual circumcision debate.

In females, the author has found the application of pure carbolic acid to the clitoris an excellent means of allaying the abnormal excitement. -- Dr. John Harvey Kellogg

That's some fucked up repugnant shit right there.
posted by Richard Daly at 11:13 AM on April 2, 2007


Uh oh. Second link is dead, Jim.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:29 AM on April 2, 2007


Huh, my tricorder is still showing life-signs. It's just a bunch of pictures of cereal boxes though.
posted by serazin at 11:41 AM on April 2, 2007


The obsession with sexuality has been with us for a long, long time. And if you think about, it does make some sense. Sexual arousal does cause behavioral changes, and it certainly makes people act strangely, even 'wickedly' (such as cheating on your spouse, raping people, promiscuity leading to STDs and unwanted pregnancy etc)

The fact that sexuality was repressed in tons of different cultures all across the world at different times makes me think there must be some reason. Perhaps having to do with switching from a hunter-gatherer society to a farming society caused it along with other things we now consider backwards (like slavery). In modern society such repression is probably unnecessary, especially now that we have birth control and condoms.
posted by delmoi at 11:54 AM on April 2, 2007


I eat 2 bowls of Kaboom and I can fuck all night, yall.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 11:54 AM on April 2, 2007 [2 favorites]


A fascinating article and a great post. It's amazing to me that in recent history medicine was defined by guesswork and morality. It's only coincidence that some breakfast cereals are nutritionally beneficial (or are they? prev.)
posted by Chinese Jet Pilot at 12:06 PM on April 2, 2007


delmoi, I think you're on to something. When one adds to the lack of birth control/condoms the fact that most STD's couldn't be cured, puritanical attitudes toward sexuality are a bit easier to understand.
posted by treepour at 12:08 PM on April 2, 2007


Pure flakes.
posted by StickyCarpet at 12:15 PM on April 2, 2007


I eat 2 bowls of Kaboom and I can fuck all night, yall.

I find that the hallucinations from Kaboom really get in the way of a solid rogering -- I sometimes end up making love to the couch instead of the missus. Which is fine at the time, because either way I'm "really" banging Jeanne D'Arc, but the fabric burns get tedious.

I prefer Semen-Frosted Nookie Bombs or Spunkios. Energy and "lift" without the psychedelia.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:29 PM on April 2, 2007 [2 favorites]


ROU for the win!
posted by Parannoyed at 12:45 PM on April 2, 2007


strange they don't mention this
posted by silence at 12:52 PM on April 2, 2007


Don't feel badly R_X, even Chachi humped a couch instead of Joanie.
posted by miss lynnster at 12:52 PM on April 2, 2007


the road to wellville is a great book.
posted by mrgrimm at 1:10 PM on April 2, 2007


But of course! Remember the spin-off lineage:

Happy Days --> Joanie Loves Chachi --> Chachi Loves Couch
posted by LordSludge at 1:10 PM on April 2, 2007 [1 favorite]


Great article, thanks.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 1:42 PM on April 2, 2007


appy Days --> Joanie Loves Chachi --> Chachi Loves Couch

--> Couch Loves YOU! with Yakov Smirnoff as that dude who gets fucked by a couch.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:02 PM on April 2, 2007 [1 favorite]


Buster: Mom is becoming a little controlling.

Michael: What tipped you off? When she locked you out on the balcony again?

Buster: That was half my fault. I thought I saw a graham cracker out there.

Michael: You baited the balcony?

Lucille: Prove it.

Sorry. I'm always at least two years behind everyone else.

posted by Lentrohamsanin at 2:09 PM on April 2, 2007


And on the subject of klismaphilia, I present you: "Why not just objects or fingers...why enemas?" See also: Enemas4Fun. Or rather, don't, if you're that much of a total bourgeois puritan.
posted by Powerful Religious Baby at 2:38 PM on April 2, 2007


The response to that "why enemas" post Powerful Religious Baby linked too is bizarre. Your post is too long! No one will read it!
posted by feloniousmonk at 9:11 PM on April 2, 2007


I read this while listening to Glen Gould's variations on Bachs fugues. I suggest all of you do the same.
posted by Wonderwoman at 9:15 PM on April 2, 2007


Is there anything similar to Postum, a cereal-based coffee substitute, that can be purchased nowadays?
posted by shokod at 4:54 AM on April 3, 2007


Sweet jeebus, I hope not, shokod.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 6:12 AM on April 3, 2007


Postum is still on sale at my local grocery store. Now in two flavors - original, and coffee! Look at that! Postum is on the wp.
posted by serazin at 10:08 AM on April 3, 2007


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