Ewe won't believe this, folks!

April 26, 2007 9:55 AM

A Japanese actress complains that her new poodle doesn't bark and won't eat dog food. Why's that? Because it's a lamb. Apparently as many as 2,000 people in Japan may have been duped. Let the punning commence.
posted by cerebus19 (106 comments total)

Baaaka?
posted by Espy Gillespie at 9:58 AM on April 26, 2007 [7 favorites]

I don't believe ewe!
posted by gomichild at 10:02 AM on April 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

For realzies? This thread is eweless without pics.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:03 AM on April 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

Is it a lamb? Is it a poodle? Can you spot the difference?

Yeah. Yeah, I can.
posted by billysumday at 10:03 AM on April 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

I realize that poodles are unfamiliar in Japan, but it seems really flockin' stupid to not recognize that it's not a flockin' dog. At least the incident on the tv show seemed to ram the point home, chop-chop.

I bet the buyers feel pretty baaaaa-dly sheepish now.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:06 AM on April 26, 2007 [2 favorites]

Talk about underthinking a crate of fleece.
posted by psmealey at 10:06 AM on April 26, 2007

Anybody got a Japanese source for this? I couldn't find anything in the Japan Times or the MDN. The sources here are curiously.....British tabloidesque.
posted by mr_roboto at 10:07 AM on April 26, 2007

Bosses took advantage of the fact sheep are rare in Japan and most people do not know what they look like.

Kind of makes me rethink Murakami's A Wild Sheep Chase. A little bit. Not much.
posted by billysumday at 10:07 AM on April 26, 2007

But I wanted a rack of poodle for dinner!
posted by nofundy at 10:08 AM on April 26, 2007

New Zealand got revenge.
posted by IronLizard at 10:09 AM on April 26, 2007

It's fake - there are no Japanese stories on it.

And poodles are very popular here.

And sheep are well known. Whole bunch of em up in Hokkaido for starters.
posted by gomichild at 10:12 AM on April 26, 2007

It's fake - there are no Japanese stories on it.

They're just too embarrassed to admit it.
posted by IronLizard at 10:17 AM on April 26, 2007

I am also having a hard time finding original sources on this story, or being able to confirm any of it's details.

But the puns, oh sweet mercy the puns. I love me some lamby puns. with mint jam.
posted by French Fry at 10:18 AM on April 26, 2007

Her baaaad.
posted by carter at 10:18 AM on April 26, 2007

They're just too embarrassed to admit it.

Nah a portion of the Japanese media would have been all over a story of some devious gaijin trying to pull the wool over the eyes of the Japanese innocents.
posted by gomichild at 10:20 AM on April 26, 2007

The Sun and Metro are not exactly what you would call reliable sources, still I'd expect the stories they print to have at least some vague grain of truth. This story reads like it was printed 25 days too late.
posted by Artw at 10:26 AM on April 26, 2007

She donated her sheepoodle to Bat Boy.
posted by nofundy at 10:28 AM on April 26, 2007

I'm seeing some other reporting on this now... all giving Metro as a source.
posted by Artw at 10:28 AM on April 26, 2007

That has to be fake. As soon as the beastie deposited a bunch of lamb marbles on the linoleum even the most mouth-breathy of pet owners would realize it was no dog.
posted by oneirodynia at 10:35 AM on April 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

No woof in lamb's clothing here.
posted by schleppo at 10:35 AM on April 26, 2007

Does this remind anyone of Philip K. Dick's famous story Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?? (The economy pet of his future was an electronic facsimile of a real animal.)

Also, the image of the poodle-shorn sheep in The Sun's article is just begging to be an avatar.
posted by closetphilosopher at 10:38 AM on April 26, 2007

Well the definitive Poodle site Poodle Club -elf- (The communication site of Poodle) has nothing about it - and that's proof enough for me.

[Sorry - site in Japanese.... and a bit daggy]
posted by gomichild at 10:40 AM on April 26, 2007

It's either a fake article, or sheer stupidity on these "poodle" owners; if so, they deserve to be lambpooned.
posted by BozoBurgerBonanza at 10:40 AM on April 26, 2007

See, if it's true, I would think that the hooves would have been a dead giveaway.

On the other hand, I think it would be pretty cool to have a pet sheep as opposed to a poodle. Especially if it was trainable. I mean how excellent would it be to have a sheep that could shake hands and roll-over on command?

[Note to wife who may be reading this: We are not getting a sheep! No matter how cute they are.]
posted by quin at 10:42 AM on April 26, 2007

Smells hoaxy.
posted by darkstar at 10:42 AM on April 26, 2007

Gotta be fake.
posted by malaprohibita at 10:43 AM on April 26, 2007

"Baaaa"
"No, Fifi, woof. Woof woof."
"Baaa?"
"Come on Fifi, woof for mama!"
"Baaa!"
"FUCKING WOOF WOOF BARK DAMMIT"
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 10:46 AM on April 26, 2007 [4 favorites]

Much ado about mutton, it seems...
posted by 1f2frfbf at 10:52 AM on April 26, 2007 [2 favorites]

Does this remind anyone of Philip K. Dick's famous story Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep??

Isn't there also a passage in A Scanner Darkly where the docs are giving Bob Arctor a test and they show him a card, and he says it's a sheep, and they say it's a dog? (Or visa versa?)
posted by Dave Faris at 10:53 AM on April 26, 2007

Actually dirtynumbangelboy it probably would go more like this:

”メー”
”違う、フィフィ、ワンワン！”
”メー？”
”言うてくれないのフィフィ、ママのため”
”メー！”
”オイー！ワンワンでしょう！（＞。＜）
posted by gomichild at 10:54 AM on April 26, 2007 [5 favorites]

I've heard of "mutton served as lamb" before, but not the other way around.
posted by George_Spiggott at 10:54 AM on April 26, 2007

Looks like someone PULLED THE WOOL OVER THEIR EYES. Get it?!
posted by hypocritical ross at 10:56 AM on April 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

Hilariously enough, right when I was reading this, one of my coworkers - the type who forwards warning e-mails that have been debunked by Snopes for three years - IM'd me to say "OMG! Guess what's happening in Japan!"

And I take that as proof that this is fake.
posted by katillathehun at 10:56 AM on April 26, 2007

Is a lambpoon smaller than the thing you'd use to spear a har?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:57 AM on April 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

Well, it was in the movie.
posted by Citizen Premier at 10:58 AM on April 26, 2007

dirtynumbangelboy:

Something like this?
posted by howling fantods at 10:59 AM on April 26, 2007

Huh, a sheep in wolf's clothing.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:59 AM on April 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

Someone do a pun about tupping. Maybe like "2,000 people got tupped over" or something. Or something about the "herd mentality" maybe? Bah.
posted by hypocritical ross at 11:03 AM on April 26, 2007

and Mr_crash_davis wins!!

Thanks for playing folks, it's been real.
posted by Parannoyed at 11:07 AM on April 26, 2007

This post badly needs some LolKitteh illustrations.
posted by Artw at 11:09 AM on April 26, 2007

I don't care how unfamiliar you are with sheep. You should be familiar enough with DOGS to know that they don't have hooves. And what were they feeding these sheep?
posted by brundlefly at 11:09 AM on April 26, 2007

My sheep only eats German Shepard.
posted by baphomet at 11:13 AM on April 26, 2007

one of my coworkers - the type who forwards warning e-mails that have been debunked by Snopes for three years

Cool. You work with my mom?
posted by psmealey at 11:13 AM on April 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

With apologies to Sherman's Lagoon: Poodle, the other white meat.

But really, 1f2frfbf wins.
posted by Zinger at 11:14 AM on April 26, 2007

aww, those poor people were fleeced!
posted by paddingtonb at 11:14 AM on April 26, 2007

I'm not sure if we're really aware of the full RAMifications of this story.

Oh God I'm sorry
posted by ob at 11:17 AM on April 26, 2007

hypocritical ross: 2,000 people? Sounds like it reached the tupping point...
posted by patricio at 11:20 AM on April 26, 2007

If (big if) this is real, someone needs to get video of some GothLoli girls taking their pet lambs for walkies.
posted by CKmtl at 11:29 AM on April 26, 2007

I think this was all a (cash)mere misunderstanding... that's the worst(ed) thing about it.
posted by hypocritical ross at 11:30 AM on April 26, 2007

O HAI, SRY IMA LAM NOT A DAWG
posted by LordSludge at 11:32 AM on April 26, 2007 [3 favorites]

I SEE WHUT EWE DID DER LS
posted by quin at 11:33 AM on April 26, 2007

OK. LordSludge wins. Thank god I hadn't taken that sip of soda yet. I'd be owing my company a new LCD.
posted by Debaser626 at 11:37 AM on April 26, 2007

Fake or not, this is great. It brings a smile to my face.
posted by dios at 11:41 AM on April 26, 2007

Talk about getting fleeced! AMIRITE!?

I'm not too late am I?
posted by delmoi at 11:44 AM on April 26, 2007

Maiko Kawakami, who starred in the Japanese thriller Violent Cop

Well, there really is a Maiko Kawakami, and she really did star in a movie called Violent Cop.
posted by googly at 11:47 AM on April 26, 2007

Takeshi Kitano is a great director... I guess you could say he's got CHOPS.

Zoink!
posted by hypocritical ross at 11:51 AM on April 26, 2007

LOL SHEEPDOG!!!
posted by dgaicun at 11:55 AM on April 26, 2007

That's quite a baaaaaaaaaait and switch.
posted by Revvy at 11:55 AM on April 26, 2007

I read one article that said a woman figured out her poodle was a sheep when she took it to get its nails trimmed but they wouldn't do it for her... because the dog had HOOVES. Durrrrr.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:59 AM on April 26, 2007

Hold your horses!

This blog (Japanese) on April 18, says that the actress appeared on an afternoon tv show "Gokikenyou" and said she had heard that some people had searched online for toy poodles and bought sheep. There is no other confirmation of this happening though. Just some other bloggers going "wtf?". No mention of these 2,000 people or a company name.

So it seems to be hearsay from an actress, who mentioned it on an afternoon tv show.
posted by gomichild at 12:02 PM on April 26, 2007 [2 favorites]

Your dog, I do not mind repeating,
Shows signs of some pedigree cheating
Don't think me a sorehead
I'm sure he is purebred
But why in the fuck is he bleating?
posted by Wolfdog at 12:08 PM on April 26, 2007 [9 favorites]

Wolfdog wins by a lambslide!
posted by howling fantods at 12:14 PM on April 26, 2007

[Note to wife who may be reading this: We are not getting a sheep! No matter how cute they are.]

quin, you suck. What, do you and my boyfriend have a secret club or something? I keep telling him no one will notice if we get a sheep, but he says the city of Cleveland would, and no, we can't have chickens, either.

Meanies.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 12:18 PM on April 26, 2007

Talk about getting fleeced! AMIRITE!?

I'm not too late am I?
posted by delmoi at 11:44 AM on April 26

Well, given that the title of the article is "Dog owners get fleeced..." I'd say you're very very late.
posted by vacapinta at 12:19 PM on April 26, 2007

As fucked up as this may seem, they actually eat lambs in Korea.
posted by The Straightener at 12:30 PM on April 26, 2007

I hope this is true because it's so damn funny.
posted by crinklebat at 12:33 PM on April 26, 2007

gomichild wrote: Nah a portion of the Japanese media would have been all over a story of some devious gaijin trying to pull the wool over the eyes of the Japanese innocents.

Not saying it's real (though it would be awesome)...but the Sun article states that it was a Japanese company which pulled the scam:

"Hundreds of women contacted police to say that they had also been sold lambs instead of pedigree pups by the tricksters based in Sapporo, Japan."
posted by retronic at 12:42 PM on April 26, 2007

Hairless mexican dogs on parade!
posted by doctorschlock at 12:45 PM on April 26, 2007

Well it makes it even more dodgy seeing as Hokkaido are where all the sheep are at!

Plus something like this would have been all over the Japanese media - but not a peep apart from some blog entries about the show the actress appeared on. In some of the comments a couple of people claim it's true - but most think it's fake and that the actress just said it to get attention.
posted by gomichild at 12:51 PM on April 26, 2007

so japanese actresses are just as stupid as american actresses
posted by Flood at 12:54 PM on April 26, 2007

The plot thickens... on this blog entry from February 2, 2006 [Japanese] the exact same story is told. With different characters doing the telling.
posted by gomichild at 12:59 PM on April 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

posted by baker dave at 1:22 PM on April 26, 2007

gomichild writes "The plot thickens... on this blog entry from February 2, 2006 [Japanese] the exact same story is told. With different characters doing the telling."

Sounds like a run-of-the-mill urban legend. We have a very similar one in the US.
posted by mr_roboto at 1:23 PM on April 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

As fucked up as this may seem, they actually eat lambs in Korea.

They eat lamb most places. They're still classified as lamb even when they are as heavy as 100 pounds or so.
posted by trox at 1:48 PM on April 26, 2007

Kthnxbaaaaaaaaaaa.
posted by srboisvert at 1:57 PM on April 26, 2007

Wait, someone actually said lamb poon in a thread and there's still no sheepfucker jokes?
posted by nebulawindphone at 2:04 PM on April 26, 2007

Wait, someone actually said lamb poon in a thread and there's still no sheepfucker jokes?

LAWL SHEEPPOON!

(How's that?)
posted by katillathehun at 2:23 PM on April 26, 2007

bitter-girl.com : What, do you and my boyfriend have a secret club or something?

There is no cabal.

I keep telling him no one will notice if we get a sheep, but he says the city of Cleveland would, and no, we can't have chickens, either.

My wife is subtle and treacherous. I think she may have mind control powers; she can walk me through a flea market and see a crate of ducks and say, "Oh look Honey, look how sweet they are! You know, we have that spare bedroom, we could easily convert it to a little duck room."

And my brain is manipulated into thinking "Hey ducks are awesome, and it would be nice to have a little quacker around..." before my logic circuit kicks in with a good hard slap upside the head, reminding me that I live in a suburban tri-level which is generally not considered ideal habitat for wild-fowl.

She tried tricking me into a lamb with the old "Oh but Ele (our cattle dog) would love to have a friend to herd around..." ruse.

The woman is dangerous, I tell you.
posted by quin at 2:33 PM on April 26, 2007

Wait, someone actually said lamb poon in a thread and there's still no sheepfucker jokes?

[PICTURE OF LAMB]

I HAA-A-AS A POONTAA-A-ANG
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:08 PM on April 26, 2007

I refuse to believe this is true until I see a picture.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 3:19 PM on April 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

quin, that's nothing. I came home one day to a bathtub full of ducklings. My girlfriend gave me some sob story about saving them from immanent death or something, but I knew it was just a ruse to turn our bathroom into her own personal petting zoo.

So as the man of the household I laid down the law.

When she let me back into the apartment, we discussed it like adults. Luckily I was able to dissuade her form her intent to keep the li'l ducks, but only just barely.
posted by lekvar at 3:28 PM on April 26, 2007

Okay maybe it's not true. But did Hugh Grant really get arrested for throwing baked beans at someone?! WTF OMG.
posted by dog food sugar at 3:50 PM on April 26, 2007

im in yr kenilz...
posted by davidmsc at 5:09 PM on April 26, 2007

As fucked up as this may seem, they actually eat lambs in Korea.

Huh? Did you say this because you're a vegetarian, or because you didn't know that they eat lambs (not mutton) everywhere as well?
posted by suedehead at 5:51 PM on April 26, 2007

Ewe'd be so easy to love...
posted by lukemeister at 5:53 PM on April 26, 2007

As fucked up as this may seem, they actually eat lambs in Korea.

Huh? Did you say this because you're a vegetarian, or because you didn't know that they eat lambs (not mutton) everywhere as well?

Shhh... Listen very carefully. Hear that wooshing? That's the sound of a joke going over your head.

Throw asian dog-eating clichés together with lambs being mistaken for dogs, and voilà!
posted by CKmtl at 6:02 PM on April 26, 2007

I don't know what you're talking about. I would never want a sheep. Unless it was really cute, and really needed some rescuing. A goat would be a much better choice anyway. And the ducks are for outside. Indian runner ducks, because they don't need a pond.

Bitter-girl.com, I'm right with you on the chickens. I mean, fresh eggs right in the back yard. I'm sure the neighbors wouldn't complain (I hope).
posted by [insert clever name here] at 6:04 PM on April 26, 2007

Shhh... Listen very carefully. Hear that wooshing? That's the sound of a joke going over your head.

Awwwww, shucks. That was actually an awesome joke. *Hangs head in shame, walks out, with wool pulled over eyes*
posted by suedehead at 6:22 PM on April 26, 2007

All these puns. No wonder I'm feeling under the wether.
posted by tomble at 6:27 PM on April 26, 2007

Starting to run out of sheep puns...where are the Kiwis when you need them?
posted by Jilder at 6:42 PM on April 26, 2007

Hey, you know, this isn't funny. I once mistook a lamb for a dog, too.

And you can imagine how embarrassed I was to find out I had just had sex with a lamb.
posted by aftermarketradio at 7:00 PM on April 26, 2007

There was a similar scam in New Zealand a while back.

When the news broke, two thousand Kiwis breathed a collective sigh of relief: "Thank God! My sexuality is normal, after all!"
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:37 PM on April 26, 2007

Um, yeah. Japan has both sheep and poodles. Neither is "unfamiliar" to people here.

Urban legends must have been more fun to spawn before the internet.
posted by dreamsign at 7:43 PM on April 26, 2007

D'ewe! aftermarketradio kinda bleat me to it. I mutton't forget to read the entire thread in future.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:49 PM on April 26, 2007

Since it was my FPP, I figured I should post a followup. There's now a story making the press rounds that it may, in fact, be a hoax. That hasn't stopped a bunch of U.S. TV stations and USA Today from picking up the story, however.
posted by cerebus19 at 8:20 PM on April 26, 2007

It is a hoax.
posted by gomichild at 9:32 PM on April 26, 2007

Oh those Japanese! They're zany!
posted by moonbiter at 10:11 PM on April 26, 2007

oops I should have read cerebus19's link seeing as they quote Cerebral Soup - which is my blog...
posted by gomichild at 10:30 PM on April 26, 2007

"Poodle scam story a hoax. . . a public relations spokesman for Hokkaido police, whose jurisdiction includes Sapporo, said he had not heard of the scam."
posted by dgaicun at 11:33 PM on April 26, 2007

suedehead: Don't feel bad, it was an awesome joke, and I missed it until CKmtl explained it too.
posted by Bugbread at 12:51 AM on April 27, 2007

General rule of thumb in Japan (and perhaps the rest of the world):

If you hear an unsourced but amusing story, when you retell it, it happened to a friend of a friend of yours.
If you're an actor/actress/musician, it happened to a friend of yours.
If you're a comedian, it happened to you.
posted by Bugbread at 1:10 AM on April 27, 2007

Snopes just picked it up.
posted by iguanapolitico at 5:26 AM on April 27, 2007

Mouflon, folks. Nothing to see here.
posted by hydrophonic at 7:47 AM on April 27, 2007

FOXNews gets to the bottom of things (It's after the hard-hitting piece on Sanjaya.)

Also, MeTa. :)
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:12 AM on April 27, 2007

*sigh*

I wish I could go back a half-hour to the world where I thought this was true. That was a better place than this jaded time.
posted by Sprout the Vulgarian at 11:59 AM on April 27, 2007

”言うてくれないのフィフィ、ママのため”
hee hee hee...'tis funny because it's true.
posted by squasha at 9:29 PM on May 11, 2007