Protégez-Vous

May 2, 2007 11:36 AM

An absolutely terrifying new anti-AIDS campaign has been introduced in France. Not safe for work or arachnophobes.
posted by Partial Law (47 comments total)

*sigh* this is at least a year old :-/
posted by p3on at 11:40 AM on May 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

At least two years
posted by cillit bang at 11:43 AM on May 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

Yeah, I've seen this before, but I don't know if it was here. Wonderful ads, but then again I am a big fan of arthropods.

Not that big, though.
posted by brundlefly at 11:45 AM on May 2, 2007

These won't work for fans of the movie "Naked Lunch."
posted by Citizen Premier at 11:46 AM on May 2, 2007

Whoops. Ah well, can't win 'em all. If you haven't seen it, it's new to you!

[Hopes really hard it's not also a double.]
posted by Partial Law at 11:47 AM on May 2, 2007

Cannot sex... bugs will eat me!
posted by yeloson at 11:50 AM on May 2, 2007

Also, what's with the "e" in "AIDeS" in the French posters?
posted by Citizen Premier at 11:51 AM on May 2, 2007

The message to take away from these posters: Spiders give you AIDS.
posted by JDHarper at 11:51 AM on May 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

I would totally bone that scorpion.
posted by Mister_A at 11:53 AM on May 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

No wonder Toby McGuire is in such a pissy mood these days...
posted by Shfishp at 11:53 AM on May 2, 2007

Thanks to this thread, I probably won't let a spider with AIDS eat my pussy out tonight.
posted by The Straightener at 11:55 AM on May 2, 2007 [8 favorites]

Well when you change your mind, The Straightener, head on over to the 7-11 at Broad and Wolf; an arachnocunnilinguist resides on top of the building.
posted by Mister_A at 11:57 AM on May 2, 2007 [2 favorites]

Is that an Ikea bed? I wonder if the scorpion occasionally gets a claw stuck in between the planks under the mattress after a particularly splendid amount of sex.
posted by phaedon at 11:59 AM on May 2, 2007

Seriously though, I was about to hog out the rear on this giant scorpion, but now I'm thinking twich about it.
posted by The Straightener at 11:59 AM on May 2, 2007

I'm so hot and bothtered I catn even type.
posted by The Straightener at 12:01 PM on May 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

Yes i find them erotic these pics
By tedler on April 25, 2007 7:16 PM
posted by rxrfrx at 12:01 PM on May 2, 2007

Is that an Ikea bed? I wonder if the scorpion occasionally gets a claw stuck in between the planks under the mattress after a particularly splendid amount of sex.

Or the planks have shifted during *ahem* flight, and then the mattress falls down on one side as the planks slide out. Yes, fuck you, IKEA bed.
posted by ninjew at 12:06 PM on May 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

My spidey senses are tingling.
posted by Elmore at 12:10 PM on May 2, 2007

Citizen Premier, it is likely referring to the name of the sponsoring group or agency. "AIDS" in French is, of course, "SIDA."
posted by adamgreenfield at 12:11 PM on May 2, 2007

Also, what's with the "e" in "AIDeS" in the French posters?

The word "aides" means assistance or support. The organization has been around since '84.
posted by desjardins at 12:14 PM on May 2, 2007

"AIDS" in French is, of course, "SIDA."

... which stands for syndrome de l'immuno-déficience acquise
posted by desjardins at 12:15 PM on May 2, 2007

And just like that the French create a new fetish. (well new when the ad first ran anyway).
posted by quin at 12:21 PM on May 2, 2007

I am so turned on right now.
posted by BaxterG4 at 12:32 PM on May 2, 2007

This was on howtorockstar like over two years ago.

Metafilter: What, me Reddit?
posted by humannaire at 12:54 PM on May 2, 2007

I didn't realize AIDS was transmissable to humans from gigantic arachnid sex slaves. That could have a real chilling effect on the whole gigantic arachnid sex slave industry.

*calls broker*
posted by cortex at 12:59 PM on May 2, 2007

So, is that first ad saying that women can get HIV from receiving oral sex? Because, as far as I know, that's one of the unlikeliest ways of contracting HIV. I'm not sure there's even been a documented case of that.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 1:02 PM on May 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

Well, when the person doing the eating has frickin' huge fangs, (and no tongue?), I imagine that'd create a whole mess of openings for the AIDS-infected saliva (Thank YOU Dr. Frist!) to get through.
posted by Talanvor at 1:27 PM on May 2, 2007

Centipedes? In my vagina?
posted by Schlimmbesserung at 1:27 PM on May 2, 2007

Wait. Should I send my gigantic arachnid sex slave back? Please advise. Fortunately, it's still in the bubble wrap.
posted by miss lynnster at 1:34 PM on May 2, 2007

That's Hot!
posted by HTuttle at 1:43 PM on May 2, 2007

Arachnids are such SLUTS!
posted by HTuttle at 1:45 PM on May 2, 2007

I hate my mother.
posted by Dizzy at 4:04 PM on May 2, 2007

I foresee RealGiantScorpion dolls any day now.
posted by bwg at 4:15 PM on May 2, 2007

I still hate Dizzy's mother.
Although I've yet to know why... it just seems the right thing to do.
posted by miss lynnster at 4:30 PM on May 2, 2007

I found this don't be stupid condom ad campaign to be pretty clever and effective at getting a point across.
posted by madamjujujive at 5:42 PM on May 2, 2007

Well thats got to be about the worst thing I've seen today.
posted by nola at 6:44 PM on May 2, 2007

Did the William Burroughs estate get a royalty check for this?
posted by craniac at 6:53 PM on May 2, 2007

The fetish is probably already here... (NSFW, obviously)
posted by anthill at 7:42 PM on May 2, 2007

Or maybe this. (Very much NSFW)
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 8:00 PM on May 2, 2007

I would totally bone that scorpion.

Well, there's no one like you.
posted by jonmc at 8:19 PM on May 2, 2007

Ya know, I was wondering a while back if there was such a thing as an insect fetish. I think I googled it, and didn't find much.

I swear with all the shit around (no pun intended... as evidenced by the fchan links) there'd be more.

No, seriously, I'm not particularly concerned about it, it just occurred to me one day that maybe people get off on having creepy crawly things all over them in a Fear Factor Fetish kind of way.

After my girlfriend got wigged out, I said "See, they work, you don't want AIDS" and she said "What I don't want is spiders up my hoo-hoo!"

This all happening after a stupid ant invasion in our house of course, so she's a bit touchy on the creepy-crawlies lately.
posted by symbioid at 8:35 PM on May 2, 2007

I prefer the "Don't Be Stupid" ads. Are these scorpion ads trying to suggest that people who have AIDS are somehow non-humans, denigrated to the level of insects? Icky insects at that! What ever happened to compassion and celebrating their personhood and the freedom to make responsible sexual decisions?

Don't mind me. I went to Hampshire College - also known as Freakshow University. This... this wanting to turn everything into a struggle against the oppressors is a byproduct of an alternative curriculum filled with gender neutral pronouns celebrating the race, class, and cultural differences of all of the trustafarians enjoying a $36,000/year education.

Wait? What were we talking about? Yeah. Sex with giant spiders is gross. Unless the giant spider consents. Then it's ok.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 11:53 PM on May 2, 2007

So...

People with HIV are actually insects..

Surely after fucking a scorpion you'd be pretty dead anyway.

I know female arachnids kill and eat their partners after mating, could that be the reason why male spiders are choosing our human women-folk for casual sex?

Do I now have to spray my knob with mortein as well as use condoms, or is mortein enough?

Is arachnoerotic a suitable film genre?
posted by strawberryviagra at 11:55 PM on May 2, 2007

Well, there's no one like you.

Somewhere in Germany, Klaus Meine is smiling for reasons he cannot place.
posted by grabbingsand at 5:07 AM on May 3, 2007

Is anybody else depressed to the point of abjection that there are enough vore/furry face rape/unbirthing/"male oviposition" etc. enthusiasts on the planet to fill several fora devoted to them? (fchan links, above.) Good googly moogly.
posted by adamgreenfield at 7:57 AM on May 3, 2007

This is really giving me the horn (so to speak).
posted by strawberryviagra at 7:42 PM on May 3, 2007

Or the planks have shifted during *ahem* flight, and then the mattress falls down on one side as the planks slide out. Yes, fuck you, IKEA bed.

Hah - this is the cross I bear!
posted by coolhappysteve at 2:57 PM on May 13, 2007