My idea of pork

May 13, 2007 1:26 AM

400,000 jobs? Or 40,000 blowjobs?
posted by PeterMcDermott (42 comments total)

Is it wrong if I sign up?
posted by papakwanz at 1:30 AM on May 13, 2007

Buxom Blonde Bureaucracy? An enticing offer, for sure, but the payoff isn't great. The website supports a protest party whose candidates intend not to appear for service. On principle. No kidding. Somehow, that's going to diminish "The Man."
posted by nilihm at 1:42 AM on May 13, 2007

I'll take the blowjobs thanks. It's hard enough working just the one job. Next question?
posted by longbaugh at 1:48 AM on May 13, 2007

She's going to have a jaw the size of Desperate Dan's by the time she finishes her tour of duty.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:54 AM on May 13, 2007

The website supports a protest party whose candidates intend not to appear for service.

Modern nations run themselves these days.
posted by cowbellemoo at 1:56 AM on May 13, 2007

Won't somebody think of the children?

4 million Blow Pops.
posted by Deathalicious at 2:08 AM on May 13, 2007

cowbellemoo, that naughty observation you made in a perfectly harmless toy scandalizes me much more than the topic! No supper for you tonight!
posted by Firas at 2:10 AM on May 13, 2007

I hope I make the first 20,000 at least. After that it's a little disgusting.
posted by justgary at 2:10 AM on May 13, 2007 [2 favorites]

I was going to post something like "How come American politicans don't do this?" but then I had a mental image of Dick Cheney traveling around the country giving blow jobs and ... and ...

I'm sorry
posted by hattifattener at 2:27 AM on May 13, 2007

guess which link i clicked on first
posted by radiosig at 2:28 AM on May 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

How not serious is she?

Trust a woman to come in here and kick holes in our most cherished fantasies.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:00 AM on May 13, 2007

We adhere to high standards of service but due to time limitations each performance can last no longer than 5 minutes, no exceptions will be made under any circumstance.

5 Minutes? Who does she think I am? The Cuban Superman?

I'll be done in fifty seconds, saving 4 minutes and ten seconds for the next schlub.
posted by Joey Michaels at 3:06 AM on May 13, 2007

Joey, the reqs. also mandate a condom.

(PS. Unfortunate phraseology there Peter; when I think of kicks in what men cherish, I remember only the teetering white pain, the infernal hollow nausea. Not recommended.)
posted by Firas at 3:12 AM on May 13, 2007

I don't want to relive my college years.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:17 AM on May 13, 2007

internet
posted by secret about box at 4:36 AM on May 13, 2007

Metafilter: saving 4 minutes and ten seconds for the next schlub.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:37 AM on May 13, 2007

Mikey-San did a little homework for ya there, PeterMcDermott! A comment from his link:

A significant number of people will still think this is real.
Which means it's going to be hilarity in the making.

Indeed!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:42 AM on May 13, 2007

Attention whore
posted by kenchie at 4:49 AM on May 13, 2007

Well, somebody missed the point.
posted by Firas at 4:53 AM on May 13, 2007

A significant number of people will still think this is real.

I really wasn't counting on anyone making good on the offer. Call me unromantic, but I have trouble believing that even the hardest working crack whores deliver 80 blowjobs a day.

Good catch though, Mikey-San.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:56 AM on May 13, 2007

Call me unromantic, but I have trouble believing that even the hardest working crack whores deliver 80 blowjobs a day.

Well, I'm a romantic, and I hold out hope that you're wrong.
posted by secret about box at 5:24 AM on May 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

and I hold out hope that you're wrong.

Bet that ain't all you're holding out! hyuk, hyuck.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:29 AM on May 13, 2007

40,000 blowjobs is nothing... Bush has fucked the entire country.
posted by pruner at 7:02 AM on May 13, 2007 [5 favorites]

Ba dum TISH
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 7:48 AM on May 13, 2007

-insert François Truffaut joke here-
posted by koeselitz at 7:58 AM on May 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

I think it's cute and well done.. very good media art.

I hope she wins but also breaks her promise to not show up, by pulling various stunts, like maybe showing up naked.
posted by jeffburdges at 8:13 AM on May 13, 2007

DO NOT WA...oh, wait a minute....
posted by kittens for breakfast at 8:26 AM on May 13, 2007

A hand job is a man's job,
your job's a blow job.
posted by porn in the woods at 8:30 AM on May 13, 2007

I w dismayed to find that politics had become so political but then I reminded myself that Bush has been fucking an entire nation for a number of years and without condoms.
posted by Postroad at 8:30 AM on May 13, 2007

the end of the bj link specifies that shy or married people can receive theirs in second life. on 56k dialup, my orgasms last for two hours!
posted by bruce at 8:32 AM on May 13, 2007

I'm proud to be an American and all, but every now and then I wish I was Belgian. Today is one of those days.
posted by mds35 at 8:38 AM on May 13, 2007

Well, it's an improvement over Cicciolina.
posted by exlotuseater at 9:28 AM on May 13, 2007

Note: those who are married or shy can also choose to receive their blowjob in Second Life.

'Nuff said. If she chooses to have her avatar show up as a 300 pound, chain-smoking, Bible toting version of herself I bet she'll lose the election, though...
posted by miss lynnster at 9:50 AM on May 13, 2007

I applied.

You can never have enough sexual rejection.
posted by squidfartz at 10:17 AM on May 13, 2007

Doesn't anyone just cuddle any more?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:33 AM on May 13, 2007

I signed up right away.

I firmly believe in your god given right to place your genitalia in the mouth of a politico, foriegn or domestic.

God knows the reverse happens often enough...
posted by djrock3k at 1:14 PM on May 13, 2007

any attempt to influence the depth of insertion by the user will result in immediate end of service

Oh, well never mind then.
posted by spitbull at 2:14 PM on May 13, 2007

My dear family, guess what. Today
I found out what my special purpose is for. Gosh what a great
time I had. I wish my whole family could have been here with me.
Maybe some other time as I intend to do this a lot. Every chance
I get. I think next week I'll be able to send some more money as
I may have extra work. My friend Patty promised me a blow job.
Your loving son, Navin. (she stops reading) And he's got the
kisses here.
posted by Ironmouth at 2:27 PM on May 13, 2007

Maybe she could sub-contract? Make good on both promises?

Even though it said not to, I signed up twice. I just know I'm going to grab her head and lose the first one. It's a reflex.
posted by valentinepig at 6:48 PM on May 13, 2007

Didn't Grover Norquist suggest something similar?

(hope that thought didn't ruin it for you...)
posted by ryanrs at 7:23 AM on May 14, 2007

Could someone explain why a Belgian election results in blowjobs for the rest of the world?
posted by Caviar at 11:24 AM on May 14, 2007

she should think twice before giving all those BJ's.
posted by 2shay at 7:31 PM on May 14, 2007