Bolt ya nugget.
May 18, 2007 3:37 AM Subscribe
Bolt ya nugget. A send up of ned culture in Glasgow. [Single youtube link alert]
http://www.chavscum.co.uk/
http://www.scallycentral.com/
http://www.newcastlestuff.com/charver/masterclass.html
posted by chuckdarwin at 3:47 AM on May 18, 2007
http://www.scallycentral.com/
http://www.newcastlestuff.com/charver/masterclass.html
posted by chuckdarwin at 3:47 AM on May 18, 2007
Chuck I am not really into the stuff like chav scum because it is unnecessarily condescending and nasty. The video is funny because it is accurate, true to life and the lyrics are the perfect representation of the way many people speak in the West of Scotland. I dont think it is overly condescending or superior either.
posted by ClanvidHorse at 3:51 AM on May 18, 2007
posted by ClanvidHorse at 3:51 AM on May 18, 2007
That's s seriously fucked up scar that guys got on his face. So What's Ned Culture up to in that video anyway? Besides enjoying what appears to be a frosty cold beverage. Is he speaking chinese?
posted by gigbutt at 3:55 AM on May 18, 2007
posted by gigbutt at 3:55 AM on May 18, 2007
I dont think it is overly condescending or superior either.
Not being an expert on Glaswegian culture, I guess I'll have to take your word for it.
*thinks of shot of ned in the yt link making humping motions, rapping 'I'm gwain tae fuck yer muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum'*
posted by chuckdarwin at 3:57 AM on May 18, 2007
Not being an expert on Glaswegian culture, I guess I'll have to take your word for it.
*thinks of shot of ned in the yt link making humping motions, rapping 'I'm gwain tae fuck yer muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum'*
posted by chuckdarwin at 3:57 AM on May 18, 2007
If you want a funnier version of this video check out Devvo.
posted by muthecow at 3:58 AM on May 18, 2007
posted by muthecow at 3:58 AM on May 18, 2007
Ouch.
posted by homodigitalis at 3:59 AM on May 18, 2007
posted by homodigitalis at 3:59 AM on May 18, 2007
gigbutt writes 'Is he speaking chinese?'
Translation:
Here, mate?
Whit?
You lookin' a' mah burd?
Naw
How no?
'Tryin tae say she's ugleh ur sommat?
Ah wis like 'at: yer maw's hangin' oot the back ayer granny like 'at, yas
Ah wis like 'at: yer maw's hangin' oot the back ayer granny like 'at, yas
Ah wis like 'at: yer maw's hangin' oot the back ayer granny like 'at, yas
Ah'm gonnae pump yur maw
Here you, that'w beh right, I heard yeh tried tae bump mah stash last night
Here you, what's the fuckin' script?
You're a wee bawbag, yur jaw's gettin' ripped
Here you, ya stupi' wee daftie, dinnae wanna gie' ya one, bu' a think I'm gonnae haftae
Gonna jump aw ovur yur heed, that'w teach yeh fur stealin' mah weed
Here you, that'w be right
Here you, bowt ya nugget
Here you, that'w beh righ'
Here you, bowt ya nuggit
Ah'm gonna rip yur jaw
Ah'm goin' doon the 'toon tae see if ah geh luckeh
If I cannae get a burd, ah'll drink some mer bucky
Wash it doon wae a coupl'a piws
Ah hope 3 eccies'll cure mah ills
Ge' a quarter a pund o'Lou Reed
Ah'll wake up in the mornin', I'll probably be deed
Dinnae worreh, he's got Johnny Cash
Roger McGliff fur ma' rockin' ass
If that doesnae work ah'll get some crack
Freebasin' coke and then some smack
PCP!
Psylocibin's eh potion fur me
Here you, that'w be righ'
Here you, bolt ya nugget
Here you, that'w be righ'
Here you, bolt ya nugget
Ah'm gonna rip yur jaw
Don't gie's any'yur, don't gie's us anyur shite
Ah pumped yur maw last nigh'
Don't gie's any'yur, don't gie's us anyur shite
Ah smoked yur dope last night
Here mate, yera dick
Here mate, Yere a dick
Here you, here you, here you, bol' ya nugget
Here you, here you, that'w be righ'
Whit ya daen, ya mad fanny?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:20 AM on May 18, 2007 [1 favorite]
Translation:
Here, mate?
Whit?
You lookin' a' mah burd?
Naw
How no?
'Tryin tae say she's ugleh ur sommat?
Ah wis like 'at: yer maw's hangin' oot the back ayer granny like 'at, yas
Ah wis like 'at: yer maw's hangin' oot the back ayer granny like 'at, yas
Ah wis like 'at: yer maw's hangin' oot the back ayer granny like 'at, yas
Ah'm gonnae pump yur maw
Here you, that'w beh right, I heard yeh tried tae bump mah stash last night
Here you, what's the fuckin' script?
You're a wee bawbag, yur jaw's gettin' ripped
Here you, ya stupi' wee daftie, dinnae wanna gie' ya one, bu' a think I'm gonnae haftae
Gonna jump aw ovur yur heed, that'w teach yeh fur stealin' mah weed
Here you, that'w be right
Here you, bowt ya nugget
Here you, that'w beh righ'
Here you, bowt ya nuggit
Ah'm gonna rip yur jaw
Ah'm goin' doon the 'toon tae see if ah geh luckeh
If I cannae get a burd, ah'll drink some mer bucky
Wash it doon wae a coupl'a piws
Ah hope 3 eccies'll cure mah ills
Ge' a quarter a pund o'Lou Reed
Ah'll wake up in the mornin', I'll probably be deed
Dinnae worreh, he's got Johnny Cash
Roger McGliff fur ma' rockin' ass
If that doesnae work ah'll get some crack
Freebasin' coke and then some smack
PCP!
Psylocibin's eh potion fur me
Here you, that'w be righ'
Here you, bolt ya nugget
Here you, that'w be righ'
Here you, bolt ya nugget
Ah'm gonna rip yur jaw
Don't gie's any'yur, don't gie's us anyur shite
Ah pumped yur maw last nigh'
Don't gie's any'yur, don't gie's us anyur shite
Ah smoked yur dope last night
Here mate, yera dick
Here mate, Yere a dick
Here you, here you, here you, bol' ya nugget
Here you, here you, that'w be righ'
Whit ya daen, ya mad fanny?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:20 AM on May 18, 2007 [1 favorite]
Whatever
Ned Alphabet
More fun at Glasgow Survival, ya shower ae bawbags.
posted by Jakey at 4:30 AM on May 18, 2007
Ned Alphabet
More fun at Glasgow Survival, ya shower ae bawbags.
posted by Jakey at 4:30 AM on May 18, 2007
Is the torture that pastabagel was going on about? If so I am ready to give up a source.
posted by srboisvert at 4:37 AM on May 18, 2007
posted by srboisvert at 4:37 AM on May 18, 2007
There's nothing worse than these terrible portrayals of glesga neds with the music hall timing that's been comin out of glasgow since francie and josie - another bore joins the rab c nesbitt theatre company and will soon be appearing in river city, that crappy ghost thing on bbc scotland,whatever chewin the fat are doing now,the unfunny sketch that gets shoved as a filler into only an excuse,a goverment health advert and probably panto at the kings to succeed gerard kelly in a few decades.
Did i mention taggart ?
posted by sgt.serenity at 4:47 AM on May 18, 2007
Did i mention taggart ?
posted by sgt.serenity at 4:47 AM on May 18, 2007
Oh, dear. Most of this stuff's not very amusing, but maybe you have to live there to laugh.
Our local variant is the dres.
posted by pracowity at 4:58 AM on May 18, 2007
Our local variant is the dres.
posted by pracowity at 4:58 AM on May 18, 2007
..but maybe you have to live there to laugh.
Nope, it doesn't help.
posted by Nugget at 5:16 AM on May 18, 2007
Nope, it doesn't help.
posted by Nugget at 5:16 AM on May 18, 2007
Needs more glassing.
posted by phirleh at 5:16 AM on May 18, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by phirleh at 5:16 AM on May 18, 2007 [1 favorite]
pracowity writes 'Our local variant is the dres.'
Fascinating link, pracowity. I would never have imagined that the Eastern European variant of the chav would so closely resemble our own.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:00 AM on May 18, 2007
Fascinating link, pracowity. I would never have imagined that the Eastern European variant of the chav would so closely resemble our own.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:00 AM on May 18, 2007
You get much sweeter sassenach satisfaction if you've got friends in Glasgow who insist the city is practically the Paris of the north these days.
Can't wait to send it on!
posted by Jody Tresidder at 6:01 AM on May 18, 2007
Can't wait to send it on!
posted by Jody Tresidder at 6:01 AM on May 18, 2007
There's nothing worse than these terrible portrayals of glesga neds
Particularly when they're done in the voice of Wee Jimmy Krankie like this one was.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:11 AM on May 18, 2007
Particularly when they're done in the voice of Wee Jimmy Krankie like this one was.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:11 AM on May 18, 2007
This is being sent straight to my favorite expat Senga.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 6:33 AM on May 18, 2007
posted by Turtles all the way down at 6:33 AM on May 18, 2007
I would never have imagined that the Eastern European variant of the chav would so closely resemble our own.
Kids imitate to be cool, and mainly they imitate black American hip-hop city kids as seen on MTV. One skinny dork in Detroit borrows his fat friend's trousers and the next thing you know it's cool all around the world to wear jeans that are falling off your ass.
posted by pracowity at 6:37 AM on May 18, 2007
Kids imitate to be cool, and mainly they imitate black American hip-hop city kids as seen on MTV. One skinny dork in Detroit borrows his fat friend's trousers and the next thing you know it's cool all around the world to wear jeans that are falling off your ass.
posted by pracowity at 6:37 AM on May 18, 2007
Metafilter reacts to Glasgow-related FPP.
Anyone know where I can get orange flavoured Irn Bru in the states?
posted by fire&wings at 6:44 AM on May 18, 2007
Anyone know where I can get orange flavoured Irn Bru in the states?
posted by fire&wings at 6:44 AM on May 18, 2007
Earlier this year I stayed in the hotel seen in the background (to the left of the armadillo type building) throughout the video.
I'm from the dirty south, and I have to say I loved Glasgow. The people we're great, and so was the night-life. Thankfully I didn't meet anyone like this guy.
posted by lemonfridge at 6:48 AM on May 18, 2007
I'm from the dirty south, and I have to say I loved Glasgow. The people we're great, and so was the night-life. Thankfully I didn't meet anyone like this guy.
posted by lemonfridge at 6:48 AM on May 18, 2007
So whats the diffrence between a Ned and a Chav?
Chav is an English term, Ned is a Scottish one, but they mean the same thing.
posted by Nugget at 6:54 AM on May 18, 2007
Chav is an English term, Ned is a Scottish one, but they mean the same thing.
posted by Nugget at 6:54 AM on May 18, 2007
From that wikipedia article on Dres:
# Driving their car with the left elbow resting outside the rolled-down window. This is known as the zimny łokieć (the cold elbow).
# Love of mobile phones
# Keeping of aggressive dog breeds, such as the Pit Bull or American Staffordshire Terrier as pets (dresiarze sometimes engage in dog fights).
# Habitually eating roasted chicken, Döner kebab and McDonald's.
# Violent contempt towards: students, intelligentsia, skateboarders, long haired males, vegetarians, punk rock, heavy metal, as well as Muslims and black people.
# Excessive littering.
The "cold elbow", the roasted chicken, the excessive littering. It's fucking magic.
posted by Divine_Wino at 7:08 AM on May 18, 2007
# Driving their car with the left elbow resting outside the rolled-down window. This is known as the zimny łokieć (the cold elbow).
# Love of mobile phones
# Keeping of aggressive dog breeds, such as the Pit Bull or American Staffordshire Terrier as pets (dresiarze sometimes engage in dog fights).
# Habitually eating roasted chicken, Döner kebab and McDonald's.
# Violent contempt towards: students, intelligentsia, skateboarders, long haired males, vegetarians, punk rock, heavy metal, as well as Muslims and black people.
# Excessive littering.
The "cold elbow", the roasted chicken, the excessive littering. It's fucking magic.
posted by Divine_Wino at 7:08 AM on May 18, 2007
Anyone know where I can get orange flavoured Irn Bru in the states?
here
posted by eddydamascene at 7:10 AM on May 18, 2007
here
posted by eddydamascene at 7:10 AM on May 18, 2007
I lilke how our hero has a disturbing resemblance to a young Damon Albarn.
posted by docgonzo at 7:46 AM on May 18, 2007
posted by docgonzo at 7:46 AM on May 18, 2007
Man, that was a really small spliff.
posted by loquacious at 9:10 AM on May 18, 2007
posted by loquacious at 9:10 AM on May 18, 2007
Lovely. Reminds me of my record store days in Glasgow: "Haw mate, got any Bangin' Choons #37?"
posted by scruss at 10:36 AM on May 18, 2007
posted by scruss at 10:36 AM on May 18, 2007
Loved that! Hilarious.
White inner city boys imitating black inner city boys, who are usually abused by racist white inner city boys has always been strange to me.
Yeah, ragged scar, kind of like a knife fight scar.
Superb transliteration PeterMcDermott. Thanks.
Also so interesting to learn about the Dres culture. It reminded me of my exbf from Montenegro, who was gaga about Sergio Tacchini tracksuits when he first came to the USA in the early 90's.
posted by nickyskye at 6:06 PM on May 18, 2007
White inner city boys imitating black inner city boys, who are usually abused by racist white inner city boys has always been strange to me.
Yeah, ragged scar, kind of like a knife fight scar.
Superb transliteration PeterMcDermott. Thanks.
Also so interesting to learn about the Dres culture. It reminded me of my exbf from Montenegro, who was gaga about Sergio Tacchini tracksuits when he first came to the USA in the early 90's.
posted by nickyskye at 6:06 PM on May 18, 2007
NED #1: Good day, fine sir.
NED #2: Excuse me?
NED #1: Are you, perchance, making eyes at my girlfriend?
NED #2: No.
NED #1: Why not? Are you saying that she is unattractive?
I was inebriated on some illicit substance while performing anal sex on your grandmother! (x3)
I am going to have sexual intercourse with your mother.
I don't think so, sir
I heard you tried to steal my drugs last night
Excuse me, what's going on?
You're not a very nice person and I am going to assault you
You stupid little idiot
I don't want to hurt you but I think I'm going to have to
Going to jump on your head
That will teach you a lesson for stealing my marijuana
I don't think so, sir
You'd better run away (x3)
I am going to assault you
I'm going into Glasgow to see if anybody will have sex with me
If the women aren't interested I'll drink some more Buckie
Wash it down with a couple of pills
I know those ecstasy tablets will make me feel better
Get a (??) of cannabis
When I wake up in the morning I'll probably be dead
Don't worry, he's got some money
Roll a spiff of Moroccan hash
If that doesn't work we'll get some crack
Freebase some coke and then some smack
PCP, psilocybin's the potion for me
I don't think so, sir
You'd better run away (x3)
I am going to assault you (I don't think so)
Don't give me any of your
Don't give me any of your
Don't give me any of your nonsense
(I had sex with your mother last night)
Don't give me any of your
Don't give me any of your
Don't give me any of your nonsense
(I smoked your marijuana last night)
What are you doing, you idiot??
http://www.mankyrecords.com/lyrics.htm
Translation by http://lastyearsgirl.pixlet.net/
posted by chuckdarwin at 1:28 AM on May 19, 2007
NED #2: Excuse me?
NED #1: Are you, perchance, making eyes at my girlfriend?
NED #2: No.
NED #1: Why not? Are you saying that she is unattractive?
I was inebriated on some illicit substance while performing anal sex on your grandmother! (x3)
I am going to have sexual intercourse with your mother.
I don't think so, sir
I heard you tried to steal my drugs last night
Excuse me, what's going on?
You're not a very nice person and I am going to assault you
You stupid little idiot
I don't want to hurt you but I think I'm going to have to
Going to jump on your head
That will teach you a lesson for stealing my marijuana
I don't think so, sir
You'd better run away (x3)
I am going to assault you
I'm going into Glasgow to see if anybody will have sex with me
If the women aren't interested I'll drink some more Buckie
Wash it down with a couple of pills
I know those ecstasy tablets will make me feel better
Get a (??) of cannabis
When I wake up in the morning I'll probably be dead
Don't worry, he's got some money
Roll a spiff of Moroccan hash
If that doesn't work we'll get some crack
Freebase some coke and then some smack
PCP, psilocybin's the potion for me
I don't think so, sir
You'd better run away (x3)
I am going to assault you (I don't think so)
Don't give me any of your
Don't give me any of your
Don't give me any of your nonsense
(I had sex with your mother last night)
Don't give me any of your
Don't give me any of your
Don't give me any of your nonsense
(I smoked your marijuana last night)
What are you doing, you idiot??
http://www.mankyrecords.com/lyrics.htm
Translation by http://lastyearsgirl.pixlet.net/
posted by chuckdarwin at 1:28 AM on May 19, 2007
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