It's the next day!
May 23, 2007 9:06 PM   Subscribe

A grand allegorical account of the past four decades of human history - or something, is of interest mostly to those of us over forty, but anybody can use the help of The Amazing Dostoevsky machine (new and improved!), to get through Crime and Punishment. Great literature not your thing? Try one woman's elusive search for a marketable, filthy domain name, or check how long you've been on this planet. I'm up to 20284, and counting ...

It's all part of the quirky (insane?) Bonkworld. There's bound to be something here to "feast your sense organs"
posted by woodblock100 (5 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
I did the how many days thing and love the bonus poem:

We can count up to ten, we can count to a hundred
and these are two numbers that we understand
And we can take one, multiply by the other,
and in this way get ourselves up to a grand

But much more than that and it starts to lose meaning
the mind just can't feel the big numbers it knows
I guess it's just that we get too far away from
our trusty old friend - Mister Fingers and Toes

And so we use years when we count up our birthdays
but then there's the problem of having so few
and really it's days we have, that's what we're spending
and every day we get one - brand spanking new

So don't let too many days spin off uncounted
This year thing is nonsense, a terrible trap
We hope that each one of your days will be happy
except that there's bound to be some filled with crap

posted by Samuel Farrow at 9:37 PM on May 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

Wow, I could really have used that Dostoevsky Machine 30 years ago! I had to read Crime and Punishment in high school and I got so confoozilated by the half-dozen names each character went by, I merged the cop and the bad guy into one person. Needless to say the book didn't make any sense at all, and I never read another Russian novel. If the Dostoevsky Machine had been there when I needed it, a whole world of Russian literature could have been mine for the taking. *sob* It's hard to pose as an intellectual when you've never read Doctor Zhivago, let alone War and Peace.

Although I would absolutely name my dog Rodion Romanovich Raskolnikov, if I ever get a dog. Even if it's a girl.
posted by Quietgal at 9:58 PM on May 23, 2007


A Boris Badenov expletive I didn't get until now.

And no, I didn't just remember it -- I watched the DVD of "Buried Treasure", episode 14 just a couple of hours ago (and again a minute ago to make sure I wasn't hearing things).

"Let go, you stupid moose." (episode 13)
posted by Clave at 11:24 PM on May 23, 2007


posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:09 AM on May 24, 2007

I like it - his style is reminiscent of both John Hodgman and Henry Panky.

Which is a Good Thing, in my book.
posted by kcds at 4:32 AM on May 24, 2007

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