"I've been hit with ultrasonic bullets and ultrasonic lasers that can penetrate the human skull.
March 4, 2001 9:45 PM   Subscribe

"I've been hit with ultrasonic bullets and ultrasonic lasers that can penetrate the human skull. A good name for the ultrasonic bullets and ultrasonic lasers that can penetrate the skull are 'Skull Penetrating Ultrasonic Bullets' and 'Skull Penetrating Ultrasonic Lasers'."

I thought I was up on my conspiracy theories, but a student of mine dug up this long testimonial by a guy who claims to have been targeted by UltraSonics, a "secret police force," after installing a booming sound system in his car. Supposedly the UltraSonics use "extremely advanced surveillance, harassment, and non-lethal weapons technology" to corral neighborhood undesirables into mental hospitals. (As would follow, both pharmaceutical companies and the Department of Housing and Urban Development are identified as co-conspirators.)
posted by jbushnell (7 comments total)

Will my Deflector Beanie help me ward of these attacks?
posted by Zool at 9:59 PM on March 4, 2001

Sorry, no dice:

"Don't bother to get an aluminum foil hat. I've heard many jokes about placing aluminum foil on the body will protect a person. It won’t work . . . only vacuum (no air) barriers will accomplish this."
posted by jbushnell at 10:27 PM on March 4, 2001

of course, we already knew about this.
posted by foist at 10:48 PM on March 4, 2001

I think all this guy's problems would be solved if he'd just put the lid back on the thing and bother to read the instructions.

Side note for those of you who might be considering putting up web pages about your own conspiracies: It's not a good idea to start out by saying, "The story you will read on this web page is based on a true story." This says we should grant you the same level of credibility as the average TV movie.

Seriously, though, this page is pretty sad, as his screed is filled with many of the classic signs of schizophrenia: Obsession with secret technology. The whole "I'm not mentally ill, the devices make me so" attitude. Believing "the government" is after him. Thinking his neighbors are spying on him. Hearing voices in his head. Knowing that they follow him everywhere and zap him everywhere. Etc etc.
posted by aaron at 11:37 PM on March 4, 2001

This reminds me of an internet wacko from days gone by.

Lionel Stanislav Dunn.... (Nice initials, always made me think it was a prank.)

The URL used to be something like www.wizard.net/~lsd/

Do any of you remember him? He had a multi-hundred page missive on how the pope was causing airplane crashes and taunting him with it in his head.

I'd love to see if it's still floating around out there. Through force of will I got through the first 100 pages, and would like to finish it.

posted by smcbride at 7:56 AM on March 5, 2001

re: "this page is pretty sad"

It's true. The conspiracy theory is wacky and somewhat interesting, but if you read the whole thing what emerges is a kind of tragic portrait of a terribly confused person.

This passage, in particular, filled me with a sort of almost painful empathy:

"When the Target arrives home, for example, UltraSonics Agents will move large boxes into their house from the back of a small truck or SUV. This moving of boxes is meant for the Target to see and immediately suspect that he has caught the UltraSonics Agents in the act of moving the weapons into their house. The Target may run over and confront the UltraSonics Agents and become violent. . . . The UltraSonics Agent will call the police in an attempt to have the Target arrested. When the police arrive and the Target tells his incredible and wild story of his neighbors shooting invisible bullets at him, the UltraSonics Agents will open the boxes for the police to examine and the police will find nothing out of the ordinary."
posted by jbushnell at 9:30 AM on March 5, 2001

if these people read so much, why don't they ever read any of the studies describing such phenomena as very common symptoms of schizophrenia, hmm....oh yeah, right the NSA really did all those.
posted by DiplomaticImmunity at 12:20 PM on March 5, 2001

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