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July 1, 2007 9:52 PM   Subscribe

7-Eleven turns 12 of its locations in the United States and Canada into Kwik-E-Marts in a promotion for the upcoming Simpsons Movie, including locations in Burbank, Mountain View and Bladensburg, MD.
posted by dhammond (88 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
 
Someone please direct me to the NYC location asap!
posted by blaneyphoto at 9:56 PM on July 1, 2007


Meh - who needs a Kwik-e-Mart?
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:57 PM on July 1, 2007 [7 favorites]


Dammit, I want a six pack of Duff and a carton of Laramies!
posted by piratebowling at 9:58 PM on July 1, 2007


...whether igloo, hut, or lean-to, or a geodesic
dome, There's no structure I have been to, which I'd
rather call my home.
posted by blaneyphoto at 10:00 PM on July 1, 2007


En español.
posted by dhammond at 10:02 PM on July 1, 2007


Do they sell Pepsi Blue flavored squishies at the Kwik-E Mart?
posted by doctor_negative at 10:03 PM on July 1, 2007


Cliche-o-bot sayz: (in booming metallic voice)

"THANK YOU, COME AGAIN"
posted by parallax7d at 10:04 PM on July 1, 2007


This post suggests the Canadian location is in Coquitlam B.C.
posted by bobo123 at 10:12 PM on July 1, 2007


Call me when they start serving chutney squishees.

Oh, and don't eat the hot dogs.
posted by mazola at 11:36 PM on July 1, 2007


Holy Flurking Schnit
posted by dhammond at 11:40 PM on July 1, 2007


Ok, I'm heading to Coquitlam tomorrow to see if I can find it. The 7-11 website shows just a couple of stores so it can't be hard to find!
posted by Salmonberry at 11:44 PM on July 1, 2007


This is the Jesus of Metafilter posts.
posted by puke & cry at 11:44 PM on July 1, 2007 [3 favorites]


Oops, forget that driving around crap. The 7-11 website will show you where the Kwik-E-Marts are!
posted by Salmonberry at 11:45 PM on July 1, 2007 [1 favorite]


Where is the one in Seattle?
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:45 PM on July 1, 2007


Nevermind, found it. Thanks Salmonberry.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:45 PM on July 1, 2007


"Meh - who needs a Kwik-e-Mart?"



I.... Doooooooooo.....
posted by stenseng at 11:48 PM on July 1, 2007 [4 favorites]


Meh - who needs a Kwik-e-Mart?

I dooooooooo!
posted by Shizman at 11:49 PM on July 1, 2007 [1 favorite]






The Seattle store, and also some pictures
posted by dw at 11:54 PM on July 1, 2007


And the 7-11s in Springfield? Hello?
posted by zippy at 11:58 PM on July 1, 2007


piratebowling: Dammit, I want a six pack of Duff and a carton of Laramies!

You could buy rinky dink, full strength Duff beer in Oz for a short time. I was working in a bottleshop liquor store when it came out. I stupidly didn't buy the whole shipment.

Because the lawyers got it stopped pretty Kwik smart and the price on the collectors' market went thru the roof. I'm guessing it's been mentioned on MeFi before.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 12:00 AM on July 2, 2007


With the photos and the nifty interview with the Indian worker at the Burbank location, this has turned out to be quite the cool post. I wiiiiiiiish they changed the uniforms to Apuwear. (Apu is maybe my favorite character.) I will definitely be making a pilgrimage to the Mountain View location.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:02 AM on July 2, 2007


@ puke&cry: perhaps it is more like the Twinkie of Metafilter posts...
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:05 AM on July 2, 2007


I read this headline somewhere else on the interweb, and figured that a few stores had put up a "Quik E Mart" sign or something, but it seems they really put some thought into this. Well done, marketing team!
posted by zardoz at 12:08 AM on July 2, 2007


You could buy rinky dink, full strength Duff beer in Oz for a short time. I was working in a bottleshop liquor store when it came out. I stupidly didn't buy the whole shipment.

Because the lawyers got it stopped pretty Kwik smart and the price on the collectors' market went thru the roof. I'm guessing it's been mentioned on MeFi before.


Yes, I think it's been mentioned. It was a blatant attempt to leverage marketing synergies from The Simpsons' goodwill in the market. Probably passing off, more than outright copyright infringement. The (faux) Duff Beer lawyers tried to argue that the product had nothing to do with the hyperreal Duff Beer: "It's a natural part of the English language, like when you say 'well, that was a duff golfing stroke, what-ho old chap?'"

They somehow failed to convince the Judge.
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:27 AM on July 2, 2007


Here's the Federal Court verdict, courtesy of Harvard Law School.

You need to imagine a Rumpole-esque judge in wig & robes solemnly delivering the following kinds of findings:

7. Each member of the family has a strong and distinctive image, character traits, habits, and levels of intelligence. "Homer" and "Bart" (unlike the female family members), could not be described as endowed with much intelligence, taste or common sense. "Homer" is depicted as inept and bumbling but good natured. His preferred drink is "Duff Beer". His attachment to this beer is a prominent characteristic of his fictional personality. He is regularly depicted clutching or consuming this beer, on occasions, in copious quantities. It is fair to say that the beer and its consumption are not shown in a favourable light.
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:33 AM on July 2, 2007


As a VA/DC resident, I feel it's appropriate to say

"This isn't very convenient."
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 12:45 AM on July 2, 2007


Obscure Simpsons ReferenceFilter says: Think they opened one here?
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 12:58 AM on July 2, 2007


Okay, they get major points for Jasper in the freezer case.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:23 AM on July 2, 2007


Better get there kwik, the decor is going to disappear fast when collectors five finger it.
posted by BrotherCaine at 2:11 AM on July 2, 2007


They should have used the 7-11s in every Springfield in America.
posted by essexjan at 3:58 AM on July 2, 2007 [1 favorite]


I wonder if the new issue of "Gigantic Asses" is in yet ...
posted by RavinDave at 4:04 AM on July 2, 2007 [1 favorite]


Kum & Go is funnier than Quik-E-Mart.
posted by spock at 5:28 AM on July 2, 2007


Better get there kwik, the decor is going to disappear fast when collectors five four finger it.

There. Fixed that for you.
posted by sourwookie at 5:59 AM on July 2, 2007 [4 favorites]


This is the Jesus of Metafilter posts.

Actually, this is the Lazarus of Metafilter posts. Matt is the Jesus; efalk is Mary and Martha; the Sunday night front page of Metafilter is Bethany; and I am some unidentified bibilical-era ailment.

posted by cortex at 6:21 AM on July 2, 2007 [4 favorites]


The one in Bladensburg proves once again that John Fahey really was tapped into the godhead. How else to explain his prescient "Dance of the Invisible Inhabitants of Bladensburg"?
posted by OmieWise at 6:28 AM on July 2, 2007


That is, of course, "Dance of the Inhabitants of the Invisible City of Bladensburg."
posted by OmieWise at 6:30 AM on July 2, 2007 [1 favorite]


This post cost me five minutes of my life and I want them back!

...Never mind, I would have just wasted them anyway.
posted by PlusDistance at 7:05 AM on July 2, 2007


cortex - you're a plague of frogs!
posted by chuckdarwin at 7:09 AM on July 2, 2007 [1 favorite]


Do they have Skittlebraü?
posted by eriko at 7:26 AM on July 2, 2007


OK, now this is going to be stuck in my head all day...

Apu: oh won't you rhyme with me?
who needs the quik-e-mart
Marge: their floors are sticky-mart
Lisa: they made dad sicky-mart
BartL i'll throw a brick-e-mart
Homer: the quik-e-mart is really...... d'oh!
posted by porn in the woods at 7:36 AM on July 2, 2007


So "The Simpsons" is "rebellious" and "counterculture" eh? What's next, an episode of the TV show where Bart joins the Marines to kill ragheads for Jesus and gets a medal for raping a 14 year old girl to death? Woo-hoo, won't THAT be funny!
posted by davy at 7:48 AM on July 2, 2007


Ah! I live about 2 blocks from the los angeles location. Last night there were 4 huge search lights coming from over in that direction all night... I remember thinking, the only thing over there is a 7-11...

I'll have to check it out!
posted by outsider at 8:12 AM on July 2, 2007


davy, what the fuck are you yammering about?
posted by Greg Nog at 8:18 AM on July 2, 2007


davy, what the fuck are you yammering about?

Man, if I had a nickel for everytime I've read some variation on those words on metafilter...
posted by dersins at 8:23 AM on July 2, 2007


Metafilter: what the fuck are you yammering about?

sorry
posted by Pollomacho at 8:25 AM on July 2, 2007


I can't wait for the Try 'n' Save tie-in. Come on, Wal-Mart, I know you're up for it!
posted by feloniousmonk at 8:31 AM on July 2, 2007




Suppose "The Simpsons" shopped at a big-box department store called, oh, Box-Mart, and Wal-Mart had a big ad campaign renaming a few of its locations "Box-Mart" for a month or so. Does that make what I'm "yammering" about any clearer?

(So is "Try 'n' Save" on "The Simpsons"? If so, thanks feloniousmonk; I quit watching that show after the second or third season when it got too popular with retarded prepubes.)
posted by davy at 8:53 AM on July 2, 2007


By the way, I'm sad that I don't get to boycott or picket 7-Elevens -- thank goodness we don't have them here in Louisville, KY.
posted by davy at 8:55 AM on July 2, 2007


still yammering?
posted by cazoo at 9:03 AM on July 2, 2007


The Mountain View location has apparently not changed over yet, at least according to street view.
posted by Big_B at 9:03 AM on July 2, 2007


Maybe not so much with the yammer-measuring contest, guys.
posted by cortex at 9:06 AM on July 2, 2007


Does that make what I'm "yammering" about any clearer?

Frankly, no. Are you having a stroke?
posted by Greg Nog at 9:09 AM on July 2, 2007 [1 favorite]


Try 'n' Save.

Not that I particularly enjoy playing tennis with walls, but basing your decision on whether or not to like something on who else likes it is not something I'd shout from the rooftops.
posted by feloniousmonk at 9:13 AM on July 2, 2007


argh, I can't believe it, 3 simpson's albums, none of them with the kwik-e-mart song.
posted by nomisxid at 9:25 AM on July 2, 2007


Joe Quimby Ted Kennedy Backs City's 'Simpsons Movie' Campaign.

USA Today: Springfield Challenge -- "14 aptly named cities vying for 'Simpsons' opener (watch the videos and vote)".
posted by ericb at 9:28 AM on July 2, 2007


Big_B: are you under the impression that Google Maps updates more frequently than Flickr?
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 9:42 AM on July 2, 2007


I quit watching that show after the second or third season when it got too popular with retarded prepubes.
So when did you quit reading MetaFilter, davy? Because obviously the best way to judge the quality of a media entity is the quantity of "retarded prepubes" in its fanbase.

And one of the trailers already revealed the four states you can see from the top of Mt. Springfield: Ohio, Nevada, Maine and Kentucky. The facts that two of those states are actually next to each other AND both are contenders in the Hometown Premiere Contest sure seem to be clues as to the 'true location' of Simpsons Springfield. (I have long suspected Ohio. Then again, they could change the scene before the movie premieres to show four different states, the bastards.)
posted by wendell at 9:51 AM on July 2, 2007


I just got back from the Times Square store... Awesome. Had to buy a 6 pack of Buzz and a few other things!
posted by blaneyphoto at 10:32 AM on July 2, 2007


The Simpsons: Songs In The Key Of Springfield has the Kwik-E-Mart song, along with loads of other classics.
posted by uri at 10:34 AM on July 2, 2007


Kum & Go is funnier than Quik-E-Mart.

Also known as:*
Jizz and Jet
Spooge and Split
Ejaculate and Evacuate

*By my friends as a teenager who spent many a bored night in Denny's thinking about such things.
posted by TungstenChef at 10:44 AM on July 2, 2007 [1 favorite]


are you under the impression that Google Maps updates more frequently than Flickr?

Nah, just looked it up and thought I'd share.
posted by Big_B at 10:50 AM on July 2, 2007


TungstenChef: Yeah, my cousin in Buffalo, WY called the local "Kum & Go" a "Jizz 'n' Jet". Made more hilarious because he called it that to customers when he used to work there.

That out of the way, I have to say that I haven't really like the last few seasons of the Simpsons but I still think this is a cool marketing scheme and will probably check out the Bladensburg one at some point.
posted by malthas at 11:20 AM on July 2, 2007


The Simpsons: Songs In The Key Of Springfield has the Kwik-E-Mart song, along with loads of other classics.

The Kwik-E-Mart song can also be found on the punk/hardcore tribute album "This is Springfield, Not Shelbyville" - track 36. self link note...My band contributed track 6.
posted by blaneyphoto at 11:46 AM on July 2, 2007


I object to the whole corporate tie-in thing, and the ubiquitous T-shirts and other merchandise. It's just another advertising gimmick. At least Bill Watterson had some frigging taste.

Of course people for whom "in your own words" means "quoting lines from your favorite TV show" won't get it.
posted by davy at 12:10 PM on July 2, 2007


I think we "got it" by the tone of your first comment, but thanks for sharing. Again.
posted by Big_B at 12:36 PM on July 2, 2007


Whoa, whoa, whoa... you're saying that TV shows and movies have their own advertisements now? Surely you jest, sir.
posted by Greg Nog at 12:55 PM on July 2, 2007


I kind of want to give davy a hug.

It has to be super hard getting through the day with that much outrage about, you know, everything. I figure there's enough actual stuff to be angry about.
posted by kbanas at 12:56 PM on July 2, 2007


I kind of want to give davy a hug.

When you're done, I'm gonna give him a frosty chocolate milkshake to cushion the blow and then I'll try to explain to him that The Simpsons is, was and ever shall be a wholly owned product of News Corp.

I fear it may shatter his psyche, and then he won't believe in anything at all any more. He might even resort to law school. (That's in my own words and quoting from my favourite TV show. I am indeed little more than a tool of the Entertainment-Industrial Complex.)
posted by gompa at 1:05 PM on July 2, 2007


::takes deep breath::
::counts to one hundred::
::imagines self as palm tree::
::takes deep breath again::
::is as calm as calm can be::

blaneyphoto, would you be so kind as to tell us all where we can hear that CD? Thank you ever so much.
posted by Faint of Butt at 2:04 PM on July 2, 2007


I heartily endorse this product or service.
posted by mathis23 at 2:36 PM on July 2, 2007


Faint of Butt - one song here. A few other songs here. And one more here. I'm sure the rest are out there if you poke around a bit. And then there's always limewire, etc.
posted by blaneyphoto at 2:42 PM on July 2, 2007


This particular Seattle store was also the setting for a Real Stuff comic by Dennis Eichhorn!
posted by Tube at 4:58 PM on July 2, 2007


My co-workers and I just got back from the Burbank Kwik-E-Mart. 7-11 is going to make a mint off this promotion. They'd sold out of the Simpsons novelty items (cereal, soda) once or twice that day already and were restocking as we got in the line -- which stretched around the store. The side of the store was even spraypainted with Seymour Skinner's head and the words "Skinner Stinks!" and the signature "Barto". They really had some great subtle touches in the store, too, like a small Quimby For Mayor sign on the employees breakroom door. Lots of people were there, and my co-worker got interviewed for KTLA news. The FOX Marketing department did a really, really nice job on this one.
posted by Asparagirl at 5:14 PM on July 2, 2007


mmmmm donuts... those look sooo goood.....
posted by ch1x0r at 8:37 PM on July 2, 2007


I understand "The Simpsons" always been a corporate product. You're still not getting MY objection, gompa.

Maybe bugbread will explain/translate for me? He does such a good job of that sometimes.
posted by davy at 9:06 PM on July 2, 2007


I quit watching that show after the second or third season when it got too popular with retarded prepubes.

Your favorite show sucks!
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 9:36 PM on July 2, 2007


P.S. I went to the Times Square Kwik-E-Mart today, with a 13-year-old. We had a blast, bought Squishees and Buzz Cola, and got interviewed and photographed by the NY Post.
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 9:37 PM on July 2, 2007


Lots of people were there, and my co-worker got interviewed for KTLA news.

We had a blast, bought Squishees and Buzz Cola, and got interviewed and photographed by the NY Post.


This particular Seattle store was also the setting for a Real Stuff comic by Dennis Eichhorn!


THIS POST IS CHANGING PEOPLES' LIVES.
posted by dhammond at 10:44 PM on July 2, 2007 [1 favorite]


Photos of Manhattan's Kwik-E-Mart here, including a nice tableau of Ralph Wiggum, a frozen Jasper Beardley, and Comic Book Guy. (<-- Mmmm... self-linkage.)
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 11:06 PM on July 2, 2007


I bought a 6-pack of Buzz Cola. The cans are pretty, but it's just coke (the ingredients and trademark info are all the same).
posted by tehloki at 4:31 AM on July 3, 2007


I don't think it's Coke. It tasted sweeter, like Royal Crown or something.
posted by thejoshu at 5:34 AM on July 3, 2007


Well, I was high enough to buy a 6-pack of it, so I was probably high enough to mistake it for coca-cola.
posted by tehloki at 7:14 AM on July 3, 2007


I understand "The Simpsons" always been a corporate product.

Never! {vid}
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 1:11 PM on July 3, 2007


Thanks, UbuRoivas.

ps: Laffing at all the funny people winding-up davy. Sorry, davy.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 9:46 PM on July 3, 2007


I went to the Mountain View Kwik-E-Mart on July 4th. It was cute, but still basically a 7-11.
posted by BrotherCaine at 6:49 AM on July 5, 2007


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