Hey fatass play some wii
July 12, 2007 12:02 PM   Subscribe

Hey fatass get off the couch and play some videogames.
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth (50 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Boy who'd've thought Nintendo would come back from the dead. This post is just another little cerebral hemisphere keeping zombie Nintendo going.
posted by Mister_A at 12:07 PM on July 12, 2007

This shit just sold me. I know. I should be cynical and say something like "hey, finally, an alternative to fresh air" but I just can't. This looks awesome. I want it.
posted by mckenney at 12:09 PM on July 12, 2007

A case mod using a Fleshlight can't be far away.
posted by rolypolyman at 12:09 PM on July 12, 2007

Hey, I like Nintendo as much as the next guy, and I'd love to get my hands on a Wii....

But the news of Wii Fit (which I've already read about three times on Digg) doesn't really strike me as FPP-worthy. *shrugs*
posted by Zephyrial at 12:10 PM on July 12, 2007

Way to tease us. They won't even come out here until next year...
posted by Liosliath at 12:12 PM on July 12, 2007

What charming language. What's your BMI, PostIrony?
posted by SaintCynr at 12:14 PM on July 12, 2007

Holy shit.

I don't follow video game news much anymore, and maybe that's been out for a while, but I have to say that thing is just brilliant I mean, they can really pull a lot of information about your body out of those, what, six degrees?

Imagine a snowboarding game using that thing, and when you add in a wiimote the amount of immersion in a game would be pretty incredible.
posted by delmoi at 12:14 PM on July 12, 2007

Nintendo's secret to profit must be in peripheral sales.
posted by NationalKato at 12:16 PM on July 12, 2007

They should put a weight readout on it. Italready looks exactly like my bathroom scale.

Or maybe I should just put my scale in front of the tv and pretend I'm hula hooping on it.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:18 PM on July 12, 2007 [3 favorites]

My BMI is 7 megapixels over the national average.
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 12:19 PM on July 12, 2007

I hope my upstairs neighbor doesn't see this...
posted by peeedro at 12:22 PM on July 12, 2007

Well, yeah, I want one, but considering I have yet to walk into a store and actually lay eyes on a Wii for sale, I'm not sure what I'd do with it.
posted by Prospero at 12:23 PM on July 12, 2007

Why do I have to get off the couch? I'll just plant it on the sofa under my enormous ass and just rock back and forth like the overbese queen termite that I am.
posted by hermitosis at 12:23 PM on July 12, 2007 [7 favorites]

Also if you want a Wii, check Craigslist, I'm in LA and had no trouble getting one.
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 12:24 PM on July 12, 2007

Nintendo's secret to profit must be in peripheral sales.

It very well could be. Packaging the peripheral with a game makes the deal look even better (for example: Wii Play). Nintendo sells the Remote separately, and the Virtual Console controller separate from both of those.

Back on topic: this could be very cool. As with the Wii itself, only time will tell. Can anyone besides Nintendo make any good games for the Wii?
posted by triolus at 12:25 PM on July 12, 2007

You know who else probably spends way too much time on their couch? Yeah, you guessed it.
posted by miss lynnster at 12:26 PM on July 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


actually Nintendo's secret to profit is to make a profit on everything they sell. They've been making about 75 bucks/Wii since day one, unlike Microsoft and Sony which swallow large initial losses and try to make the system profitable by year three

But back on topic, this thing is going to be interesting to watch. They already have the wii in nursing homes, now just imagine it in fitness clubs. Moms fighting the kids for the Wii so they can do their step aerobics. Nintendo is making me very happy to own their stock.
posted by slapshot57 at 12:27 PM on July 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

triolus, exactly. The Wii seems to be positioned to be an accessory platform for toys and gadgets.

I'm not dissing the Wii, honest. It's bringing videogaming into the household like never before and broadening the audience for gaming in general.
posted by NationalKato at 12:30 PM on July 12, 2007

Nintendo blue
posted by caddis at 12:31 PM on July 12, 2007

Nintendo's making the other two look like total jerks with their insane ideas. I hope you'll be able to use the wiimote and chuck with this. I COULD GO SKIING OR SOME GODDAMN THING I DO NOT KNOW
posted by boo_radley at 12:31 PM on July 12, 2007

Can anyone besides Nintendo make any good games for the Wii?

my friends and I play little else than Tiger Woods, which when hooked up to my projector is basically a gold simulator. Good game for 4+ people plus the hand job motion you have to use to put on backspin is fun/embarassing for boys and girls. good times
posted by slapshot57 at 12:33 PM on July 12, 2007

Can anyone besides Nintendo make any good games for the Wii?

It's not original as such but the Wii translation of Resident Evil 4 is supposed to work very very well, and that's an incredibly good game. Capcom, of course.
posted by nthdegx at 12:40 PM on July 12, 2007

Curses! Another Haimburglement! I assume.
posted by Mister_A at 12:46 PM on July 12, 2007

Can anyone besides Nintendo make any good games for the Wii?

Cooking Mama and Monkey Ball come immediately to mind. But I've only had my Wii for three days.

For those who're looking: craigslist is great, not because you can buy an aftermarket console for a 25% mark-up, but because people will post there when the big online retailers have them in stock. Last Thursday someone posted that futureshop.ca had some. They had 35 left when I started my order and 18 left when I finished it. Without the tip-off, I'd have missed it.

ObTopic: this looks like fun. The Wii can be a surprising workout; WiiSports Boxing is not a sedentary experience when I've got the controllers in my hands. Between WiiSports, WiiFit and the drum kit in the forthcoming Rock band game, gamers have a full-body workout plan.
posted by solid-one-love at 12:49 PM on July 12, 2007

The video implies that this machine is best used by the individual or family - at home. If this shit makes it to yoga classes in Los Angeles, somebody's going to be rolling in money.
posted by phaedon at 12:49 PM on July 12, 2007

I wish the guy who made Shadow of the Colossus and Ico wasn't tied to Sony.
posted by jiiota at 12:53 PM on July 12, 2007

WiiSports Boxing is not a sedentary experience when I've got the controllers in my hands.

One of my fondest wishes for WiiSports has been the inclusion of some sort of foot controls for Boxing in particular to move around. Boxing is the biggest workout of WiiSports for me, but think of how much more if you had to get your foot work down also. But really all of them could have it. I had been thinking a DDR pad, but the Wii Fit board might work even better. I know it's probably too late for WiiSports, but think of the future!

And yes, RE4 is great for the Wii. Even though they retrofitted the Wiimote controls, they work well. As for other non-Nintendo games, I've read a couple of plays that Madden '07 was "best" on Wii since the Wiimote actually added to the experience, but I haven't played it. I'm tempted to get '08 since it appears they've refined the controls so it might be worth playing.
posted by skynxnex at 12:54 PM on July 12, 2007

They did the exact same thing with the original NES. How is this at all surprising?
posted by Ndwright at 1:02 PM on July 12, 2007

You may get your wish re: the foot thing. Remember, the Wii isn't even a year old yet. This fall/winter Nintendo is making a huge push with a number of big-name titles rolling out. The titles we've seen so far, being the very first on a very new system, aren't anywhere near taking full advantage of the new control scheme, since they're basically just modified from older systems. Twilight Princess, for instance, while great, was a holdover from the GC. With the games coming out now that have had time to study and build around the new controls, you're going to see some amazing things. The next Metroid, for instance, should be a really intense experience.
posted by Sangermaine at 1:04 PM on July 12, 2007

does anyone else see this getting really grody after a few weeks/months worth of use? I mean, I have pretty clean feet and all, but they're still feet, right?
posted by indiebass at 1:12 PM on July 12, 2007

I love this I love this I love this! I got a Wii in May and we've all been loving it, but I've been wishing it had a personal trainer sort of thing. I am so getting this.

Also, the new Harry Potter Game is great. Very immersive and the wand waving is a natural fit with the wiimote. Much better than trying to use a mouse!
posted by Biblio at 1:14 PM on July 12, 2007

delmoi: Imagine a snowboarding game using that thing

I am, and in my head it is the greatest thing ever. Hell, it could even make skiing games super fun. (I say this as an avid skier who always thought skiing games sucked balls).
posted by malthas at 1:16 PM on July 12, 2007

Freakin' awesome. I got my Wii about two weeks ago and the day after I got it my friends and I had an 8-hour bowling and baseball playing tournament, followed the next day by sore arms and backs. Why sore? Because we were running around and swinging like goddamn idiots and getting really into the game. It was a total workout and I'm torn between saying I'm both ashamed and happy that my upper arms have become noticeably more toned since my daily Wii habit began.

Also, I really like that chaise lounge in the background of the blue-shirted-yoga lady picture.
posted by banannafish at 1:19 PM on July 12, 2007

Bah, forget skiing and snowboarding - when are they going to make a realistic surfing game?
posted by NationalKato at 1:19 PM on July 12, 2007

why do they tease you with this stuff when you can't even find any wii's in the stores? :(
posted by cazoo at 1:20 PM on July 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

Yes, NationalKato, that's exactly what I was thinking.
posted by Relay at 1:38 PM on July 12, 2007

I hate we'll have to wait a year for it in the states. Since Mario Kart Wii also comes with a steering wheel, I'm going to go on a limb and say Nintendo is going to make a bundle of accessories. And I was already have sticker shock with the thought of built 2 more wiimote and nunchuk bundles for smash brothers.
posted by absalom at 1:48 PM on July 12, 2007

The key to getting people to exercise, IMO, is to not make them focus on the exercise. I remember running for miles as a half-back in soccer, but I didn't really notice it because I was chasing a stupid ball.

Think about a MMORPG, World of Warcraft type game, but where you have to walk/jog/run in place on the pad to move around in the world -- and your character's in-game speed is proportional to your own. (I wonder if the pad can stand up to extended jogging.) Wouldn't it be great to emerge from an online gaming session... utterly exhausted??

My sick, twisted drinkin buddy suggests a whole new genre of Wii interactive pr0n, including the smash multiplayer hit: Wii Gang Bang 2010
posted by LordSludge at 2:02 PM on July 12, 2007

This is genius. It doesn't matter if the Wii is just two Gamecubes taped together in terms of graphics power, because that DOESN'T MATTER ANY MORE.

Nintendo just decided, "You know, this is way cooler than photorealistic graphics" and whoops: they're right. Sony's stuck just like Sega was when Sega made their sprite-pushing Saturn. The Saturn could render sprites like nobody's business. It could probably still go toe-to-toe with more modern consoles for 2D graphics. But Sony beat them to the punch because whoops, 3D is now the new standard.

Well, now interactivity is the new standard. Casual gamers that would never think of picking up a controller is the new standard. And Nintendo has em' beat dead to rights.

I need to get some Nintendo stock.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 2:14 PM on July 12, 2007

Lately the primary use of my Wii has been to watch other Mefites Miis wander around my screen.

I didn't expect to so readily embrace a completely new controller style, but it really is remarkably intuitive. I bet that the foot controller will be just a further extension of this.

The one thing I'm dreading is when someone takes a video of me playing. In the privacy of my head, I'm a great warrior wielding my sword and bow, I suspect that in reality my frantic flailing around will be less than impressive. Though probably very, very funny to everyone but me.
posted by quin at 3:03 PM on July 12, 2007

After seeing my kids boxing on a friends' Wii, I have to get a console now. Nevermind that we already have the PS3 and the Xbox360--I have never laughed so hard during a videogame as when my son was trying to punch his friend...
posted by misha at 3:52 PM on July 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

If they just combined the iGallop with the wiimote, and you could ride around like Genghis Khan, chopping people's heads off.
posted by Citizen Premier at 3:52 PM on July 12, 2007

My Wii broke last week. I had to send it overseas. My replacement arrived today. Now, that's fit.
posted by Elmore at 4:02 PM on July 12, 2007

The control pad surface will need to be at least 5ft X 5ft before it will really lend itself to free movement. Once they produce that a boxing or kick boxing game could be great. then you actually could use real foot work. Pair it with a how-to DVD on technique and simple drills and you could have a revolution in home training.
posted by tkchrist at 5:00 PM on July 12, 2007

I just want a Pogo Balâ„¢.
posted by churl at 6:52 PM on July 12, 2007

This is still a lame advertising post.
posted by caddis at 7:31 PM on July 12, 2007

They don't dance like black people.
posted by stavrogin at 9:53 PM on July 12, 2007

Damn, so much for my lazy wii tennis method of slightly flicking my wrist.

I heard Mario Cart will have some steering wheel accessory. Give it a couple years and the "Wii Controllers" isle will be longer than the one with actual games.
posted by Defenestrator at 11:11 PM on July 12, 2007

I have had zero interest in getting any kind of game console, but now? My fat ass wants one.
posted by deborah at 11:16 AM on July 13, 2007

I like how they had the black people doing the dancing and the asian (?) lady doing the quasi-yoga looking thing.
posted by dihutenosa at 7:26 PM on July 13, 2007

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