Spidey Sez: Masturbation won't make you insane or harm you in any other way.
July 26, 2007 10:27 PM   Subscribe

Unfortunately, Webhead and PP do not fight each other before realizing they have a common foe, and I doubt we'll be seeing an inter-company crossover between Safe Sex Spidey and Christian Archie anytime soon.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:29 PM on July 26, 2007

Well duh, what did you think Spiderman would do?
posted by blue_beetle at 10:37 PM on July 26, 2007

There's a lot of truth in that comic, but at the same time, I thought that the baby stealing alien made a lot of good points also, and maybe the people of the 1970s weren't ready to hear an alien speaking truth like that.
posted by jonson at 10:41 PM on July 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

bendis is going to retcon this so gwen got preggers and kraven wants the baby but doc conners does an abortion and ....oh hell i should just go to sleep now.

great post.
posted by vrakatar at 10:48 PM on July 26, 2007

in episode 2, sophia, prodigy's mother, disowns him as being lion faced and attempts to draw light back within herself with the help of spiderman, bishop pike, valis and philip k dick

i don't know if this is a sex-ed comic or a hidden gnostic text
posted by pyramid termite at 10:57 PM on July 26, 2007

Then, as now, it wasn't easy being green.
posted by rob511 at 11:12 PM on July 26, 2007

What well do you expect from a sexual abused Peter Parker?
posted by wfrgms at 11:57 PM on July 26, 2007

Er... what well = well, what... ugh
posted by wfrgms at 11:59 PM on July 26, 2007

Nice gesture from Marvel Comics to provide their readers with advice on safe sex & contraception, but somehow I think they were preaching to the wrong audience.
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:00 AM on July 27, 2007 [5 favorites]

A well of tears, wfrgms, a well of tears.

(and maybe a woman at the bottom of the well, being passed moisturising lotion in a bucket at the end of a rope)
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:02 AM on July 27, 2007 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: What jive stuff this turkey hands out!
posted by EarBucket at 3:43 AM on July 27, 2007 [1 favorite]

I have to wonder what sort of outraged response from the reactionary Christian Right this would provoke if released today. Sad, really. I doubt Stan Lee would be able to pull this off now without having to deal with major backlash.

Great post, Alvy. Thank you.
posted by zarq at 4:45 AM on July 27, 2007

posted by kittens for breakfast at 5:07 AM on July 27, 2007

next: spidey explains you how is babby formed, how girl get pragnent.
posted by darkripper at 7:04 AM on July 27, 2007

Spiderman, Spiderman,
Does whomever a spider can.
Spins a web, any size,
Baby Mamas just like flies.
Look Out!
Here cums the Spiderman.

Is he strong?
Listen punk,
He's got radioactive spunk.
Can he swing from a thread?
Ties them up to his bed.
Hey, there -
There goes the Spiderman.

In the chill of night,
He will fill her need.
By soft candle light,
He wil plant his demon seed.

Spiderman, Spiderman-
Inappropriately touching Spiderman.
Wealth and fame,
He's ingnored.
Hot teen action is his reward.

To him, life is a great gang bang-up
Whenever there's a danger of sweet poontang, ah-
That's where you'll find the Spider man!

[crossposted from here]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:39 PM on July 27, 2007 [1 favorite]

posted by Busithoth at 10:43 AM on July 28, 2007

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