Strangelove's Doomsday: fiction meets facts

September 3, 2007 7:32 AM

Dr. Strangelove's Doomsday device may be more fact than fiction. We've had doomsday stories here before, but what if dead hand control of nuclear devices is real? Perhaps live-hand control is better. You could always try your hand at a nuclear apocalypse.
posted by craven_morhead (25 comments total)

"too many humans.. we need... a nuclear waaaaaaaaaaar"
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 8:03 AM on September 3, 2007

On the dance flooooooor!
posted by psmealey at 8:04 AM on September 3, 2007

Didn't it come out some time ago that all those launch codes on the the nuclear missiles were set to 000000, out of fear someone would bungle the input during an emergency?
posted by StickyCarpet at 8:05 AM on September 3, 2007

all those launch codes on the the nuclear missiles were set to 000000

So you're saying that Diebold was the contractor?
posted by signal at 8:06 AM on September 3, 2007 [1 favorite]

On the dance flooooooor!

I'm pretty sure you mean "at the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar".

(And yeah, DEFCON still rocks.)
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:14 AM on September 3, 2007 [1 favorite]

Oh, thank you so much for posting this. It makes me feel like a kid again! It's like running in to an old friend from grade school. Global Thermonuclear Warfare, how I miss thy sweet threat.

It seems like forever since I heard the sweet wail of an air-raid siren test. The test of the warning that the world was about to end. Trumpet of Death!
posted by Goofyy at 8:22 AM on September 3, 2007

"What's the combination?"
"1-2-3-4-5"
"1-2-3-4-5?"
"1-2-3-4-5"
"That's amazing! That's the same combination I have on my luggage!"
posted by craven_morhead at 8:23 AM on September 3, 2007

Kinetic Bombardment for the win.
posted by slimepuppy at 8:50 AM on September 3, 2007

Everybody get down! Get up! Get down! Get up for the get down!
posted by Citizen Premier at 8:54 AM on September 3, 2007

Alternatively,
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself NUKULAR WEAPONS!"
posted by Citizen Premier at 8:57 AM on September 3, 2007

This is not a chawade. Do you understand me?
posted by Eideteker at 9:21 AM on September 3, 2007

(Music video. Inspiration.)
posted by Eideteker at 9:25 AM on September 3, 2007

I've always kind of wondered how an electromagnetic pulse strike and a dead hand mechanism would interact.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:54 AM on September 3, 2007

They'd get mad at each other.
posted by craven_morhead at 9:55 AM on September 3, 2007

and then fall in love, in the kookiest romance of the season...
posted by geos at 11:44 AM on September 3, 2007 [3 favorites]

Of course, the whole point of a Doomsday Machine is lost, if you keep it a secret! Why didn't you tell the world, EH?
posted by furiousxgeorge at 11:53 AM on September 3, 2007

Saudi Arabia supposedly has a doomsday plan as well.
posted by empath at 11:57 AM on September 3, 2007

I got it right away Eideteker.

Anyway, how odd ... this article was waiting for me in my inbox this morning, sent by a friend ... what a fun day off I'm going to have.
posted by Relay at 12:08 PM on September 3, 2007

That DEFCON game is very unrealistic precisely because a real nuclear war would not be very interesting to play out. With dozens of missiles each on subs that are virtually impossible to find and no effective missile defences, any large scale exchange would obliterate both sides, even before secondary effects like nuclear winter set in.

See also:

Apocalypse Soon
By Robert S. McNamara
posted by sindark at 12:36 PM on September 3, 2007

Well, Defcon presupposes a missile defense, ala Star Wars / Bush's failed programs. With that in place, the idea of a continent surviving the initial attacks is at least plausible. Nuclear winter is still no ball of happiness, but when everybody runs out of nukes, the game is over.

Also, note that the tagline of the game is "everybody dies."
posted by craven_morhead at 1:17 PM on September 3, 2007

Why didn't you tell the world, EH?

He was planning a big Labor Day surprise, but someone had to go ahead and spill the beans.
posted by lodurr at 2:20 PM on September 3, 2007

Boom goes London and boom Paree'
More room for you and more room for me
And every city the whole world round
Will just be another American town
Oh, how peaceful it will be
We'll set everybody free
You'll wear a Japanese kimono
And there'll be Italian shoes for me

They all hate us anyhow
So let's drop the big one now
Let's drop the big one now
posted by edgeways at 3:39 PM on September 3, 2007

So this is it? We're all going to die?
posted by pompomtom at 9:35 PM on September 3, 2007

Yippee!
posted by Reggie Digest at 8:46 AM on September 4, 2007

"Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops. Uh, depending on the breaks."
posted by kirkaracha at 9:46 AM on September 4, 2007