Survive the Street

September 11, 2007 8:28 PM

Street Survival: Learn to survive a knife attack, a blunt instrument attack, and a two on one attack in five minutes or less. Note: Don't miss the lively real life examples at the end of the videos.
posted by roaring beast (47 comments total)

You're still not attacking me properly......
posted by longsleeves at 8:37 PM on September 11, 2007 [4 favorites]

I really appriciate the disclaimer at the front of the knife attack video -- it echoes what my self-defense expert friend has told me. It's not about avoiding getting cut, it's about staying alive.
posted by Bookhouse at 8:37 PM on September 11, 2007

Defending against the Rugby Lunge

That's the one I'm most worried about.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:40 PM on September 11, 2007

I hope he puts up a video playing knifey-spoony.
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 8:42 PM on September 11, 2007

crap. I meant "puts up a video explaining how to play knifey-spoony."
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 8:43 PM on September 11, 2007

"...with a banana!"
"What about pointed sticks?"
"Shut up."
posted by ZachsMind at 8:51 PM on September 11, 2007 [1 favorite]

Oh yeah, but what do you do if someone attacks you with a piece of fresh fruit?
posted by Schmucko at 8:51 PM on September 11, 2007

what about the attack where's like 50 guys but they only charge you one at a time?
posted by drjimmy11 at 8:52 PM on September 11, 2007

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_vvI26NnwE

Jim Carrey on karate self-defense for women
posted by longsleeves at 8:54 PM on September 11, 2007

I prefer Bas Rutten's advice. (1 hour 44 minute video - yay DailyMotion!)
posted by redteam at 8:55 PM on September 11, 2007

Some of those actually don't look too bad, but it's hard to really judge without trying them in practice.

The worst problem with videos like this is that they give people a false sense of security..as he alluded to in the knife video, sometimes fighting back isn't the best option. Hopefully people won't watch videos like this and think that they can all of a sudden fight off multiple attackers easily.

That said, I thought they were interesting. Good post.
posted by DMan at 9:01 PM on September 11, 2007

I take my advice on How Not To Die from SAS guy Chris Ryan. It's a surprisingly sensible show, actually, and it's worth catching if any of your cable channels carry it.
posted by maudlin at 9:04 PM on September 11, 2007

DrJimmy11: "what about the attack where's like 50 guys but they only charge you one at a time?"

That was like my favorite scene in Kill Bill Part One!
posted by ZachsMind at 9:13 PM on September 11, 2007

The most important thing to note comes from the "real life" dramatizations: if you are minding your own business and you suddenly hear some low pads on a synthesizer, put up your dukes, there is a villain close by.
posted by redteam at 9:15 PM on September 11, 2007 [1 favorite]

The worst problem with videos like this is that they give people a false sense of security..
DMan
I came in to say the same thing. Every time I read or see these quick guides to fighting or survival, all it does is create this fantasy that I will be able to use these techniques to be a bad-ass. In reality, if someone had a knife to my neck, I doubt I would be thinkings strategically about the placement of my arms and what moves to use, but rather, "Holy shit, this guy's got a knife on my neck!" It seems like all these things do is encourage some wannabe Bruce Lee to get himself killed or seriously injured during a mugging or a bar fight.
posted by Sangermaine at 9:24 PM on September 11, 2007

These are awesome. I especially like the reenactment clips at the end. "I don't see any kids!"
posted by tiger yang at 9:27 PM on September 11, 2007

What I learned:

1. Shave your head.
2. Find an attacker who doesn't defend himself when you attack him back.
and Bas Rutten's advice:
3. Throw a bottle of honey at him.

I feel safe now, but my head's a little chilly.
posted by eye of newt at 10:00 PM on September 11, 2007 [1 favorite]

How about being able to read a situation properly and being able to just walk away before shit goes down? You got any videos for that?
posted by tighttrousers at 10:43 PM on September 11, 2007 [5 favorites]

This one time this guy got a knife at my throat in Washington Square Park, NYC. He asked what'd I do if he cut me.

I was all loose and relaxed, since there was nothing I could do. But I got the answer right, I did! Bleed.
posted by Goofyy at 11:30 PM on September 11, 2007 [1 favorite]

I like Bas Rutten's advice: "Smash his head against the ambiance of the place."
posted by Floydd at 12:29 AM on September 12, 2007

Eye gouging... does that really work? I don't see many one-eyed chavs around these parts.
posted by topynate at 1:14 AM on September 12, 2007

topynate: "Eye gouging... does that really work? I don't see many one-eyed chavs around these parts."

I'd imagine it would be incredibly difficult to bring yourself to actually do that, even in a fight.
posted by Drexen at 1:54 AM on September 12, 2007

This thread really won't get going until #18323 shows up.
posted by googly at 2:54 AM on September 12, 2007

So let's amuse ourselves with this until that happens.
posted by maudlin at 3:14 AM on September 12, 2007

The techniques he shows are actually pretty good. But as with any thing physical that requires speed, co-ordination, timing and strength, it won't do you any good without practice, practice and more practice.

I'd recommend finding a local Krav Maga school before trying it in the real world...
posted by Djinh at 3:30 AM on September 12, 2007

None of those pages is coming up for me. I guess I'm toast.
posted by psmealey at 3:35 AM on September 12, 2007

Glasgow gangs love it
posted by yoHighness at 4:11 AM on September 12, 2007

Thanks for the pointer to the tkchrist comments, googly. They were interesting. I started doing tai chi for a few months ago, as an extension to my meditation practice. I find it hard to keep a straight face when the advanced students go on and on about how effective tai chi could be in combat. I can understand fighting for the joy of it, but in the US, at least, it seems very easy to live in such a way that the risk of assault is negligible compared to the expense of seriously training for the possibility.
posted by Coventry at 4:19 AM on September 12, 2007

Hmm, my paragraph breaks showed up in the preview, but they were stripped out in the final version. Oh, well.
posted by Coventry at 4:20 AM on September 12, 2007

*pokes the now apparently very dead webhost*

I guess they forgot the How to Survive a Metafiltering part.
posted by Iosephus at 4:29 AM on September 12, 2007

For muggings I use a subtle combination of hysterical crying, throwing my possessions at them and pushing my girlfriend, mother, innocent bystander, baby or whoever at the potential assailant. Only to follow through with some Grade A fat man fleeing.

Though in a real life situation I'd probably freeze up and use my innate ninja skills to incapacitate the assailants while looking remarkably cool.
posted by slimepuppy at 4:41 AM on September 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

For muggings I use a subtle combination of hysterical crying, throwing my possessions at them and pushing my girlfriend, mother, innocent bystander, baby or whoever at the potential assailant. Only to follow through with some Grade A fat man fleeing.

i like your style. i'd like to suggest adding screaming like a little girl and visibly peeing/pooping (latter possibly VERY effective) yr pants to further that approach.
posted by fuzzypantalones at 4:51 AM on September 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

Eye gouging... I'd imagine it would be incredibly difficult to bring yourself to actually do that, even in a fight.

I know someone who disabled an attacker by pulling the damn thing right out of its socket. He said it left all kinds of goo on his finger and under his nail.

Good practical advice: those big fat mean biker types? They have bad knees, one kick to the knee and they're broken.
posted by StickyCarpet at 5:15 AM on September 12, 2007

A few years ago I bought a bike. Shortly after buying it I took a class in bicycle maintenance. It was a great class and I learned a ton of stuff but unfortunately I had no reason to put my new-found skills to use as my bike was brand new. Every day after taking the class I would gaze longingly at my bike, trying to find a brake that needed tightening or a gear that needed adjusting. I was dying to fix something but everything worked perfectly. Eventually I convinced myself that the back wheel was slightly out of true so I grabbed my shiny new spoke tightener and got to work.

Long story short, it cost me about $60.00 to have the bike shop fix the stripped spokes and true up the wheel after I screwed the crap out of it.

I think watching these videos would be a bad idea.
posted by bondcliff at 6:14 AM on September 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

topynate: "Eye gouging... does that really work? I don't see many one-eyed chavs around these parts."


The eye is popped out of its socket which really freaks out the attacker, but usually it can be pushed back in and heals OK.
posted by StickyCarpet at 6:20 AM on September 12, 2007

It's been my experience that in real fights punches to the stomach and side of the head do very little to an attacker who is pumped up on adrenalin. You've got to go for the nose, throat and groin.
posted by any major dude at 6:53 AM on September 12, 2007

Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, click, click, click.
posted by Standeck at 6:58 AM on September 12, 2007

You call that a knife? This is a knife!
posted by kirkaracha at 7:15 AM on September 12, 2007

Unless you're the same size or larger, and stronger, than your opponent, these techniques are pretty sucky.

The first move on the "knife attack" vid is a bit like aikido, but then everything relies on overpowering your opponent. In aikido you'd either run away at that point, or twist the arm you've grabbed in such a way that you reposition yourself out of the range of attack. You're probably not going to be able to overpower a street opponent who has chosen you to attack in the belief that he will win, especially if, as the instructor points out, an attacker can easily get a few cuts in.
posted by zennie at 7:29 AM on September 12, 2007

Here's the 411 folks, say some gangsta is dissin' your fly girl. You just give em one of these
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 7:29 AM on September 12, 2007

My all time self-defense fave - knock his ass out Frankie!
posted by photoslob at 8:11 AM on September 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

Street survival? I need this shit for a typical day on Metafilter.
posted by four panels at 8:19 AM on September 12, 2007

You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while wearing these bad boys?
posted by Mr_Zero at 3:04 PM on September 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

Standeck : Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, click, click, click.

I believe the proper way of using this system would actually be:

Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, click, *press*, clatter, *slap*, *release*, bang, bang, bang.

Not that I advocate that kind of thing.
posted by quin at 3:05 PM on September 12, 2007

Not good technique in the 5 minute videos, as people have commented earlier. If you can't see the faults, and you are interested in self defense, then I would advise going to a good practitioner and putting in some hours of training.

I also watch the punching video, which whilst having some merit, also shows poor technique overall. Not recommended if you want to be able to use your elbows past the age of thirty.

He has some stuff right, but he has enough wrong to be dangerous.
posted by asok at 2:46 AM on September 13, 2007

*sigh*
posted by Smedleyman at 1:33 PM on September 13, 2007

I can do these guys one better.

In that I will give you only two, count them — ONE-TWO— exercises that may help you, the skinny dweeb or the demure young lass, kick some dues ass.

These are exercises. Not Techniques. Because techniques take a ton of time, professional oversight, refinement and, most inconveniently, a partner. You cannot learn fighting technique solo. You just can't. Okay. You can't.

But you can acquire attributes that can help you more than poor technique.

See. Exercises take one thing: Consistency.

You will need a large heavy punching bag. You can make one from an old canvas duffel bag by stuffing it with small plastic bags filled with sand in it's core and wrap those with shreds of carpet remnants for padding. Or you can buy one at a garage sale.

It has to be at least the weight of an average human - 120lbs to 200lbs. It needs to be packed densely but not so hard that if you hit it more than five times your hands hurt (you will be open hand hitting with your palms - unless you KNOW how to punch). You will not need to hang it if you don't want.

You will also need some sort of timer. A cooking timer is fine.

You will also need to warn your neighbors your going to make a ton of noise. Do not skip the making noise step it is crucial to practice. Trust me.

Exercise one: Go Ape Shit.

Set up. Place you bag propped against a wall, in a sturdy chair, or hang it. Stand about five feet away.

Stance. With your hands up, palms out, in in front of you at head height arms slightly bent (like you are pushing against an invisible wall) feet should width knees slightly flexed.

Time. Set your timer for one minute.

It's time to get dizzy. Close your eyes and visualize the worst scenario possible. Get enraged. Spin in a circle in any direction at least twenty rotations. The idea is to feel disoriented and to simulate adrenaline. Then open your eyes and spot the bag as fast as you can.

Begin. Rush up to the bag and hit it with your palms elbows and knees, and head butts. Don't worry about "effective." Don't worry about the "right" way. Just Go Ape Shit. Yeall. Scream. Swear. The louder the better.

Even if you are totally exhausted after 15 seconds keep going until you can't. If it hurts, tough— find away to hit that doest hurt but keep going no matter what, even if you can only move your pinky finger, until the time goes off. When the timer goes off run away from the bag as fast as you can at least ten paces.

Rest for no more than three minutes. (as you get in better shape make your rest shorter)

Freshen this up with a stick or broom handle as a weapon. Place that on the other side of the room so you have to run for it at the start of the round.

Do this three rounds up to three days per week.


Excercise two: Get the fuck off me.

Set up. Lay on the floor with the bag on top of you. Legs wrapped around it (missionary style or in the Guard as the say in BJJ). Visualize the worst thing you can.

Time. The same.

Begin. Yell. Scream. Be enraged. Push the bag off of you any way you can, Get up any way you can. Stomp kick the bag four of five times. Then get back down and start over until the timer is up. When the timer goes off do your ten pace sprint.

There. For free.

The by product will be you will actually get in pretty good anaerobic shape.
posted by tkchrist at 1:39 PM on September 13, 2007 [2 favorites]