Cereal Entertainment
October 5, 2007 10:12 AM   Subscribe

Friday Fun Filter: Test your cereal knowledge.
posted by Oriole Adams (30 comments total)
8/40%. That was hard!
posted by brain_drain at 10:27 AM on October 5, 2007

Damn. 10/ 20 (50%.) I am FAIL.
posted by dersins at 10:44 AM on October 5, 2007

14/20! Holy crap I know a lot of dumb stuff.
posted by Reggie Digest at 10:45 AM on October 5, 2007

10/20 - ouch!

Now I want some Almond Delight (and it doesn't exist anymore) :(
posted by sociolibrarian at 10:47 AM on October 5, 2007

60%. Not too bad, I guess.
posted by the dief at 10:55 AM on October 5, 2007

16/20. I guessed on most of it.
posted by Pope Guilty at 11:04 AM on October 5, 2007

6/20. Clearly I don't know shit about breakfast cereal.
posted by quin at 11:05 AM on October 5, 2007

13/20 most of these were from before my time.
posted by TheJoven at 11:09 AM on October 5, 2007

The King Vitamin one has a repeated answer.

posted by DU at 11:12 AM on October 5, 2007

I love me some cereal?


posted by inigo2 at 11:19 AM on October 5, 2007

What'd I get to eat as a kid? Raisin Bran. Corn Flakes. Rice Krispies. That was it. None of your Honeycombs or Froot Loops or Hitler Flakes or whatever you sugar-addled brats were shoveling into your gullet. As a treat, guess what I got? Shredded Wheat! Maybe even All-Bran. So fuck all of you and fuck your obesity-causing advertising icons.

(In other words: I scored 3/20.)
posted by beaucoupkevin at 11:29 AM on October 5, 2007 [2 favorites]

As long as I live
Never will there be
A cereal more lovely
Than fruity pebbles
All the colors of the rainbow
and some in between
posted by nomisxid at 11:51 AM on October 5, 2007 [1 favorite]

Quisp won the cereal battle but lost the cereal wars.


I take cereal seriously.

Being brought up an army brat and living over-seas our ONE cultural connection to the US of A was my mom's monthly shopping trip to the base PX. There she could buy all that worthless crap we wanted shipped to us by the US military in their kind and infinite wisdom.

It was TORTURE waining for that day. First there was the scant few items my mother would allow us to indulge in... like a single pack of Oreos, two boxes of the despised but tolerated Raisin Bran, and the much prized Cap'n Crunch. But occasionally, like when it rains frogs or when dad came home drunk and gave us twenty dollars hush money, there was the penultimate treasure... a box of Quisp.

I remember I would run home from school imagining how I was gonna throw open the cupboards, tearing that place apart, just praying for a box of that sweet sugary smack.

And I get home after running at least four miles and there my brother would be. Helping my mom unload the car, giving me his smug "tough shit, junior" look. Because he had already secreted away the Oreos and the box of Crunch or Quisp.

"Your brother got home early today. I guess they had bomb threat at the high school. He's being so helpful. Isn't that nice."

Fuck you. I couldn't prove it but that son of a bitch would call in a bomb threat just so he could get home before me. You wonder why TK is the way he is? Blame that man.

A few years back a friend from Idaho came to stay with my wife and I. We got up early one morning and I asked him what he wanted for breakfast. "Hey I saw you had a box of Cap'n Crunch in ..."

"STOP right there. Nobody touches the Crunch in this house but me."

"Uuuh. Okayeeee."
posted by tkchrist at 11:54 AM on October 5, 2007

My mouth’s celing is sick of feeling jaggy ragged
O Captain My Captain
Crunch you and your
deathberries in bruisy colors
slice me dice me, sugar coatedly
entice me to chomp, on those little golden bales of what the fuck ever they’re made of
This masochistic breakfast romp!!
You foil me every time with your
milkbowl maritime warfare tactics.
I long to drown you in 2% and skim
from the bubbling white your funny ass blue hat.
But even dead and lactose logged, you wouldn’t sog.
You’d be crispy, wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t you???

(benefits a lot from my performance, trust me)
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:54 AM on October 5, 2007 [3 favorites]

beaucoupkevin, you poor bastard, you must be nearly as old as i am. to the shredded wheat, i can only add farina, cream of wheat, quaker oats and post toasties. 0/20.
posted by kitchenrat at 11:55 AM on October 5, 2007

Wow, I love cereal, but I only got 7/20. Now I know the true costs of not eating enough sugar: ignorance and shame.

sociolibrarian, I miss Almond Delight too!
posted by bassjump at 12:14 PM on October 5, 2007

50% - My mom didn't buy a whole lot of different cereals.
posted by MikeMc at 12:24 PM on October 5, 2007

I bet Quentin Tarantino would ace this.
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:38 PM on October 5, 2007

kitchenrat, maybe you just don't think like a kid/cereal maker. Random guessing should get you 5/20.
posted by Orange Pamplemousse at 1:08 PM on October 5, 2007

It's not about what cereals you ate, it's about how much Saturday morning television advertising you watched.


I wonder if Brendan "Breakfast of the Gods" Jones had a hand in creating this.
posted by oats at 1:15 PM on October 5, 2007

This quiz gets a +100 rating from me just for the Colon Blow reference. I always thought it was just a LOLOLDPEOPLE commercial. And then I got older.
posted by Big_B at 1:53 PM on October 5, 2007

posted by parmanparman at 2:02 PM on October 5, 2007

I voted "Yes" for the Trix Rabbit in 1980, and dutifuly mailed it off to General Mills. They sent me a button with the Rabbit giving a big thumbs up in response. I never learned the outcome of this important election until now.
posted by A Long and Troublesome Lameness at 2:19 PM on October 5, 2007

I got some wrong (watched a lot of t.v.), but I’ll see you in hell before I believe the “ad executive” conspiracy that Mikey’s guts didn’t explode from eating pop rocks and coke.
posted by Smedleyman at 2:41 PM on October 5, 2007

*puts on footy pajamas*
posted by Smedleyman at 2:42 PM on October 5, 2007

Booberry turns your poop green.
posted by malaprohibita at 2:53 PM on October 5, 2007

I first read this as "test your carnal knowledge." That would have been more fun.
posted by Rangeboy at 3:42 PM on October 5, 2007

Sure Mikey's fast grown government authorized clone is an ad executive.

Psssst, don't let anyone know that I told you that the twin towers were strategically weakened with a binary explosive compound made from coca cola and pop rocks.
posted by BrotherCaine at 7:23 PM on October 5, 2007

Needs a "US Only" tag. But even so, I got 50% (and that's from someone who grew up in the UK, and has really only eaten the one type of cereal for my entire life).
posted by scruss at 5:31 AM on October 6, 2007

None of your Honeycombs or Froot Loops or Hitler Flakes or whatever you sugar-addled brats were shoveling into your gullet.

Hitler Flakes were good, but you really couldn't beat Francoberry.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 5:50 AM on October 6, 2007 [1 favorite]

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