Whoa. Does this guy ever answer his cell?
March 23, 2001 12:16 PM   Subscribe

Whoa. Does this guy ever answer his cell? I guess this is a lesson for everyone to be careful what kind of voice mail messages you leave.
posted by JFunk2800 (34 comments total)
If you have any questions, comments, want to contribute to our legal fund, or just want to say "Thanks. I'm glad I'm not alone. I have been looking for a support group." then send us some email.

Legal fund? Uh-huh. Whatever.
posted by amanda at 12:49 PM on March 23, 2001

For the first 30 seconds or so, this was kinda funny. Then it suddenly became really sad. The poor woman needs help.
posted by jpoulos at 1:12 PM on March 23, 2001

At what point did he come up with the great idea for a website? message 7 or so? "What a great idea, I'll just never call her back or maybe string her along. I'm gonna get my website blogged if it costs me my exgirlfriends sanity".

that just sucked.

posted by darkpony at 1:17 PM on March 23, 2001

Basically, we're a group of nice guys who are tired of getting treated like this and want to educate the public on what to look out for when involved in a potentially volatile relationship.

Apparently, their understanding of the phrase "nice guy" is a little off.

The only lesson that this site seems to show is that you should never rely on technology in lieu of good old face-to-face communication.

That and to never date the type of "nice guy" who find sites like this amusing, let alone would consider putting something like this together.
posted by valerie at 1:22 PM on March 23, 2001

Yes, she's psycho, but I get the impression this guy deserved her.
posted by frykitty at 1:29 PM on March 23, 2001

Yeah. He stole her cat.

This website fits a scenario that has happened to me a few times now. I find the site, I think it's hilarious, I blog it, then I get a little peeved when it hits MeFi. Stupid, I know, but hey.
posted by norm at 1:46 PM on March 23, 2001

What kind of jerk posts these messages to his website? This woman is pouring out her heart. This is a little different than crazy-bitch.com.
posted by waxpancake at 1:49 PM on March 23, 2001

There it is! I was trying to remember that site, since it's what I had in my head when I went to this one. I guess if this girl didn't completely ransack his apartment, it does put a slightly different spin on things...
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 1:59 PM on March 23, 2001

My stomache is wheezy. It sounded just like my last experience. ...it was the kind where you try to end a relationship only to see the other party not let it. I've heard the "I'm done chasing you, I can't express this enough" only to have her call back (in this case 3 more times in 20 minutes and 43 more times in 23 days) after saying it. Its sad. I'm glad my experience with this kind of thing is over. Still, I don't think this site is about "support".
posted by tomplus2 at 2:01 PM on March 23, 2001

yeah... crazy-bitch was alot different... and it just feels way too much like this guy saw THAT site and since he was breaking up anyway, why create a "fun" site out of the experience.

posted by darkpony at 2:04 PM on March 23, 2001

hmm. well, the site was launched 3/20, about a month after the last recording. it seems that it might more likely be a frustrated after-the-fact backlash of some sort. to assume that this guy was cold enough to decide mid-breakup to make things "fun" is probably a bit of a stretch.

i think i counted 25 messages in about 4 hours.

its hard to judge more than that. Maybe, he's a decent guy trying to break it off, and she's just an emotional atom bomb exploding all over the place, damaging everyone, fallout everywhere. On the other hand, perhaps she's not exaggerating at all and he's an abusive, animal-abducting alcoholic with excessively high expectations.

yeah. not enough information here.

just curious, how does she know he's listening to his messages?
posted by syn at 2:32 PM on March 23, 2001

If your looking to pick up women, or have women stay with you, theres a lesson here. Have them chase you. Granted if the lady is crazy dump her (as in this case) but you can see with clarity how her interest level in him was so high that she was ready to KILL herself for him. It doesnt get any better then that. The real question is, what did this guy do to get her to that level?
posted by stbalbach at 2:59 PM on March 23, 2001

Chicks dig DoublePostGuy.
posted by DoublePostGuy at 3:02 PM on March 23, 2001

Chicks dig DoublePostGuy.
posted by kindall at 3:09 PM on March 23, 2001

Chicks dig DoublePostGuy.
posted by allaboutgeorge at 3:11 PM on March 23, 2001

Even the guys dig DoublePostGuy. He's so dreamy! *swoon*
posted by darukaru at 3:18 PM on March 23, 2001

What am I? Chopped liver?
posted by Twice_Posted_Lad at 3:36 PM on March 23, 2001

Two observations:

First, all we're hearing is one side of the messages. We really have no idea if he's calling her at all, leaving her any messages, or whatever.

Second, though, this chick is exhibiting some of the most horrifyingly manipulative behavior there is; she's why suicide hotlines need to exist. Trying to make someone else feel like your life is in their hands -- her telling him that his not calling will lead her to do something drastic -- is disturbed. The problem is that most people truly don't know how to handle this; they take that threat seriously (as they should), but then accede to the demand (which they shouldn't). Instead, he needed to call the police at around call number 6 or so, and let them know that she was severely unstable and in need of help.

Instead, though, he recorded all of the messages, and put them on a website... displaying his own issues.
posted by delfuego at 4:00 PM on March 23, 2001

All I can say is, wow. This couple needs counseling!
posted by caffeineaddict at 4:02 PM on March 23, 2001

Hold on, hate to be a cynic here, but why are we all assuming that these messages are genuine? That was not the impression that I got from listening to them...
posted by tobyslater at 4:45 PM on March 23, 2001

The inventive ways of trying to get him to talk to her (no kids to force meetings, so she needs assistance with her confusing cellphone!) ...are impressive. Gosh, what an abusive stalker.
posted by holloway at 5:43 PM on March 23, 2001

tobyslater: Exactly my thoughts. Especially the earlier ones-- sounds like she's reading from a script. And the "answering machine" changes its speed of speech between messages. Never seen one actually do that...
posted by tsitzlar at 5:57 PM on March 23, 2001

I could only listen to about the first twelve messages, so I may have missed something. (Actually, after the second message, it was excruciating, but I forced myself.) But I did notice a couple of things.

First, the text on his front page about moving messages to a secret account in Denmark or closing down if we don't give them some assistance (they're "desperate") reminded me of some of what his ex-girlfriend was saying in her voicemail messages. I think they're both pretty manipulative and probably deserved each other.

Second, those voicemails were real. They're extreme and they're painful, but they're not concocted.

Third, there really is a lesson to be learned from listening to the voicemails. It has nothing to do with avoiding psycho women or about how to deal with someone who won't let go. It has to deal with how to handle being dumped. Here is a textbook example of how not to do it.

I remember some time ago, not long after I separated from my wife and started dating men for the first time, getting dumped by someone who wasn't honest or forthright with me. It took him a while to actually get around to letting me know that I'd been dumped. And I had no idea why, and it was hard to deal with, especially since I hadn't been dumped in 15 years or so. Anyway, I overreacted. I didn't cry on his phone or threaten suicide or call multiple times in the same evening, but I was pretty bummed out, and I didn't have the sense to hide it. My point is that if I'm ever tempted to make a call to someone who's dumped me, I can listen to ONE of these messages and be cured.

From the first dozen messages, I don't think this woman was ever truly suicidal. She had a lot of trouble accepting what was happening, and Mark almost certainly lead her on, intentionally or unintentionally, but she didn't need crisis intervention. She needed some self-esteem and a cooling off period.

It is kind of sad that her reactions have been preserved for everyone to laugh at. That guy is a jerk, but I bet that when he did the local radio show, he was flooded with calls of interest from other doormats. If a guy can live with himself while acting that way, it is a highly effective strategy for getting sex.
posted by anapestic at 6:12 PM on March 23, 2001

Mom always told me not to laugh at other people's misfortune, but goshdangit, in this particular situation, it's pretty damn hard not to.
posted by ookamaka at 6:31 PM on March 23, 2001

I also just downloaded the infamous voicemail number 31 from Napster, and umm... I must be missing somehting, because there doesn't seem to be anything all that special about it. Anyone else find the thing?
posted by ookamaka at 7:01 PM on March 23, 2001

Supposedly #31 contained someone else's name, and this person - for some odd, bizarre reason! - didn't want their name heard by 1.3 million office workers burning off a Friday afternoon on company time.

Again, the little manipulative side of the fellow shows through - if he'd waited a day and charged a dime via PayPal for 31, I'll bet a few people would have ponied up.
posted by lileks at 7:24 PM on March 23, 2001

Why didn't he just edit the other woman's name out? (Her name was Emily, by the way.)
posted by waxpancake at 7:31 PM on March 23, 2001

Woman! Whoa, man. Whooooaaaaaaa man!
posted by fusinski at 11:42 PM on March 23, 2001

This guy is definitely a rotten bastard. But in a good way; how entertaining.
posted by Loudmax at 11:49 PM on March 23, 2001

It's sad, really. And it says a lot more about the fellow who posted the voice mail than about the woman who left them.
posted by tranquileye at 5:58 AM on March 24, 2001

fizz-ake as hizz-ell ya'll.
posted by alfredogarcia at 11:05 AM on March 24, 2001

Those messages are almost surreal. Its hard to think that someone could be that manipulative, and yet, people put up with this type of behavior everyday. I think its good its up, because if you recognize the types of stratagies used in those messages as being a part of your life, you know that that person is crazy - its not you. In co-dependent, or abusive relationships people are often blind to the behavior. They believe it is thier own fault.
posted by xammerboy at 12:52 PM on March 24, 2001

Is this guy really providing all the information about the the status of his relationship with her? I bet he was leading her on...... maybe he was the one playing mind games with her?
posted by SexyParapalegic at 1:12 PM on March 24, 2001

My sources tell me that the girl's name is Anais and the guy's name is Henry.
posted by ed at 7:23 PM on March 24, 2001

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