Horn Solo
October 11, 2007 5:47 PM Subscribe
This post was deleted for the following reason: Poster's Request -- frimble
I saw this earlier today and it's astoundingly craptastic.
posted by dhammond at 5:51 PM on October 11, 2007
posted by dhammond at 5:51 PM on October 11, 2007
Still better than "The Phantom Menace."
posted by ColdChef at 5:55 PM on October 11, 2007 [11 favorites]
posted by ColdChef at 5:55 PM on October 11, 2007 [11 favorites]
Thats Miss Douglas County. It needs more something.
posted by Sailormom at 5:55 PM on October 11, 2007
posted by Sailormom at 5:55 PM on October 11, 2007
Spin, spin, spin, suck.
I hate it when youtube comments make me laugh unironically.
posted by cortex at 5:56 PM on October 11, 2007
I hate it when youtube comments make me laugh unironically.
posted by cortex at 5:56 PM on October 11, 2007
Very few phrases can invoke fear like 'interpretive dance.'
posted by jonmc at 5:56 PM on October 11, 2007
posted by jonmc at 5:56 PM on October 11, 2007
Previously seen here. I had considered cross-posting this myself, but you know, turning the most embarrassing performance at a non-national beauty pageant (as opposed to Miss-Which-Carolina-Was-It-Again) into a web-viral laughing stock is just not fair. Like shooting fish in a tuna can.
Anyway, to help wash out your brains, I give you: Guitar Solo!
posted by wendell at 5:59 PM on October 11, 2007 [2 favorites]
Anyway, to help wash out your brains, I give you: Guitar Solo!
posted by wendell at 5:59 PM on October 11, 2007 [2 favorites]
This is the kind of woman I would expect to die in a meth lab explosion.
posted by phaedon at 6:11 PM on October 11, 2007
posted by phaedon at 6:11 PM on October 11, 2007
do you mean wished had, phaedon?
youtube puts some mean, real trumpet solos in the sidebar. those cooled my blood after 10 seconds into the FPP.
Never did I think I'd want the disco track turned up, Up, UP!
posted by Busithoth at 6:39 PM on October 11, 2007
youtube puts some mean, real trumpet solos in the sidebar. those cooled my blood after 10 seconds into the FPP.
Never did I think I'd want the disco track turned up, Up, UP!
posted by Busithoth at 6:39 PM on October 11, 2007
wow. as a (former) trumpeteer, that was painful to watch. Wow...
posted by subaruwrx at 6:44 PM on October 11, 2007
posted by subaruwrx at 6:44 PM on October 11, 2007
What I mean is, if you're going to ruthlessly ridicule a talentless idiot, you should save it for one who has had a lot more undeserved breaks than 'Miss Douglas County'. Somebody like...
Best question in the interview: "How does it feel to have a closet full of wife-beaters and no wife?"
posted by wendell at 6:46 PM on October 11, 2007
Best question in the interview: "How does it feel to have a closet full of wife-beaters and no wife?"
posted by wendell at 6:46 PM on October 11, 2007
I think the backwards-trumpet-as-laser-gun saved the performance. Now that's creativity right there!
posted by amyms at 6:51 PM on October 11, 2007
posted by amyms at 6:51 PM on October 11, 2007
Oh my!
posted by trip and a half at 7:15 PM on October 11, 2007
posted by trip and a half at 7:15 PM on October 11, 2007
Seriously. 2 or 3 steps to the left, and you've got Jandek. And that Jan Terri stuff. Shit. She practically is Jandek.
posted by mr_roboto at 7:19 PM on October 11, 2007
posted by mr_roboto at 7:19 PM on October 11, 2007
Nice Charlie Chaplin impression, though. She might not be a great musician, but she's got the tramp thing down.
Seriously, if only someone had pulled her aside and helped her out. "Okay honey, so FLIP THE FIRST TWO NOTES. All right? Yeah, just play the second one first. Now, first one second. See? It's better, right? Still sucky, but better..."
posted by miss lynnster at 7:20 PM on October 11, 2007
Seriously, if only someone had pulled her aside and helped her out. "Okay honey, so FLIP THE FIRST TWO NOTES. All right? Yeah, just play the second one first. Now, first one second. See? It's better, right? Still sucky, but better..."
posted by miss lynnster at 7:20 PM on October 11, 2007
She doesn't need to flip the first two notes, she needs to kick the first one down an octave.
posted by cortex at 7:22 PM on October 11, 2007
posted by cortex at 7:22 PM on October 11, 2007
Wow. They TOLD me the Star Wars Holiday Special was bad. I don't blame Lucas for burying it.
posted by evilcolonel at 7:33 PM on October 11, 2007
posted by evilcolonel at 7:33 PM on October 11, 2007
Next time I'm tempted to Rickroll I'll post a link to this instead.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:46 PM on October 11, 2007
posted by louche mustachio at 7:46 PM on October 11, 2007
So I'm guessing either Stacy Hedger's ex-husband, or the ex-wife of Stacy Hedger's current husband, has found the perfect venue in which to express a long simmering resentment against Stacy Hedger.
posted by maryh at 7:48 PM on October 11, 2007
posted by maryh at 7:48 PM on October 11, 2007
Okay honey, so FLIP THE FIRST TWO NOTES.
It sounded like the recording was that way too. From that and the rest of the slightly off-kilter bits, I assumed that it was intentionally not-quite-the-Star-Wars-music for copyright porpoises.
They TOLD me the Star Wars Holiday Special was bad.
That was still better than Carrie Fisher singing to Lumpy.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:55 PM on October 11, 2007
It sounded like the recording was that way too. From that and the rest of the slightly off-kilter bits, I assumed that it was intentionally not-quite-the-Star-Wars-music for copyright porpoises.
They TOLD me the Star Wars Holiday Special was bad.
That was still better than Carrie Fisher singing to Lumpy.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:55 PM on October 11, 2007
Kill it with fire. BURNINATE.
posted by BrotherCaine at 8:20 PM on October 11, 2007
posted by BrotherCaine at 8:20 PM on October 11, 2007
This is like dreams I have, weird, upsetting, and sad.
posted by nola at 9:54 PM on October 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by nola at 9:54 PM on October 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
It sounded like the recording was that way too. From that and the rest of the slightly off-kilter bits, I assumed that it was intentionally not-quite-the-Star-Wars-music for copyright porpoises.
Yeah, except the announcer said she was playing the "theme song from Star Wars". Kind of defeats the purpose of changing a melody for copyright purposes if you admit that you're doing it. Now, it's quite likely the recording itself was not official, and that definitely saves some money. But there wasn't anything off melody-wise about the backing track. She was just plain hitting wrong notes (or possibly right notes in the wrong key, I was too horrified to tell).
posted by ChestnutMonkey at 10:07 PM on October 11, 2007
Great post title!
posted by interrobang at 10:07 PM on October 11, 2007
posted by interrobang at 10:07 PM on October 11, 2007
turning the most embarrassing performance at a non-national beauty pageant (as opposed to Miss-Which-Carolina-Was-It-Again) into a web-viral laughing stock is just not fair. Like shooting fish in a tuna can.
I have to disagree. The video is just too bad to not be shared.
Plus, it's at least 25 to 30 years old. If Stacy Hedger (even if she were to find out that she's in a "viral video") can't have a sense of humor about her horrible performance by now, then fuck her.
posted by ChestnutMonkey at 10:17 PM on October 11, 2007
I have to disagree. The video is just too bad to not be shared.
Plus, it's at least 25 to 30 years old. If Stacy Hedger (even if she were to find out that she's in a "viral video") can't have a sense of humor about her horrible performance by now, then fuck her.
posted by ChestnutMonkey at 10:17 PM on October 11, 2007
I...just...uh...can't...*snarf*...*gurgle gurlge*...gah!
posted by slogger at 10:29 PM on October 11, 2007
posted by slogger at 10:29 PM on October 11, 2007
She was just plain hitting wrong notes (or possibly right notes in the wrong key, I was too horrified to tell).
It sounds more than anything like the right notes in the right key on a trumpet that was somewhere between a quartertone and a semitone out of tune with the backing track. How that happened—and, really, why she didn't fucking stop on note three when it was happening—I don't really know. There's "the show must go on", sure, but that's momentum and showmanship in the face of speedbumps. This was just barreling a Mack truck headlong into the side of a goddam building.
posted by cortex at 10:36 PM on October 11, 2007
It sounds more than anything like the right notes in the right key on a trumpet that was somewhere between a quartertone and a semitone out of tune with the backing track. How that happened—and, really, why she didn't fucking stop on note three when it was happening—I don't really know. There's "the show must go on", sure, but that's momentum and showmanship in the face of speedbumps. This was just barreling a Mack truck headlong into the side of a goddam building.
posted by cortex at 10:36 PM on October 11, 2007
I think we've found the answer to the "How does it feel like to die?" thread.
posted by ooga_booga at 1:23 AM on October 12, 2007 [4 favorites]
posted by ooga_booga at 1:23 AM on October 12, 2007 [4 favorites]
It sounds more than anything like the right notes in the right key on a trumpet that was somewhere between a quartertone and a semitone out of tune with the backing track.
I'm not a musician, but given the age of the video the music was probably a tape. Could it be that she rehearsed and tuned against one tape player, but the one in the hall played slightly slower or faster, changing the frequency and leading to the trumpet being out of tune?
posted by TheophileEscargot at 2:54 AM on October 12, 2007
I'm not a musician, but given the age of the video the music was probably a tape. Could it be that she rehearsed and tuned against one tape player, but the one in the hall played slightly slower or faster, changing the frequency and leading to the trumpet being out of tune?
posted by TheophileEscargot at 2:54 AM on October 12, 2007
Umm... wow I think I just died a little inside.
posted by Mastercheddaar at 6:34 AM on October 12, 2007
posted by Mastercheddaar at 6:34 AM on October 12, 2007
Could be, TheophileEscargot. It could also be colder in the hall, or she could have the mouthpiece set farther out than she had been. Or maybe some nightmare convolution of all three?
posted by cortex at 6:42 AM on October 12, 2007
posted by cortex at 6:42 AM on October 12, 2007
That was totally astounding & cheered me up no end. Thank you very much.
posted by Jody Tresidder at 7:39 AM on October 12, 2007
posted by Jody Tresidder at 7:39 AM on October 12, 2007
Talk about the train wreck you CANNOT turn away from. And now I am guilty of emailing this to everyone I know.
Anyone who has ever suffered through one of these state or local pageants has seen stuff like this, the talent competition can be just painful. The usual refuge for the untalented is the infamous dramatic reading, so I applaud Stacy for her boldness and imagination.
posted by Ber at 7:41 AM on October 12, 2007
Anyone who has ever suffered through one of these state or local pageants has seen stuff like this, the talent competition can be just painful. The usual refuge for the untalented is the infamous dramatic reading, so I applaud Stacy for her boldness and imagination.
posted by Ber at 7:41 AM on October 12, 2007
Her pantomime of things flying back and forth over her head is just....
posted by tristeza at 9:17 AM on October 12, 2007
posted by tristeza at 9:17 AM on October 12, 2007
rudster wrote: hmmmm, camel toe trumpet solos. awesome
To be precise: tauntaun toe.
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:53 AM on October 12, 2007
To be precise: tauntaun toe.
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:53 AM on October 12, 2007
Oh that poor, horrible girl.
It was so bad I almost turned it off, but then I would have missed her heel (pause) toe (pause) heel dance step. I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me.
posted by jennaratrix at 12:19 PM on October 12, 2007
It was so bad I almost turned it off, but then I would have missed her heel (pause) toe (pause) heel dance step. I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me.
posted by jennaratrix at 12:19 PM on October 12, 2007
Great, one more reason to hate George Lucas.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:26 PM on October 12, 2007
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:26 PM on October 12, 2007
To be precise: tauntaun toe.
And I thought they smelled bad... from the outside!
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:28 AM on October 14, 2007
And I thought they smelled bad... from the outside!
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:28 AM on October 14, 2007
If Stacy Hedger (even if she were to find out that she's in a "viral video") can't have a sense of humor about her horrible performance by now, then fuck her.
Apparently she's found out about it. A blog by a Kansas City music publication called "The Pitch" has this:
posted by originalname37 at 11:02 AM on October 25, 2007
Apparently she's found out about it. A blog by a Kansas City music publication called "The Pitch" has this:
posted by originalname37 at 11:02 AM on October 25, 2007
It sounds more than anything like the right notes in the right key on a trumpet that was somewhere between a quartertone and a semitone out of tune with the backing track. How that happened—and, really, why she didn't fucking stop on note three when it was happening—I don't really know.
You're right about it being fine but for an out-of-tune trumpet vs. backing track. One possible reason she didn't stop (other than the fact that she probably doesn't have the ear to get the trumpet locked in on the spot and so would have no way to fix the problem) is that the trumpet is a very loud instrument. It's likely that she could not hear the backing track from the stage while blowing the trumpet and, therefore, could not hear how badly it was going.
posted by originalname37 at 11:17 AM on October 25, 2007
You're right about it being fine but for an out-of-tune trumpet vs. backing track. One possible reason she didn't stop (other than the fact that she probably doesn't have the ear to get the trumpet locked in on the spot and so would have no way to fix the problem) is that the trumpet is a very loud instrument. It's likely that she could not hear the backing track from the stage while blowing the trumpet and, therefore, could not hear how badly it was going.
posted by originalname37 at 11:17 AM on October 25, 2007
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posted by rossination at 5:50 PM on October 11, 2007