Uli's Novel of Roy in Clingfilm
October 16, 2007 12:03 PM   Subscribe

Roy Orbison in cling film ... and now, in print. "Any self-respecting bookshop should have a Clingfilm Wrapping section and the book will most likely be located there." Confused? Read the original story, followed by MeFi's first encounter (of many) with this phenomena in 2003.
posted by grabbingsand (23 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
posted by grabbingsand at 12:05 PM on October 16, 2007

doot doo da doo doot
posted by nebulawindphone at 12:07 PM on October 16, 2007 [9 favorites]

do dooo do do do
posted by dismas at 12:09 PM on October 16, 2007

posted by dismas at 12:09 PM on October 16, 2007

This is the greatest thing I have ever read. Even better than the stories by that guy on usenet who writes about beautiful women farting on cakes.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 12:11 PM on October 16, 2007



doo do doo do do
doo do doo
doo do doo
do do doo doo do do do!

posted by loquacious at 12:17 PM on October 16, 2007

Film and video game rights are available! I wonder if the Portal guys could be interested.
posted by ardgedee at 12:17 PM on October 16, 2007

Reads like something out of Donald Barthelme.
posted by anazgnos at 12:21 PM on October 16, 2007

In the first world war trenches, he must wrap Roy in clingfilm to protect him from a gas attack.

posted by patricio at 12:27 PM on October 16, 2007

Manah manah.
posted by loquacious at 12:30 PM on October 16, 2007

A sad and somewhat strange thing happened. Somehow since 2003 when I first saw this I have managed to allow myself to forget it's a spoof. So until today whenever I thought of it, I put it in the genre of serious Roy-Orbison-in-clingfilm fiction. I must not have thought about it very hard. But why is it so impossible? Why must life be so ceaselessly bleak? Why must we live in a world where there can never really be a European gentleman more than a little interested in wrapping Roy Orbison in clingfilm? Why? I am grief-stricken today.

On the other hand, reading these again is nearly worth the anguish. They are so super. Consider the one where Christo unaccountably (...oder?) fails to show up in Dusseldorf to wrap the statue of Prince Jan Wellem in a white sheet and the protagonist offers his services with the clingfilm whereupon it is discovered that the statue of Prince Wellem is in no fit state to be seen...

"...'But the crowd!' says the aide. 'If nothing is to be wrapped today they will tear us limb from limb.'

'Then logically some substitute will have to be wrapped but I cannot think what.'

'If I might make a suggestion,' I offer. 'It strikes me that we do not just have one landmark here today but also another - a pop cultural landmark.' I bow to Roy.

'That is so. You will wrap Roy Orbison in clingfilm at once.'

'If Roy does not object?'

'I do not object,' says Roy. 'Begin.'"
posted by Don Pepino at 1:41 PM on October 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

It's a spoof?

posted by yhbc at 1:57 PM on October 16, 2007

This is the best thing on the internet, full stop. I cannot believe I missed it the previous times around.
posted by everichon at 2:10 PM on October 16, 2007

The cake is a lie.

Farted on by beautiful women or not.
posted by Samizdata at 2:40 PM on October 16, 2007

i was less upset when i found out father christmas didn't exist.
i shall buy the book, and read it to my children as fact.
posted by fay at 2:44 PM on October 16, 2007

i have loved those roy orbison in clingfilm stories for a long time but never knew they were a spoof. but i guess i don't really care, because they're stlll astounding. or, i guess i agree wholeheartedly with don pepino.
posted by snofoam at 2:47 PM on October 16, 2007

Spoof? Hell, I thought it was non-fiction.
posted by cortex at 3:31 PM on October 16, 2007

Roy Orbison wrapped me* in cling-film

*not me
posted by Poolio at 4:10 PM on October 16, 2007

you ruined my day don pepino.
posted by Large Marge at 5:23 PM on October 16, 2007

Wrapped to death.
posted by Tube at 6:57 PM on October 16, 2007

It always starts the same way.
posted by ikkyu2 at 8:27 PM on October 16, 2007

I think I've just discovered a 'being psychoanalysed by Sandra Bullock' fetish.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:04 AM on October 17, 2007

I picked up my copy of the novel today - the bookshop (Waterstones in Brighton) said they'd been selling really well. It lives up to the standard set by the short stories.
posted by simonw at 6:59 AM on October 17, 2007

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