Wake Up Cat
October 23, 2007 3:02 PM Subscribe
Wake up cat (YT, animated, 1:29) cat owners will understand.
I go through this every morning with my cat Tink (short for Stink) minus the baseball bat. But, if she could, I'm sure she would.
I go through this every morning with my cat Tink (short for Stink) minus the baseball bat. But, if she could, I'm sure she would.
SLYTP!
that is very funny and definitely an accurate representation of my kitty, too.
posted by ChrisR at 3:07 PM on October 23, 2007
that is very funny and definitely an accurate representation of my kitty, too.
posted by ChrisR at 3:07 PM on October 23, 2007
Is this something I would have to own a cat to understand? ... never mind, I see you answered.
Amusing too.
posted by Roger Dodger at 3:11 PM on October 23, 2007
Amusing too.
posted by Roger Dodger at 3:11 PM on October 23, 2007
Yeah, this is pretty accurate. I'll have to send this to my mother. She'll crack the hell up.
posted by brundlefly at 3:12 PM on October 23, 2007
posted by brundlefly at 3:12 PM on October 23, 2007
This is funny. Thanks.
posted by tepidmonkey at 3:13 PM on October 23, 2007
posted by tepidmonkey at 3:13 PM on October 23, 2007
yes, we will
When I was a kid our cat used to wake me up to get out of my room. Because it was so early I would resist getting up. She would then jump onto the dresser and start pushing things over the edge to the floor. One morning she had pushed a sports trophy right to the edge, staring at me she meowed again, and then while staring at me, not the trophy, pushed it to its doom. Damn cat.
posted by caddis at 3:14 PM on October 23, 2007 [7 favorites]
When I was a kid our cat used to wake me up to get out of my room. Because it was so early I would resist getting up. She would then jump onto the dresser and start pushing things over the edge to the floor. One morning she had pushed a sports trophy right to the edge, staring at me she meowed again, and then while staring at me, not the trophy, pushed it to its doom. Damn cat.
posted by caddis at 3:14 PM on October 23, 2007 [7 favorites]
We keep the cats out of the bedroom.
posted by mr. strange at 3:14 PM on October 23, 2007
posted by mr. strange at 3:14 PM on October 23, 2007
We keep the cats out of the bedroom.
Impossible here. They scratch the door, meow, etc. This one ends up licking my eyelids to get me up every morning.
posted by ericb at 3:18 PM on October 23, 2007
Impossible here. They scratch the door, meow, etc. This one ends up licking my eyelids to get me up every morning.
posted by ericb at 3:18 PM on October 23, 2007
mr. strange: "We keep the cats out of the bedroom."
I tried that. The cat started running full-force head-first into the door for hours until we gave in an let her in.
posted by octothorpe at 3:20 PM on October 23, 2007
I tried that. The cat started running full-force head-first into the door for hours until we gave in an let her in.
posted by octothorpe at 3:20 PM on October 23, 2007
Heh, that was awesome.
posted by puke & cry at 3:25 PM on October 23, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by puke & cry at 3:25 PM on October 23, 2007 [1 favorite]
This is a cat training video! Hide your bats from your cats!
posted by birdherder at 3:29 PM on October 23, 2007
posted by birdherder at 3:29 PM on October 23, 2007
funny stuff! Thanks... I sent the link to the daughter in france who is complaining that she has no cats... she needs to rethink that...
And... ericb this will solve the cat at the door problem... worked for us after one night!
posted by HuronBob at 3:30 PM on October 23, 2007
And... ericb this will solve the cat at the door problem... worked for us after one night!
posted by HuronBob at 3:30 PM on October 23, 2007
prizes and free kittens to anyone that can find more animation by this person!
posted by HuronBob at 3:40 PM on October 23, 2007
posted by HuronBob at 3:40 PM on October 23, 2007
The face touching? My cat does that. And only after ramping up to it with more subtle techniques. The wee git.
posted by everichon at 3:42 PM on October 23, 2007
posted by everichon at 3:42 PM on October 23, 2007
sephira: i noticed the same thing. vonnegut would be proud. *
this is about the 19th time i've seen this, and i still fucking love it. part of why i love it, though, is the comraderie between cat parents on this topic. soooo many people, all over the world, can share a laugh about this phenomenon.
unity through cat oppression! or something.
posted by CitizenD at 3:44 PM on October 23, 2007
this is about the 19th time i've seen this, and i still fucking love it. part of why i love it, though, is the comraderie between cat parents on this topic. soooo many people, all over the world, can share a laugh about this phenomenon.
unity through cat oppression! or something.
posted by CitizenD at 3:44 PM on October 23, 2007
Actually, my late beloved dog was very much like that, but didn't need the baseball bat because a 50 lb. lab/collie/mix jumping directly onto your head had pretty much the same effect.
posted by wendell at 3:45 PM on October 23, 2007
posted by wendell at 3:45 PM on October 23, 2007
This animation brings to mind the cartoons of the late B. Kliban.
posted by ericb at 3:53 PM on October 23, 2007
posted by ericb at 3:53 PM on October 23, 2007
The film forgot the part where the cat spills a glass of water on my iBook.
posted by localhuman at 3:54 PM on October 23, 2007 [2 favorites]
posted by localhuman at 3:54 PM on October 23, 2007 [2 favorites]
Mine specialises in gently (really) clawing open one eye of a sleeping person. Strangely, that person is never me, always whoever I'm living with.
posted by imperium at 3:55 PM on October 23, 2007
posted by imperium at 3:55 PM on October 23, 2007
prizes and free kittens to anyone that can find more animation by this person!
Apparently this is called "Cat Man Do" by Simon Tofield of Tandem Films. It's a flash site so I can't link to his page, click on 'Directors' then his name.
posted by puke & cry at 3:56 PM on October 23, 2007 [1 favorite]
Apparently this is called "Cat Man Do" by Simon Tofield of Tandem Films. It's a flash site so I can't link to his page, click on 'Directors' then his name.
posted by puke & cry at 3:56 PM on October 23, 2007 [1 favorite]
prizes and free kittens to anyone that can find more animation by this person!
The animator's name is Simon Tofield, and he works at Tandem Films. Supposedly you can see more of his work via that site (I'm having some trouble with it).
posted by carsonb at 4:02 PM on October 23, 2007
The animator's name is Simon Tofield, and he works at Tandem Films. Supposedly you can see more of his work via that site (I'm having some trouble with it).
posted by carsonb at 4:02 PM on October 23, 2007
We do that x5 at my house, every morning...
posted by blaneyphoto at 4:07 PM on October 23, 2007
posted by blaneyphoto at 4:07 PM on October 23, 2007
True Story:
Many years ago our landlord was painting the apartment. The bedroom was under construction, so I slept on the couch one weekend when the wife was out of town with a quilt ove me. one morning I woke up and lazily scratched my scrotum as males of the species are prone to do. One of our cats saw this and pounced right my nuts. Instinctively I drew my legs up to my chest as quickly as I could, which essentially made a catapault (no pun intended) of the quilt. I woke up to see the cat catapaulting into the next room over my head.
She was OK. But she waited and got her revenge.
posted by Mcable at 4:13 PM on October 23, 2007 [5 favorites]
Many years ago our landlord was painting the apartment. The bedroom was under construction, so I slept on the couch one weekend when the wife was out of town with a quilt ove me. one morning I woke up and lazily scratched my scrotum as males of the species are prone to do. One of our cats saw this and pounced right my nuts. Instinctively I drew my legs up to my chest as quickly as I could, which essentially made a catapault (no pun intended) of the quilt. I woke up to see the cat catapaulting into the next room over my head.
She was OK. But she waited and got her revenge.
posted by Mcable at 4:13 PM on October 23, 2007 [5 favorites]
Perfect. The only thing that I would change is to give it a Siamese style battle cry (if you own one, you know what I'm talking about), and instead of the bat, a long and high vertical leap from the top of the entertainment center, that terminates roughly where my crotch exists.
A fast and brutal path to awakening that happens roughly once a week in my house.
posted by quin at 4:13 PM on October 23, 2007 [2 favorites]
A fast and brutal path to awakening that happens roughly once a week in my house.
posted by quin at 4:13 PM on October 23, 2007 [2 favorites]
I nth the "it's exactly like that." With the exception of my cat becoming a furry, leg launched missile. This is why I can't have children (not any "ball" wounds, but I don't know how I'd react come Christmas morning.) I don't think ACS would react well to pajama clad, leg launched missiles...
posted by Debaser626 at 4:15 PM on October 23, 2007
posted by Debaser626 at 4:15 PM on October 23, 2007
One of my cats learned that licking thin or crinkly plastic (bag, cellophane, top of a kleenex box, etc) had the effect of annoying the hell out of the humans in the room. He would do this to wake us up if he was hungry at 4 or 5 in the morning. Fun stuff. Now he's just progressed to walking on top of you, and if that doesn't get you up, maybe a little nibble on your chin. One day he drew blood doing that.
But he's cute as all hell and gets away with it. Sigh.
posted by barc0001 at 4:19 PM on October 23, 2007
But he's cute as all hell and gets away with it. Sigh.
posted by barc0001 at 4:19 PM on October 23, 2007
The only thing that I would change is to give it a Siamese style battle cry (if you own one, you know what I'm talking about), and instead of the bat, a long and high vertical leap from the top of the entertainment center, that terminates roughly where my crotch exists.
Exactly.
Also, my father would get up to feed the cat but if he dared make a detour to stop by the bathroom first he would get bitten on his ankles so as to keep on the right course.
posted by lucia__is__dada at 4:21 PM on October 23, 2007 [2 favorites]
Exactly.
Also, my father would get up to feed the cat but if he dared make a detour to stop by the bathroom first he would get bitten on his ankles so as to keep on the right course.
posted by lucia__is__dada at 4:21 PM on October 23, 2007 [2 favorites]
aww, adorable video vronsky.
My first cat, PeeWee, sucked my 7 year old earlobe ferociously and since I'm allergic to cat saliva I'd wake up to an itchy ear. But it was fair game because he had brown paw pads that looked like chocolate and I used to suck his paws.
Dogs are very much like this little rascal in the morning when they want their breakfast.
Give Tink a snuggle for me.
posted by nickyskye at 4:36 PM on October 23, 2007
My first cat, PeeWee, sucked my 7 year old earlobe ferociously and since I'm allergic to cat saliva I'd wake up to an itchy ear. But it was fair game because he had brown paw pads that looked like chocolate and I used to suck his paws.
Dogs are very much like this little rascal in the morning when they want their breakfast.
Give Tink a snuggle for me.
posted by nickyskye at 4:36 PM on October 23, 2007
This one ends up licking my eyelids to get me up every morning.
Oh my God! My girlfriend and I just got a kitten about a month ago and she does this incessantly, except not in the morning for want of food but in the middle of the night for god knows why.
posted by ChestnutMonkey at 4:41 PM on October 23, 2007
Oh my God! My girlfriend and I just got a kitten about a month ago and she does this incessantly, except not in the morning for want of food but in the middle of the night for god knows why.
posted by ChestnutMonkey at 4:41 PM on October 23, 2007
Sucking cat paws? There's something else kitty had that looked like chocolate. Good thing you stayed away from the litterbox.
Cute video.
posted by ranchocalamari at 4:43 PM on October 23, 2007
Cute video.
posted by ranchocalamari at 4:43 PM on October 23, 2007
One of my cats learned that licking thin or crinkly plastic (bag, cellophane, top of a kleenex box, etc) had the effect of annoying the hell out of the humans in the room.
SifCat does that with the plastic bag or anything that will make noise. If she can't find anything on the floor to play with, she'll headbutt the sliding closet door.
EVERY DAY I wake up at 6:30am or so to "thump... thump... thump". I'll sit up, and SifCat will be sitting there next to the closet waiting to be let out.
I just love being the kitty doorman.
Oh, and did I mention that we had to upgrade to a king-sized bed because a queen just wasn't big enough for me, my wife, AND the cat?
posted by mrbill at 4:47 PM on October 23, 2007 [1 favorite]
SifCat does that with the plastic bag or anything that will make noise. If she can't find anything on the floor to play with, she'll headbutt the sliding closet door.
EVERY DAY I wake up at 6:30am or so to "thump... thump... thump". I'll sit up, and SifCat will be sitting there next to the closet waiting to be let out.
I just love being the kitty doorman.
Oh, and did I mention that we had to upgrade to a king-sized bed because a queen just wasn't big enough for me, my wife, AND the cat?
posted by mrbill at 4:47 PM on October 23, 2007 [1 favorite]
As to the licking plastic bags thing, it seems that it's because bags nowadays are made with fish oils, animal fats, and corn starch.
Only one of my cats does this, but my god is it irritating. The only solution I've found is to take the bag away and hide it.
posted by quin at 5:03 PM on October 23, 2007 [2 favorites]
Only one of my cats does this, but my god is it irritating. The only solution I've found is to take the bag away and hide it.
posted by quin at 5:03 PM on October 23, 2007 [2 favorites]
I totally thought it was just our baby monkey (yeah, we call our cat a monkey and also a baby, along with cat and kitty and her proper name) Cleo that did that.
Then I saw the cartoon, and was like "OMFG, that is so true!"
My cat usually just pats the face, but sometimes, she'll stand on my head (I'm a heavy sleeper, so usually I don't even notice), but what gets me going (and she knows this), is when she stands on the radio alarm clock, which so conveniently has the buttons on top to set the time. Guess whose clock continually keeps getting set to strange times?
She gets her treat in the mornings after I get up, but I refuse to actually get up before it's time, so even though I'm awake and fighting with her to "get off the fucking clock, damnit!" she just has to suffer.
Though I'm sure she thinks it's just a funny little game.
She's also likes to lick my face, even going so far one time as to give me an honest to god wet willie. Imagine waking up to a cat licking inside your ear!
I love all these cat stories.
posted by symbioid at 5:07 PM on October 23, 2007
Then I saw the cartoon, and was like "OMFG, that is so true!"
My cat usually just pats the face, but sometimes, she'll stand on my head (I'm a heavy sleeper, so usually I don't even notice), but what gets me going (and she knows this), is when she stands on the radio alarm clock, which so conveniently has the buttons on top to set the time. Guess whose clock continually keeps getting set to strange times?
She gets her treat in the mornings after I get up, but I refuse to actually get up before it's time, so even though I'm awake and fighting with her to "get off the fucking clock, damnit!" she just has to suffer.
Though I'm sure she thinks it's just a funny little game.
She's also likes to lick my face, even going so far one time as to give me an honest to god wet willie. Imagine waking up to a cat licking inside your ear!
I love all these cat stories.
posted by symbioid at 5:07 PM on October 23, 2007
This is why you feed cats at night.
You people know this thread is useless without pics, right?
posted by sugarfish at 5:17 PM on October 23, 2007 [1 favorite]
You people know this thread is useless without pics, right?
posted by sugarfish at 5:17 PM on October 23, 2007 [1 favorite]
Automatic kitty feeder solves this problem real quick -- you see, it's not you feeding the cat.. it's the machine.
I actually have the reverse problem: kitty wants to snuggle up with me in bed in the morning. Makes it real hard to get up...
posted by LordSludge at 5:23 PM on October 23, 2007
I actually have the reverse problem: kitty wants to snuggle up with me in bed in the morning. Makes it real hard to get up...
posted by LordSludge at 5:23 PM on October 23, 2007
you know those email forwards you get 37 times from different people? i never knew they were the best of the web until now.
posted by quonsar at 5:24 PM on October 23, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by quonsar at 5:24 PM on October 23, 2007 [1 favorite]
Adorable video, vronsky!
We used to have this wonderful, bad-tempered tortoise shelled puss that would wake up my husband every morning by sitting on his chest and imitating the sound of his alarm clock. (This would be after he'd pounded the alarm off in his sleep.) She would make this odd trilling noise that sounded exactly like the bell on his clock-
r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rrriiiiiin-n-n-n-g
r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rrriiiiiin-n-n-n-g
r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rrriiiiiin-n-n-n-g
until the pure unnaturalness of it snapped him out of his slumber. I really, really wish I'd been awake enough to record her just once, because it was the weirdest sound I've ever heard coming out of a cat.
posted by maryh at 5:45 PM on October 23, 2007 [1 favorite]
We used to have this wonderful, bad-tempered tortoise shelled puss that would wake up my husband every morning by sitting on his chest and imitating the sound of his alarm clock. (This would be after he'd pounded the alarm off in his sleep.) She would make this odd trilling noise that sounded exactly like the bell on his clock-
r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rrriiiiiin-n-n-n-g
r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rrriiiiiin-n-n-n-g
r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rrriiiiiin-n-n-n-g
until the pure unnaturalness of it snapped him out of his slumber. I really, really wish I'd been awake enough to record her just once, because it was the weirdest sound I've ever heard coming out of a cat.
posted by maryh at 5:45 PM on October 23, 2007 [1 favorite]
This is exactly what happens to me every morning, except less with the making biscuits and more with the incessant meowing. And face touching.
posted by hooray at 5:51 PM on October 23, 2007
posted by hooray at 5:51 PM on October 23, 2007
Luckily no baby was involved in this...
My cats will act like this sometimes. Other times, they'll wait until I'm awake and then wait until I foolishly present them a lap to sit on. Then one of them (usually Edison), will curl up into a comfortable ball on my lap as quickly as possible and start purring.
He'll only do this on days I work or need to leave in a hurry.
posted by drezdn at 5:53 PM on October 23, 2007
My cats will act like this sometimes. Other times, they'll wait until I'm awake and then wait until I foolishly present them a lap to sit on. Then one of them (usually Edison), will curl up into a comfortable ball on my lap as quickly as possible and start purring.
He'll only do this on days I work or need to leave in a hurry.
posted by drezdn at 5:53 PM on October 23, 2007
Wow. And all this time I thought pussy-whipped stemmed from a term for female anatomy inappropriate for use in civilized company.
posted by po at 6:04 PM on October 23, 2007
posted by po at 6:04 PM on October 23, 2007
Metafilter: she's got her Food Network recipes, I've got my goatse. But this is the perfect halfway point.
Also, when I was younger I had this condition where basically I would seize and pass out without warning. It could happen at any moment, without provocation. One morning at about 5 I was up getting breakfast for Lord Kitty and I seized up and went down on the kitchen floor. Apparently under the impression that I'd decided to take a linoleum snooze halfway through my chef's duties, Lord Kitty shredded my face while I was unconscious, then jumped onto the counter and FINISHED OPENING THE TIN OF CAT FOOD WITH HER PAWS. I came to after what I estimate to be 5 minutes, the catfood lid on the floor next to me collecting blood from my streaming face, Lord Kitty napping happily on the counter. Every morning after that, she'd let me pull the tab off her catfood about halfway, then would butt in and finish it. I guess she figured that if satisfying her in the morning bored me so much that I fell asleep in the middle, she'd fucking well do it herself.
posted by scarylarry at 6:14 PM on October 23, 2007 [9 favorites]
Also, when I was younger I had this condition where basically I would seize and pass out without warning. It could happen at any moment, without provocation. One morning at about 5 I was up getting breakfast for Lord Kitty and I seized up and went down on the kitchen floor. Apparently under the impression that I'd decided to take a linoleum snooze halfway through my chef's duties, Lord Kitty shredded my face while I was unconscious, then jumped onto the counter and FINISHED OPENING THE TIN OF CAT FOOD WITH HER PAWS. I came to after what I estimate to be 5 minutes, the catfood lid on the floor next to me collecting blood from my streaming face, Lord Kitty napping happily on the counter. Every morning after that, she'd let me pull the tab off her catfood about halfway, then would butt in and finish it. I guess she figured that if satisfying her in the morning bored me so much that I fell asleep in the middle, she'd fucking well do it herself.
posted by scarylarry at 6:14 PM on October 23, 2007 [9 favorites]
This video is so true and represents my experience with a 26lbs cat on my back (Dominik) in the morning while I was 4 months pregnant. and that's also why we gave him away. Now he's with a couple who appreciates and loves all of his quirks.
posted by czechmate at 6:14 PM on October 23, 2007
posted by czechmate at 6:14 PM on October 23, 2007
Pretty damn accurate.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 6:18 PM on October 23, 2007
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 6:18 PM on October 23, 2007
Very cute video, vronsky. And I'm enjoying reading the thread. Two of my cats couldn't care less whether I wake up or not, but one of them is exactly like the cat in the video (minus the baseball bat, as other have noted). Her "secret weapon" is biting my earrings and trying to pull them out of my ears. That's always a guaranteed waker-upper.
posted by amyms at 6:26 PM on October 23, 2007
posted by amyms at 6:26 PM on October 23, 2007
my leon kitty, in addition to the face-patting, will also "comb" my hair with his claws. and if i don't respond quickly enough...he'll jump up onto my dresser and slowly, eeeeever so purposefully, tap-tap-tap a knicknack until it crashes to the ground.
he'll actually tap-tap-tap then stop to look and see if i'm looking at him. if i am not, he'll continue tapping, looking, tapping, looking until he knocks the thing off.
if i do look directly at him, he steadily pushes said knicknack efficiently but luxuriously to the edge, and give one final tap. all the while, maintaining wicked eye contact. he's a willful little bastard.
but then, it's also quite a start to be awakened by the 5 1/2 mo. old shepherd mix (actually, i think she's purebred indiana red dog) repeatedly poking my face with her sweet but moist nose, until the entire accessible surface area has been sufficiently poked. poke poke poke.
the 14 yr old dog, the 13 yr old dog, and the 15 yr old cat are much more my style. sleep all the fucking time.
even the willful little bastard is worth it...his tummy is utopia, with its downy fluff and warm familiarity. snorgleable.
posted by CitizenD at 6:44 PM on October 23, 2007 [1 favorite]
he'll actually tap-tap-tap then stop to look and see if i'm looking at him. if i am not, he'll continue tapping, looking, tapping, looking until he knocks the thing off.
if i do look directly at him, he steadily pushes said knicknack efficiently but luxuriously to the edge, and give one final tap. all the while, maintaining wicked eye contact. he's a willful little bastard.
but then, it's also quite a start to be awakened by the 5 1/2 mo. old shepherd mix (actually, i think she's purebred indiana red dog) repeatedly poking my face with her sweet but moist nose, until the entire accessible surface area has been sufficiently poked. poke poke poke.
the 14 yr old dog, the 13 yr old dog, and the 15 yr old cat are much more my style. sleep all the fucking time.
even the willful little bastard is worth it...his tummy is utopia, with its downy fluff and warm familiarity. snorgleable.
posted by CitizenD at 6:44 PM on October 23, 2007 [1 favorite]
Peckinpah, from the thread that Greg Nog links to upthread:
"He's like an annoying autistic neighbor kid who lives in your house and likes to bite your legs and stare at you blankly from accross the room for twenty minutes at a time and farts when you pick him up and eats roaches for fun. He's hilarious. How could I get rid of such an entertaining creature?"
i just had an anyurysm from laughing at that. what a delightfully perfect characterization.
posted by CitizenD at 6:57 PM on October 23, 2007
"He's like an annoying autistic neighbor kid who lives in your house and likes to bite your legs and stare at you blankly from accross the room for twenty minutes at a time and farts when you pick him up and eats roaches for fun. He's hilarious. How could I get rid of such an entertaining creature?"
i just had an anyurysm from laughing at that. what a delightfully perfect characterization.
posted by CitizenD at 6:57 PM on October 23, 2007
I don't know. To me, this doesn't quite capture it. It lacks the tickle of whiskers on my cheeks and the experience of opening my eyes to find my field of view filled by a sniffing catface.
posted by rlk at 7:00 PM on October 23, 2007
posted by rlk at 7:00 PM on October 23, 2007
something else kitty had that looked like chocolate. Good thing you stayed away from the litterbox
ach, no it wasn't just anything brown, you silly. It was a nice morning snuggling PeeWee in bed before getting up and imagining his darling paw pads were chocolate. I knew they weren't, it was just part of our friendship. And he let me, the way some cats and dogs can be patient with kids and let them get away with dumb stuff.
posted by nickyskye at 7:00 PM on October 23, 2007
ach, no it wasn't just anything brown, you silly. It was a nice morning snuggling PeeWee in bed before getting up and imagining his darling paw pads were chocolate. I knew they weren't, it was just part of our friendship. And he let me, the way some cats and dogs can be patient with kids and let them get away with dumb stuff.
posted by nickyskye at 7:00 PM on October 23, 2007
Awesome. I laughed so hard I could hardly breathe! :) This reminds me I need to clip her claws tonight, actually.
Also this seems an oppropriate time to mention that my cat shreds paper. Never useless paper, only papers that have something I want to keep.
posted by marble at 7:13 PM on October 23, 2007
Also this seems an oppropriate time to mention that my cat shreds paper. Never useless paper, only papers that have something I want to keep.
posted by marble at 7:13 PM on October 23, 2007
Some day a cat-hater is going to post a thread like this, draw all the cat people in, and nuke the site from orbit.
Perfect representation, though.
posted by yhbc at 7:30 PM on October 23, 2007
Perfect representation, though.
posted by yhbc at 7:30 PM on October 23, 2007
I showed it to my cat. She watched it, and looked at me like I'm an idiot. I think she was slightly insulted.
But I liked it. Humans are easy.
posted by homunculus at 8:25 PM on October 23, 2007
But I liked it. Humans are easy.
posted by homunculus at 8:25 PM on October 23, 2007
I guess I need to find the hidden camera in my room - he has obviously been filming my chatty, nutty, wonderful Killywilly.
posted by killy willy at 8:53 PM on October 23, 2007
posted by killy willy at 8:53 PM on October 23, 2007
This one steps on my windpipe as often as it takes.
posted by hermitosis at 8:58 PM on October 23, 2007
posted by hermitosis at 8:58 PM on October 23, 2007
This reminded me of the first time I ever had sex with the last girlfriend I had before my wife. Halfway through, one of her cats jumped right up onto my ass in mid-thrust, dug its claws as deeply as it could into my cheeks and perched there triumphantly, as if it'd stayed on for eight seconds and therefore won the rodeo trophy.
posted by middleclasstool at 9:22 PM on October 23, 2007 [9 favorites]
posted by middleclasstool at 9:22 PM on October 23, 2007 [9 favorites]
My cat doesn't wake me up in the morning.
She does come and give me an "are you done with that?" look when I step out of the shower, and that's the first I see of her.
And, while I played it, she was very concerned with where the cat noises were coming from. Hee. And now that they've stopped, she's wandered off to sleep or something.
She's a great cat.
posted by ambilevous at 9:23 PM on October 23, 2007
She does come and give me an "are you done with that?" look when I step out of the shower, and that's the first I see of her.
And, while I played it, she was very concerned with where the cat noises were coming from. Hee. And now that they've stopped, she's wandered off to sleep or something.
She's a great cat.
posted by ambilevous at 9:23 PM on October 23, 2007
When I get in bed with a book or magazine, one of my cats makes a beeline for me. He kneads my genitals, then settles down on them.
posted by neuron at 9:35 PM on October 23, 2007
posted by neuron at 9:35 PM on October 23, 2007
Cats confuse me. How can such hideous behavior be appealing? Seriously, I fully think it's adorable and hilarious, and this is speaking as someone who vividly remembers having my sister's cat pounce on my seven-year-old head from a bookshelf and dig in for dear life while I ran around the room screaming.
If ever there was an argument against evolution, it's that we "intelligent" primates would devote ourselves to caring for such sadistic creatures.
posted by Riki tiki at 10:25 PM on October 23, 2007 [1 favorite]
If ever there was an argument against evolution, it's that we "intelligent" primates would devote ourselves to caring for such sadistic creatures.
posted by Riki tiki at 10:25 PM on October 23, 2007 [1 favorite]
When I get in bed with a book or magazine, one of my cats makes a beeline for me. He kneads my genitals, then settles down on them.
One of my cats always wants to make a little "valley" for herself in my cleavage when I'm in a reclining position while reading. She kneads my boobs to the side and then settles in. At first I was bothered by it and tried to push her away, but she was so insistent that I finally relented. Now it's like "Okay, fine! Just get settled and get it over with so I can read my book in peace!"
posted by amyms at 10:27 PM on October 23, 2007
One of my cats always wants to make a little "valley" for herself in my cleavage when I'm in a reclining position while reading. She kneads my boobs to the side and then settles in. At first I was bothered by it and tried to push her away, but she was so insistent that I finally relented. Now it's like "Okay, fine! Just get settled and get it over with so I can read my book in peace!"
posted by amyms at 10:27 PM on October 23, 2007
That film is fairly accurate, but why would the cat need a baseball bat when there is a pair of testicles that can be stomped upon, with all body weight concentrated in the stomping foot? It's a common and effective waking technique used by cats everywhere.
posted by louche mustachio at 10:41 PM on October 23, 2007
posted by louche mustachio at 10:41 PM on October 23, 2007
Our cat likes to either sneeze or drool on our faces to wake us up at 5:30 am.
It really sucks.
posted by peeedro at 11:09 PM on October 23, 2007
It really sucks.
posted by peeedro at 11:09 PM on October 23, 2007
My darlink chestcat, with genuine no-glasses blurriness.
posted by coriolisdave at 12:24 AM on October 24, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by coriolisdave at 12:24 AM on October 24, 2007 [1 favorite]
My cats normally knead blanket biscuits to get my attention then work their way up to my face. But one day last week I woke up to one of my cats with their face inches away from my face while I slept. Bastard was trying to steal my breath.
posted by puke & cry at 1:24 AM on October 24, 2007
posted by puke & cry at 1:24 AM on October 24, 2007
Our two cats, Tink and Angie, have perfected the "divebomb" technique of jumping up on the window ledge to gain height, then leaping down on us sleeping humans. That takes the place of the baseball bat. Followed by a quick game of "ur foot, i has it*"
*name derived from lolcats. See also "ur hand, i has it" and "noo, they be steelin my shoelaces".
posted by primer_dimer at 2:27 AM on October 24, 2007 [1 favorite]
*name derived from lolcats. See also "ur hand, i has it" and "noo, they be steelin my shoelaces".
posted by primer_dimer at 2:27 AM on October 24, 2007 [1 favorite]
One of my cats used to whap on the hanging blinds in the morning to wake me up. I'd look up and he'd be looking right at me and whap them once more for good measure. During my single days when I had an airbed, he'd launch himself from the window ledge onto the bed (which would promptly create a wave in the entire bed) and then run like hell because he knew what trouble he'd be in if I caught him at that moment... And then he'd do it again every ten minutes until I got up. Now that I'm married with a husband who gets up before I do, he pretty much leaves me alone although he will sit between our heads and purr as loud as he possibly can and urp every time either one of us moves.
Interestingly, out of four cats he is the only one who does the food begging, morning wake-up routine.
posted by Kimberly at 4:50 AM on October 24, 2007
Interestingly, out of four cats he is the only one who does the food begging, morning wake-up routine.
posted by Kimberly at 4:50 AM on October 24, 2007
The sequel to this film shows the part where you finally get out of bed to feed the cat, and the little bugger manages to get between your legs on the way down the stairs, turning you into a human toboggan with no brakes that can only be stopped by a large piece of furniture, or the back of the closed front door.
posted by steef at 5:43 AM on October 24, 2007
posted by steef at 5:43 AM on October 24, 2007
This guy wakes me up every morning exactly half an hour before my alarm is set to go off. He starts my delicately licking my nose, and when that doesn't work, he knocks everything off of my nightstand, and when that doesn't work, he stands on me and meows. Clearly naming him James Bond destined him for determination and mischievousness.
posted by leesh at 5:51 AM on October 24, 2007
posted by leesh at 5:51 AM on October 24, 2007
The face touching. Oh yes, the face touching. That's how I can always tell when toenail clipping needs to take place. Nothing like pointy needles to the sensitive facial skin to wake me right up. But that's just what the sweet one does. The real monster in the house climbs to the top of the very tall lingerie chest and leaps with all 17 pounds of himself, directly into any soft belly areas left exposed. Repeatedly, if necessary. It usually isn't necessary, mostly because of the other one's face touching habit.
And if none of those tactics work, and they are really, really hungry, then they set in sucking on the sheet hem or pillow case as loudly and wetly as possible.
Big babies!
posted by Orb at 6:11 AM on October 24, 2007
And if none of those tactics work, and they are really, really hungry, then they set in sucking on the sheet hem or pillow case as loudly and wetly as possible.
Big babies!
posted by Orb at 6:11 AM on October 24, 2007
My first cat, PeeWee,
Hey, my first cat was named PeeWee too! It's brutal to give your porn-star name, no?
posted by brain_drain at 6:36 AM on October 24, 2007
Hey, my first cat was named PeeWee too! It's brutal to give your porn-star name, no?
posted by brain_drain at 6:36 AM on October 24, 2007
Our cat was even more insidious. As soon as the alarm went off, she would creep under the covers, curl up in the crook of your lap and turn on the purr. Guaranteed to send you back to sleep and make you late for work.
The fiend!
posted by nax at 6:45 AM on October 24, 2007 [2 favorites]
The fiend!
posted by nax at 6:45 AM on October 24, 2007 [2 favorites]
It's brutal to give your porn-star name, no?
Your cat was PeeWee too? I those days of yore, PeeWee meant tiny. But it was sort of a risqué name back then too. My baby was the runt of the litter, looked like a mini version of Orb's "monster". Always liked gray cats since, they seem to have a special demeanor.
posted by nickyskye at 8:32 AM on October 24, 2007
Your cat was PeeWee too? I those days of yore, PeeWee meant tiny. But it was sort of a risqué name back then too. My baby was the runt of the litter, looked like a mini version of Orb's "monster". Always liked gray cats since, they seem to have a special demeanor.
posted by nickyskye at 8:32 AM on October 24, 2007
We have the perfect solution; the 13 year old begged for Smoky (or Mr. Kittles, depending on who's talking) to be "his" cat, so he is, and he sleeps in the kid's room. Any wake up shenanigans are happening to a 7th grader, who thinks they're the funniest things EVAR.
Me, I'm old, and I need to sleep.
posted by jennaratrix at 12:54 PM on October 24, 2007
Me, I'm old, and I need to sleep.
posted by jennaratrix at 12:54 PM on October 24, 2007
I used to have a cat who would wake me up by shoving his ass in my face.
Let me tell you, cat ass in the face is not nearly as sweet as the cat petting your face first thing in the morning.
I had another cat who liked to wake my former girlfriend and I up in the middle of the night by pissing right in the middle of the bed.
Good times. Good times.
Also, with regards to the evolution quip above, let's not forget that cats domesticated us, not the other way around.
posted by MythMaker at 10:04 PM on October 24, 2007
Let me tell you, cat ass in the face is not nearly as sweet as the cat petting your face first thing in the morning.
I had another cat who liked to wake my former girlfriend and I up in the middle of the night by pissing right in the middle of the bed.
Good times. Good times.
Also, with regards to the evolution quip above, let's not forget that cats domesticated us, not the other way around.
posted by MythMaker at 10:04 PM on October 24, 2007
Once had a roommate with a very fat gray and white cat. It had the loose fur udders and everything. I'll call him B. so as to not embarrass him necessarily.
One day B. was laying on my bed, happy and comfortable doing that "I am the most excellent creature to ever walk the face of the earth" thing that cats do so well when suddenly, with a loud freaked out scream. He launched like a rocket, straight up into the air, his chubby body flattening out like a pancake and floated ever so slow and majestically across the room like a cat UFO, where he finally descended back to earth looking disoriented and pissed off.
It was freaky.
Has anyone else seen this sort of cat UFO behavior?
posted by Skygazer at 9:03 AM on October 27, 2007
One day B. was laying on my bed, happy and comfortable doing that "I am the most excellent creature to ever walk the face of the earth" thing that cats do so well when suddenly, with a loud freaked out scream. He launched like a rocket, straight up into the air, his chubby body flattening out like a pancake and floated ever so slow and majestically across the room like a cat UFO, where he finally descended back to earth looking disoriented and pissed off.
It was freaky.
Has anyone else seen this sort of cat UFO behavior?
posted by Skygazer at 9:03 AM on October 27, 2007
Skygazer, have you, by any chance, been hanging out with Unicorn on the cob?
posted by nickyskye at 9:33 AM on October 27, 2007
posted by nickyskye at 9:33 AM on October 27, 2007
It would explain a lot if you think of cats as being on a 24/7 natural ecstasy high. Lucky bastards.
I wonder if you lick a cat, if you can get like a little mini Ex trip going?
Hmmm...
posted by Skygazer at 10:45 AM on October 27, 2007
I wonder if you lick a cat, if you can get like a little mini Ex trip going?
Hmmm...
posted by Skygazer at 10:45 AM on October 27, 2007
lol, yeah, it must have been your fuzzy rascal on the ex, that's gotta be it.
posted by nickyskye at 12:08 PM on October 27, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by nickyskye at 12:08 PM on October 27, 2007 [1 favorite]
Yes, skygazer, our cat used to do that to. But she was small and fuzzy, so she didn't have the amazing effect you seem to have observed.
She did, however, haunt us for years. I'm not kidding--sometimes at night, we would hear her galloping down our long hall doing what we used to call "the 11:00 crazies." This is after she died. It stopped when we brought in a temporary replacement cat, who I think scared the ghost cat away (he was a scary guy-- we used to call him "Catzilla" because he destroyed everything in his path).
I miss the ghost cat.
posted by nax at 1:48 PM on October 27, 2007
She did, however, haunt us for years. I'm not kidding--sometimes at night, we would hear her galloping down our long hall doing what we used to call "the 11:00 crazies." This is after she died. It stopped when we brought in a temporary replacement cat, who I think scared the ghost cat away (he was a scary guy-- we used to call him "Catzilla" because he destroyed everything in his path).
I miss the ghost cat.
posted by nax at 1:48 PM on October 27, 2007
weirdly, I actually kind of miss ceiling cat watch me masturbate post to MetaFilter.
posted by caddis at 2:22 PM on October 27, 2007
posted by caddis at 2:22 PM on October 27, 2007
That's exactly like my 18 pound & 20 pound kitties. I don't need an alarm clock.
posted by mike3k at 7:12 AM on October 29, 2007
posted by mike3k at 7:12 AM on October 29, 2007
Heh, great video. My four cats do the same thing except for the baseball bat. The mister is continually amazed at what they do to me while I sleep through it. I think I'll pass on showing them the video; I don't want to give them any ideas about using large, blunt objects.
posted by deborah at 11:37 AM on October 30, 2007
posted by deborah at 11:37 AM on October 30, 2007
This is now on the front page of Yahoo, several days after I saw it here and forwarded it to friends and family. Thanks, MetaFilter, for making me appear ahead of the trends!
posted by yhbc at 7:32 AM on November 3, 2007
posted by yhbc at 7:32 AM on November 3, 2007
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posted by octothorpe at 3:04 PM on October 23, 2007