How to say "I love you"
November 8, 2007 8:41 PM Subscribe
How to say "I love you" "(42) Inappropriately, to a coworker who is already sleeping with another coworker. (43) With a heart filled with lies. (44) With a she puppet and a you puppet. (45) As she leaves for Spain with your much better-looking brother. (46) At Thanksgiving, to her twin sister, by accident."
OMG #100 made me cry laughing.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:00 PM on November 8, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:00 PM on November 8, 2007 [1 favorite]
This list reminds me of Borges:
These ambiguities, redundancies and deficiencies remind us of those which doctor Franz Kuhn attributes to a certain Chinese encyclopaedia entitled 'Celestial Empire of benevolent Knowledge'. In its remote pages it is written that the animals are divided into: (a) belonging to the emperor, (b) embalmed, (c) tame, (d) sucking pigs, (e) sirens, (f) fabulous, (g) stray dogs, (h) included in the present classification, (i) frenzied, (j) innumerable, (k) drawn with a very fine camelhair brush, (l) et cetera, (m) having just broken the water pitcher, (n) that from a long way off look like flies.
posted by pombe at 9:15 PM on November 8, 2007 [3 favorites]
These ambiguities, redundancies and deficiencies remind us of those which doctor Franz Kuhn attributes to a certain Chinese encyclopaedia entitled 'Celestial Empire of benevolent Knowledge'. In its remote pages it is written that the animals are divided into: (a) belonging to the emperor, (b) embalmed, (c) tame, (d) sucking pigs, (e) sirens, (f) fabulous, (g) stray dogs, (h) included in the present classification, (i) frenzied, (j) innumerable, (k) drawn with a very fine camelhair brush, (l) et cetera, (m) having just broken the water pitcher, (n) that from a long way off look like flies.
posted by pombe at 9:15 PM on November 8, 2007 [3 favorites]
10-17 are quite touching in their own way.
posted by TwoWordReview at 9:16 PM on November 8, 2007
posted by TwoWordReview at 9:16 PM on November 8, 2007
That post was beautiful, and the dogs were fantastic (thanks miss lynnster I liked the Husky better than the FPP's).
posted by onalark at 9:19 PM on November 8, 2007
posted by onalark at 9:19 PM on November 8, 2007
Until Porter Wagner died, I had no idea Dolly Parton wrote "I will always love you".
posted by trip and a half at 9:20 PM on November 8, 2007
posted by trip and a half at 9:20 PM on November 8, 2007
Now this is truly, the best of the web. And holy awesome, nice space opera on number 30.
posted by eurasian at 9:20 PM on November 8, 2007
posted by eurasian at 9:20 PM on November 8, 2007
Dear friend, I am writing this note to discuss with you my amorous emotions, of which, I have, for you.
posted by blue_beetle at 10:13 PM on November 8, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by blue_beetle at 10:13 PM on November 8, 2007 [1 favorite]
(4) with wee spaniels
The wife is a bit wan at the mo. I might try it. What she does need are wee spaniels- can't hurt I suppose.
posted by mattoxic at 10:26 PM on November 8, 2007
The wife is a bit wan at the mo. I might try it. What she does need are wee spaniels- can't hurt I suppose.
posted by mattoxic at 10:26 PM on November 8, 2007
I love you now, dhruva!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:22 AM on November 9, 2007
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:22 AM on November 9, 2007
Wow. Brilliant and funny, and not a single lolcat joke.
(There may be a causal relationship between these things.)
More like this, please.
posted by rokusan at 1:00 AM on November 9, 2007
(There may be a causal relationship between these things.)
More like this, please.
posted by rokusan at 1:00 AM on November 9, 2007
Until Porter Wagner died, I had no idea Dolly Parton wrote "I will always love you".
Knowing the story behind it -- how they were finally breaking up due largely to Porter's alcoholism, but he'd given her her break and made her career -- transforms it from MOR dreck to a really poignant thing.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:38 AM on November 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
Knowing the story behind it -- how they were finally breaking up due largely to Porter's alcoholism, but he'd given her her break and made her career -- transforms it from MOR dreck to a really poignant thing.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:38 AM on November 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
Porter Wagner
The man who put the Opry in Grand Old Opry.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:42 AM on November 9, 2007
The man who put the Opry in Grand Old Opry.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:42 AM on November 9, 2007
(4) with wee spaniels
Never have I been more embarrassed than the time I got those final two words in the wrong order.
posted by Sparx at 3:37 AM on November 9, 2007 [2 favorites]
Never have I been more embarrassed than the time I got those final two words in the wrong order.
posted by Sparx at 3:37 AM on November 9, 2007 [2 favorites]
Now all we need is a list of ways to say "I hate you".
posted by orange swan at 6:19 AM on November 9, 2007
posted by orange swan at 6:19 AM on November 9, 2007
101. In a comment on a lovely thread on Metafilter.
posted by arcticwoman at 6:30 AM on November 9, 2007
posted by arcticwoman at 6:30 AM on November 9, 2007
What better way to say "I love you" than with the gift of a Spatula?
posted by jozxyqk at 6:57 AM on November 9, 2007
posted by jozxyqk at 6:57 AM on November 9, 2007
#41 is the reason why I'll be sitting at my kitchen table at 3 AM tomorrow, drinking a cup of warm milk and trying to forget the nightmares.
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 7:02 AM on November 9, 2007
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 7:02 AM on November 9, 2007
So now a single-link post (with embedded YouTube) is the best of the web? Jessamyn! Do the right thing!
posted by ftrain at 7:18 AM on November 9, 2007 [2 favorites]
posted by ftrain at 7:18 AM on November 9, 2007 [2 favorites]
102. Whispered, barely audibly, in bed.
We’d known each other only a week, see, met via an online personal ad, and had just spent an incredible weekend together. I thought I’d heard her say it earlier in the evening, but, nah, I thought maybe it was just what I’d wanted to hear. But this time, this time I was sure I heard her say “I love you,” though she was clearly afraid to say it, afraid that it was way too early to be feeling such a thing, much less to be saying it.
I said it back. 5 years later, we’re still saying it.
posted by MrMoonPie at 7:27 AM on November 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
We’d known each other only a week, see, met via an online personal ad, and had just spent an incredible weekend together. I thought I’d heard her say it earlier in the evening, but, nah, I thought maybe it was just what I’d wanted to hear. But this time, this time I was sure I heard her say “I love you,” though she was clearly afraid to say it, afraid that it was way too early to be feeling such a thing, much less to be saying it.
I said it back. 5 years later, we’re still saying it.
posted by MrMoonPie at 7:27 AM on November 9, 2007 [1 favorite]
(85) with emo mix-CDs;
Matt, please please please do not let this person anywhere near AskMe.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 7:34 AM on November 9, 2007
Matt, please please please do not let this person anywhere near AskMe.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 7:34 AM on November 9, 2007
I remember that pug! From some other TV show. It was terrifying at the time, and I love pugs. I went around for days telling people about the pug that could say "eeeyyaaah roouuugh eeeeuuuhhh."
posted by piratebowling at 7:47 AM on November 9, 2007
posted by piratebowling at 7:47 AM on November 9, 2007
Matt, please please please do not let this person anywhere near AskMe.
Pssh. If you really loved us, you wouldn't spoil our fun.
posted by sparkletone at 8:19 AM on November 9, 2007
Pssh. If you really loved us, you wouldn't spoil our fun.
posted by sparkletone at 8:19 AM on November 9, 2007
(100) Active content removed Active content removed
aaaaarrrgh
maybe tonight then.
posted by sidereal at 8:29 AM on November 9, 2007
aaaaarrrgh
maybe tonight then.
posted by sidereal at 8:29 AM on November 9, 2007
Got this mushy cynic in far, far too many ways!
Really terrific indeed. Thanks so much dhruva
posted by Jody Tresidder at 8:53 AM on November 9, 2007
Really terrific indeed. Thanks so much dhruva
posted by Jody Tresidder at 8:53 AM on November 9, 2007
(103) With anatomically correct dolls.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 9:19 AM on November 9, 2007
posted by PeterMcDermott at 9:19 AM on November 9, 2007
Excellent. Thank, dhruva and Paul/ftrain.
posted by languagehat at 9:29 AM on November 9, 2007
posted by languagehat at 9:29 AM on November 9, 2007
Everything I know about unconditional love and acceptance I learned from my cat, which is why I'm always leaving dead animals in my girlfriend's bed.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 9:39 AM on November 9, 2007
posted by Parasite Unseen at 9:39 AM on November 9, 2007
10-17 are quite touching in their own way.
They made me cry.
I could sit down and name 100 ways my husband says he loves me every day. I am a lucky woman.
posted by SuzySmith at 10:23 AM on November 9, 2007
They made me cry.
I could sit down and name 100 ways my husband says he loves me every day. I am a lucky woman.
posted by SuzySmith at 10:23 AM on November 9, 2007
yeah, that's right. rub it in, suzysmith.
people only tell me they love me when i go away.
posted by CitizenD at 11:19 AM on November 9, 2007
people only tell me they love me when i go away.
posted by CitizenD at 11:19 AM on November 9, 2007
people only tell me they love me when i go away.
:-(
now I need to go tell my someone that I love them today.
posted by rooftop secrets at 1:00 PM on November 9, 2007
:-(
now I need to go tell my someone that I love them today.
posted by rooftop secrets at 1:00 PM on November 9, 2007
OH GOD, I saw that pug when it first aired and subsequently told everyone I knew about it - and no-one believed me. It may have been the highlight of my life.
posted by punchdrunkhistory at 9:06 AM on November 10, 2007
posted by punchdrunkhistory at 9:06 AM on November 10, 2007
Ah, I was getting all misty eyed until the last video. And now I am weeping because I am laughing so hard. Thank you so much dhruva!
posted by saturnine at 4:42 PM on November 10, 2007
posted by saturnine at 4:42 PM on November 10, 2007
That last video (#100) says "content removed" for me. Anybody got a working link (or at least a description so that I can search for it)? I'm super curious...
posted by mosessis at 12:56 PM on November 11, 2007
posted by mosessis at 12:56 PM on November 11, 2007
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