A Study in the Trickyness Involved in Rocking a Rhyme

November 9, 2007 5:52 PM

Rap represented in mathematical charts and graphs.
posted by 31d1 (65 comments total)

Tremendous.
posted by joe lisboa at 6:03 PM on November 9, 2007

I don't get it.

Still, it's pretty funny.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 6:08 PM on November 9, 2007

Brilliant.
posted by sappidus at 6:08 PM on November 9, 2007

Ha. "Unified Bitch Theory."
posted by tepidmonkey at 6:09 PM on November 9, 2007

I'm pretty sure this was made by Mullacc.
posted by SassHat at 6:12 PM on November 9, 2007

I wonder how many of these came from Something Awful charts and graphs threads. (I SWEAR I've seen some of these before, and they're not all in the same program or OS.)
posted by secret about box at 6:17 PM on November 9, 2007

Quality.
posted by psmith at 6:18 PM on November 9, 2007

Mikey: A lot them are, and not the same thread; I remember watching the the giant bubble cloud of song lyrics in progress not too long ago.
posted by cobaltnine at 6:20 PM on November 9, 2007

Excellent.
posted by arcticwoman at 6:31 PM on November 9, 2007

I finna histrogram this shit like what.
posted by mullacc at 6:38 PM on November 9, 2007 [2 favorites]

Why, why lord, did you take Herbert Kornfeld so soon? He would have loved this, you merciless bastard. ::pours 40 of Wite-Out::
posted by tristeza at 6:41 PM on November 9, 2007 [4 favorites]

The Unified Bitch Theory diagram is based on a fundamental misunderstanding of the lyric, in that "Bitches" should be fully encompassed by "Hoes" and "Tricks."
posted by abcde at 6:44 PM on November 9, 2007 [4 favorites]

Can someone explain that freek/leek one?
posted by arcticwoman at 6:49 PM on November 9, 2007

I don't get it.

I feel bad for you son
posted by dhammond at 6:57 PM on November 9, 2007 [4 favorites]

this is why i love the internet.
posted by dopamine at 7:10 PM on November 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

awesome. :)
posted by Dillonlikescookies at 7:17 PM on November 9, 2007

cobaltnine: they all came from the same place, except from 3-4 which may have come from anywhere
posted by jamphat at 7:18 PM on November 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

What abcde said. Also, I would fire all of these people if they made data this difficult to understand. You know, if anyone ever let me fire anyone.
posted by blacklite at 7:18 PM on November 9, 2007

Fuck:

• Your bitch
• The clique you claim
• Peace
• You
• Your motherfucking mama
• Mobb Deep
• Biggie
• Bad Boy as a:
  • staff
  • record label
  • motherfucking crew
• You, if you want to be down with Bad Boy
• Chino XL
• All you motherfuckers

You claim/believe:

• To be a playa
• That you can fly
• That you are the Mob

You are:

• A beat biter
• Pac style taker
• Mark ass bitches (Biggie Smalls and Junior Mafia, inclusive)

We suggest:

• When you see 2Pac:
• Grab your glocks
• Call the cops
• Little Caesar:
  -Ask your homie how I will leave you


• Lil' Kim:
  -Don't fuck around with real Gs.


• Mobb Deep:
  -Back the fuck up to avoid getting smacked the fuck up

I am:

• A self made millionaire
• Back to set the record straight
• Still the thug that you love to hate
• From New Jers

I plan to:

• Let them know it's on for life.
• Bring you fake Gs to your knees.
• Take money
• Set the record straight
• Crash and mash through Brooklyn
• Tell you to your face that you are a faker
• Hit them up.
• Kill all you motherfuckers
  • Biggie, initially
  • Everyone else who had to open their mouth with a motherfuckin opinion
  • Your children (using fo-fo)
• Bomb on you motherfuckers

Other misconceptions:

• I have no motherfuckin' friends
• This is not a freestyle battle
• We are not a joke
• We are not singing -Actually bringing drama

posted by spiderwire at 7:22 PM on November 9, 2007 [32 favorites]

Beautiful.
posted by shadow vector at 7:25 PM on November 9, 2007

Spiderwire: Is that for the PowerPoint version?
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 7:26 PM on November 9, 2007

I dunno, I've never used PowerPoint. That's the spiderwire-is-bored-of-studying-Contracts version, I guess.
posted by spiderwire at 7:28 PM on November 9, 2007

Rap songs this guy knows=6.
posted by klangklangston at 7:35 PM on November 9, 2007 [3 favorites]

Fantastic
posted by rxrfrx at 7:46 PM on November 9, 2007

Yo, use plotted coordinates (Cartesian)
On da shizz that's quotidian, like Asian
couture vs FUBU, y'all,
Or Chivas vis-à-vis Cristal.
Word: Back entrance if Mama speak Haitian!
posted by rob511 at 7:46 PM on November 9, 2007

I can't believe no one has shit in this thread yet, it being a hip-hop thread and all. Great post, btw. Got some good laughs out of it.
posted by shotgunbooty at 7:47 PM on November 9, 2007

Dataset needs updating and expression of currency in Euros.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 7:48 PM on November 9, 2007

I can't believe no one has shit in this thread yet, it being a hip-hop thread and all. Great post, btw. Got some good laughs out of it.

I'm just pleased that I finally got a decent opportunity to post my reinterpretation of "Hit 'Em Up."
posted by spiderwire at 7:52 PM on November 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

It's like...
posted by salvia at 7:55 PM on November 9, 2007

Gotta go old school.

Preludes to busting a move.
posted by mickmel at 7:55 PM on November 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

Def!
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 8:22 PM on November 9, 2007

hilarious!
posted by scose at 8:22 PM on November 9, 2007

No graphical representation of "half-shark alligator half-man," though. I suspect the alligator is hard to factor in.
posted by dontoine at 10:00 PM on November 9, 2007

A lot look sort of hastily put together, but the idea is gold. My favorite? Navi being in the intersection of "Hey" and "Listen".
posted by Earl the Polliwog at 10:22 PM on November 9, 2007

Why can't I be this clever?

:shrugs:

Great link...Thanks. You're cutting into my portal time but that's OK.
posted by neilkod at 10:23 PM on November 9, 2007

I couldn't help but notice that the "Frequency of letter appearance" contains incorrect data, inasmuch as the letter "o" only appears three times in Snoop Dogg's name rather than the four represented in the graph.

okay, done geeking out now

deez nutz!
posted by davejay at 10:29 PM on November 9, 2007

Oh, and that "Everything" graph is entirely too well done.
posted by davejay at 10:34 PM on November 9, 2007

THis was a great fpp.
Jigga, Center of Every Operation doesn't do drugs tho.

Onyx .

a.) bashes
b.) jams
c.) slams!!
d.) holds it down
posted by Student of Man at 11:39 PM on November 9, 2007

What about Biggy's gun inventory?

Seven Mac 11s, about eight 38s, nine 9s, ten Mac10s, the shit never ends.

Also how about a venn diagram of things you can touch?
posted by autodidact at 12:23 AM on November 10, 2007

Are you sure he's referencing "Snoop Dogg"? Maybe it's "Snoop Doggy Dog", in which case there is indeed three Os in his name.
posted by Talanvor at 1:30 AM on November 10, 2007

autodidact: Biggie's guns are already in there.
posted by abcde at 2:12 AM on November 10, 2007


             Allocation of child support by the baby
               mamma of somebody Kanye West knows
                        _
         -|    _       | |
          |   | |      | |
         -|   | |      | |                _         _
Money ($) |   | |      | |               | |       | |
         -|   | |      | |               | |       | |
          |   | |      | |               | |       | |
         -|   | |      | |               | |       | |
          |   | |      | |               | |       | |
        0-|___|_|______|_|_______________|_|_______|_|_____
              Car     Crib     TYCO     Lipo     Looking
                            for shorty         like Michael



    Distribution of Jay-Z's problems
              _
      99-|   | |
         |   | |
         |   | |
         |   | |
Problems |   | |
         |   | |
         |   | |
         |   | |
       0-|___|_|______________
           Not the     The
            bitch     bitch

posted by teem at 2:32 AM on November 10, 2007 [4 favorites]

Source for a couple of those diagrams.

And while we're at it, the Village Voice breaks down Mims' "This is Why I'm Hot".
posted by ardgedee at 3:21 AM on November 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

The A bitch.
posted by teem at 3:37 AM on November 10, 2007

Breakdancing, Graffiti, MCing, DJing, Infographics
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:55 AM on November 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

My tiny problem with that Village Voice article is this quote:

First of all, no one calls it "Frisco" except rhyme-starved rappers...

Uhh, sorry pretentious New Yorkers, but everyone I know from the Bay Area and Southern California refer to it as Frisco exclusively.
posted by nonmerci at 4:46 AM on November 10, 2007

This is excellent, still I'm disappointed not to see a graphical representation of how easy/difficult pimping is.
posted by psmealey at 5:41 AM on November 10, 2007

I liked the calendar one, but initially I hoped for a serious try for some kind of graphical representation of rhyme. Trying to express a rap song in sheet notes would miss quite a lot of information.
posted by Free word order! at 6:09 AM on November 10, 2007

nonmerci, that's interesting, when I lived there 10 years ago everyone called it either "SF" or "the city". Did I run with the same crowd as the author?
posted by veronitron at 6:27 AM on November 10, 2007

Same here, veronitron. The only folks I ever heard call SF "Frisco" were people in 70s cop shows and people whose understanding of reality was based on 70s cop shows.
posted by psmealey at 6:30 AM on November 10, 2007

OMG, I'm crying over here. These are my favorites.
posted by fuse theorem at 7:11 AM on November 10, 2007

You can get with:

This

That

posted by Eideteker at 8:14 AM on November 10, 2007

San Franciscans call it San Francisco or The City, never Frisco. That's for southern Californians and recent transplants.
posted by smartyboots at 9:05 AM on November 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

nProblems = 99, 'A bitch' is not a member of Problems.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 9:16 AM on November 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

Life not (not=) Bitches + Money.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 9:18 AM on November 10, 2007

I almost got fired, I laughed so hard.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.
posted by willie11 at 10:12 AM on November 10, 2007

It really gives the term 'flow-chart' a whole new meaning.
posted by willie11 at 10:20 AM on November 10, 2007

San Franciscans never call it Frisco, unless they're affiliated with the local chapter of the Hell's Angels. There is a long history to this. Emperor Norton declared that anyone uttering that abomination should be fined $25. Herb Caen (The City's other patron saint) named his second book "Don't call it Frisco", in 1953. Until recently, there was even a laundromat.

The local newspaper's style guide says that it's "The City", capitalized like that. In much the same way that Washingtonians refer to their fine city as "The District".
posted by toxic at 11:54 AM on November 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

Bitches that Eazy-E is talking to that want to fuck him = 100%
posted by psmealey at 12:15 PM on November 10, 2007

Atlanta Schedule
----------------
Monday: Gentleman's Club
Tuesday: Velvet Room
Wednesday: Stroker's On Lean
Thursday: Shark Bar
Friday: Cream
Saturday: 112
Sunday: Sleep
posted by PenDevil at 12:41 PM on November 10, 2007

that may be the damn funniest thing i've ever seen. Word.
posted by Dantien at 6:54 PM on November 10, 2007

that's amazing.
posted by chunking express at 8:12 PM on November 10, 2007

San Franciscans never call it Frisco, unless they're affiliated with the local chapter of the Hell's Angels.

Or fishermen. Or dock workers. They still call it Frisco, but indeed they are old.
posted by mrgrimm at 9:28 AM on November 11, 2007

My rule on "Frisco" is that you can only use it in close conjunction with calling San Bernardino "San Berdoo". In other words, almost never.
posted by crinklebat at 5:04 PM on November 11, 2007

I remember back in the late '90s, there was an e-mail forward that translated one of the Notorious B.I.G.'s songs from ebonics into English. It was pretty funny.
posted by reenum at 6:31 AM on November 12, 2007