Columbidae Love

November 12, 2007 5:57 PM

The Brooklyn Pigeon Serial Killer vs The Brooklyn Pigeon Advocate. Related to The Brooklyn Pigeon Blowdart Attacks of '98?
posted by R. Mutt (24 comments total)

Tom Lehrer
posted by hortense at 6:10 PM on November 12, 2007 [2 favorites]

How on Earth does one intentionally run over a pigeon with a car unless it's dead already?
posted by breezeway at 6:22 PM on November 12, 2007

Manchester, so much to answer for.
posted by Kinbote at 6:45 PM on November 12, 2007

$100 fine and a Pigeon Czar
posted by Balisong at 6:56 PM on November 12, 2007

Oh, god, I love birds. I was just talking with someone about how much I love birds a few minutes ago. I love their scaly, lizard-like feet and their puny little dinosaur-like brains and the way they crap everywhere and make all kinds of weird, annoying noises at 5:30 in the goddamn morning after you've been up all night.

My favorite birds? That's easy. Hawks and falcons, and anything that eats pigeons and maybe seagulls, too.

Blowdarts, you say? Tell me more...
posted by loquacious at 6:58 PM on November 12, 2007

love their scaly, lizard-like feet and their puny little dinosaur-like brains

Fixed.
posted by brundlefly at 7:08 PM on November 12, 2007

yes, but did the pigeons have myspace pages?
posted by tarheelcoxn at 7:18 PM on November 12, 2007

Whoops! Sorry, that was supposed to be $1000.
posted by Balisong at 7:35 PM on November 12, 2007

Is it really not illegal to feed pigeons in New York? People who feed pigeons are doing far more harm than good to the birds, and enables much larger populations of birds than what would be the normal carrying capacity of the area.

I'm a bird lover, but I draw the line right in front of pigeons and starlings. They're good for raptor food, and not much else, in my opinion. Not, however, that I think running them over or shooting them with darts is a good solution. Just stop feeding them, for a start!
posted by gingerbeer at 7:39 PM on November 12, 2007

I'm a bird lover, but I draw the line right in front of pigeons and starlings. They're good for raptor food, and not much else

How many millions more rats in our cities do you think there'd be if pigeons weren't flying in to get that food before the rats can?
posted by jamjam at 8:12 PM on November 12, 2007

I have never heard of pigeons knawing their way into all that food. They are not as good as rats at consuming our waste because THEY HAVE TO FLY
posted by longsleeves at 8:19 PM on November 12, 2007

Ah, but the rats and mice are also raptor food. It's all about keeping the hawks well fed!
posted by gingerbeer at 8:41 PM on November 12, 2007

Not everyone likes our little fine-feathered friends — The Royal Society for the Preservation of Pigeon Killing.
posted by cenoxo at 8:45 PM on November 12, 2007

Ah, but the rats and mice are also raptor food. It's all about keeping the hawks well fed!

Yeah, well maybe if there were less pigeons, the hawks and falcons would concentrate more on the rats. That's a win-win. Remove one source of food, and let them evolve their lizard-brains so they can better catch mankind's real enemies. Fucking plague-carrying motherfuckers.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:43 PM on November 12, 2007

I only kill as many pigeons as I can eat.
posted by salvia at 11:14 PM on November 12, 2007

We had a DEAL!
posted by Jon Mitchell at 1:16 AM on November 13, 2007

Johanna “the pigeon advocate” proclaims NY as a Commonwealth, but there are only 3 Commonwealths: VA,PA, and MA. Starting a few French fries short of a happy meal this Pro Feeding the Pigeon logic is the same as those in Yellowstone Park who insist on feeding the bears. As a "Wildlife Rehabilitator” I would expect Johanna “the pigeon advocate” to understand that a natural balance needs to be maintained to prevent the animals from getting out of control; feeding the pigeons causes a dependence on humans which denigrates the animal. Feeding results in a population explosion and as an intro eco text would show, die back is the result with the population crashing to an even lower level levels than if the birds had not had human intervention. If I substitute rats for pigeons your whole deportment changes possibly suggesting you of being specieistic. I must confess that I see pigeons as flying rats. Pigeons are vermin, they are dirty, spread disease, destroy property. Allowing the artificial increase of birds (by feedings) we allow for the survival of weaker impaired birds who would not normally survive and thereby placing a burden on the whole stock; degrading the quality of life for all the birds. There is a loss of quality of life for other animals, including humans by a perpetuation of unsanitary conditions brought on by a population boom & bust cycles. By not feeding them a balance would ensue; some would survive, the healthiest; and a stasis would be achieved. Inevitably fewer birds would mean fewer “poisoning”. It is to be noted that these “poisonings” are the result of a natural phenomena, die backs in a population stressed by natural environmental factors such as cold, reduced food and so on. The pigeons you are collecting are most likely from a population which has expanded and now is experiencing a die back, with a large number of birds dying from starvation or diseases. Kindness is often a good feeling for us but a really foul death to the birds; starvation is very painful Your idea of “common space”
follows the logic “What’s is mine, is mine and what’s yours is mine again. “Kill no more pigeons than you can eat.”
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
posted by Rancid Badger at 2:27 AM on November 13, 2007

Pigeons are gentle birds who make excellent pets and who have saved many human lives during wartime. People who think it's clever to hurt or kill them better hope I (or Mike Tyson) never catch them doing it.
posted by Jess the Mess at 5:28 AM on November 13, 2007

I don't think the guys running them down have anything on the guys who use nets to capture truckloads of pigeons for pigeon shoots in Pennsylvania.

The reports are usually the same: around dawn, near a city park or plaza, two men jump out of a van, the license plate often concealed with tape. They toss a handful of seeds, and when pigeons descend, they swipe the birds up in a net.
posted by 445supermag at 6:01 AM on November 13, 2007

If you don't like pigeons, you and your comrades could always just run around making lots of noise until the pigeons fall to the ground exhausted. Then you could beat them to death with sticks. I hear that's quite effective. Darn birds.

So. How many pigeons are there in NYC? What percentage of them depend on handouts for survival? Numerically, how big a deal is it that a few people feed the pigeons? How many rats are there in NYC? How would that number change if there were no pigeons to help keep the streets clean?

By the way: Project PigeonWatch
posted by pracowity at 9:36 AM on November 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

How would that number change if there were no pigeons to help keep the streets clean?

Evidently you missed my comment above.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:43 PM on November 13, 2007

Rats and mice are nocturnal, Civil_Disobedient, hawks and falcons are not, nor are urban owls abundant enough to matter.
posted by jamjam at 10:13 PM on November 13, 2007

How many pigeons are there in NYC?


How deep is the ocean?
How high is the sky?
posted by R. Mutt at 4:43 AM on November 14, 2007

Rats and mice are nocturnal, Civil_Disobedient, hawks and falcons are not

Well, crap.

nor are urban owls abundant enough to matter

Double-dammit!
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 3:47 PM on November 14, 2007