But... is he REALLY the worst person in the world?

November 20, 2007 12:40 PM

CBS News talks to John Fitzgerald Page. (sorry for the brief commercial first) His original callout on Gawker, with the body of the offending email read around the world. But he is more than just an angry member on Match.com: his impressive resume can be found on his site and he is a TV and film actor.

Nobody likes to be rejected, much less vilified, but... worst person in the world, really?

posted by Unicorn on the cob (112 comments total)

He's definitely up there.

Consider his experience a warning against Internet douchebaggery.
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 12:44 PM on November 20, 2007

I think he's less of a douchebag, and more of a dingleberry. I many be wrong, though; more study is needed.

Personally, if I didn't have a soul, I wouldn't want to *advertise* this fact.
posted by notsnot at 12:48 PM on November 20, 2007 [2 favorites]

Please let's not extend this guy's 15 minutes any further.
posted by BobFrapples at 12:48 PM on November 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

Well, as schmucks go, he's a pretty unregretful schmuck, which is pretty schmucky.

I'm trying to replace douchebag in my vocabulary with schmuck, if you hadn't noticed.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:50 PM on November 20, 2007

I don't think schmuck and douchebag convey exactly the same meaning. Aren't schmucks more loveable?
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 12:53 PM on November 20, 2007

He's just a common or garden fucknuckle.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 12:54 PM on November 20, 2007 [6 favorites]

Guy who acts like ass on internet comes across as ass on TV. Film at 11.
posted by shadow vector at 12:54 PM on November 20, 2007

I bet that girl who rejected him feels like a total DUMBASS now. Hello! He works out, has a good job, and now, he's a TV STAR!
posted by billysumday at 12:57 PM on November 20, 2007

Christ, why is CBS reporting about what Gawker thinks?
posted by boo_radley at 12:59 PM on November 20, 2007 [2 favorites]

Why isn't he already a member here? (Or maybe he IS... not going to name any specific MeFi nicks here, but a couple spring to mind).
posted by wendell at 1:01 PM on November 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

DO NOT RESIZE MY BROWSER WINDOW!
posted by dead_ at 1:02 PM on November 20, 2007

Christ, why is CBS reporting about what Gawker thinks?
posted by boo_radley at 3:59 PM on November 20

Why is anyone watching CBS News enough to know what they are reporting on?
posted by Pastabagel at 1:03 PM on November 20, 2007

And Gawker gets points off for stealing from Keith Olbermann.
posted by wendell at 1:05 PM on November 20, 2007

Aren't schmucks more loveable?

Oh, heaven's no. It's the Yiddish equivalent of "dick," but my father uses it the way some people use "motherfucker." People who cut him off in traffic are schmucks.

Also, if people try to put one over on him, he is apt to remind them that he is not a schmuck.

If someone is making too much noise in public, he's liable to call them out by shouting "Hey! Schmuck!"

But, then, if he sees someone skateboard and they wipe out, he's liable to laugh at them and say "Whatta schmuck!"

Schmuck has many uses, now that I think about it.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:05 PM on November 20, 2007

Also:

.
posted by dead_ at 1:06 PM on November 20, 2007

Don't forget the condo in the 31-storey Buckhead high rise condo. Any garden-variety douchebag could live in a 28-storey building, but you have to be a world-class douchebag to get into a 31-storey tower. And brag about it.

It's his Rain Man fixation on numbers - 8.9 on Hot or Not, 14 major motion pictures - that kind of seals it for me. Any old fucknut could be all like, "I'm the hawtest thing on the planet, Bee-yatch!" But it takes a special mix of frat-boy braggadoccio, mamma's-boy I'm-so-specialness and poindexter I-know-my-own-personal-pi-to-a-zillion-digits-ness to content for World's Biggest Douchebag. Dude definitely qualifies for the finals.
posted by gompa at 1:06 PM on November 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

He should do a bad cop / good cop routine with that guy who did nycgirlofmydreams.com.
posted by tapeguy at 1:06 PM on November 20, 2007

Ok, now I feel bad for making fun of this guy. I've known people like this and despite the fact that he can function with some level of competence, it's also clear that he is mentally ill. He's taken pictures of his calves and put them on his website. Who does that?
posted by billysumday at 1:07 PM on November 20, 2007

Kinda shocking that an actor would have such a terrible promo shot. Judging from the lighting and depth of field in the shot, I'm guessing it was a point and shoot with on-camera flash. Tsk tsk. A high school photography student could've done better.
posted by mullingitover at 1:07 PM on November 20, 2007

There are boastful, self-involved dicks in this world? Who knew?
posted by schmedeman at 1:07 PM on November 20, 2007

Phew, thank god. I thought the post said CBC and I was about to die of shame.

Also, ha ha ha. What a loser. Anybody think he'll kill himself now?
posted by stinkycheese at 1:08 PM on November 20, 2007

The real story here is that CBS is reporting on this. Seriously. I need something to vomit in.
posted by dead_ at 1:09 PM on November 20, 2007 [2 favorites]

Dane Cook has a much larger audience than Messr. Page, so there is no chance for him to be the worst person in the world, but he's still a complete cocksocket.
posted by Shecky at 1:11 PM on November 20, 2007 [4 favorites]

Tapeguy: Maybe I'm the only one who noticed that nycgirlofmydreams.com guy was in the tabloids this week, but he found the girl and they are now dating... there was a photo. I think he'd do well to stay away from Mr. Three Names here.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 1:11 PM on November 20, 2007

All of this notwithstanding, he was transcendent playing against type as "Lovestruck Doofus" in 2005's Beauty Shop. Totally stole the scene from Emayatzy E. Corinealdi as "Client of Ida."
posted by gompa at 1:11 PM on November 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

At least he wasn't living with her, presumed tested HIV negative, and she finds out it's a lie with a search of his medicine cabinet and an anonymous ask metafilter.

There's far worse in the real world, and really isn't that pretty damn average for a person on an internet dating site? In my (limited) experience freeway etiquette is the standard in such "communities".
posted by bukvich at 1:13 PM on November 20, 2007

Rainman fixation on numbers

Dustin Hoffman? I don't know about that. But according to his resume, he does look three percentage points more like Val Kilmer than he does like Lance Armstrong.

LOOKALIKES:

Will Ferrell
Steven Seagal, Bruce Campbell, Ben Affleck
Matthew Perry (74%), Mathew Fox (70%), Kyle McLaughlin (70%), Jason Priestly (70%)
Patrick Swayze (68%), Simon LeBon (67%), Nick Lachey (66%), Ryan Phillippe (64%)
Jesse Metcalfe (64%), Tom Cruise (64%), Matt Damon (63%), Billy Zane (62%)
Hugh Grant (60%), Heath Ledger (58%), Luke Perry (57%), Val Kilmer (56%)
Lance Armstrong (53%), Paul Walker (52%), Fabio (48%)
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 1:13 PM on November 20, 2007

Shit, I'm getting his autograph (only $20!) before he becomes really famous.
posted by mullingitover at 1:16 PM on November 20, 2007

He's some actor. He lists this on his IMDB entry.

Beauty Shop (2005) (uncredited) .... Lovestruck Doofus
posted by sfts2 at 1:19 PM on November 20, 2007

He's taken pictures of his calves and put them on his website. Who does that?

4-H members.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 1:21 PM on November 20, 2007 [31 favorites]

"To think that this could happen to an Ivy-league grad and someone with an IQ like mine shows this could happen to anyone."

If anyone needed convincing that IQ or an expensive education tells one little about a person's intelligence then this is a pretty significant datapoint.
posted by Kattullus at 1:21 PM on November 20, 2007 [3 favorites]

Also, way back there, I meant "contend," not "content." Though I suspect Mr. Page is quite content with his douchebagosity.

On preview: That merch page almost makes me think this is a performance art piece or something. Which, if that's the case, the perfectly sustained half-unhinged tone on the Media page alone should probably be nominated for a Pulitzer.
posted by gompa at 1:23 PM on November 20, 2007

Typical Buckhead High Metabolism World Dominator, big whoop. The dialog they gave the newsbot would make Kent Brockman blush too.
posted by Scoo at 1:26 PM on November 20, 2007

makes me think this is a performance art piece or something

He can't be serious can he!?!

(but yeah, my thoughts exactly)
posted by dead_ at 1:26 PM on November 20, 2007

Wow, the material never ends. I'm not sure he should be touting the fact that he looks 75% like Kyle MacLachlan
posted by sfts2 at 1:27 PM on November 20, 2007

His Projects page... there are no words.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 1:34 PM on November 20, 2007

Also - people, please take note - he wears a 41R jacket. He records this detail between two stills from the little-seen cartoon adaptation of Oliver Stone's Wall Street, in which he played the role of Fat Cat McHighroller.

I would move along, but it just keeps getting awesomer.
posted by gompa at 1:35 PM on November 20, 2007

I just realized he is a "mascot handler" for Panda Express. The visual I'm getting from that cannot be right...

but I want to see in real life what I'm envisioning right now so badly.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 1:38 PM on November 20, 2007

There's a shitload of women who will date this guy in a instant. Shallow and vain is not gender-specific.
I'm sure he isn't worried one bit.
posted by docpops at 1:39 PM on November 20, 2007

I would love to tear him down verbally. I'd start with the visibly receding hairline.

Which is not to say a visibly receding hairline is a bad thing, but that fucknozzles like this would be hurt by such a thing. Think the taunting scene in Anchorman. Yeah.
posted by grubi at 1:40 PM on November 20, 2007

This reminds me how happy I am that I am no longer dating through Match.
posted by Red58 at 1:41 PM on November 20, 2007

I just realized he is a "mascot handler" for Panda Express. The visual I'm getting from that cannot be right...

Oh yeah? Well, I just read that he's a "mascot handler" for Kellogg's Pop Tarts. The visual I'm getting from that has forced me to lie down in a cold dark room until the walls stop melting.
posted by gompa at 1:43 PM on November 20, 2007 [2 favorites]

WTF? He is just a run-of-them-mill asshole (or asswhole...). I don't see how this is newsworthy. Or meta-worthy. Though the news covering something so utterly un-newsworthy might be meta-worthy; meta-meta worthy if you will.
posted by Bovine Love at 1:55 PM on November 20, 2007

Eh, another date rapey Wharton dipshit. I wade through throngs of them on my way to work every morning, they're nothing more than fire hydrants in suits that move and yap into cell phones as far as I'm concerned.
posted by The Straightener at 1:56 PM on November 20, 2007

cocksocket.

Oh, that trumps schmuck and douchebag, without question.

Clicking "add new word" in my vocabulary builder
posted by davejay at 2:00 PM on November 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

Dude. He wears suspenders. Isn't that all anybody needs to know about this guy? That's like the douche uniform, right there.

Suspenders AND excessive hair product. He's so douche, the entirety of greater Atlanta is like one giant fresh smelling vagina.
posted by brain cloud at 2:00 PM on November 20, 2007

Christ, what an asshole.
posted by zardoz at 2:00 PM on November 20, 2007

I wish I could favorite the 'fucknuckle' comment twice. Thank you, Mr. Mabuse! That jumps right into my personal pantheon of abusive epithets, right up there with 'jackaninny.'
posted by facetious at 2:01 PM on November 20, 2007

I just read that he's in the Setup Crew for Cartoon Network, Coke, JVC, and Jerry Springer. He's also in the Breakdown Crew for Cartoon Network, Coke, and Jerry Springer.

Heh. Not good enough for the JVC Breakdown Crew. Douchebag.
posted by jefbla at 2:01 PM on November 20, 2007 [3 favorites]

But is he on facebook?
posted by drezdn at 2:12 PM on November 20, 2007

so you don't blow it with the next 8.9 on Hot or Not so you don't blow it with the next 8.9 on Hot or Not, Ivy League grad, Mensa member, can bench/squat/leg press over 1200 lbs., has had lunch with the secretary of defense, has an MBA from the top school in the country, lives in a Buckhead high rise, drives a Beemer convertible, has been in 14 major motion pictures, was in Jezebel's Best dressed, etc.

It'd be easier to just say "I have a tiny penis" and/or "I am a Republican."

Gawker comment: "If you look closely at this IMDB profile, you may notice that he was the CASTING ASSOCIATE for 95% of the movies he was cast in." Kickin' it Cheney style.

It's the Yiddish equivalent of 'dick,' but my father uses it the way some people use 'motherfucker.'

Schmutherfucker?
posted by kirkaracha at 2:14 PM on November 20, 2007

If posing in front of a 10-year-old BMW 3-series in a tuxedo while awkwardly holding a martini doesn't make you a wannabe, nothing does.
posted by Spacelegoman at 2:16 PM on November 20, 2007

I must insist that this guy is *not* a dick because of his self-promotion.

He's a dick because he came back after he had been politely rejected and tried to basically shit on the girl who had said no. That's predatory, creepy shit right there, and I don't play that.

But I could give a damn if some other peacock doesn't know he's got ugly feathers. We're all just out there struttin' our stuff.
posted by facetious at 2:17 PM on November 20, 2007

As a personal practitioner of self-promotion (have ya seen my latest article in the bigtime news website?), I realize the need for a sense of humor (self-effacing preferably; I mean, how lame is "Thanksgiving TV Marathons" for a topic of discussion? And I can't blame my editors for assigning it to me - it was my stupid idea!). And I do feel that those self-promoters without a sense of humor should be force-fed one in the form of comical ridicule. But The Second Rule (after The First Rule, which is 'Don't take yourself too seriously') should be "If you're gonna be Funny, be FUNNY."

a "mascot handler" for Kellogg's Pop Tarts.
The visual I got from that made me throw my toaster out the window (hey look! it's flying! like in the screensaver!)

the Breakdown Crew for Cartoon Network, Coke, and Jerry Springer.
And yet, Jerry is still standing. FAILURE!

cocksocket
Is that the male end or the female end? Like it hardly makes any difference since genitalia-based insults jumped the shark with the Big Speech in Team America: World Police.

And gee, we haven't heard from any "man-haters" claiming "all" men are like him. Congrats, I think they've finally been scared out of MetaFilter.
posted by wendell at 2:18 PM on November 20, 2007

I read through this thread confident that this guy's douchebaggery was unassailable...but god help me, after reading this I actually feel the inklings of something I believe is called "sympathy".
posted by anazgnos at 2:19 PM on November 20, 2007

What an asshole!
posted by ericb at 2:19 PM on November 20, 2007

"...my criteria and standards....next time she meets someone of my caliber she should..."

Fuck you!
posted by ericb at 2:21 PM on November 20, 2007

"This is a website for my SIDE career, acting/modeling. I know I am not Brad Pitt. But Mr. Whipple gets work too!"

Dude. Not anymore. He died the other day. I know it's tough to keep up -- what with going on national T.V. telling your story and then bitching and moaning about a lack of privacy on your blog.
posted by ericb at 2:28 PM on November 20, 2007

"All of the facts on this website are true. I am not Alexsey Vayner, there are no videos on here of me hitting tennis balls at 140 mph or breaking bricks with my bare hands!"

True, but you rank right up there with him, as measured by the Asshole Quotient.
posted by ericb at 2:30 PM on November 20, 2007

He's taken pictures of his calves and put them on his website. Who does that?

I was expecting him to post pictures of his dick ... and tell us all that it grows to 11" when erect!
posted by ericb at 2:37 PM on November 20, 2007

Aren't all members of Mensa pretty much like that guy?
posted by brain_drain at 2:46 PM on November 20, 2007

This guy is hilarious!

Under "Skills", he informs us that he can do the following accents: English, Southern, New Yorker, Aristocrat, British, Irish, Australian, French, Indian.

But he can't be the worst date-related person in the world. What about that guy who billed the girl for the date after she turned him down?
posted by thehmsbeagle at 2:47 PM on November 20, 2007

"I have been in the 'fame game'for years, meeting celebrities like Luke Perry, Cynthia Nixon, Dave Matthews, Jeff Foxworthy, Joe Montana, Bill Cosby, Biz Markie, Toby Keith, Joe Frazier, Mark Cuban, Dominique Wilkins, Bob Barr, Wade Boggs, Jeff Burton, Tony LaRussa, Steve Harvey, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Jim Caviezel, Tiffany, Warrick Dunn, Nikki Hilton, Curly Neal, Jerry O'Connell, Rik Smits, Kathy Bates, Thomas Jane, Kelly Preston, Vivica A. Fox, Steven Seagal, Larry the Cable Guy, Ken Branagh, Lil Jon, Les Wexner, Dwight Gooden, Nancy Lopez, Ray Knight & LeAnn Rimes to name a few."

Wow. Really? You so rad, dude. I wish I could be more like you!
posted by ericb at 2:48 PM on November 20, 2007

he's wearing a pink business shirt, that's unforgivable.
posted by bhnyc at 2:48 PM on November 20, 2007

I am an avid traveler and have been to St. Thomas & St. John, Aruba and Zurich."

Geez. Again ... impressive travel credentials! Do you speak Arubean and Zurichean, too?
posted by ericb at 2:49 PM on November 20, 2007

He's a dick because he came back after he had been politely rejected and tried to basically shit on the girl who had said no. That's predatory, creepy shit right there, and I don't play that.

It's "predatory, creepy shit" if you're such a fragile creature that you can't deal with angry emails from the occasional guy. There's no reasonable standard by which his behavior is predatory or creepy. It's distasteful but perfectly understandable. Most everybody has tossed off an email in a moment of anger. Real people do get angry and they do lash out sometimes. Deal with it.

What is pretty disgusting is that Gawker thread. But then, I'm no longer surprised by this sort of thing. This is apparently what happened to all the insecure losers who used to smoke in the library: they grew up to congregate on blogs and snark on the internet. At this point you have to wonder if there's something about the technology that essentially encourages this sort of mindless, group think asshole behavior or if there's just a lot of really dumb jerks in the world who have nothing better to do than get together and insult their betters while they try desperately to outwit one another.

But then again hopefully Google's stock will break $700 some time soon.
posted by nixerman at 2:51 PM on November 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

"She took this personal email, sent to her only, and sent it out to everyone in America."

I never got it. Yahoo!Mail really does suck!
posted by ericb at 2:51 PM on November 20, 2007 [2 favorites]

"I like to be on the movie set meeting the stars, learning how movies are made, and especially eating all the craft service!"

That's more than obvious from the photo of you in which you portray a "Waterpark Frolicker" in the Holday Inn print ad.
posted by ericb at 2:54 PM on November 20, 2007

"I went to a mediocre public high school in Ohio where I weighed 140 lbs."

Yeah he really is obsessed with numbers. I honestly don't get the relevance of posting what you weighed in high-school.
posted by ericb at 2:58 PM on November 20, 2007

What a dickslurp!
posted by Totally Zanzibarin' Ya at 3:01 PM on November 20, 2007

One thing that actually is a little sad about this is that Mr. Page's response is actually more measured and civil than countless other dating-site e-mails containing obscenities, threats, pictures of body parts, personal attacks, etc. I doubt his e-mails rank in even the top 5% of internet dating terribleness. In a way it's actually refreshing that he put his jerkiness out up front rather than play nice and conceal it until the first date.
posted by brain_drain at 3:06 PM on November 20, 2007

Credit where credit is due, his t-shirts are marginally funny. At least he's going to profit off of his 15 minutes.
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 3:12 PM on November 20, 2007

It's "predatory, creepy shit" if you're such a fragile creature that you can't deal with angry emails from the occasional guy.

Good heavens, nixerman -- have you done any online dating in the past 10 years? After you convince yourself you're not going to end up in someone's trunk, chunk-style, and you start to find some interesting matches on the various sites, it comes time to start talking to them. Clue: someone who deals with other people like this is not someone you want to be dating.

While I never dealt with anyone this amazingly deficient, I had friends using the online personals at the same time as me who did. It is creepy. It is weird to turn around and fire back a sassy-assed reply like that AFTER someone has turned you down.

Quoth my boyfriend: "It's like Patrick Bateman without the cool serial-killer side-gig."
posted by bitter-girl.com at 3:15 PM on November 20, 2007

Why is anyone watching CBS News enough to know what they are reporting on?

Pastabagel: I know this will be hard, but can you refrain from turning every thread into an awful political flame war?

I'm guessing not, but hey... just asking.
posted by Tacos Are Pretty Great at 3:20 PM on November 20, 2007

It's "predatory, creepy shit" if you're such a fragile creature that you can't deal with angry emails from the occasional guy. There's no reasonable standard by which his behavior is predatory or creepy. It's distasteful but perfectly understandable. Most everybody has tossed off an email in a moment of anger. Real people do get angry and they do lash out sometimes. Deal with it.

Yeah, I disagree with this too. A jackass who can't handle any kind of rejection will continue to send jackass-y emails until someone gives him a reason to stop. Whereas, hopefully next time, some stuffed-(suspendered)-shirt tool who thinks it appropriate to be hateful just because a girl politely relates that she doesn't find him a dating match, will remember John Fitzgerald Page and think twice.

I don't have a problem with thinking that people took it too far after the Gawker post -- calling him on the phone, CBS news... that's all crossing into the "Too Much Free Time"/stalker territory. But, fair play to the girl who decided to publicize what is clearly a shining example of jackass behavior; hopefully there are hundreds of people attempting online dating who will benefit from a more polite interaction standard.
posted by pineapple at 3:39 PM on November 20, 2007

Larry the Cable Guy, Ken Branagh, Lil Jon

Were they all three in the same place at the same time? Because that notion is conjuring up all kinds of Buñuel-esque cocktail party imagery.
posted by grabbingsand at 3:44 PM on November 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

Nixerman, I think maybe also people might find that behavior creepy because most girls have, in real life, had the experience where you're at a bar and some guy hits on you and then, after you've politely said no thanks/I'm here with someone/I'm a lesbian/whatever, responds in this completely nutso and kind of scary way.

(I don't know if this also happens to men. I'm sure it does.)
posted by thehmsbeagle at 3:45 PM on November 20, 2007

I often received much, much worse (and usually NSFW) e-mails when I was dating online. I never thought to vilify the sender. I don't understand this point-and-laugh culture we've created. Don't people understand that they could easily be next?
posted by desjardins at 3:50 PM on November 20, 2007

He's no Aleksey Vayner.
posted by gorgor_balabala at 4:01 PM on November 20, 2007

I think maybe also people might find that behavior creepy because most girls have, in real life...

Perhaps women are more sensitive to this sort of behavior but in this particular case what I just don't see it. This was a total non-event. The guy sent a single, short email expressing his anger. It wasn't crude or crass, it wasn't threatening or extreme in any way. He didn't send 1147 emails or call her or even interact with her further in any way. Frankly, I think the idea that this is nutso or constitutes any kind of predatory behavior or harassment to be pretty absurd. We're talking about a single pissed off email sent via a dating site.

Again, if there's anything creepy or predatory here it's the response of the recipient and all the people who feel the need to mock this guy. There's a certain kind of asshole who feels so small and put upon by the world that they crawl and leap at any and every opportunity to tear down others for any imagined infraction and it's these assholes who are really on display here. And while it's always been somewhat amusing the way Americans love to imagine the absolute worst about each other and protest loudly about outrage after outrage it's disgusting to see this kind of national pile on happen in a situation that really ought to be private.
posted by nixerman at 4:03 PM on November 20, 2007

I feel compelled to point out Jezebel's regular "Crap E-Mail From a Dude" column.
posted by jrossi4r at 4:12 PM on November 20, 2007

I read the letter. Now I can't bring myself to watch him embarass himself in the interview. I take enormous comfort in knowing that, whatever my other flaws may be, I am not this guy.
posted by Clay201 at 4:15 PM on November 20, 2007

Why is anyone watching CBS News enough to know what they are reporting on?

To be fair this is a 'morning story' on CBS's 'The Early Show.' Other recent segments: Alicia Keys' Life Journey, John Travolta's Girl Power, Fabulous (Easy) Thanksgiving, What Toys Are Safe?
posted by ericb at 4:17 PM on November 20, 2007

"So I winked at this guy on Match."

She gets no sympathy.
posted by iamck at 4:19 PM on November 20, 2007

...it's disgusting to see this kind of national pile on happen in a situation that really ought to be private.

Well, Mr. Page isn't helping himself here by telling the world the details of his life on a blog and making television appearances, drawing more attention to himself.

If he truly wanted to maintain privacy he should take down the blog, refuse interview requests and save the monthly bandwitch costs ("I had to buy additional bandwidth - over 1.35 million page views last month. This is not a joke.").
posted by ericb at 4:21 PM on November 20, 2007

*bandwidth*
posted by ericb at 4:21 PM on November 20, 2007

a) this guy is a world-class douche but not a harasser.

b) you know how for centuries, when people go on a date or someone expresses interest, and they aren't interested back, they deal with it by just not communicating anymore with that person?

this is why. In traditional dating or on the internet, there is no good way to say "thanks but no thanks." No matter how polite you think you are being, no matter how much you think it's the "right" thing to do, it NEVER EVER EVER EVER ends well.

Just don't call. Just don't respond. It's best for everyone.
posted by drjimmy11 at 4:43 PM on November 20, 2007

(not that I'm blaming her for his douchery. I'm just saying, no response always works better than "no thanks")
posted by drjimmy11 at 4:45 PM on November 20, 2007

I agree with anazgnos, reading Page's media section made me feel sympathy for him. Especially this paragraph:

"I am not perfect, nor do I pretend to be. I have no emotional I.Q. I am now an orphan. I have no siblings or grandparents and have been on my own since the age of 17. I went to a mediocre public high school in Ohio where I weighed 140 lbs. I have no one to fall back on, so I have to be aggressive and go for my dreams - I can't rely on anyone else. We all have that instinctual survival mechanism. I can't love anyone else if I don't love myself first."

He's a guy who's followed everything pop-culture tells him leads to a happy life, the high-powered job, the BMW, the expensive suits, being in the movies, exercising but happiness still eludes him.

Poor guy, his whole persona is built on insecurity.
posted by Kattullus at 4:52 PM on November 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

Ewww. Ewww. Ewww. I seriously feel the need to shower after seeing El Douche's interview. Ewww...
posted by DarlingBri at 4:57 PM on November 20, 2007

I agree with anazgnos, reading Page's media section made me feel sympathy for him. Especially this paragraph:

"I am not perfect, nor do I pretend to be. ...[snip] ...I can't love anyone else if I don't love myself first."

He's a guy who's followed everything pop-culture tells him leads to a happy life, the high-powered job, the BMW, the expensive suits, being in the movies, exercising but happiness still eludes him.

Poor guy, his whole persona is built on insecurity.

Sure... if you believe all this stuff is true. This is a guy who has done nothing but capitalize on this terrible publicity, who has converted it into a full-on press campaign, who by all accounts seems to care about nothing so much as image... I don't think it's a stretch to consider the possibility that he's trotting out a pile of sob-story to make himself look less douchey.

Bookmark this: www.PageforCongress.com. He'll be sending inappropriate emails to aides before too long.
posted by pineapple at 5:08 PM on November 20, 2007

Bookmark this: www.PageforCongress.com...

www.CongressforPages.com is already registered to Mark Foley (aka Maf52).
posted by ericb at 5:35 PM on November 20, 2007

ok ok ok so he's REAL insecure... we get that... I say we make a deal, he promises to buy himself therapy, and to keep posting calf shots, and i'll promise to stop looking.... I swear...
posted by stratastar at 6:56 PM on November 20, 2007

Jesus. I don't love this guy but really, the punishment hardly fits the "crime". His page about "the worst man in the world" was pretty accurate.

Nixerman, I think maybe also people might find that behavior creepy because most girls have, in real life, had the experience where you're at a bar and some guy hits on you and then, after you've politely said no thanks/I'm here with someone/I'm a lesbian/whatever, responds in this completely nutso and kind of scary way.

(I don't know if this also happens to men. I'm sure it does.)

I'd believe this almost never happens to guys. I think most guys rarely get hit upon -- I think most of the time they do, they get hit on because they've been staring at the girl already -- and I think most women who do hit on guys are aware of the fact that they can easily find someone to sleep with by asking one or two other people.
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 8:10 PM on November 20, 2007

I think most guys rarely get hit upon...

Except in gay bars.
posted by ericb at 8:12 PM on November 20, 2007

Guys like this are the reason online dating is so wonderful. He makes average guys like me seem golden. Thanks, John!
posted by dobbs at 8:26 PM on November 20, 2007

Jesus. I don't love this guy but really, the punishment hardly fits the "crime". His page about "the worst man in the world" was pretty accurate.

He could have nixed the entire "punishment" by doing any of the following:

a) Not trying to start shit with somebody who had said they weren't interested in him.

b) Recognized that this was a dumb thing to have done, and changed his website to an apology.

Instead he rants on about how he shouldn't be judged by what he does to people in private, when he doesn't think anybody is watching.

He's an asshole and he doesn't get it.

Also, the defense of against the literal "worst person in the world" is just retarded. If somebody says "x is the worst y (in the world / ever / south of the mason-dixon line)" I don't think they mean it literally. It's just a colloquialism that means "really lousy".

Douchebags like this are why people assume that all Ivy League Grads are pricks. Fuck him.
posted by Tacos Are Pretty Great at 8:32 PM on November 20, 2007

`Eating (tongue out, mouth agape) with 3 beautiful dates, in "Madea's Family Reunion"...`
posted by boo_radley at 8:37 PM on November 20, 2007

The Koreans had their Dog Poop Girl.

We have our Internet Dating Bad Manners Boy.
posted by jason's_planet at 9:00 PM on November 20, 2007

Sorry, here's the link to Dog Poop Girl.


I posted in haste.
posted by jason's_planet at 9:01 PM on November 20, 2007

You can just read the anger between the lines in the emails between him and "Not Interested" (in the Gawker article).

This guy is actually doing the rest of the world a favour by letting us know what a douchebag he is. The hilarious part is that he doesn't even know that he's doing it.
posted by Quiplash at 10:26 PM on November 20, 2007

The douchebagginess comes from all the stuff uncovered when his email got attention. The reaction, well... I've rejected a few reasonably well-adjusted women over the years who flipped out as a result. I didn't think they were douchebags. I didn't think they handled it well, but I didn't think they were douchebags.

I'd believe this almost never happens to guys. I think most guys rarely get hit upon -- I think most of the time they do, they get hit on because they've been staring at the girl already

Crossed signals. The one that springs to mind immediately was a date I wasn't aware I was on. She said she wanted to meet for dinner to talk about work and I took that at face value. Another, I had shown interest in because of her hobby. Apparently guys don't do that unless they want in your pants. It's not so unusual, really. Not as many mind readers out there as you would think. Perhaps this is why these reactions were... less than graceful, shall we say. Guys get an early and oft-repeated education in rejection.
posted by dreamsign at 12:08 AM on November 21, 2007

I agree with nixerman and desjardins. This guy did something rude and hordes of people are jumping at the opportunity to project all sorts of assumed negative qualities upon him. There doesn't seem to be anything more to the Gawker thread than his detractors assuming a smug superior pose by tearing down a common target. Forwarding the email was malicious. 'Fair play' is hardly the phrase I would use to describe it.

I would also hope that people might be a little more forgiving, but it's starting to get through how naive I am in such hopes. It's not compassion for this guy in particular. He's in a very comfortable place and doesn't look to be so sensitive that this will bother him a few months down the road, not to mention, he's obnoxious. If we want people to respect our own privacy and we don't want to encourage people to humiliate others at every opportunity then that means giving some people a pass when we could make them look bad. But, whatever. I also know there are countless occasions where people do overlook missteps and these by their nature, go unnoticed. It's easy for me to act like a school marm at the exception.
posted by BigSky at 6:16 AM on November 21, 2007

BigSky: Forwarding the email was malicious.

Well, sort of. If you are going to consider his feelings, you need to consider hers as well. Put yourself in her place; if it was be, I'd be pretty angry and horrified. I would almost certainly forward it to a friend or two, probably before I really thought it over. In addition, saying something "in private" is not a license to be an asshole, though admittedly I don't think he was threatening, so publishing it is out of line, but like I said: Consider her feelings as well.

I can understand taking rejection badly. Sticking to it afterwords is being an asshat. Both people here owe some apologies, but I don't see any coming.

Sheesh, how do I get sucked into these things?
posted by Bovine Love at 6:34 AM on November 21, 2007

I fear his ability to be all the things that I could not. He truly is a great man.
posted by triv at 6:47 AM on November 21, 2007

"Forwarding the email was malicious. 'Fair play' is hardly the phrase I would use to describe it."

"Fair play to you" is an Irish slang phrase that means "good job" or "you're all right." It wasn't meant as a commentary on the equality or justice of what the girl did. Sorry for the confusion.

Still, I just don't believe that her forwarding the email was that big a deal. People went crazy with it after it appeared on Gawker, sure -- but that's because smug wannabes who present themselves as having superior inherent value to the world strictly because they are rich, successful and well-built tend to rub people the wrong way.

And further, if one wants to say that users of Match.com have an expectation of privacy when communicating about connections -- does that same expectation extend to a guy who has intentionally made himself and his full name and identifying details totally public to the world? You could almost argue that, as an actor and model, he functions as a public figure (albeit an F-list one), and therefore doesn't have the same expectation of privacy as any other Match.com user. Look at if it were a similarly public political figure, say a city council member -- if he had been a rude douche to a girl, and she had made that email and interaction known, would we say, "Oh, that bitch, she had no right to maliciously share that private correspondence?" Or would we say, "Yikes, sucks for City Council Member... but as a public figure he really should have behaved better." ?

But, even if you disagree with me about forwarding the email to Gawker, it's kind of willfully ignoring the obvious to not acknowledge that the only reason we're still talking about all this... the only reason it became an FPP... the only reason it has a life past the Gawker post over a month ago...

...is because Page wants it that way. If Page he had regretted his action, were sincerely contrite, and wanted this all to go away, he wouldn't be milking it at every turn and playing the public pity card. He is the one keeping this alive. He continues to invite people to examine his behavior and actions, continues to keep his name all over the Internet and now TV -- possibly under the belief that all press is good press and he'll get some modeling gigs or a book deal (why not, Schaeffer did) out of this.

John Fitzgerald Page is getting exactly what he wants. It's disingenuous to pretend he's the blameless victim, and to tsk-tsk at the people who are still engaging with him.
posted by pineapple at 7:03 AM on November 21, 2007

I'm being disingenuous? There is no insincerity in my post. I'm not playing stupid and I don't think he's a blameless victim: "did something rude" and "he's obnoxious". But perhaps you meant he's the one being disingenuous (even though I'm the one who is apparently "willfully ignoring the obvious"). Anyway the only point here is I find the attacks and the whole mentality that gets titillated by tearing into the current symbol of whatever sets them off, to be really lame. His being sincerely contrite or not has nothing to do with it. nixerman and desjardins probably did a better job of explaining the reasons why I find it disagreeable.

As for the example of the City Council member, I'm not drawing a hard line. There are certainly times where it's appropriate to reveal what someone said in private communication and if one of them is a public figure that can be a factor. But too often, a person's fame is used as a way to justify bad behavior, as in "He's a public figure so that just comes along with it.".
posted by BigSky at 7:41 AM on November 21, 2007

...[he] continues to keep his name all over the Internet and now TV -- possibly under the belief that all press is good press and he'll get some modeling gigs or a book deal...

"The catch-22 for you is that no publicity is bad publicity. I am getting offers for things - movies, books, TV shows.^*

posted by ericb at 7:50 AM on November 21, 2007

There are certainly times where it's appropriate to reveal what someone said in private communication and if one of them is a public figure that can be a factor.

"Now that I am a national figure, I have the protection afforded to one. So if you are think you are anonymous, and can harrass me at will from a distance, think twice before you call or email me. Stalking, harrassing and threatening people is not funny - it is serious, and a crime!"^*

posted by ericb at 7:53 AM on November 21, 2007

pineapple writes "Look at if it were a similarly public political figure, say a city council member -- if he had been a rude douche to a girl, and she had made that email and interaction known, would we say, 'Oh, that bitch, she had no right to maliciously share that private correspondence?' Or would we say, 'Yikes, sucks for City Council Member... but as a public figure he really should have behaved better.' ?"

I don't know. Is being rude in private a deal breaker for a politician? I would be a little nonplussed if someone revealed something so trivial about a politician. I am not so sure that being a public figure entitles the public to examine the most private details of your life.
posted by krinklyfig at 8:05 AM on November 21, 2007

"But perhaps you meant he's the one being disingenuous (even though I'm the one who is apparently 'willfully ignoring the obvious')."

Sorry to be unclear, I was speaking generally and not personally. I definitely think Page is playing the ingenue ("poh widdle me!"), and I think that a perspective of "oh, that poor beleaguered guy" is disingenuous -- not that you, BigSky, are disingenuous.

"Anyway the only point here is I find the attacks and the whole mentality that gets titillated by tearing into the current symbol of whatever sets them off, to be really lame."

I agree with this wholly. For me, though, there is a line within my perspective, because it doesn't seem right to castigate only the mob and not the original instigator (which I see now that you aren't actually doing).

"I don't know. Is being rude in private a deal breaker for a politician? I would be a little nonplussed if someone revealed something so trivial about a politician. I am not so sure that being a public figure entitles the public to examine the most private details of your life."

I think this is an ideal for which we should be striving, in a perfect world. But unfortunately, the pervasive American "tabloidization" culture will win every time. Look at Nicolas Sarkozy, the president of France: This is a country that never blinked once over Mitterand keeping a mistress and illegitimate child in a presidential apartment, and mocked us for being so prudish about the private matters of politicians, during the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal... but now that Sarkozy's wife is leaving him, it's suddenly a huge public gossip-fest and scandal. Have the French magically changed? Or is it more likely that the Americanization of international media consumption has reached a fever pitch?

I'm not saying I think it's the way we should be living, but I do think it's the norm whether we like it or not. (This isn't necessarily relevant specifically to Page, just on the notion of whether politicians have the right to a private life on which the public cannot comment).

(But anyway, I've gone a bit far afield relevance-wise, even for a "public figure / private life" discussion. Relating John Fitzgerald Page to Sarkozy or Clinton is putting lipstick on a pig.*)

* not even close to the right use of that idiom, but for the life of me I can't think of the one I want, so feel free to mail me with the correct metaphor for "a lesser thing aspiring to be something great."
posted by pineapple at 9:05 AM on November 21, 2007

Well I am going to the gym in 24 minutes! 24! Beat that, motherfucker!
posted by alby at 9:50 AM on November 21, 2007