Rent a genius!
April 5, 2001 12:22 AM   Subscribe

Rent a genius! Got troubles with...well...anything? Not to worry, the answer to all your problems is just a $250/hour genius away.
posted by fiery (17 comments total)
I've learned ho to write letters that actually get published.
But apparently this genius hasn't learned ho to use a spellchecker.
posted by u.n. owen at 12:41 AM on April 5, 2001

Other potential character flaws:
* He's been divorced.
* He hates his ex-wife.
* He knows an awful lot about escort services.
* He spells poorly, and is proud of it.
* He doesn't know how to anti-alias thumbnails.
posted by waxpancake at 12:55 AM on April 5, 2001

And when it comes down to it, if I was going to hire a genius, it'd probably be someone like this or this or this. But I probably couldn't afford them, so I guess I'd be left with Mr. Perkel.
posted by waxpancake at 1:02 AM on April 5, 2001

I've seen many escorts on the side myself. But that doesn't mean your going to get free sex. This is what they do for a living. I have traded them used computers for sex though. Good way to get rid of that old Pentium 120.

A scholar and a gentleman.
posted by Tacodog at 1:54 AM on April 5, 2001

Waxpancake: Actually, on that page you linked to, he says "I don't hate you" in reference to his ex-wife.
posted by Potsy at 2:56 AM on April 5, 2001

Uh, I mean just plain "to" his ex-wife, not "in reference to".
posted by Potsy at 3:33 AM on April 5, 2001

I think he seems like your wacky friend who's a little bit of a scam artist but also a lot of fun to hang out with.
Haven't seen many of those Home-type graphics lately. Nostalgia.
posted by rodii at 5:43 AM on April 5, 2001

why rent a genius when you can breed your own?
posted by dutchbint at 7:02 AM on April 5, 2001

In 1982 I did some LSD and figured out how the world worked.

Hmm. Okay. *laugh*
posted by NsJen at 7:19 AM on April 5, 2001

$250 an hour? Mr. Holley is only asking for $16!

And since he currently drives a cab in Las Vegas, I bet he has some insights into the commercial sex field as well.
posted by Jart at 8:15 AM on April 5, 2001

No, no, no. See, look at the site again, noting that he includes "web design" among his specialties. So why does this look like a Geocities site, circa 1994? Why, I'll tell you.

You're not really going to be paying for a bona fide genius. What you're paying for is a Wile E. Coyote "Suuuuuuper Genius!" Look at the photo again! For $250 an hour, he'll make "wacky" faces while you crush him under anvils; he'll stare dolefully at you after you push him off a cliff, and hilariously hold up a sign saying "help" before plummeting to a bone-crushing landing; heck, he will maim himself horribly time and time again while you contentedly munch trail mix and occasionally hoot, "Meep! Meep!"

This is a total bargain.
posted by Skot at 8:35 AM on April 5, 2001

Its only a bargain if he has a totally groovy sparkly spandex jammies and goggles.
posted by fiery at 9:24 AM on April 5, 2001

Potsy: Sure he does. He says it explicitly: "I don't like it that I've come to hate my ex-wife so much. I don't like being the kind of person who hates people."
posted by waxpancake at 10:20 AM on April 5, 2001

Wow, same page as the other comment, too. I think he's confused.

Well, that's just one more reason for us to ridicule him! C'mon everybody, dogpile on the "genius"!
posted by Potsy at 4:48 PM on April 5, 2001

"In 1982 I did some LSD and figured out how the world worked. I decided to buy a house, start a business, and rejoin the real world. It was quite a trip."

OK, he's cool.

Just for coming out and saying this the way he said it, in the context of the other stuff he's done.

I like people who aren't afraid to come out and say positive things about their drug experiences just like that. It's plain to see the guy takes himself (and his Brain) a mite too seriously, which is a problem that tends to plague us psychonautical types. I think the fact that I spent my first year in Berkeley (1983) tripping a lot, having all sorts of flavours of experience but always coming back to my room and reading the Book of the SubGenius when I was coming down helped to cure me of that, and early on. I believe this has been fortuitous for me.

One thing I don't get is what is so geniuslike about Mr. Brain's belonging to both the Demopublicans and the Republicrats.

posted by monde at 10:16 AM on April 6, 2001

$250/hour? I'll do it for $50.
posted by frykitty at 10:26 AM on April 6, 2001

Oh baby!
posted by fiery at 12:05 AM on April 7, 2001

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