237 reasons
January 11, 2008 11:34 AM   Subscribe

237 reasons why humans have sex (PDF). The research paper referenced in David Buss' contribution to The Edge. NYT comment and analysis.
posted by Tarn (52 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite


 
49. I was drunk

Well, someone's lying.
posted by nasreddin at 11:40 AM on January 11, 2008


Does one need a reason, really?
posted by clevershark at 11:41 AM on January 11, 2008


Is the writers strike in there?
posted by the sobsister at 11:47 AM on January 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


There are 237 brands of beer?
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 11:48 AM on January 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


I was young, I needed the money.
posted by horsewithnoname at 11:51 AM on January 11, 2008 [3 favorites]


The most infrequent list makes me feel dirty.
posted by roll truck roll at 11:52 AM on January 11, 2008


I think we've all, at one time or another, gone to bed at 2 with a 10 and gotten up at 10 with a 2.
posted by mullingitover at 11:53 AM on January 11, 2008


With 237 reasons why, why am I having so little?
posted by Pollomacho at 11:54 AM on January 11, 2008 [4 favorites]


I wanted to change the topic of conversation ?

What happened to clearing your throat and asking "How bout them Yankees?"
posted by jcruelty at 11:55 AM on January 11, 2008


I swear to god, baby, I didn't. I know how it looks.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:57 AM on January 11, 2008


The top 50 most frequently-cited reasons seem to break down to multiple variations on the same two reasons:

-- He / She was hot
-- I like sex

The least frequently-cited contain some that are a little more interesting:

--I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease
--I wanted to punish myself
--It was an initiation rite to a club or organization
--Because of a bet
posted by dersins at 11:58 AM on January 11, 2008


Top 45 reasons not to have sex.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:59 AM on January 11, 2008


I can explain everything.
posted by chillmost at 12:00 PM on January 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


I want to change the topic of conversation here. Who wants to have sex?
posted by never used baby shoes at 12:03 PM on January 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


What, you mean WITH someone?
posted by Floydd at 12:08 PM on January 11, 2008


We can call it an initiation rite, if you like.
posted by never used baby shoes at 12:11 PM on January 11, 2008


I did it for the lulz.
posted by humannaire at 12:13 PM on January 11, 2008 [6 favorites]


I don't know why I have sex, but I masturbate to keep my right hand jealous of my left hand.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:23 PM on January 11, 2008 [2 favorites]


It would be wrong to deny anyone the healing power of my mystical cock.
posted by klangklangston at 12:32 PM on January 11, 2008


Up until now, I was almost positive that anything ending with .pdf could have absolutely nothing to do with sex. One of those universal constants or something.
posted by Dave Faris at 12:37 PM on January 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


Because I had no internet.
posted by dhartung at 12:44 PM on January 11, 2008


I don't think I'll ever take a "perfect 10" to bed, so I'll have to try and bed five "twos" instead.
posted by porn in the woods at 12:56 PM on January 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


I wanted to punish myself?????
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:03 PM on January 11, 2008


I blame it on the bossanova.
posted by Eekacat at 1:05 PM on January 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


It would damage my reputation if I said "No".

I'm not sure the words "damage" and "reputation" mean what you think they mean.

I wanted to feel older.

Younger? I can't find younger on there.

I wanted to feel closed (sic) to God.


That'll do it.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 1:11 PM on January 11, 2008


Missing: "For teh lulz."
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:13 PM on January 11, 2008



21. I wanted to get rid of a headache
50. The person demanded that I have sex with him/her

Suddenly, I have two new pick up lines proven to have worked at least once. Thank you internet!
posted by 1f2frfbf at 1:16 PM on January 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


Because it's Friday.

Make it quick, she says.
posted by chillmost at 1:20 PM on January 11, 2008


I wanted to soften my image for the New Hampshire primary.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 1:26 PM on January 11, 2008 [4 favorites]


How is it an odd number? Is there a supermodel out there with three boobs?
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 1:31 PM on January 11, 2008


There are men who have sex to feel feminine and women who have sex to feel masculine. Interesting.
posted by mkb at 1:31 PM on January 11, 2008


A lot of them are really sad. I wonder how honest people are about rape-like experiences. More or less than in a survey about sexual abuse?
posted by lunit at 1:42 PM on January 11, 2008


Is there a supermodel out there with three boobs?

That would be a superDUPERmodel, xquizyyuhoizfyger.
posted by dersins at 1:47 PM on January 11, 2008


Up until now, I was almost positive that anything ending with .pdf could have absolutely nothing to do with sex.

It could have been worse. Think "powerpoint".
posted by clevershark at 1:51 PM on January 11, 2008


It could have been worse. Think "powerpoint".

I'm tempted to make one.


It would have the peew-peew one-letter-at-a-time laser sound.
posted by danb at 2:14 PM on January 11, 2008


I haven't, mullingitover.
posted by sonic meat machine at 2:23 PM on January 11, 2008


These are a few of my favorite beans.
posted by iamkimiam at 3:09 PM on January 11, 2008


Metafilter: I thought it would make me feel healthy.

The "least frequent" reasons remind me of discussions of witchcraft in anthropology. "I wanted to make money", "I wanted to hurt an enemy", "I wanted to get rid of a headache", "I thought it would boost my social status"...
posted by No-sword at 3:17 PM on January 11, 2008


They left out 5 obvious reasons:

1) Winterizing the pipes
2) In trade for World of Warcraft gear
3) Colonizing the planet
4) Oprah told me to
5) Every 30 years or so it seems like the right thing to do
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:23 PM on January 11, 2008


237 reasons why humans have sex.

238. I needed an excuse to smoke.
posted by jonmc at 4:46 PM on January 11, 2008



What I don't understand is why this research was done at all. These are verbal rationalizations for why people have sex-- why would they matter?

People have sex because nature made it feel good in order for us to reproduce. You'd think evolutionary psychologists would know that. I am not sure at all what this gives to the literature or reason a journal would publish it.

Sometimes the obvious is just obvious.
posted by Maias at 4:58 PM on January 11, 2008


The list needs more Nodoro.
posted by purephase at 5:49 PM on January 11, 2008


Because it leaves my cock sore and crucified.

All join now in lament for the death of my cock.
posted by Tube at 6:07 PM on January 11, 2008


Astro Zombie - are you right handed, or left handed?
posted by russm at 6:27 PM on January 11, 2008


I saw "Because it feels good" on there, but I'm not seeing "Because it feels fucking amazing"...
posted by LordSludge at 7:12 PM on January 11, 2008


Because it makes your parents mad.
posted by hermitosis at 9:21 PM on January 11, 2008


Because an erection is a terrible thing to waste.
But my usual reason is: Because it's today.
posted by Goofyy at 4:50 AM on January 12, 2008


In semi-seriousness, from the NYT article:

Who knew, for instance, that a headache had any erotic significance except as an excuse for saying no? But some respondents of both sexes explained that they’d had sex “to get rid of a headache.” It’s No. 173 on the list.

Dude. Last night my boyfriend told me that if he doesn't have sex every few days, he gets a headache. I had never heard of this. So, apparently this is a real thing. Does anyone know the underlying mechanism for this? Is it biological/chemical/pyschological? Like, is there some sort of feedback loop that says "Hrm. What's a good way to make this guy spread his genes? Hey! I know! Headache!" or is it more of a gripping ennui that sets in when the sub-ego realizes that it hasn't distracted itself from the futility of life recently? Both?
posted by grapefruitmoon at 8:47 AM on January 12, 2008


Last night my boyfriend told me that if he doesn't have sex every few days, he gets a headache. I had never heard of this. So, apparently this is a real thing.

Or, y'know, a way to persuade you to have sex with him at least that often. "C'mon, baby, I'm hurtin' here! I've got a headache, and the only cure is more grapefruitmoon!"
posted by dersins at 9:20 AM on January 12, 2008


Am I reading it right in that "Because they were intelligent" is only in men's top 50? WTG, stereotypes!
posted by bonaldi at 9:51 AM on January 12, 2008


Orgasms can, indeed, cure some kinds of headaches.

(scroll down)
posted by merelyglib at 2:27 PM on January 13, 2008


237?

In a row?
posted by terrapin at 3:37 PM on January 13, 2008


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