April 5, 2001 9:29 PM   Subscribe

posted by bwg (12 comments total)
Looks like a good companion to Onion. Thanks bwg.
posted by aflakete at 9:48 PM on April 5, 2001

"If this troubling trend continues, Bush warned, the United States will be forced to "take its ball and go home." Asked exactly what ball he was referring to, Bush replied: "It's big and blue and we all live on it."
posted by northwestblogger at 9:59 PM on April 5, 2001

"These people have to recognize that there is an entire United States community out there beyond their borders."

bwg, thank you thank you thank you. If I was in Hong Kong I'd buy you a coffee or a pastry or something, because this totally made my day.
posted by lia at 11:43 PM on April 5, 2001

Make jokes. We are still number one, the best, tops! and we can kick ass.
posted by Postroad at 5:17 AM on April 6, 2001

Number one at what?

I wasn't aware that the act of being a country was a competition.
posted by Succa at 5:20 AM on April 6, 2001

Everything is a competition to us Americans, Succa.

Nice link, bwg.
posted by CRS at 6:14 AM on April 6, 2001

"I don't know where it came from. My partner and I were flying along in our lumbering fighter jets, when all of the sudden this American Super-sonic Prop plane came out of nowhere and chopped up my partner's fighter jet!! They turned that big thing on a dime and headed right into him!! There wasn't anything I could do. I would have shot some warning shots at this super-high-tech-high-speed-highly-maneuverable-surveillance-prop-plane, but I knew my fighter jet was no match for this over grown cesna. "

I'm tired of propaganda, either from china, the democrats about taxes, the rebublicans, the russians, germans, whoever. Stand up for what you believe in. Those who believe in it too will follow.
posted by tomplus2 at 6:32 AM on April 6, 2001

Please stop shouting your posts.
posted by darren at 6:57 AM on April 6, 2001

Several countries, including India, are encouraging their skilled high tech workers to stay home and not emigrate to the United States, ignoring the fact that the United States "could probably use them."

Really funny writing in this article. Up there with the best of the Onion. Thanks, bwg!
posted by straight at 7:26 AM on April 6, 2001

Reminds me of Garrison Keillor's Nixon-era New Yorker essay, "US Still On Top, Says Rest of World".

I just wish SatireWire's articles were a little longer. The Onion's are often a little too long, but these are too short. Ah well, brevity-soul-wit and all that.

Succa, Postroad is not trolling, he is speaking sarcastically. Though I admit the distinction can be a fine one depending on the weather.
posted by dhartung at 7:32 AM on April 6, 2001

darren, i am well aware of what shouting looks like.

if you had followed the link, you would have seen this is a direct copy from the headline on that site.

i decided in this instance it would add to the humour, and thus left it all capped.


posted by bwg at 9:22 AM on April 6, 2001

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