A fine whine
January 23, 2008 10:12 AM   Subscribe

Finally, one central point of aggregation for the complaints of white people. So this solves that problem -- now, who's going to make a mayonnaise jar with a mouth wide enough to make it easy to scrape out the last bits? GOSH!
posted by stupidsexyFlanders (67 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
 
LOL WHITE PEOPLE COMPLAIN LIKE THAT BUT BLACK PEOPLE COMPLAIN LIKE THIS AMIRITE?
posted by dersins at 10:18 AM on January 23, 2008 [3 favorites]


LolGrumpywhitey OK, but ppppffttt needs more characterization I guess. It's not like I am whineying, just pointing out !

Assholes.
posted by elpapacito at 10:18 AM on January 23, 2008


The mayonnaise companies have heard your complaint, and they have responded thus. Yes, mere squeeze bottles of mayonnaise were not effective enough, and now the bottles are "non-stick" to ensure you can get every last bit of delicious soybean oil emulsion.
posted by jedicus at 10:21 AM on January 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


Yeah-- why the color card?
We're "not supposed" to play it in politics, but it seems to be coming out in other venues--is it because we can't stop thinking how different ( i.e. superior) we are?
posted by Dizzy at 10:21 AM on January 23, 2008


Also, many of the complaints are obviously artificial and none of them, artificial or otherwise, are very funny. And seconding dersins.
posted by jedicus at 10:25 AM on January 23, 2008


White people! Black people!
posted by jquinby at 10:25 AM on January 23, 2008 [2 favorites]


/thread
posted by Dr-Baa at 10:27 AM on January 23, 2008


Not white enough.
posted by empath at 10:28 AM on January 23, 2008


don make put a cap up in ya post.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:28 AM on January 23, 2008


I HAVE NO MELANIN & I MUST KVETCH
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:30 AM on January 23, 2008 [10 favorites]


Let privileged whining ring. And when this happens, and when we allow privileged whining ring—when we whine from every sauna and every ski chalet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children—black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics—will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: "Chanel at last! Yachts at last! Thank God Almighty, we have a summer home at Tuckahoe at last!"
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:30 AM on January 23, 2008 [5 favorites]


On another note, we made some mayo at home during the summer. It really was tasty, but turned scary pretty quick in the fridge. My current favorite mayo is the Trader Joe's Wasabi Mayo, which I learned about on an askmefi. Quite good on a turkey sandwich.
posted by jquinby at 10:33 AM on January 23, 2008


Huh...I thought I was white....guess not.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 10:33 AM on January 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


Hmm, well there are lots of white people who have a pretty raw deal in this country. No health insurance, etc.
posted by delmoi at 10:36 AM on January 23, 2008


I feel responsible for this. So, so sorry.
posted by abulafa at 10:37 AM on January 23, 2008


Mm, tumblr. It's web 2.0, at least mod 2.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:38 AM on January 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


Hilarious, this thread is a bunch of white people complaining about stereotyping white people.

I thought the link was funny.
posted by borkingchikapa at 10:40 AM on January 23, 2008 [2 favorites]


I was about to complain about the subway map and then I got it.

Well played, White Whine, well played.
posted by griphus at 10:41 AM on January 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


what, no lolwhitepeople tag?
posted by Stynxno at 10:44 AM on January 23, 2008


OK, this was great:

“Honestly, what self-respecting bar doesn’t have Heineken?”

posted by porn in the woods at 10:46 AM on January 23, 2008


the white nyc subway map is hysterical.
posted by shmegegge at 10:46 AM on January 23, 2008


This site is awesome.
posted by chunking express at 10:49 AM on January 23, 2008


I likes the subway map. The rest of the site, meh. The Wings whine was funny.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:56 AM on January 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


White people don't take the subway to JFK.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 10:58 AM on January 23, 2008


BORING.
posted by hellslinger at 11:03 AM on January 23, 2008


Hootie and the Blowfish ARE BREAKING UP!??!?
posted by porn in the woods at 11:04 AM on January 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


“Honestly, what self-respecting bar doesn’t have Heineken?”

Obligatory Blue Velvet clip.
(NSFW- Hopper being Hopper)
posted by Dr-Baa at 11:04 AM on January 23, 2008 [2 favorites]


Honestly, what self-respecting bar doesn’t have Heineken?

Last spring, I helped clean up a small park in New Orleans that serves a predominantly black neighborhood. The single most commonly found items of litter I found around the park were Heineken bottle caps--I'm talking dozens upon dozens of them, on the curbs, underneath baseball bleachers, clusters found at random, etc.
posted by raysmj at 11:10 AM on January 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


Now on my Learn a New Thing Every Day List: Americans have a stereotype that black people don't like mayonnaise (or that white people really like mayonnaise? Quick Googling suggested the former.)

Where does this come from? Is it a stereotype held by both black people and white people?
posted by alasdair at 11:11 AM on January 23, 2008


delmoi lots of people don't have health insurance in the U.S. Age, gender, race, etc... have nothing to do with that.
posted by lonefrontranger at 11:15 AM on January 23, 2008


White people also don't go to Mets games.
posted by Skorgu at 11:24 AM on January 23, 2008


I thought it was interesting, but I'd call it yuppie whine, not white whine.
posted by smackfu at 11:29 AM on January 23, 2008


lonefrontranger: lots of people don't have health insurance in the U.S. Age, gender, race, etc... have nothing to do with that. are all factors.
posted by LordSludge at 11:32 AM on January 23, 2008


Maybe I can bond with some black people over our mutual hatred of mayonnaise. I never knew. Oh shit, I wonder if I'm black?
posted by prosthezis at 11:32 AM on January 23, 2008


just sayin...
posted by LordSludge at 11:33 AM on January 23, 2008


Should say "privileged" white people.

Those of us who grew up in the real world don't worry about such triflin' BS.

And would never be shallow and selfish enough to brag about such useless concerns.

Bleah. Irritating.
posted by batmonkey at 11:36 AM on January 23, 2008


Mayonnaise hating is something I can get behind. Appalling substance.
posted by maxwelton at 11:39 AM on January 23, 2008 [3 favorites]


Americans have a stereotype that black people don't like mayonnaise

Ya momma. I love mayo. On hot dogs, on sandwiches, on any kind of burger. I think I love horseradish just because it's like mayo's spicy aunt.
posted by cashman at 11:47 AM on January 23, 2008


Where in the fuck did anybody get the idea that non-whites don't like mayonnaise?
posted by ethnomethodologist at 11:49 AM on January 23, 2008


the white nyc subway map is hysterical.

I likes the subway map.

Is this something you'd have to have been in NYC for more than an hour changing buses in the bowels of Port Authority to understand?
posted by CKmtl at 11:55 AM on January 23, 2008


White people also don't go to Mets games.

Nonsense, piffle, bosh, eyewash.
posted by Divine_Wino at 11:57 AM on January 23, 2008


As a white person, I have to say I was shocked and frightened at how that website crawled into my brain and ripped out all my daily concerns, grievances, and worries. This must be how it would have been like if Kirk had met Evil Kirk sans the Evil.



...
posted by Atreides at 12:00 PM on January 23, 2008


Where in the fuck did anybody get the idea that non-whites don't like mayonnaise?

It was in this month's newsletter. If you are white you should've gotten it. If you're not then you're not supposed to know that you don't like mayonnaise so forget we said anything.
posted by prosthezis at 12:01 PM on January 23, 2008 [1 favorite]




Wait when did white people corner the market on mayo love? I'm Asian and we get down with the Kewpie
posted by cazoo at 12:08 PM on January 23, 2008


so this whole kerfuffle about may was an Underover Brother reference?! For fuck's sake, people.
posted by shmegegge at 12:11 PM on January 23, 2008


*mayo
posted by shmegegge at 12:11 PM on January 23, 2008


Undercover Brother is way over my head.
posted by prosthezis at 12:13 PM on January 23, 2008


I think mayo-liking is more an indicator of a lack of strong ethnic identity (think WASP) than whiteness per se, at least according to the stereotype. It marks the contrast between the likes of Chet, the sweater-wearing Pine Hills tennis pro and that of Herschel, the Pastrami-eating pawnbroker, or Vinnie, the meatball-munching Goombah.
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:23 PM on January 23, 2008


so this whole kerfuffle about may was an Underover Brother reference?! For fuck's sake, people.

Well, not just that.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 12:23 PM on January 23, 2008



OJ didn't do it.
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 12:30 PM on January 23, 2008


If you don't get the subway map, compare.
posted by agentofselection at 12:34 PM on January 23, 2008


From an FCC link from Armitage Shanks google search:

"A major mayonnaise manufacturer refused to buy commercial time based upon the perception that "Black people don't eat mayonnaise." (National Association of Black Owned Broadcasters, Spring Conference, 1997, page 2 of report)"

Oh I have simply got to see the original report by the NABOB. If it references the yo momma joke "I saw your momma kicking an mayonnaise jar down the street, so I asked her what she was doing---she said "Moving", I totally win.
posted by cashman at 1:26 PM on January 23, 2008 [3 favorites]


alasdair writes "Now on my Learn a New Thing Every Day List: Americans have a stereotype that black people don't like mayonnaise"

Huh. That's totally news to me. Japanese, on the other hand, fucking LOOOOOOOOVE mayonnaise. I'm guessing it's just that black people don't like Japanese people.
posted by Bugbread at 1:53 PM on January 23, 2008


This website disgust me. It stereotypes people of the caucasoid phenotype as privileged whiners. One of my best friends in High School was white. He had trouble paying for college; unfortunately, his 1/16th Indian blood did not qualify him for any minority heritage scholarships.
posted by Mister Cheese at 2:05 PM on January 23, 2008


Well, yeah. Japanese people taste funny.
posted by nebulawindphone at 2:05 PM on January 23, 2008


This site is hilarious and mayonnaise is delicious.
posted by EatTheWeak at 2:36 PM on January 23, 2008


The mayo thing predates Undercover Brother.

From The Jerk (1979):

"I cooked up your favourite meal: tuna fish salad on white bread with mayonnaise, a Tab and a couple of Twinkies."

I bet it predates "The Jerk," too.

If you haven't seen 'The Jerk'... go rent it!
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 3:25 PM on January 23, 2008


fuzzy monster, that was a white guy who thought he was black and who loved mayonnaise. different animal entirely.
posted by shmegegge at 3:27 PM on January 23, 2008


agent of selection -- thanks for the reference point. i "got" that the altered map must not show lines going to "certain" parts of the city, but i had no idea how graphic the difference was.

funny!!
posted by CitizenD at 3:36 PM on January 23, 2008


shmegegge: in the scene in question... Steve Martin's character thinks he's a "poor black child," but he always feels a bit different than the rest of his family. He loves different food and different music than the rest of his family. While the rest of his family is eating soul food ("Black"), Steve Martin's Mom cooks him his favorite food: tuna fish salad on white bread with mayo ("White). The whole point of the scene is to contrast his personal likes and dislikes, which are stereotypically white, with the likes of the rest of his family, which are stereotypically black.

The above scene illustrates that "white people like mayonnaise" is a well-known stereotype since at least 1979.

This stereotype can be found again in the Undercover Brother quote earlier in this thread: "If you're going to fit in to white America, you're gonna have to learn to like MAYONNAISE!"

This stereotype can also be found in the FPP: "now, who's going to make a mayonnaise jar with a mouth wide enough to make it easy to scrape out the last bits?"

Same animal, my friend.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 3:44 PM on January 23, 2008


Mayonnaise is teh suck. I'm right with prosthezis and maxwelton on this one. [MAYOIST]
posted by misha at 4:07 PM on January 23, 2008


While I find mayo absolutely revolting, for some reason I love the vinegary tang of miracle whip.

I also douse french fries with A1 sauce.
posted by bunnytricks at 5:30 PM on January 23, 2008


To learn more about white people, and even see some pictures of what white people look like and how they dress, look at blackpeopleloveus.com. Wow! There's just so much to learn about white people!
posted by fuq at 5:36 PM on January 23, 2008


While I find mayo absolutely revolting, for some reason I love the vinegary tang of miracle whip.

That was usually the stereotype I heard about white people.
posted by concrete at 6:40 PM on January 23, 2008


"Tunafish" as glopped onto sandwiches is basically canned dolphin mixed with mayo in the first place, isn't it? So a tunafish sandwich with mayo is like a mayo sandwich with extra mayo plus some tropical fish flakes. Gag me.

You can put the "relish" or "secret sauce" burger joints put on burgers in that disgusting category as well. It's ketchup, mayo and something pickled (shoes? beets? foreskins?) put in a blender and then puked onto a bun.
posted by maxwelton at 10:08 PM on January 23, 2008


I hate mayonnaise myself too, but it has a fascinating history.

The site's a one-trick joke, based on the old bit about "white people problems." Chris Rock has been the most popular recent purveyor of that one, I think.
posted by mrgrimm at 2:13 PM on January 24, 2008


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