**** could CLEVAGE sway a campaign?
January 27, 2008 12:12 AM   Subscribe

before you dismiss this thread as shovenistic or passe, lets emancipate morality from the flesh and consider the following: i happen to know someone, rather intimately, who is MAMMARIALLY BLESSED the translation being that this someone is a woman. . . a woman who happens to have rather large, rather aesthetically pleasing breasts. the poor thing. here is my question: to what extent, if any, could the emergence of a single pair of breasts play in a formal democratic election? if you are interested, or mildly offended at the very least, please read on...

A dear acquaintance of mine informed me the other day that he was in the running for a student-elected post as a columnist/editorialist at his respective university's on-campus publication.
His competition is fierce: he happens to attend one of the top public institutions in the country and as such finds himself pitted against highly resourceful and politically savvy individuals with consciences twenty years their own respective seniors and a natural knack for the proverbial selling out for personal advancement.
basically they suck.
My acquaintance, being resourceful and cunning himself, countered their efforts with similar (yet far less refined) tactics only to find himself floundering and losing badly.
He is not like them. Sure he can map the portion of the brain responsible for human cognition, but he can ALSO slam a beer bong in record time and positively OWN Huey Lewis when hitting up local Karaoke dives.
The boy needed an alternative approach for jump-starting his campaign. . . his stock bleeding heart liberal merits simply werent distinguishing him.

So I suggested breasts.

Fact is, the kid is just as qualified as anyone else he is running against but jesus lord no matter HOW driven you are to succeed the fact remains that you are 23 years old and it behooves you to do due diligence to both yourself and yoru age group and celebrate this most unique and sexually sloppy era in your life.

Again, how better to do so than breasts?

So I brought in my special lady friend to assist in the cause. Call it a social experiment if you cant get comfortable with two breasts standing for something on their own but the long and short of it is that we want to see if the sponsorship of what I hold to be two picturesque mammary glands can engender an appreciable lift in voter response for my dear dear friend.

fact is that the kid has done everything else that everyone else has done. he has the GPA and the references and the gray matter and the charm. but he ALSO has two killer tits behind him now and I dont know a man OR woman who wouldnt at least consider getting behind a candidate who has breasts in their constituency.


and the "official" images of these breasts actually have a "vote 4 ___" but i have omitted to protect the innocent.

come on people. theyre just boobs, right?! or are they?
posted by Escapetank (7 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: A rambling story about student electioneering, and a self-link to a pair of breasts? Congratulations: this is one of the worst posts I've ever seen. This is prize-winningly bad. Pure stunno. You have done exactly nothing right. -- cortex

posted by stammer at 12:14 AM on January 27, 2008

umm... what?
posted by slater at 12:15 AM on January 27, 2008 [1 favorite]

The ends justify the means.
posted by null terminated at 12:15 AM on January 27, 2008

No. I am not ready for another breast or sexism related discussion at this time. Flagged as "just really not a good idea right now".
posted by Jon Mitchell at 12:16 AM on January 27, 2008

I miss the days when we had images and Matt would be away from Metafilter for the whole night.

Or maybe I don't.
posted by vacapinta at 12:16 AM on January 27, 2008

posted by slater at 12:16 AM on January 27, 2008

Double you tee eff?
posted by pompomtom at 12:19 AM on January 27, 2008

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