Test your national pride
February 9, 2008 3:28 PM   Subscribe

 
Awesomely subversive.
posted by hanoixan at 3:33 PM on February 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


This is a strawman argument ("immigrants are productive members of society, you racist asshole") which was evidently set up to knock down another strawman argument ("immigrants are drains on society, one and all").
posted by Electrius at 3:34 PM on February 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


Message aside, you don't really get to kick them...it's more of a toss.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:35 PM on February 9, 2008


Apparently only five immigrants were found who contribute to the Australian economy.
posted by shakespeherian at 3:36 PM on February 9, 2008 [9 favorites]


Only five willing to be tossed, you mean.
posted by goo at 3:37 PM on February 9, 2008


Man, what was that game based on some Japanese comic book or something where you hit the guy with the bicycle and send him flying through the air and you can give him boosts and there are some girls on the ground and you want to avoid some and hit others?

That was awesome.
posted by mr_roboto at 3:39 PM on February 9, 2008


mr_roboto: It's called Nanaca Crash!!! (Extra !'s optional)
posted by patr1ck at 3:42 PM on February 9, 2008 [2 favorites]


I don't know if their arguments are right but they sure make a shit flash game.
posted by Justinian at 3:43 PM on February 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


Kumar Singh just bounced across eight islands in a row and it was awesome.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 3:45 PM on February 9, 2008


Toss lightly and you get an awesome whale spout boost.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:48 PM on February 9, 2008


Things I've learned from this game:

1) It's not always those damn immigants.
2) When correctly applied, whale spouts can launch asian women into outer space.
posted by CKmtl at 3:55 PM on February 9, 2008 [3 favorites]


Someone should make one of these for the US.
posted by wsg at 3:56 PM on February 9, 2008


Electrius: It certainly isn't a straw man argument. It isn't an unanswerable question either; the economic impact of immigration is something economists study (e.g. the impact on the labour market).

That said, I think that we ought to make decisions about immigration policies primarily on moral grounds.
posted by ssg at 3:58 PM on February 9, 2008


i'm not tossing them because they're migrants, i'm tossing them because they're australians
posted by pyramid termite at 4:01 PM on February 9, 2008 [12 favorites]


See what they need is a giant fence to keep them migrants out. We are about to get one buit here in the U S and I'm sure it'll fix all our problems.
posted by nola at 4:06 PM on February 9, 2008


My first toss went 900km (thanks to a couple fortunate whale blasts) but after that, I can barely get them out of the harbor.
posted by mathowie at 4:07 PM on February 9, 2008


See what they need is a giant fence to keep them migrants out. We are about to get one buit here in the U S and I'm sure it'll fix all our problems.

The official U.S. slogan is 'Well if it worked for the Romans...'
posted by shakespeherian at 4:10 PM on February 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


I just cost Australia a lot of money.
posted by pwally at 4:12 PM on February 9, 2008


Good point Hadrian's wall cut down on a bunch of illegal imagrants crossing the border and taking all those Roman jobs.
posted by nola at 4:12 PM on February 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


Aw fuck. I threw out a hot chick. No fair.
posted by ColdChef at 4:14 PM on February 9, 2008


Mine keep getting blocked by stingray barbs
posted by Flashman at 4:15 PM on February 9, 2008 [3 favorites]


If you don't throw them far enough, they'll be able to swim back. No fair.
posted by ColdChef at 4:15 PM on February 9, 2008


My first toss went 900km (thanks to a couple fortunate whale blasts) but after that, I can barely get them out of the harbor.

Hey, I got 940. If we team up, mathowie, we can get plenty of Olympic medals for Australia. Noone complains about immigrants winning medals.
posted by ersatz at 4:19 PM on February 9, 2008


I threw one of them right into the side of a hot-air balloon.

That was pretty cool.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:32 PM on February 9, 2008


I kicked Kasia Kowalksa out, and she must've swum right back -- she was on the cliff again next time I looked. Scrappy!
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:33 PM on February 9, 2008


Hadrian's Wall was not intended to keep out immigrants, of course, but rather as a defensive measure against foreign incursions...there is a difference, and that, for example, applies also to the Wall of China, which was not to keep out American's who wanted Nike shoes.
posted by Postroad at 4:37 PM on February 9, 2008


1184km!!!! Thanks, whale spout!

This is honestly a lot better than the xenophobic crap site I thought it was going to be. I was expecting a mess in this thread and a MeTa callout.
posted by caution live frogs at 4:54 PM on February 9, 2008


Nice one Deano.
posted by strawberryviagra at 4:55 PM on February 9, 2008


Since we're all absurdly over-competitive with online games, I'll start the bidding with a 2,126km.
posted by Burger-Eating Invasion Monkey at 4:56 PM on February 9, 2008


Damn, hitting Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right BA Start used to send them directly to the Nauru sublevel, but doesn't seem to work anymore.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 4:58 PM on February 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


Sure, everyone wants to keep the well educated migrants who are highly productive members of society. How come we can't throw out the uneducated pregnant ones who just come here to use our welfare benefits and give give birth to an American baby so they whole family is harder to deport? Over the cliff with you, Maria!
posted by Daddy-O at 5:05 PM on February 9, 2008


If you're not Australian, then you're just mean.
posted by Free word order! at 5:13 PM on February 9, 2008


800m - mine was a PhD candidate.

Daddy-O seems to have not clicked the link.

clue: it's not always about America!
posted by dash_slot- at 5:19 PM on February 9, 2008


Bah. This game is terribly unrealistic.

John Howard's smiling face intoning "well done, good and faithful servant" has been replaced in this artificial version by some sort of harangue about how I should love foreigners or something.
posted by koeselitz at 5:30 PM on February 9, 2008 [2 favorites]


So, anyone reach Easter Island yet? I keep seeing signs for it.

(current personal best, soon to change: 1672.3 km)
posted by flatluigi at 5:36 PM on February 9, 2008


It's all a matter of using the right words... don't call 'em Migrants , call 'em Illegals (whether they are or not) or Scottish Talk Show Hosts.
posted by wendell at 5:39 PM on February 9, 2008


Also: To whoever who was trying to tell people kicking out migrants is bad, you shouldn't have made this game so damn fun.
posted by flatluigi at 5:43 PM on February 9, 2008


They couldn't find any midget migrants?
posted by miss lynnster at 5:45 PM on February 9, 2008 [2 favorites]


Don't mention kicking migrants at your parole hearing.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:47 PM on February 9, 2008


I paid a Mexican to do this for me.
posted by DenOfSizer at 5:48 PM on February 9, 2008 [2 favorites]


1895.049 thanks to a whale blast that sent me flying up into space.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 5:53 PM on February 9, 2008


They couldn't find any midget migrants?

Sorry, aboriginals used the best projectiles long time ago.
posted by Free word order! at 5:55 PM on February 9, 2008


What, I can't kick out these migrants? Or these? Bah!

[NOT OLDUVAIGORGIST]
posted by hattifattener at 6:01 PM on February 9, 2008


Cheap shots like this only props up the false notion that racism is somehow endemic in Australia. It's bullshit.
posted by mattoxic at 6:04 PM on February 9, 2008


Hadrian's Wall was not intended to keep out immigrants, of course, but rather as a defensive measure against foreign incursions...

So it was built by the Scots then?..
posted by clevershark at 6:21 PM on February 9, 2008


mattoxic: I know it's only a small minority doing this kind of thing, but I was minding my own business on Australia Day, eating dinner at a sidewalk restaurant in Circular Quay, when a guy wearing an Australian flag as a cape threw a beer bottle at me. It was a glancing blow to the face, and I didn't end up going to hospital.

I'm an Aussie, but my parents were both born in Asia. I was completely minding my own business, just eating dinner.

The funny thing is, of all the people I've told, not one has expressed any surprise. Concern, sadness, resignation: sure; but not a single person has said, "I can't believe that happened".
posted by surenoproblem at 6:28 PM on February 9, 2008


My migrant got blown by a whale into space before returning to earth.
posted by 517 at 6:53 PM on February 9, 2008


surenoproblem,

I wonder if the racism that does seem to surface in Sydney has someting to do with Alan Jones, Stan Zemanek et al.

Melbourne fortunately does not have this type of radio, and it's a better place because of it.

I also think that Howards war or political correctness and his move to the right to take the One Nation vote has given voice to the Australian flag wearing yobs that you met on Australia day.

This was an interesting article
posted by mattoxic at 7:24 PM on February 9, 2008


Surenoproblem - I'm glad you're all right. That guy that assaulted you?

He's a dick.
posted by perilous at 7:35 PM on February 9, 2008


Oh my god! What have I done?
posted by subgear at 7:43 PM on February 9, 2008


"Letting the days go by..."
posted by jaronson at 8:31 PM on February 9, 2008


(water flowing underground)
posted by flatluigi at 8:36 PM on February 9, 2008


1,287,224 km. Which is odd, since the globe's circumference is ~ 40,000 km. I shotputted Mohammed around the globe thirty-two times., and an extra 7,224 km to boot -- enough distance to send him to, say, Hawaii, or Iraq. In any case, 1.2 gigameters. Suck it.
posted by boo_radley at 8:50 PM on February 9, 2008


boo_radley: "1,287,224 km. Which is odd, since the globe's circumference is ~ 40,000 km. I shotputted Mohammed around the globe thirty-two times., and an extra 7,224 km to boot -- enough distance to send him to, say, Hawaii, or Iraq. In any case, 1.2 gigameters. Suck it."

...

How the hell did you manage to do that?

I hate to say this, but pics or it didn't happen.
posted by flatluigi at 9:38 PM on February 9, 2008


you bounce your immigrant off of rocks, and rely on spumes to carry them back up. Get lucky, and you'll enter the outer atmosphere, and the sky turns black and starry.
posted by boo_radley at 10:13 PM on February 9, 2008


I can enter space at will, and my high score is 1846km, but I'm insanely jealous of boo_radley, and will probably be tossing unfortunate immigrants in perpetuity trying to get that effect.

Anyway, not enough easter eggs. Would it kill them to have a spaceship pick you up and carry you off to Venus once you reach deep space? Or for a whale to swallow you Jonah-style if you hit one just right?
posted by taz at 12:13 AM on February 10, 2008


Seriously, guys. Try Nanaca Crash.
posted by mr_roboto at 12:40 AM on February 10, 2008



1) So is it OK to be in favor of kicking out at least those immigrants with a negative net ec. impact?

2) All these fucking community heros. Make me look like an underachiever. Let's kick them.
posted by sour cream at 12:57 AM on February 10, 2008


The American version would be one of those tower defense games.
posted by sourwookie at 2:00 AM on February 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Legal migration often means there is great demand for some particular job, which is great. But it seems very unwise to grant immigrant status based upon non-nuclear family ties. Old people just don't adapt or integrate as well. So don't let people bring their parents over.

Some people also receive refugee status, which is fine if you wrote a book. But I don't really agree with granting refugee status if your not distinctive somehow. So being from some economically oppressed minority shouldn't ever qualify you. Otoh, if you were an activist for said minority over an extended period of time, and were singled out by said oppressors, then sure why not, you sound like an interesting person.

Another major problem is that integration isn't really being measured well. If people from your country are forming ghettos, not inter marrying with natives, etc., they really shouldn't add more f.o.b.s until the current ones have integrated.

I'd also like to see religious worker visas eliminated everywhere. You've always got existing migrants & their kids for this.

p.s. It's easy to control *illegal* migration, just control the number of work visas, as all nation do, *and* create stiff penalties for companies caught employing people illegally.
posted by jeffburdges at 2:14 AM on February 10, 2008


boo_radley: 1,287,224 km.

Don't want to piss on the bonfire here, but are you sure it wasn't 1,287.224?
posted by Burger-Eating Invasion Monkey at 6:28 AM on February 10, 2008


I paid a Mexican to do this for me.
posted by DenOfSizer

that's what your wife said.
posted by micayetoca at 7:03 AM on February 10, 2008


Don't want to piss on the bonfire here, but are you sure it wasn't 1,287.224

That's what I'm thinking too since he didn't give a .xxx after his score. No matter how high the number goes, there's a decimal point with numbers after it. Why didn't he give that part of the score? I think because he mistook the decimal point for a comma.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 12:11 PM on February 10, 2008


When I went back to the game, my best score was still there. He should take a screen shot.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 12:12 PM on February 10, 2008


THROUGH
...and RUN!!
posted by klue at 1:46 PM on February 10, 2008


That music is fucking obnoxious. What the hell is that?

[someone whispers in Zach's ear that it's Australia's national anthem]

Oh. Well. That was awesome and fantastic and everything! You guys rule!

Still I gotta reinforce what others have said before me. Nanaca Crash was before and better. And it didn't ruin the fun by trying to make a political statement. In fact, if Nanaca Crash makes any statement at all it's completely oblivious to me cuz I don't speak chinese.

[someone whispers in Zach's ear that it's actually japanese]

...dammit.
posted by ZachsMind at 3:15 PM on February 10, 2008


A thing of rare beauty. Superb find.
posted by fourcheesemac at 6:27 PM on February 10, 2008


1,287 km it is. Nanaca crash is still better. :colbert:
posted by boo_radley at 8:43 PM on February 10, 2008


Does "kick" turn to "throw" in the southern hemisphere. It's like how the toilet flushes in reverse and dolphins speak in Spanish, not English.
posted by 80onelove at 11:27 PM on February 10, 2008


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