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February 27, 2008 8:00 PM Subscribe
How To Start Your Own Country In Four Easy Steps. You’ve picked out a flag, written a national anthem, even printed up money with your face on it. But what’s the next step?
Now wait just a minute! I know some of that clubbing baby seals business is pretty rough and all, but I've known some furriers, and they're some of the warmest, friendliest, most caring people I've ever --
what?
Oh. Right. Furriners.
Yeah, go ahead and shoot 'em.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:43 PM on February 27, 2008
what?
Oh. Right. Furriners.
Yeah, go ahead and shoot 'em.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:43 PM on February 27, 2008
No, you can't shoot them. Who will be the scapegoats for all of our new country's ills and woes?
posted by Razzle Bathbone at 8:53 PM on February 27, 2008
posted by Razzle Bathbone at 8:53 PM on February 27, 2008
I am a peace-loving state.
posted by not_on_display at 8:54 PM on February 27, 2008
posted by not_on_display at 8:54 PM on February 27, 2008
The problem is, creating your own country produces even more furriners. It's a vicious cycle.
posted by Jimbob at 8:55 PM on February 27, 2008
posted by Jimbob at 8:55 PM on February 27, 2008
As a passport-carrying citizen of the Conch Republic (so far good in Bahamas, Cuba, Mexico, France, and Canada) all I have to say is where others failed....we seceded.
posted by humannaire at 9:04 PM on February 27, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by humannaire at 9:04 PM on February 27, 2008 [2 favorites]
I know some of that clubbing baby seals business is pretty rough and all
you don't know have of it - they not only shit on the disco floor but they leave their condoms there too
posted by pyramid termite at 9:05 PM on February 27, 2008
you don't know have of it - they not only shit on the disco floor but they leave their condoms there too
posted by pyramid termite at 9:05 PM on February 27, 2008
half of it - oh, hell, i've never been the same since we had waterboards of canada for guest djs - i never knew it was possible to have that much ice shoved up one's nose
posted by pyramid termite at 9:07 PM on February 27, 2008
posted by pyramid termite at 9:07 PM on February 27, 2008
Hutt River Provence, not far from where I live, is Australia's most oldskool oldest independent nation. Prince Leonard - the lovebale crazy old coot - takes it pretty seriously. It has stamps and an Army and a Navy and a Military College and lots of cool crests and stuff.
It is perhaps of interest to note, that Western Australia was actually never proclaimed by Captain Stirling as British Territory, as was required of him under his Letter Patent.
He only Proclaimed a Settlement (the Swan Settlement) in Western Australia.
Woah! Never knew that. He has the L-A-W on his side.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 9:10 PM on February 27, 2008
It is perhaps of interest to note, that Western Australia was actually never proclaimed by Captain Stirling as British Territory, as was required of him under his Letter Patent.
He only Proclaimed a Settlement (the Swan Settlement) in Western Australia.
Woah! Never knew that. He has the L-A-W on his side.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 9:10 PM on February 27, 2008
Citizens! It has come to our attention that baby seal operatives under the influence of the Conch Republic have been spreading dissent in our nation!
To combat this, all baby seals will be summarily executed, and all men of all ages are hereby drafted to be sent on leaky boats to wage war on Conch.
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:11 PM on February 27, 2008
To combat this, all baby seals will be summarily executed, and all men of all ages are hereby drafted to be sent on leaky boats to wage war on Conch.
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:11 PM on February 27, 2008
Why not try this helpful DVD. Here's a clip where he took over an island by the time honored tradition of Invasion.
I found the whole series pretty funny.
posted by Wink Ricketts at 9:16 PM on February 27, 2008
I found the whole series pretty funny.
posted by Wink Ricketts at 9:16 PM on February 27, 2008
Your mum is in France.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 9:24 PM on February 27, 2008
posted by uncanny hengeman at 9:24 PM on February 27, 2008
I started my own nation... then everybody else called ME a furriner... AAARRRGGGHHHH....
posted by wendell at 9:27 PM on February 27, 2008
posted by wendell at 9:27 PM on February 27, 2008
well, you can become a lord/lady of sealand for £16.00 which is kind of neat.
posted by fuzzypantalones at 9:31 PM on February 27, 2008
posted by fuzzypantalones at 9:31 PM on February 27, 2008
So, what's your country called, uncanny hengeman?
Nonsequiturbia?
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:31 PM on February 27, 2008
Nonsequiturbia?
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:31 PM on February 27, 2008
Step three - and in affirmation, not negation - is probably the toughest but most important. It's all fun and games until Tonga invades and monarchists hold a coup.
posted by The Bridge on the River Kai Ryssdal at 9:39 PM on February 27, 2008
posted by The Bridge on the River Kai Ryssdal at 9:39 PM on February 27, 2008
Mum jokes are funny when they mek no sense and they are not rude. I'm sure you'll agree, UbuRoivas. ;)
posted by uncanny hengeman at 9:45 PM on February 27, 2008
posted by uncanny hengeman at 9:45 PM on February 27, 2008
But what’s the next step?
Profit?
posted by doctor_negative at 9:51 PM on February 27, 2008 [1 favorite]
Profit?
posted by doctor_negative at 9:51 PM on February 27, 2008 [1 favorite]
True. Here's my favourite:
Ubu: My mum has no nose
Uncanny: How does she smell?
Ubu: Oh, about a quarter past six.
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:53 PM on February 27, 2008 [1 favorite]
Ubu: My mum has no nose
Uncanny: How does she smell?
Ubu: Oh, about a quarter past six.
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:53 PM on February 27, 2008 [1 favorite]
Step 5: Make up myths about your heroic ancestors.
posted by jason's_planet at 9:58 PM on February 27, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by jason's_planet at 9:58 PM on February 27, 2008 [1 favorite]
From the discussion tab on the above Wiki link:
...there are govt letters, linked here, that indicate the Australian govt seemed to have doubts about whether he can be taxed or not.
And the fact is, he does sovereign activity and remains untouched by the government, including issueing company registrations and selling coinage which would get any other citizen tossed in jail by ASIC (the Australian Corporate Regulatory body) or ACCC (the Australian Consumer regulatory and enforcement body) in no time at all.
There's a bit more to this than just a joke. What the full story is anyone's guess. Here is a link to the letter where the govt seems to indicate HRPs claims have some grounds. See for yourself, unless this is a forgery.
http://www.brumbywatchaustralia.com/AUSTEO_SECRET.gif
Go Prince Leonard!
posted by uncanny hengeman at 10:07 PM on February 27, 2008
...there are govt letters, linked here, that indicate the Australian govt seemed to have doubts about whether he can be taxed or not.
And the fact is, he does sovereign activity and remains untouched by the government, including issueing company registrations and selling coinage which would get any other citizen tossed in jail by ASIC (the Australian Corporate Regulatory body) or ACCC (the Australian Consumer regulatory and enforcement body) in no time at all.
There's a bit more to this than just a joke. What the full story is anyone's guess. Here is a link to the letter where the govt seems to indicate HRPs claims have some grounds. See for yourself, unless this is a forgery.
http://www.brumbywatchaustralia.com/AUSTEO_SECRET.gif
Go Prince Leonard!
posted by uncanny hengeman at 10:07 PM on February 27, 2008
Profit?
No, that's the one after. This one is always ????
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:13 PM on February 27, 2008
No, that's the one after. This one is always ????
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:13 PM on February 27, 2008
The letter is interesting, uncanny, but the spelling mistakes and strange grammar concern me a little bit.
posted by Jimbob at 10:37 PM on February 27, 2008
posted by Jimbob at 10:37 PM on February 27, 2008
Yeah, the poster covered his ass nicely [note to self: add "unless this is a forgery" to all future links]. Plus the ATO (like the IRS, I'd guess) are hard core mofos when it comes to collecting tax.
Brass balls too. Remember when they recently retrospectively changed a ruling and hit peeps up for the money. Cheeky mongrels!
So I'm with you on that call, JimBob, on the balance of evidence and prior form.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 11:42 PM on February 27, 2008
Brass balls too. Remember when they recently retrospectively changed a ruling and hit peeps up for the money. Cheeky mongrels!
So I'm with you on that call, JimBob, on the balance of evidence and prior form.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 11:42 PM on February 27, 2008
When does the need for real estate enter this picture? It is tough to have a country with out some country.
posted by Cranberry at 11:48 PM on February 27, 2008
posted by Cranberry at 11:48 PM on February 27, 2008
Don't get caught without your flag when those furriners arrive - Eddie knows
posted by surfdad at 2:11 AM on February 28, 2008
posted by surfdad at 2:11 AM on February 28, 2008
Re: Hutt River.
...there are govt letters, linked here, that indicate the Australian govt seemed to have doubts about whether he can be taxed or not.
A reliable but confidential informant has told me that Hutt River definitely pays taxes. They can bluster and shake their fist all they want in public, but behind the scenes, they don't mess with the ATO.
posted by outlier at 6:06 AM on February 28, 2008
...there are govt letters, linked here, that indicate the Australian govt seemed to have doubts about whether he can be taxed or not.
A reliable but confidential informant has told me that Hutt River definitely pays taxes. They can bluster and shake their fist all they want in public, but behind the scenes, they don't mess with the ATO.
posted by outlier at 6:06 AM on February 28, 2008
uncanny hengeman: Remember when they recently retrospectively changed a ruling and hit peeps up for the money. Cheeky mongrels!
so, like, they thought about it a lot first before changing the law?
posted by xbonesgt at 6:52 AM on February 28, 2008
so, like, they thought about it a lot first before changing the law?
posted by xbonesgt at 6:52 AM on February 28, 2008
But why? Why do they still call me a warlord? And 'mad'??
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 9:16 AM on February 28, 2008
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 9:16 AM on February 28, 2008
so, like, they thought about it a lot first before changing the law?
Is that a joke, or are you getting "introspective" mixed up with "retrospective"? Or am I?
I think it was investments in timber plantations.
[Tax advisors] Yo! ATO. Can my client claim this as a tax deduction?
[ATO] Sure!
LATER, AFTER PEEPS HAD PILED HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF THEIR HARD EARNED INTO PLANTATIONS...
[ATO] Erm. We've changed our minds and we are going to enforce our new ruling as of negative two years ago SHOW ME THE FREAKIN' MONEY!
Like I said. Brassy.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 2:00 PM on February 28, 2008
Is that a joke, or are you getting "introspective" mixed up with "retrospective"? Or am I?
I think it was investments in timber plantations.
[Tax advisors] Yo! ATO. Can my client claim this as a tax deduction?
[ATO] Sure!
LATER, AFTER PEEPS HAD PILED HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF THEIR HARD EARNED INTO PLANTATIONS...
[ATO] Erm. We've changed our minds and we are going to enforce our new ruling as of negative two years ago SHOW ME THE FREAKIN' MONEY!
Like I said. Brassy.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 2:00 PM on February 28, 2008
They wouldn't dare do this with the Big End of town. Like family trusts and other rorts that Old Money get into.
IIRC, it was mostly Joe Punter and a lot of miners who had some spare cash due to the mining boom and the extra wages they suddenly found themselves earning.
/derial
//GYOFB
posted by uncanny hengeman at 2:04 PM on February 28, 2008
IIRC, it was mostly Joe Punter and a lot of miners who had some spare cash due to the mining boom and the extra wages they suddenly found themselves earning.
/derial
//GYOFB
posted by uncanny hengeman at 2:04 PM on February 28, 2008
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posted by tellurian at 8:15 PM on February 27, 2008