Host an orgy.

April 12, 2001 11:37 AM

Host an orgy. Something of a twist on a murder mystery dinner.
posted by owillis (12 comments total)

It's a good idea, but how do you deal with the problem of late comers.

OOooOoHah! I kill myself. Late comers! Oh man, too much.

Hullo?
posted by Outlawyr at 11:42 AM on April 12, 2001

This certainly beats my idea of greeting cards that read simply "BABY LET'S FUCK!"

This is very funny. Now I will oscillate between insistent despair over never getting invited to one and creeping dread that I will one day actually get invited to one.
posted by Skot at 11:48 AM on April 12, 2001

When I was a freshman in community college (actually a 17-year-old skipping his senior year), I was sitting in the cafe with other students when one of the guidance counselors (!) propositioned a student, making it very clear that he and his wife hosted "parties". There was this odd moment where everyone at the table was dead silent, exchanging glances, then a deliberate and hasty departure. Except me. I was dumb. Somebody came back and grabbed me by the collar. Just like a cartoon.

Then there was a supposed bacchanalia held at my four-year college by one of the science profs, who felt the campus was getting "too conservative". Accounts of the event varied wildly, but it did seem to include the crowning of a king and queen, quite a bit of nudity, and optional privacy.

There was the, uh, quadruple date held in someone's dark dorm room to the light of a porn movie. But that was just a lot of heavy petting, so I'm not sure it counts.
posted by dhartung at 12:08 PM on April 12, 2001

Outlawyer, Mel Brooks solved that problem in History of the World, Part I. At the orgy that Hugh Hefner hosted, they posted a banner that said "First Served, First Come." More here.
posted by darren at 12:19 PM on April 12, 2001

From the FAQ:

Is hosting an orgy party a huge time commitment?

Depending on which party you choose the amount of effort varies.

Uhm, no comment.
posted by gramcracker at 1:12 PM on April 12, 2001

Casual sex with many multiple partners is fine. But this role playing stuff.. it divorces you from reality.. look at Columbine.
posted by stbalbach at 1:15 PM on April 12, 2001

Aww, this is Way safer than Columbine, stbalbach; I mean, with these, how many shots can somebody get off in a matter of a few hours..? *Rim shot*

I know. I'm bad. Hurt me..
posted by Perigee at 1:36 PM on April 12, 2001

Plus where would someone conceal the weapon? ;)
posted by terrapin at 1:51 PM on April 12, 2001

I love this: "Romans were purveyors of good food, fine drink and undeniably interesting sex. They were masters of culture and redefined how to wear a sheet."

I think that should be the slogan of our new classics department.
posted by dagnyscott at 2:19 PM on April 12, 2001

I remember when some number of years ago, a married pair of professors at NYU published a book called Open Marriage, in which they raved about the healthy nature of having sex outside on'es marriage and learning to do away with jealousy and having variety too. Their notion was that if one became attracted to one of the "outsiders," so be it; that's life. But overall, chances are a much improved marriage. The book was a very big seller.

Some few years later the couple divorced. Always inventive, the now divorced guy wrote another book in which he warned of the dangers of not remaining faithful. I believe their names were O'Neil.

Well at least he got two books out of it. Others might merely get diseases.
posted by Postroad at 2:23 PM on April 12, 2001

Q: Why don't members of the Junior League go to orgies?

A: Writing all the thank-you notes is murder.
posted by anapestic at 3:52 PM on April 12, 2001

Well, Fred, the book Open Marriage by George and Nena O'Neill is easily enough found, but no books match the second you described.

Anyway, Postroad, the polyamory philosophy has moved well beyond quaint concepts of "swinging".
posted by dhartung at 4:22 PM on April 12, 2001