Fade to black, holding the Democrat lever
March 4, 2008 3:53 PM   Subscribe

Pretty much mirrors my political progress.

It is a hot time in TEXAS tonight, folks!
posted by Senator at 4:01 PM on March 4, 2008

posted by Sys Rq at 4:10 PM on March 4, 2008

Political blogging has jumped the shark. Again.
posted by brain_drain at 4:14 PM on March 4, 2008

Is abolishing the Capital Gains Tax something I'd have to have two fucking cents to rub together to care about?
posted by maxwelton at 4:24 PM on March 4, 2008 [4 favorites]

Fun article. Good post, bicyclefish.
posted by sveskemus at 4:28 PM on March 4, 2008

If we're asking how imaginary characters would vote, I'd like to know to whom Gilligan casts his ballot.
posted by Astro Zombie at 4:30 PM on March 4, 2008

Alex would vote for himself. He'd have easily put together his national campaign by now.

Keaton/McCain '08 - Like the last administration, only smart.
posted by effwerd at 4:46 PM on March 4, 2008

How 'bout we replace the remainder of the Bush administration with a clip show?
posted by Wolfdog at 4:51 PM on March 4, 2008

By which I just mean please god don't make any new epsiodes
posted by Wolfdog at 4:52 PM on March 4, 2008

How would Blair Warner vote? How would Webster Long vote? How would Mike Seaver vote?

Essentially, this is a guy with way too much time on his hands.
posted by blucevalo at 5:11 PM on March 4, 2008

"If we're asking how imaginary characters would vote, I'd like to know to whom Gilligan casts his ballot."

The Professor voted against the war with the natives, but Ginger's got a more comprehensive healthcare plan.
posted by klangklangston at 5:14 PM on March 4, 2008 [1 favorite]

Who you votin' for, Willis?
posted by Sys Rq at 5:21 PM on March 4, 2008

Wat'chu bloggin' about, Willis? (Just in time for National Grammar Day)
posted by ericbop at 5:23 PM on March 4, 2008

I'd like to know to whom Gilligan casts his ballot.

Huckabee. It was supposed to be a three-hour tour, but it went on for a lot longer...
posted by crossoverman at 5:33 PM on March 4, 2008

blucevalo writes "How would Webster Long vote?"

He would vote for Kucinich or Ron Paul.
posted by krinklyfig at 5:35 PM on March 4, 2008

Coach from Cheers would vote for Gravel. Sam Malone would vote for Romney. Diane would vote for Clinton, obviously. Norm would vote for McCain. Cliff is a Huckabee guy. Rebecca ... hell, I dunno. She doesn't vote. Frasier's a Clinton voter, and so is Lilith. Boyd is either Obama or Ron Paul. Carla's maybe a Gravel supporter, maybe Ron Paul.

OK, now I have officially spent way too much time thinking about this ...
posted by krinklyfig at 5:42 PM on March 4, 2008 [1 favorite]

Alex P. Keaton can eat my shorts. All those rich young republican fools became democrats. didn't you get the memo? the democrats are now the party of the rich. the republicans are the party of the bitter and disenfranchised. only the really dumb, and super selfish, rich people are still republicans. the rest don't care if more of their taxes go to help poor people. it helps assuage their guilt for being wealthy.
posted by caddis at 5:43 PM on March 4, 2008 [1 favorite]

Needless to say, Lila, Douglas, and Jason are all casting write-in votes for Charles.

I remember not really liking Family Ties all that much as a kid; I think I was a little too young to really appreciate what was going on with the show. But I thought the Alex Keaton character was kind of interesting, and the show had some weird affecting moments that I can remember that I get the feeling were a lot more solid and genuine in fact (and not just in hazy childhood memory) than stuff like Family Matters ever managed, no matter how Very Special the episode.

I find the question of who Alex would vote for a lot more interesting than I would for almost any other sitcom character I can think of.

I also thought that Mallory was really, really cute and I didn't understand what she saw in Nick even if he was arguably kind of a cool guy.
posted by cortex at 5:45 PM on March 4, 2008

krinklyfig writes "Frasier's a Clinton voter, and so is Lilith."

I'll amend this - Frasier was an Edwards supporter until he dropped out; now he's for Clinton. Also because Lilith browbeat him into it.

OK, this is just getting silly.
posted by krinklyfig at 5:55 PM on March 4, 2008

This is all nonsense and it distracts from the real issues. Like who MacGyver would vote for.
posted by brundlefly at 5:59 PM on March 4, 2008

MacGuyver wouldn't be voting for anyone; he'd be counter-hacking the Diebold machines to reverse the rigged votes for the bad guy, as an epic metavote against.
posted by cortex at 6:17 PM on March 4, 2008

The real question is "Who would Alex Keaton give rides on his corporate jet too?"

Also Micheal J. Fox is awesome.
posted by afu at 6:29 PM on March 4, 2008

Alex was smart, conservative, Nixon and Reagan admirer, however I don't understand how he ever consented to be Mallory's brother.
posted by brickman at 6:43 PM on March 4, 2008

What I want to know is who the individual members of the A-Team would vote for. My guess:

Hannibal - John McCain
Murdock - Ron Paul
Face - Hillary Clinton
B.A. - AIN'T VOTIN' FOR NONE O' THEM FOOLS, SUCKA! (or perhaps a write-in vote for Richard Roundtree)
posted by DecemberBoy at 6:50 PM on March 4, 2008

Murdock seems more like a Kucinich guy to me. Also, Hannibal would be a conservative talkradio jockey, post-pardon.
posted by cortex at 6:54 PM on March 4, 2008 [1 favorite]

Who would Punky Brewster vote for? How about Gary Gnu?
posted by oddman at 7:17 PM on March 4, 2008

I loved Family Ties but I'd be more curious to know who Skippy voted for. Or drunk Tom Hanks.

Alex is a no brainer. Mitt Romney, then McCain.
posted by mrgrimm at 7:19 PM on March 4, 2008

"Frasier's a Clinton voter,"

Frasier's a Republican, despite being an effete weenie. Niles would probably vote for Clinton, however.
posted by klangklangston at 7:22 PM on March 4, 2008

Murdock seems more like a Kucinich guy to me.

Nah, I can easily see him endlessly bugging the other guys about what Dr. Paul will do for America, until B.A. tells him to quit his jibber jabber before he shows him what Dr. Baracus will do to his fool head.
posted by DecemberBoy at 7:32 PM on March 4, 2008 [1 favorite]

I concede the point.
posted by cortex at 7:35 PM on March 4, 2008

I would never have known from this post or the comments that the author was one of the writers for Family Ties. So maybe still not FPP-worthy, but don't dump on the guy like he's some random schmoe writing fan-fic.

I think Alex would be a (lower-case L) libertarian. I say this only having ever heard about the character second-hand. I was, oddly enough, just remarking to friends this weekend that I don't think I've ever seen an episode of Family Ties.
posted by Eideteker at 8:18 PM on March 4, 2008

Frasier's a Republican

Nooooo, no no no. On one episode of Frasier, he and Niles campaign for a very liberal candidate for governor, against his dad's support for the tough-on-crime, gun-toting Republican incumbent.
posted by papakwanz at 9:10 PM on March 4, 2008

"I'd like to know to whom Gilligan casts his ballot."

C'mon, Astro Zombie, that's a softball - Ted Stevens, write in. $398 million bridge that gets canceled just before it's built to reach those folks on the island.

I don't know what y'all are talking about with misgivings on fictional characters voting - a real person posted this:

"Because Alex Keaton, who has Parkinson’s, appreciates science, he’s somewhat sad that he can’t vote for Hillary Clinton. But what could science finally mean to a woman who 1) took the word of an idiot president and ended up with 4,000 dead soldiers in her lap and 2) believes she should get a prize for that?

Alex can’t vote for Barack Obama, because Obama shows no indication of being insulted by what Hillary did to those 4,000 soldiers-citizens, and there’s no reason to believe Obama will ever care about anyone, especially “the little guy,” more than, or before, he cares about himself.

That leaves John McCain. It certainly isn’t a fault of McCain that he’s the age that he is. And McCain’s experience at being a POW makes him first a victim, like all the rest of the POWs, or like Holocaust victims, Israelis. Who is to say of a person like that (and aside from any personal desire that the person might have to be president) that his very existence doesn’t celebrate human integrity and the ability to survive, and that things are not organized correctly in his brain?"

I mean hell, the difference between reality and fiction is that fiction has to make some kind of sense.
posted by Smedleyman at 9:42 PM on March 4, 2008

Why do all our heroes have to be fictional?
posted by blue_beetle at 7:57 AM on March 5, 2008

Why do all our heroes have to be fictional?

Because they shoot the real ones. Lennon, Bobby, Martin, John, Malcom, Ronnie. They even took potshots at Ford.

I imagine that Alex Keaton would have taken that lever in a rather shakey hand and voted for no one, since none of the current crop of candidates would be able to stand up to his scrutiny. Alex was a lot smarter than most of the electorate. He'd be asking real questions, and still be waiting for real answers. He'd see through the calls for change and 3:00AM phone calls. In fact , I just realized there is one person he would vote for: McCain. Because he's been there, he's real, and he, like Alex is a man of action not words.
posted by Gungho at 8:15 AM on March 5, 2008

Who would Mike Seaver vote for? And what about Boner? Stinky?
posted by Sys Rq at 8:39 AM on March 5, 2008

For whom would Vicky, the little girl robot from Small Wonder, vote? That's what I want to know. She's probably the only one we can really count on to be rational. Although she did wear the same stupid ruffled fifties-retro dress every single day as a way to convince the neighbours that she was real, so maybe her rationality isn't the most nuanced.
posted by orange swan at 10:44 AM on March 5, 2008

What kind of freak builds a little girl robot??? At least Astro Boy had rocket-feet and a basis in Italian folklore; Vicky was just an eight-year-old fembot in a french maid's uniform. Man, the eighties were fucked up.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:03 AM on March 5, 2008

I'd be interested in knowing who John Locke would vote for.

And I mean the philosopher, not the bald guy on the island.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:44 PM on March 5, 2008

Michael: Obama
Gob: Huckabee
Lindsay: Kucinich
Tobias: Romney
Buster: Clinton
Mom: Clinton
Dad: McCain
George-Michael: Biden
Maeby: Edwards

If somebody wanted to throw something together for The Wire, I'd be much obliged.
posted by box at 12:52 PM on March 5, 2008

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