Reparations for Dixie?!
April 14, 2001 7:35 PM   Subscribe

Reparations for Dixie?! A Southern nationalist group is demanding reparations for "atrocities" committed against Southerners during the Civil War.
posted by brantstrand (21 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I would settle for all the Yankees moving back home.

Only Kidding!!!!!!
posted by bunnyfire at 7:47 PM on April 14, 2001

Just in case someone thinks trolling is something that only happens on the internet.
posted by rodii at 7:55 PM on April 14, 2001

Can I get reparations for being raised in a state that's culturally flat, lacks opportunities and dearly wishes it could've been part of Dixie?

And to think there are really political parties formed by such right-wing and separationist wingnuts.
posted by salsamander at 8:20 PM on April 14, 2001

My first reaction was "what, again?"

salsamander: You live in eastern Washington too? *grin*
posted by NsJen at 8:29 PM on April 14, 2001

Only when the rest of us get reparations for stock car racing, Jeff Foxworthy, the Atlanta Braves, and country music. Make the check out to me, and I'll kick in the Yankees (Go Orioles! Yeah, right.)
posted by owillis at 9:36 PM on April 14, 2001

I demand reparations for the fact that the village of my ancestors was burned to the ground in 735AD by a rival village. Since none of you sent money to help in the rebuilding process, you are all guilty by association.

With interest, I calculate that the entire planet owes me (the only remaining descendant of that village) approximately thirteen hundred billion dollars.

Failure to pay immediately will result in extensive taunting, and cries of "bigoted pigs!" until you submit.

Thank you. With your money, I can finally recover from the emotional damage caused by this horrible atrocity that happened over a thousand years before I was born.
posted by aramaic at 10:35 PM on April 14, 2001

Towards the end of the article they mention that the founder of the League of the South teaches at Stillman. What????
posted by rdr at 10:46 PM on April 14, 2001

Whole damn world's turning into an Onion story.

The League of the South webpage is ... well, I think Bo Hazzard designed it in his spare time. Turn your volume down. The press release. You can get printable or online versions of the reparations petition.

They also have some charming corollaries, such as Stop the ethnic cleansing of True Southerners. Hey, way to dilute the meaning of the words there, comparing changing 1/4 of the state flag to having your family shot and buried in a field.
posted by dhartung at 10:49 PM on April 14, 2001

rdr: The founder of the League was a history professor at Stillman, or rather was when he founded the League. I'm in Tuscaloosa. Don't know what else to tell you other than that for years after its founding, the League was pretty freakin' marginal. Well, it's marginal now, but was . . . oh, marginal marginal for the longest time, more an exercise in insane academic abstraction than anything else. Now it's simply insane, though still engaged in a sort of abstraction.
posted by raysmj at 11:05 PM on April 14, 2001

dhartung: Do you mean Bo Duke, from Hazzard County?

"Bo Hazzard"... sheesh... don't even bother. :)
posted by techgnollogic at 11:11 PM on April 14, 2001

I think Tunisia should sue Italy for the destruction of Carthage. Or maybe the time has come to actually put into practice the fateful words of Dick the Butcher: "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."
posted by Steven Den Beste at 12:07 AM on April 15, 2001

Hopefully the money that Southern nationalist group recovers from this suit will be put aside to pay restituion to descendants of their slaves... 'cause you know that'll be the next lawsuit.

Methinks Pandora's Box is about to be opened when people sue over the distant past.
posted by EricBrooksDotCom at 12:56 AM on April 15, 2001

Maybe I should *read* an article before commenting:
Jack Kershaw, the league's legal counsel, said African-Americans will be paid as well as part of the league's proposal -- not for being enslaved but for enduring an end to slavery.

"Blacks were better off in antebellum times in the South than they were anywhere else," Kershaw said. "They lost a lot too when that lifestyle was destroyed."

Aw jeez!!!!!!
posted by EricBrooksDotCom at 1:00 AM on April 15, 2001

"Devil Sues God, Says 'Evil' is Inaccurate Description of Activities"

"Quartet of Animals Sues Noah for Illegal Imprisonment"

"Goliath Sues David for Assault, Says He 'Just Wanted to Go Out for a Beer' "
posted by owillis at 1:03 AM on April 15, 2001

All this reminds me of the guy who sued himself. I saw an article about it around ten years ago in the San Jose Mercury News. The guy claimed that he had messed up his own life. Turns out that if he won, his insurance company would have been forced to pay. I think they threw it out as "frivolous." Poor guy. There is no justice. He should boycott himself.
posted by hwright at 2:14 AM on April 15, 2001

The attempt to make some news by this group and the funny stuff such things elicit beget chortles, for sure, but to be serious (I promise not for long), if there is an American group deserving of reparations and thus far neglected, it is the native Americans, esp those who chose years ago not to integrate into white mainstream society but to retain tribal identity and thus get put into concentration camps called reservations.
posted by Postroad at 4:00 AM on April 15, 2001

I thought "reparations" were something sought by victors demanded from the vanquished.
posted by lagado at 4:25 AM on April 15, 2001

I thought "reparations" were something sought by victors from the vanquished.
posted by lagado at 4:26 AM on April 15, 2001

"south gonna rise again for all you billy yanks china gonna blow you up and that well form anew nation the new confederate state on america except well have all of them rename them after some of our ancisters "

--Eloquent words from an ethnic-cleasing petition signer. :)
posted by rodii at 7:20 AM on April 15, 2001

Not to be too cynical, but there is a reparations program for Native Americans. It's called a casino.

techgno -- well, hey, I allowed as how they could be New South techies nowadays. I thought that was being nice. ;-)
posted by dhartung at 11:06 AM on April 15, 2001

Way down sout, in de lan' o cotton,
Ole times dere are not forgotten;
Make 'em pay!
Make 'em pay!
Make 'em pay, Dixie Land!

In Dixie Land, where dey had sworn dey'd
Die befo' de darky's scorn
Make 'em pay!
Make 'em pay!
Make 'em pay, Dixie Land!

Away down sout in Dixie
In Dixie Land
They'll take the stand
And make 'em pay for Disney
Oi Vey!
Oi Vey!
Oi Vey them rebs in Dixie!

Thank you, thank you...
posted by resigned at 1:23 AM on April 16, 2001

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