"To say that I am a patient man would be an understatement."
March 24, 2008 5:38 AM   Subscribe

Seventeen years Steve Feltham sold up everything, bought an old mobile library van and parked up alongside Loch Ness to look for Nessie... He's still there.
posted by fearfulsymmetry (20 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
Well, he's following his dream. And I have to admit, it would be pretty sweet living in a van, DOWN BY THE RIVERat Loch Ness.

I'm having trouble believing that those dorky figurines would buy an ultralight, though.

And maybe this reveals that I am not a patient man, but I wouldn't be content to just stand on the shore with binoculars. I'd have a different crazy scheme every month. Drain the loch! Drop in a thousand wireless webcams (in plastic baggies)! Pretend to be different kinds of monster prey! Send out fake mating calls! And so forth.
posted by DU at 5:58 AM on March 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

posted by dirtdirt at 6:11 AM on March 24, 2008

Is he that guy in that commercial where the Loch Ness monster eats and then spits out that truck? What? No? Oh.
posted by papercake at 6:18 AM on March 24, 2008

However, by 1987, when I was 24, I had a house and a steady girlfriend, and when it was suggested that I join my father setting up a company installing burglar alarms, I jumped at the chance to make some serious money. Pretty soon, I realised I was in the wrong job, but the thing that got to me most while working in people's homes was the number of retired folk who would say, "Oh, I wish I'd gone and lived in America when I was your age", or climbed Mount Everest, or whatever. What would I regret not having done when I reached 70?

It was obvious: I knew where I was at my happiest, and what I was most interested in. So I quit the relationship, and put the house on the market.

I would have liked to have been a fly on the wall when he broke the news to his girlfriend. Being left for another woman is one thing, but being left for an imaginary lake monster, well that's gotta leave a girl feeling pretty confused.
posted by three blind mice at 6:28 AM on March 24, 2008 [8 favorites]

"Baby, I love you, and that will never change. But this is what I have to do. I... I love monster hunting more."
posted by Tehanu at 6:37 AM on March 24, 2008

We used to have parties at Dores beach and trust me, this guy has it made. He has one of he best views in the Highlands and access to gallons of good malts at the Inn next door.

Nessie hunting? Not so much.
posted by brautigan at 6:42 AM on March 24, 2008

Yeah, he seems to love living on the shore of the loch more than actual monster hunting.

Also: Nessie figurines!
posted by Tehanu at 6:47 AM on March 24, 2008

The Loch Ness Monster has found us, anyway.
posted by Tehanu at 7:16 AM on March 24, 2008

Brandy you're a fine girl, what a good wife you would be, but my life, my love and my lady is Nessie.
posted by ND¢ at 7:17 AM on March 24, 2008 [6 favorites]

We've met the Loch Ness Monster and he is us.
posted by horsemuth at 7:23 AM on March 24, 2008

Can someone put the missing "ago" in the post. I thought the dude was seventeen years old for a moment and didn't see the big deal.
posted by dabitch at 7:43 AM on March 24, 2008

The world is so full of interesting people. I wish I was following my dreams and stuff. I have to come up with a dream first, I guess. I'm jealous.

And also "It's not you. It's Nessie," has to be the best break-up line ever.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 8:08 AM on March 24, 2008

"It's not you. It's Nessie," "oh, and also, I'm gay"
posted by fuzzypantalones at 8:19 AM on March 24, 2008

We have our own Mysterious Lake Monster here in Seattle.
posted by Tube at 10:10 AM on March 24, 2008

As a recent college grad, I've had the displeasure of what seems like an endless amount of interviews the past few months, whether for jobs or awards, all of which have ended in rejection. I frequently emerge from these interviews feeling good about them but they always end up going with someone else. So I've decided, the next time somebody asks me what my long term career goals are, I'm just going to respond with "dedicate my life to finding the Loch Ness Monster." I mean, fuck it.
posted by thebellafonte at 10:17 AM on March 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

He should camp out by quonsar's pants.
posted by not_on_display at 11:01 AM on March 24, 2008

Nessie, come up, I'm waiting...
I've waited for you so long.
If you exist come out of the mist
and prove that the doubters are wrong.
Awake from your sleep, rise out of the deep;
my faith and belief are strong.
Ah, Nessie, I've waited so, waited so, waited so,
Nessie, I've waited so long.
posted by Zed_Lopez at 12:18 PM on March 24, 2008

If anyone else is interested in this, I have a bookmobile for sale.
posted by bradth27 at 8:07 PM on March 24, 2008

I reckon this one is the best film about Steve Feltham. A quiet wistful little fim which lets him do the talking. It's obvious he likes the idea of being "the monster hunter" more than any actual monster hunting.

The same director has also made a wonderful film about the relationship between two autograph hunters
posted by Mellon Udrigle at 5:22 AM on March 27, 2008

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