Where are my fucking mushrooms?!
March 25, 2008 10:59 AM Subscribe
You've seen Fast Food vs. Reality. Now witness the power of German ingenuity in the science of Photographing Food..
(Second Link is an easier to read link from Pundo3000, the perpetrators of this food taxonomy)
(Second Link is an easier to read link from Pundo3000, the perpetrators of this food taxonomy)
Retry. It seems to be a bit honked.
I clicked twice and it worked the second time.
Can a mod person set the main link to Pundo3000, or nuke the post? I think the mirror site is having difficulties...
posted by Lord_Pall at 11:03 AM on March 25, 2008
I clicked twice and it worked the second time.
Can a mod person set the main link to Pundo3000, or nuke the post? I think the mirror site is having difficulties...
posted by Lord_Pall at 11:03 AM on March 25, 2008
Ah, looks like its up again. Barely.
I'd love to see someone execute these tips* while taking pictures of actual fast food. Artsy photography of shitty food.
*Why won't photojojo accept my marriage proposals?
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 11:04 AM on March 25, 2008
I'd love to see someone execute these tips* while taking pictures of actual fast food. Artsy photography of shitty food.
*Why won't photojojo accept my marriage proposals?
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 11:04 AM on March 25, 2008
soup made of LIES!
posted by Lord_Pall at 11:11 AM on March 25, 2008 [3 favorites]
posted by Lord_Pall at 11:11 AM on March 25, 2008 [3 favorites]
Germans sure like their vacuum-packed processed food. I wouldn't buy any of that stuff based on the photos on the package.
Patton Oswalt on the KFC Famous Bowls.
posted by Pastabagel at 11:15 AM on March 25, 2008 [1 favorite]
Patton Oswalt on the KFC Famous Bowls.
posted by Pastabagel at 11:15 AM on March 25, 2008 [1 favorite]
I thought this was going to be great, but the stuff pretty much looked like what was on the box.
posted by zeoslap at 11:16 AM on March 25, 2008
posted by zeoslap at 11:16 AM on March 25, 2008
Americans sure like their vacuum-packed processed food too. I hope someone does this with American meals, cause damn. I'm sure they're just as gross.
posted by agregoli at 11:25 AM on March 25, 2008
posted by agregoli at 11:25 AM on March 25, 2008
You know, that's why I like SPAM. What you see is what you get. And it's might tasty grilled.
posted by monospace at 11:26 AM on March 25, 2008
posted by monospace at 11:26 AM on March 25, 2008
I think the deceptive photography is only half as alarming as the fact that Germans actually eat this shit.
Kebabs in a can? Are you serious?!
posted by tocts at 11:30 AM on March 25, 2008
Kebabs in a can? Are you serious?!
posted by tocts at 11:30 AM on March 25, 2008
I feel the same way about a fresh loaf of Velveeta, m-space.
There is a certain purity in the extruded orange food product that satisfies like nothing else.
I have never been more serious in my life.
posted by Dizzy at 11:31 AM on March 25, 2008
There is a certain purity in the extruded orange food product that satisfies like nothing else.
I have never been more serious in my life.
posted by Dizzy at 11:31 AM on March 25, 2008
I love how the fake photo-Whopper has grill marks on the edge of the patty.
posted by eritain at 11:43 AM on March 25, 2008
posted by eritain at 11:43 AM on March 25, 2008
Kebabs in a can, why not. And you should try Cheeseburger in a can too!
posted by monospace at 11:46 AM on March 25, 2008
posted by monospace at 11:46 AM on March 25, 2008
I love stuffing cheap poison into my mouth!
posted by crazy finger at 11:49 AM on March 25, 2008
posted by crazy finger at 11:49 AM on March 25, 2008
That funstasticus site can eff off. More like, fun-shittysitewithtoomanyads,soFirefoxcrashes-icus. The [via] convention is your friend.
Yeah, I'm mostly in awe over the differences in the food culture. What are the odds on how much tinned seafood one can eat before botulism is the rule, not the exception?
posted by pineapple at 11:50 AM on March 25, 2008
Yeah, I'm mostly in awe over the differences in the food culture. What are the odds on how much tinned seafood one can eat before botulism is the rule, not the exception?
posted by pineapple at 11:50 AM on March 25, 2008
Even in the official pics, both the famous bowl and the arby's sandwich look revolting.
posted by rhymer at 11:58 AM on March 25, 2008
posted by rhymer at 11:58 AM on March 25, 2008
I hate it when the other links on the target page are more interesting than the linked article. While the fast food expose was fascinating, I was constantly drawn to the 'People in Newspaper Ads that Looked like they were Farting' page.
posted by sfts2 at 11:58 AM on March 25, 2008
posted by sfts2 at 11:58 AM on March 25, 2008
Needs a third photo: what it looks like after it's been chewed.
posted by seanmpuckett at 12:33 PM on March 25, 2008
posted by seanmpuckett at 12:33 PM on March 25, 2008
I remember as a kid being so frustrated because I could never get my Nestle Quick chocolate milk to be as brown as it appeared on the packaging. No amoung of powder in my milk would darken the stuff. Then I thought it was because we didn't have the syrup. But when we finally got the syrup, it was just as light.
Damn you Nestle with your promises of chocolatey, slurpy goodness!
posted by bitteroldman at 12:43 PM on March 25, 2008
Damn you Nestle with your promises of chocolatey, slurpy goodness!
posted by bitteroldman at 12:43 PM on March 25, 2008
Oh heavens! Appetite lost and I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
posted by Holy foxy moxie batman! at 12:47 PM on March 25, 2008
posted by Holy foxy moxie batman! at 12:47 PM on March 25, 2008
Kebabs in a can? Are you serious?!
My thoughts exactly. Who knew? Why do I? I'm both amazed at human ingenuity and disgusted with the uses we make of it. Can I forget I saw this, if I want to badly enough?
I love the basil leaves so tastefully adorning the ham n cheese slices. It's an elegant touch.
posted by Tehanu at 12:54 PM on March 25, 2008
My thoughts exactly. Who knew? Why do I? I'm both amazed at human ingenuity and disgusted with the uses we make of it. Can I forget I saw this, if I want to badly enough?
I love the basil leaves so tastefully adorning the ham n cheese slices. It's an elegant touch.
posted by Tehanu at 12:54 PM on March 25, 2008
I call shenanigans on the cheeseburger in a can. Even with my extremely limited German I can tell that it's from a hiking and backcountry shop. That is, it's meant for the same market that eats MREs with apparent gusto and relish (if not mustard and cayenne pepper). It's a truism that anything tastes good in the woods, and that probably even extends to a cheeseburger in a can. But I don't think anyone ever would have claimed that it was the sort of thing you'd eat if there was any other choice. At all.
posted by rusty at 12:58 PM on March 25, 2008
posted by rusty at 12:58 PM on March 25, 2008
Because nothing says "balanced breakfast" like "Nougat Pillows."
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 1:05 PM on March 25, 2008
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 1:05 PM on March 25, 2008
rusty--
I agree 100% with you, but I've also got some pretty fond memories of Underwood Deviled Chicken (in a can, natch) on Ritz crackers followed by Space Food Sticks and Tang out of my trusty Alladin thermos.
We'd feast in our tree fort.
No better sauce than adventure!
This stuff is catnip to my inner 12-year-old.
posted by Dizzy at 1:06 PM on March 25, 2008 [3 favorites]
I agree 100% with you, but I've also got some pretty fond memories of Underwood Deviled Chicken (in a can, natch) on Ritz crackers followed by Space Food Sticks and Tang out of my trusty Alladin thermos.
We'd feast in our tree fort.
No better sauce than adventure!
This stuff is catnip to my inner 12-year-old.
posted by Dizzy at 1:06 PM on March 25, 2008 [3 favorites]
If, while foraging in the wilderness, a cheeseburger in can was the only sustenance I could locate, I would indeed eat it. If, however, I was packing for such an adventure, I would weigh myself down with all the trail mix and nutrition bars I could carry before I ever doomed myself by placing such a thing in my backpack. I would pack ammunition for wild squirrels first. It's a cheeseburger. In a can. No, it won't kill me, but it will sap away what it means to be human.
posted by Tehanu at 1:06 PM on March 25, 2008
posted by Tehanu at 1:06 PM on March 25, 2008
(And I'd argue I was more human before puberty than any time since then...)
posted by Dizzy at 1:08 PM on March 25, 2008
posted by Dizzy at 1:08 PM on March 25, 2008
Damn you Nestle with your promises of chocolatey, slurpy goodness!
Chocolate Malt Ovaltine, man. Seriously.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 1:21 PM on March 25, 2008
Chocolate Malt Ovaltine, man. Seriously.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 1:21 PM on March 25, 2008
What in the living hell is Bifi??? A biscotti-covered hot dog that's sold like a candy bar?
posted by Dr-Baa at 1:24 PM on March 25, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by Dr-Baa at 1:24 PM on March 25, 2008 [2 favorites]
Urgh. Do you mind? I'm trying to eat.
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:24 PM on March 25, 2008
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:24 PM on March 25, 2008
I thought this was going to be great, but the stuff pretty much looked like what was on the box.
posted by zeoslap at 2:16 PM on March 25 [+] [!]
I'd say you're right for the most part, with the exception of the herring salad. Pretty far from goal.
Also, where might one acquire some tasty, tasty nougat pillows?
posted by vewystwange at 1:25 PM on March 25, 2008
Too much sauce. On everything.
posted by lemonfridge at 1:38 PM on March 25, 2008
posted by lemonfridge at 1:38 PM on March 25, 2008
Fleischsalat: Why don't you just drink some mayonnaise?
Herringssalat: Why don't you just drink some pink mayonnaise?
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 1:42 PM on March 25, 2008 [1 favorite]
Herringssalat: Why don't you just drink some pink mayonnaise?
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 1:42 PM on March 25, 2008 [1 favorite]
Krabbensalat: Why don't you just drink some chowder? Also, Krabben ≠ Crab!
posted by pineapple at 1:50 PM on March 25, 2008
posted by pineapple at 1:50 PM on March 25, 2008
Actually, I think this one proves that it's a double post.
posted by pineapple at 1:52 PM on March 25, 2008
posted by pineapple at 1:52 PM on March 25, 2008
God, why don't WE have nougat pillows?
I'd eat a lot of that vacuum-packed soupy stuff if it was available in the US. But then I'm in college.
posted by showbiz_liz at 1:55 PM on March 25, 2008
I'd eat a lot of that vacuum-packed soupy stuff if it was available in the US. But then I'm in college.
posted by showbiz_liz at 1:55 PM on March 25, 2008
Oh, this reminded me I still haven't eat my easter mämmi. 700 grams of rye goodness waiting in the fridge.
Mm. Soft.
posted by Free word order! at 1:55 PM on March 25, 2008
Mm. Soft.
posted by Free word order! at 1:55 PM on March 25, 2008
The requested URL belongs to the following category: Swimwear, Lingerie, and Nudity.
Those Germans will fuck anything (I'm assuming since my work wall has the second link blocked)!
posted by Pollomacho at 1:57 PM on March 25, 2008
Those Germans will fuck anything (I'm assuming since my work wall has the second link blocked)!
posted by Pollomacho at 1:57 PM on March 25, 2008
fixtypos(haven't eaten)
No, really writing with one hand, stuffing spoonfuls of mämmi with other.
posted by Free word order! at 2:02 PM on March 25, 2008
No, really writing with one hand, stuffing spoonfuls of mämmi with other.
posted by Free word order! at 2:02 PM on March 25, 2008
damn, talk about a blast from the past. I ate pretty much all of that shite as a teenager and it took me years to lose that weight again.
most of the pre-packaged stuff you see there is an industrialised and thus pale imitation of something actually good. especially krabbensalat (which is a mayo-based sauce with baby shrimps that taste unbelievably rich) is awesome when fresh of a cutter but just deplorable when factory-sealed and six months old.
posted by krautland at 2:25 PM on March 25, 2008
most of the pre-packaged stuff you see there is an industrialised and thus pale imitation of something actually good. especially krabbensalat (which is a mayo-based sauce with baby shrimps that taste unbelievably rich) is awesome when fresh of a cutter but just deplorable when factory-sealed and six months old.
posted by krautland at 2:25 PM on March 25, 2008
oh yeah, the only two exceptions are hanuta and bifi. especially all that bifi shit is just vile and has no place in any civilized society.
posted by krautland at 2:26 PM on March 25, 2008
posted by krautland at 2:26 PM on March 25, 2008
What in the living hell is Bifi??? A biscotti-covered hot dog that's sold like a candy bar?
Um, yeah, my first guess was granola-covered sausage. Can someone please explain?
posted by vytae at 2:35 PM on March 25, 2008
Um, yeah, my first guess was granola-covered sausage. Can someone please explain?
posted by vytae at 2:35 PM on March 25, 2008
Also, are those mushrooms in the can labeled "hell"? I know some people who would agree...
posted by vytae at 2:38 PM on March 25, 2008
posted by vytae at 2:38 PM on March 25, 2008
I just drove down to Heidelberg this weekend and was eyeing some of those Biffa products when I stopped to get gas. Thank god I didn't succumb to the temptation.
posted by smcniven at 2:42 PM on March 25, 2008
posted by smcniven at 2:42 PM on March 25, 2008
Just when I thought I'd imagined every possible use for mayonnaise there could ever be...
posted by tastybrains at 2:51 PM on March 25, 2008
posted by tastybrains at 2:51 PM on March 25, 2008
I read a very sweet memoir once about a guy basically roughing it around the USA.
Standard stuff, but lovely...his ONE rule was always keeping a can of chopped liver in his knapsack. So he'd never, ever have absolutely nothing left to eat.
(You might have to think for a second to get it...)
posted by Jody Tresidder at 2:53 PM on March 25, 2008
Standard stuff, but lovely...his ONE rule was always keeping a can of chopped liver in his knapsack. So he'd never, ever have absolutely nothing left to eat.
(You might have to think for a second to get it...)
posted by Jody Tresidder at 2:53 PM on March 25, 2008
I think Barbara Walters hired the same dream team to do all her publicity shots and film her Oscar specials.
posted by HotPatatta at 3:14 PM on March 25, 2008
posted by HotPatatta at 3:14 PM on March 25, 2008
Patton Oswald is a bitter, angry hobbit.
posted by Dave Faris at 3:59 PM on March 25, 2008
posted by Dave Faris at 3:59 PM on March 25, 2008
Also, if it doesn't rot, don't eat it.
posted by Dave Faris at 4:01 PM on March 25, 2008
posted by Dave Faris at 4:01 PM on March 25, 2008
I hadn't seen fast food vs. reality. Thanks. Arby's the loser, hands-down, again. (on the road, I insist on a separate stop if my sig other insists on Arby's)
As for this bunch, obviously Ritter is ok stuff, and I'd like a crack at that mini krustenbraten.
But those Wasa sandwiches fill me with rage, and I bought some Knorr soup the other week (nice packaging) and couldn't figure out why they'd decided to stock the soup with sawdust and elmer's glue.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 4:47 PM on March 25, 2008
As for this bunch, obviously Ritter is ok stuff, and I'd like a crack at that mini krustenbraten.
But those Wasa sandwiches fill me with rage, and I bought some Knorr soup the other week (nice packaging) and couldn't figure out why they'd decided to stock the soup with sawdust and elmer's glue.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 4:47 PM on March 25, 2008
I have a feeling that if you've reached the point in your culinary life where you're willing to buy a hamburger from a vending machine, you probably don't really care whether it matches the picture on the box.
posted by Dave Faris at 5:48 PM on March 25, 2008
posted by Dave Faris at 5:48 PM on March 25, 2008
Man, I remember playing with the rubber tacos from a photoshoot at Tricon International years ago and was grossed out by how realistic they were. I seem to recall that quite a bit of the fake food photographed for Taco Bell, Pizza Hut and KFC was actually from a place in Japan that did nothing but make fake food for advertising purposes.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 12:33 PM on March 26, 2008
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 12:33 PM on March 26, 2008
Chocolate Malt Ovaltine, man. Seriously.
Why do they call it Ovaltine?
- The cup is round.
- The jar is round.
Maybe they should call it Round-tine?
anyone else watch Seinfeld last night?
posted by bitteroldman at 6:29 AM on March 27, 2008
Why do they call it Ovaltine?
- The cup is round.
- The jar is round.
Maybe they should call it Round-tine?
anyone else watch Seinfeld last night?
posted by bitteroldman at 6:29 AM on March 27, 2008
I don't care what they call it. It's the Jesus-on-the-earth of beverage mixes, and that's the truth.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 7:30 AM on March 27, 2008
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 7:30 AM on March 27, 2008
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posted by CitrusFreak12 at 11:01 AM on March 25, 2008